The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – I Can’t Decide Which One Is More Insane

Sorry I skipped last weeks recap. I don’t even remember what happened so it couldn’t have been all that interesting.

Kyle decides she wants to learn how to ride a bike, so obviously she hires an Olympic Medalist to teach her the complexities of pedaling and holding onto handle bars.

Apparently you need a good bikini wax in order to properly ride a bike.

So Kyle decides to get waxed in her home because when you have money why bother going places or doing things when you can just sit home and have everyone come to you?

I love you Kyle, but I really didn’t need to see this!

This house is one rainstorm away from sliding down that hill.

 

Lisa and Cedric need to take a written test in order to get their American drivers licenses, so instead of studying the book they decide it would be a better idea to practice driving around in a parking lot.

Lisa says that she feared for her life while being forced into this eclectic group of people at the DMV. I wonder who she was scared of. The mom with the baby? The the clean cut white guy? Maybe the young guy in the t-shirt with the writing on it? Or maybe the Mexican couple, or the preppy guy with the striped collar shirt – he does look unshaven.
Dear @BravoAndy, can we please see an episode where Lisa visits West Baltimore? I think that would be great.

 

Kim and Kyle go to lunch. Apparently Kyle’s housekeeper disappeared in the middle of the night. Those damn Immigration officials keep screwing up her staff and now she doesn’t know who is going to watch her kids while she’s in Napa.
Um… I can think of at least one relative who loves kids and has nothing better to do on the weekend. Why doesn’t Kyle ask Kim to watch the kids? Why doesn’t Kim offer? Odd…

Lisa calls and wants to know why Kim never thanked Martin for driving her home after Mohammed’s party. Kyle and Lisa try to give Kim a little lesson on the proper way to interact with other human beings, but she just doesn’t seem to be able to grasp the concept so they give up.

Camille has dinner with her paid friends and is still obsessing over the fight with Kyle while in her interview she insists that she likes to forgive and forget and move on. Nick thinks she should invite Kyle over and try to build a friendship. But the women who rely on Camille for pay checks, houses, and free vacations don’t want anyone stepping on their territory and warn Camille that it is a veeeery bad idea to try to make another girl friend. Kyle could be dangerous if given access to knives or forks.

Then Camille had a hot flash and tried to blame it on Nick.

 

Kim has a BBQ at her house and tells the story bout how she met a guy called Single Gary at the market while she was buying chicken.
So this is what happened: She needed chicken. But he was buying all the chicken. So she told him he can’t take the chicken because she needs the chicken so he should go find some other chicken because that chicken is her chicken and she is going to take the chicken. Then she sings a song about chicken, “It’s my chicken, gimme the chicken“….

I’m so embarrassed for Kim. I feel like maybe she should be wearing a padded helmet and a bracelet with Kyle’s phone number and address on it.

Kim invites the random guy she just met at the market over to her house. She says that since he lives in a nice neighborhood, he’s most likely not a serial killer. This guy might not be a serial killer, but I swear I saw him on an episode of To Catch A Predator.

Kim says that she actually likes Single Gary, just like how she liked Martin who she refused to call. Since she likes him, she decides that it will be a good idea to tell him that she has a bunch of kids from a bunch of different fathers (which is actually partially true) and then pretends that her youngest child is still breast feeding despite the fact that she is like 54 years old.

When Single Gary says he’s going out for ice cream Kim agrees to go with him and he actually seemed like he wanted her to come. But then she immediately says “Actually I’ll just walk you out.” I think Taylor had the right idea in refusing to hook Kim up with one of her friends. She is Koo Koo.

 

Taylor is volunteering at a women’s shelter which is a really great cause to support. It really is. And I feel for anyone who has been a victim of abuse… BUT… I just don’t believe Taylor’s story. I think she is totally making the whole thing up for attention.

When Taylor cries all her emotion ends up in her chin because it’s the only part of her face that can still move.

 

Kyle and Mauricio ride bikes… Boooooring.

 

While on their way to the beach, Camille tells DD that Kelsey decided to move to New York full time without even discussing it with her. But she doesn’t seem too concerned as she drives around in her convertible, flirts with younger men, and throws dinner parties. I don’t think Camille cared too much where Kelsey lived as long as they stayed married and she still got to walk the red carpet with him at award shows.

 

The day of the charity poker event is finally here, and all kinds of celebrities showed up, such as the girl from The Brady Bunch and Kato Kalin. I actually saw Bruce Buffer (the announcer for UFC) there, but they didn’t bother to put his name in a caption on the bottom of the screen, I guess the editors aren’t UFC fans.

What the hell is Adrienne wearing? She can obviously afford a stylist, so I guess she just doesn’t think she needs one? And what the hell is with those damn sparkle extensions that she has on in every single scene? I wanted to make a comment about her being so rich that her extensions are made of diamonds, but honestly, it just looks cheap.

Taylor decided to only invite Adrienne to the charity event and not the other women because just like everything else that happens in the world, this charity fund raiser is all about her and her speech and not about raising money for women and children living in the shelter.

Taylor get’s on stage and tells her story of abuse to a crowd of people who don’t seem the least bit interested in what she’s saying.

 

“Uh… wtf is she talking about? We’ve been friends for years. I never heard this story before.”

“This bitch will stop at nothing for attention. I should have made her sign a pre nup…”

“And I want every little girl to know that one day she can grow up and marry a rich guy and live in Beverly Hills just like me. Unless she’s ugly. Gold digging only works for pretty girls.”

Next week Camille gets revenge on throws a dinner party for Kyle and the other women.

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136 Responses to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – I Can’t Decide Which One Is More Insane

  1. Waxdiva says:

    WOO-HOO!!! Back to normal! Great post, as usual…

    • Jennifer says:

      I’m just back myself and was in serious withdrawl and thinking I was so behind and everyone will make fun of me for not being “in the know” so I’m glad to hear you were out for a bit so I’m not feeling so slack. LOVE LOVE LOVE the comment about Kim needing to wear a padded helmet and bracelet with Kyles name on it….a crumb from Christmas cookie I was secretly eating went up my nose since I was trying to stifle a laught (at work). Now I am in pain and that is what I get for eating a cookie anyway!! I havent even seen this episode yet but couldn’t resist the blog. Love your blogs!

  2. katie says:

    Kim’s fireplace is hideous. Adriane is like dolly Parton, it takes a lot of money to have hair that cheap. Glad you’re back!

    • Jennifer says:

      Totally hideous and it looks like she stole that shirt from Vickie Gunvalson’s wardrobe. (and why would anyone do that, unless they have a tacky fireplace of course.)

  3. LynnNChicago says:

    Hysterical! Great job RCH! xo

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  5. tweatcyn says:

    Funny that Kato Kaelin is there. I’ve considered Cedric to be the Kato of the 21st century. I LOL’d abt Single Gary being on Predators! Spot on!

  6. Alicia says:

    Soooo glad you are back! I was going through serious withdrawl! Shakes and all!
    Great recap! As always!!
    Kim is nuts! Def agree with you there! But I think Kyle is mean to her sister. I have watched a couple of episodes again (yeah I have no life) and she says the meanest things to Kim! Now wonder poor Kim doesnt know how to interact with other people! It is because Kyle beats her up verbally every chance she gets!
    I do not believe Taylor’s story at all! I am glad to know I am not the only one! She was just talking in another episode about her parents and the birthday parties she used to have! WTF?
    Can’t wait for the SMACK down tonight!

    • I don’t know why, but I just didn’t believe her story for a second. It just sounds like total BS to me. Lol.

      • It never dawned on me that she could be faking it….. I am gonna have to re-watch that episode, because you are making me think,(dangerous move, i tell ya)
        OMG where have you been??!!
        very happy you’re back, you are so funny, I missed you.

      • sophie says:

        I didn’t believe her either and sad to say, was embarrassed for her. And Adrienne looks like Mattel’s real life inspiration for their Cougar Sparkle Malibu Barbie. Especially in that get up.

      • 7and7is says:

        Thank you RCH! I WAS a victim of abuse ..my bro and I were raised by a crazy mother that suffers from Borderline personality Disorder and our live were hell. I still suffer from PTS. Anyway, I agree with you and don’t believe her for one minute… she is full of s88t in my book, too.
        I also feel that she was so angry that her hubby bought that puppy against her wishes that she would do anything out of spite to hurt him and her little girl..she is hideous and makes Camille look good in my eyes

        • I’m sorry for what you went through. 😦
          When it comes to Taylor I just find it hard to believe that a grown woman had this terrible experience that she never shared with anyone in her life, and then one day all of a sudden out of no where she decided to talk about it – but not to her friends – to a room full of strangers on national television. Not buying it. And even if it were true that she was abused… Adrienne is her friend. Why the hell would she let Adrienne hear the story for the first time in a room full of strangers? Don’t you think she would tell her the story in private first, or at least give her some warning that she would be revealing something? The whole thing just screams “Pay attention to me!! And feel bad for me!!” I don’t know if it was the magic of editing, but if my screen shots of Adrienne and Russel really are the faces they were making while Taylor was talking… neither of those expressions look like sympathy to me.
          Also the fact that she didn’t invite the other women to the charity just really highlights her true self centered-ness in my opinion. Especially because according to her husband a lot of people were out of town that weekend and not as many people showed up as expected. I would LOVE to hear the rest of that conversation between her and Russel in the car. I wonder if it started with him getting on her for not inviting the other women. That is just beyond fucked up imo. All because she didn’t want them to hear her stupid speech? Then don’t give your speech! You know Lisa and Camille would have donated a lot. Even though Camille is a selfish bitch, she would donate just so that she could brag about it and add another check mark on her list of “Reasons why I’m amazing”.
          I think Taylor just doesn’t get it that certain things in life are really not about her.

          • Isharemymeds says:

            Abusive is very real. I believe her because your ‘story’ or conversation changes with whomever you are talking to. If she is at the shelter then she will feel like they relate to her and she can be an ‘inspiration’ to them. If she is talking about BH and shopping and flying in private jets the ladies are not going to relate to her.
            Same with Adrienne. She seems to have this fabulous life, so why would Taylor cast rain on their get together with her sob childhood stories. You are more likely to share the ‘happier’ stories. We always try to fit in, not be an outcast. We tend to equal wealth, fame, beauty, and materialistic things with perfection but thanks to Reality Shows we know that is not the truth.
            Just because you were abused doesn’t mean that you maybe didn’t get to experience a happy christmas one year or birthday party when things were going good at home.
            I act just like her. I’m uncomfortable with my childhood abuse and have accepted it .
            I’m happy- go-lucky like Taylor with my friends, but if someone talks to me about abuse, I reply , I believe you bc sometimes my house was like that.
            Taylor doesn’t want to be seen as a victim but inspiration. She didn’t invite the other ladies bc she didn’t know them well enough and she didn’t want her childhood experiences to be their lasting impression about her. By the time this aired, Taylor thought that they would have enough time with her to see past this.

            It is also well noted, that Kim and Kyle had a horrific childhood. One looks to have managed to put it behind her and the other is still struggling with self-esteem, drugs, and alcohol issues.

            • Isharemymeds says:

              After reading more comments, this is the reason why I choose to share only happy memories.
              I don’t want to either be subjected to ridule or over the top sympathy.
              You never know how people are going to take it. Even your closest friends.
              It is like, “how can she be telling the truth, look at her fabulous life?”
              Again, childhood abuse is something that happens to you BEFORE you even have a chance to take control of your life.
              A lot of the time I’m fine, but sometimes an event will trigger a childhood memory and I can be depressed for weeks. It’s freaky.
              Until I tell myself I have a fabulous life to live and letting my parent’s actions overtake another single second is just not worth it.

              • Waxdiva says:

                First, I love your name! And I’d be happy to share my meds with you…
                I totally agree with you; I get those flashbacks, too, with the same results. It’s good to keep in mind that parents are/were just people, too.

              • I’m really sorry for what you went though and that you still deal with the effects it had on you.
                I understand why you chose to believe Taylor. But I just find it impossible.

                • Isharemymeds says:

                  RCH: That’s not a typical response for someone who has had so many years to get over it and seems well adjusted in their life.
                  ……………………………………..Mutilating your face and believing and spewing that you live this posh BH lifestyle is a hint that she is not well adjusted to life…………..There is no typical response, some people succeed like Oprah, others carry on in delusional pursuit of nirvana like Taylor, some become self destructive (like Angelina Jolie) and find their way back, others never do and commit suicide, some like Courtney Love repeat the cycle.

                  You NEVER get over it, it is who you are, genetics, you simply live life to the best of your ability. Like Waxdiva, said, when you accept that parents are just products of the own environment it gives you strenght to break the cycle.

                  No matter how adjusted you are, you always get flashbacks and experience episodes of depression. A lot of it is shame, maybe blame, and anger towards those that abused you.

                  Taylor, is probably getting some surreal flashbacks right now, because she has a little girl and a loveless marriage, similar to what she tried to implied in her speech.

                  Taylor wants the fantasy money can buy her, but her moody (which I think she is just camera shy) daughter and insensitive husband are not letting her have.
                  Taylor means well and we are only catching 15 minutes of her life every week!

                  RCH! Please find out why she changed her name! You are good at this shyt.
                  P.s. I changed my name, but only bc I was named after my Mother which used to gross me out.

                • I don’t know why she changed her name. But there was someone in the comments before who’s sister knew her in high school. She suggested that she probably changed her name because Shana sounds too midwestern.

                  I understand what you’re saying about the abuse and all that. I just find it difficult to believe that a woman has this big secret that she can’t even say 1 word about without bursting into tears, that she never told anyone about before, and then all of a sudden she suddenly wants to reveal her secret to the cameras. To me it looks the same as people who reveal secrets on Jerry Springer. The first time Adrienne heard this story was at the event, do you think that’s normal? If she were my friend I would be like “wait a minute, you didn’t want to tell me about this, but you told a room full of strangers and tv cameras?”
                  Let’s even pretend for a second that she was abused – why did she suddenly decide to talk about it now? She didn’t tell her closest friends, but she was willing to tell a tv producer.
                  Either way the whole situation is shady and I don’t think she’s brave, I think she’s a fame whore using a serious issue to get attention and ratings.

            • I still don’t believe Taylor. The way she immediately starts crying and can’t speak seems very fake. That’s not a typical response for someone who has had so many years to get over it and seems well adjusted in their life. Maybe she did have abuse in her past – I can’t know for sure – but it’s my opinion that either she is lying or she’s laying it on extra thick for the camera. Nothing about her story or her behavior appears credible to me. Also, the way she was so vague came off as not believable, she never said who the abuser was or what exactly it was that they did.

              She made the charity about her and her story, when it should have been about the women and raising money for them. If she didn’t feel comfortable sharing her story with the other women present then she should’t have told her story. That night was supposed to be about raising money, not about “lets feel bad for Taylor”. The other women should have been invited because their presence would have generated more money for the charity that Taylor supposedly cares so much about. She turned a charity event into all about her, so I wonder how much she truly cares about the women she claims to be helping.

              • Waxdiva says:

                It may have been producer-induced… it’s a semi-scripted show. I could just see it: the producers sent around a list of problems or experiences and the HWs checked them off whatever pertianed to them; then the producers included it in the show.

                • Isharemymeds says:

                  Wax Diva, the irony, Are you Taylor herself? JokinG! Thanks, I guess it is just you and me!

                  You are right. Taylor, did not turn the event all about herself, it was her storyline.
                  They were filming her, not the battered woman.

                  There is a difference. The b-day Taylor did make it all about herself, but she wanted to SHARE it with her daughter who unfortunately fled the scene.

                • She made it about herself when she refused to invite the other women because she didn’t want them to hear HER speech.
                  Her job was to raise money for the charity. Instead she turned it into a big reveal of her “secret”.
                  That’s selfish, and it’s another reason why I don’t believe her story… if you can even call her vague references a story.

              • Isharemymeds says:

                You might find this bizarre bc you were never abused but I used to do that. Cry without tears.
                I just never did it in front of a camera.
                I couldn’t help wanting to cry and my body went thru the motions, but I tried my best not to let myself cry. In my eyes I felt that if they saw me cry, well, they won.
                Sometimes people instead of crying they burst into rages of screaming, this makes them feel powerful, and at the end they cry anyways. Same thing.

                They are avoiding crying. We are taught that crying is for the weak.
                Also, at events like Taylor’s you are told to keep speeches light, afterall it is a party, and the last thing people want to hear is horrible abuse stories to kill the party mood.

                Sounds harsh, but it is an unspoken understanding, people know why they are contributing, no one wants to hear it, though.

      • Snarkella says:

        I had the same reaction. And when one of the ladies at the shelter told Taylor that the kids cried when she left, I didn’t buy that either. To me, it sounded as though she was telling Taylor what she thought Taylor wanted to hear, and hoping that would result in more money raised for the shelter.

    • Tuzentswurth says:

      You’re right Alicia. I forgot about her narration of her fantasy childhood in the birthday party episode. I’m going to re-watch both stories when I have time.

  7. Colibrimoon says:

    I tweeted that Camille was having a hot flash…I’m so glad some one agrees with me!

    Great blog BTW.

    Wish the ghost would come back. I don’t want “it” to scare you, leave cigarette ashes, leave chapsticks or adjust the chairs. I want “it” to do something to cause you to jump on your computer and write about it.

  8. WindyCityWondering says:

    The charity event was another side of Taylor that was interesting but Taylor’s good deeds are overshadowed by that face!

    • Her good deeds are over shadowed by her selfishness. Imagine how much money the charity lost out on because she didn’t invite Lisa and Camille.

      • sophie says:

        Imagine how much the charity lost out because instead of merely hosting an event, she spent $60K on a kiddie birthday party. Imagine how many battered women and children that $60 thousand would have helped escape a possible death sentence.

      • Isharemymeds says:

        We think alike most of the time, and I love your site, but you are out of line on this RCH.
        How do you know Camille and Lisa would of indeed donated lots of moolah?
        I do a lot of charity work on behalf of needy children and the richest people are usually the cheapest! I am just happy if anyone donates 5 bucks! Some don’t even donate anything after saying they will.
        Example: Kim G only donated $300 (or maybe 500) to the cancer child on NJ. That seems like peanuts compare to her wealth, but when you have people like Danielle and her 20 guests that donated ZERO, you are grateful for every quarter you collect.

        Also, at Sheree’s dancing event those ATL hos only managed to remove a $20 bill from their $3,000 handbags. That was only because they were forced! If the cameras had not been there, the charity would of also collected ZERO.

        Truth is Taylor didn’t know the ladies well enough. In societies like BH they are always getting hit up for donations/charity events.

        Taylor just did not feel comfortable at that point.

        • I can’t know for sure what they would or wouldn’t have donated. But it was a poker event, I doubt they would have showed up and stood against the wall and not played.
          I understand that Taylor didn’t feel comfortable. But it doesn’t matter how she felt – it wasn’t about HER. That’s what she doesn’t get. This wasn’t her party, she got all wrapped up in revealing her story and lost site of the true purpose of the event. She made a charity event about her. That is the definition of selfish.
          I can’t say 100% that the women would have donated anything, but by not inviting them, Taylor ensured 100% that they wouldn’t donate anything.
          Someone who truly cared about abuse victims would have put their personal feelings aside and done the right thing. Especially since according to her husband, there were a lot of people who couldn’t make it that weekend.

  9. MickeyMouth says:

    Last week Kato Kaelin, tonight Faye Resnick. Who else from OJ trial be making a cameo this season?

    Hilarious as usual RCH 🙂

  10. RHofWhatever says:

    “I’m so embarrassed for Kim. I feel like maybe she should be wearing a padded helmet and a bracelet with Kyle’s phone number and address on it.”
    LMAO! I actually squirmed when she was doing this and prayed the editors would show her some mercy and just stop filming.

  11. Adgirl says:

    Adrienne just cracks me up. She is STFU Malibu Barbie Glitter edition who wears the pants and the high heels in her house.

  12. GHOST PLUMMER says:

    ROFLMFAO DON’t CARE FOR THESE SHOWS,BUT YOUR RE CAPS SOUNDS MORE FUNNY,AND ENTERTAINING THAN THE ACTUAL SHOWS BRAVO!

  13. @Sarah310 says:

    RCH I can’t wait until you recap the episode on tonight 12/16
    HOLY SHIT
    I hope you rip Camille a new one I am going to retweet the shit out of that post to Camille. She is horrible. Truly.
    I don’t have one shred of sympathy for her husband leaving her, AT ALL

    • Tuzentswurth says:

      Wow, she is horrible and so transparent. The smug faces she is able to make thru all that plastic surgery is astounding. She has a terrible “tell” in her facial expressions. Small children can lie better than Camille.

  14. Tuzentswurth says:

    Ah, I can stop the antidepressants, you’re back! Great blog, lmao. I thought Kyle was hinting for Kim to watch her kids…..but no, think about it. Never occurred to either of them like it would to us. When you don’t even watch your own kids, but hire nannies, why would you expect a relative to watch them. Come on, that is hired help work, I mean it would just be rude to even think it in BH. There are underlings that do those childcare chores. And why would you tell the TV audience that your live-in disappeared into the night. Either the person was an illegal or you are such a bitch to work for, just sayin’.
    Now I know why Kyle thinks a 5th child would be nice, she has two people to do her work at home. This leaves loads of time to go out to lunch and have bitchfests with your friends!
    SO GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK! You look very rested. 🙂

  15. Larue says:

    The sum total of the story of abuse Taylor told was that she was in her little blue footsie and some man was mean to her mother. I got that little sad story beat by a loooooooong shot. She is trying to garner attention by lying about being abused. Very pathetic.

    Oh, please, please, please RCH post tonight’s episode so we can talk about Allison Dubois. BTW if you look her up on Wiki the first sentence refers to her as a fake medium.

    Enjoy your holidays. I hope your finger feels better soon.

    • Wait… are you saying Camille’s friend Allison is Allison Dubois from the show Medium?

      • CAgirl says:

        Yes–and she was an amazing addition to tonight’s show (in a horrifying, can’t look away from the train wreck sort of way)! Can’t wait for your take on it. BTW, so happy to see a new recap up today, sorta like Crack Claus visited early 🙂

      • Adgirl says:

        She knew you’d ask that.

    • Tuzentswurth says:

      “BTW if you look her up on Wiki the first sentence refers to her as a fake medium.”
      If there was any doubt that she is a fake, she has REALLY confirmed it (I just use caps now, b/c italics scare me):)
      “I can tell if someone’s husband is cheating on them”….bwahahahaa
      Camille’s good friend Allison really had her back on this one huh?
      I can envision Camille and Allison getting together for lunch everyday to EAT CROW.
      I can be a famous police medium too. Just act like “mysterious” moron and make vague statements about a lot of shit, one or two of them will come close enough.
      And Kyle, sorry but you need to get yourself under control. I’m beginning to think that koo-koo runs in that family. Nice dinner party.
      Too bad RCH that you couldn’t see WWHL, Camille called in to “apologize” to Kyle for the remarks about Kyle’s husband and their marriage…..but only b/c she (Camille)and her marriage have been exposed I’m sure. Looks like Camille just gets worse as episodes continue to unfold. No wonder she is hiding in a cave with Osama. It’s going to be tough showing her face again.

      • Wouldn’t it be funny if news broke tomorrow that Allison’s husband was cheating on her? Lol. That’s mean. But it would still be funny.
        Camille is only apologizing because some PR person forced her to. I haven’t watched the show yet and I already hate Allison from all the comments I’m reading. And I like the show Medium. Good thing I always watched online so that bitch never made a cent off of my viewership. Lol.
        Does anyone know if she has a twitter?

        • Tuzentswurth says:

          It would be hysterical if her husband is cheating on her and it is not the least bit mean for her. She actually said, after the women left something to the effect that if any of their children went missing, she wouldn’t participate in helping to find them….as if she could anyway….but it was a vile thing to say.

        • Waxdiva says:

          I despise Camille. Let me know if you can tell from what I wrote:

          http://stoopidhousewives.wordpress.com/

          I totally agree that her apology was PR motivated.

          • Adgirl says:

            I can’t believe anyone would marry and procreate with that woman. Can you imagine how she acts at home when she is drunk and displeased?
            Gross.

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  17. Daisy says:

    Taylor is pathetic. She is a couple of tics below Camille on the sociopath scale. I am very happy that domestic abuse is getting attention, but I am sure that Taylor is upset that it may be getting more attention than her. And, she is mean to Russell. I am sorry, but I think Russell hates the kind of person that we see in Taylor: fake, fraud, selfish. Her child even looks miserable in her presense; could be that she is wondering why her mommy looks different than other people and it scares her. I also find her angry and abusive. Could be that she was the abuser in her childhood. Why did she change her name? There is more to that story.

    Great recap RCH. I love it!! Happy Holidays.

    • There is an odd dynamic between her and her daughter. The kid looks annoyed and like she just wants to get away from her.
      I think she changed her name because she wanted to reinvent herself as a BH housewife and “Shana” is just too midwestern. I don’t know if she also changed her last name to Armstrong, or if that’s Russel’s last name. Although I don’t understand why she chose “Taylor” of all names. Seems really random. There was probably a older popular girl in her high school named Taylor who she always wanted to be like. Lol

  18. WindyCityWondering says:

    Last night’s dinner at Camielle’s was likely a take off on NY Scary Island…. which failed. Allison Dubois was hammered, manical and probably being paid by Camielle to say all the horrible crap to Kyle and start an all out shit storm. Sorry Camielle – you are as fake as your lips, breasts, cheeks and badly botoxed forehead!

    • Daisy says:

      And the things Camille said before and after the dinner were awful. What she said to Faye Resnick and in her interview was completely morally bankrupt. She is a truly awful person.

  19. GHOST PLUMMER says:

    Twurt,waxdiva of course I am sane. I’m only unstabble between the hours of 5-9pm EST hee hee. Keep up the good work..put your hair up, your quite comical! 🙂

  20. GHOST PLUMMER says:

    Sophie, you should understand how women like Taylor out here in the hills work. When they “pay” for those parties. It’s not in (CASH!) some call in favors, some put on credit.,so that 60k you thought Taylor paid for that party,and abused women could of benefit from …those women are better off with the cash donations their getting, because guess what? The ventors,and caters have yet to be paid that,so called 60k you viewers are made to believe was spent in one day!

    it’s no different than “My Sweet 16” parties for MTV,the entertainers that some parents “surprise” their kids with are mostly there for promotional service,or they do a “retain contract” type of thing.

    I’ve been there done that,and so of many of my relatives. I know the “ins,and outs” of entertainment,and all of you should keep in mind nothing is at what it seems! Gotta get back to production it’s raining here in Cali.. Keep up the good work Put Your Hair up.

    I’ll be back @ 5pm EST your time, to cause havoc on here as your #1 devoted troll mu ha ha vroom vroom!

    • Anonymous says:

      You’re missing the point, we are talking about the birthday party. Your grasp of the English language is egregious. You have to be a gopher (go-fer) for production if you have a job. I have a feeling the Federal Government subsidizes your employer to hire you. BTW, you are not entertaining from 5-9 pm, you are mostly ignored.

  21. GHOST PLUMMER says:

    P.S what ever to the Mickey Mouth chick,that once told me” come sit by me you fruity little nut cake” ha! Gotta Run be back later to annoy all of you ..see you then.

    • MickeyMouth says:

      Aww you miss me. Sorry. I have plans. I’ll have to catch you another time. Remember to be kind to your blos hostess.

  22. Snarkella says:

    Awwww, you’re back! It’s the like the sun is shining in the Land of Real Housewives again. LOL.

    You’re back in top form and I loved the whole blog, but this was one of my favorite lines: “I’m so embarrassed for Kim. I feel like maybe she should be wearing a padded helmet and a bracelet with Kyle’s phone number and address on it.”

    So sad, so true and so effing hilarious! Kim doesn’t have a shot in hell of ever finding a partner in life, unless she submits to some heavy-duty therapy. No wonder she’s so terrified of letting go of her children. She’s going to end up alone. I truly feel sorry for her.

  23. TT in OC says:

    I still haven’t watched the “whole” episode because whenever they showed Camille’s face, I switched channel as quick as I possibly can.

    In regards to Taylor’s story, it reminds me of my sister-in-law who claimed she was abused by my father-in-law “mentally” because he took away her toys when she was young. I am sure there are more to that; however, imo, some people simply like to dramatize in order to get attention/sympathy by acting as a victim. My dearest father used physical punishment when I was a kid too but I never consider it as abused because that’s how it was in the past.

  24. GHOST PLUMMER says:

    HEY U LOOSERS SAMBUCAS SORRY AM RUNIN A LIL LATTE BUTT AM HERE 2 PISS U ASSHOLEZ OFF VROOOOOOOOOM

  25. GHOST PLUMMER says:

    Waxdiva on December 16th,at 11:22pm you told me that ” I actually sounded sane” was just replying to you when I said I’m only unstable during the hours of 5-9 EST.

    (Anonymous) me have lack of grasp of the English language? HA! ,and I am living off od Government assistance? In your BLOOMING DREAMS!

    I guess you weren’t around when I revealed my self 3 weeks ago,when I gave out my contact information ,so posters can contact me,to give me some unique ideas for (Geico Commercials)

    And incase you missed it. I am also, take issues with tissues you fold, Kiss Grandmas wrinkles ass, Ghost Plummer, ect. When I post on here as a “troll” it’s not to be profound, it’s to annoy peevish assholes like yourself. This is “the art” of a troll MY Dear.

    Your attempt to insult my intelligence was a massive EPIC FAIL! Now run along,and don’t be a jackanape ..you loathsome, indistinguishable cur!

    • Waxdiva says:

      Awww, thanks (I think). Anyway, what do you do at WB???

    • I have an idea for a Geico commercial. How about “So easy, Teresa Giudice can do it.”
      Oh, wait… they already did the caveman commercial. Never mind.

      • Waxdiva says:

        LOL! Can you imagine what’s going on in the Joo-dice house this weekend??? I’d love to have a listening device in that house to hear Tree screaming at Joe about what to say on the stand.

        Hmmm… maybe for the right amount of money one of her parents that live in the basement could be persuaded to leak some info…

  26. GHOST PLUMMER says:

    P.S ANONYMOUS, or is it ANONYASS? Do hope this is the first,and last time I would ever have to respond do you again. Hasta luego!

  27. GHOST PLUMMER says:

    818-954-6000 give me a call some time ,NOW! Or on Monday @ 1PM Pacific Time(ANONYMOUS/ANONYASS) when my assistant answers ,or anyone else at the Studio ..ask for D.Levine they’ll be more than happy to direct your call to me personally .. In the mean time I’ll be sitting here eating my Government cheese, while I await your call HA!

  28. GHOST PLUMMER says:

    Of course I missed you Mickey Mouth . You gave me a cute Nickname 🙂 ,use it on the job from time to time tee hee hee

  29. Terry says:

    Hi RCH!

    I love your blog and particularly want to congratulate you for using screen shots: it makes the recaps all the better! I have a few comments:

    1. Kim. I can see that she’s clueless and clingy and that people find that irritating. Even so, I feel for the woman: she didn’t have a childhood. She was not allowed to live through normal maturation, and her parents exploited her. So if she’s a little dingy, I don’t mind her. She’s not self-centered, she’s not mean (and her sister really is, and in particular mean to Kim in a very passive-aggressive way). Kim has her kids and her chicken grilling parties and doesn’t seem to be hurting anyone. Thus, I truly don’t see why, even if she’s a bit exasperating, many, many people just can’t stand her. Personally, I wish people would leave Kim alone — she’s just so obviously damaged and anxious all the time, but, again, she is not mean.

    2. Taylor. You may be seeing something that I don’t see and I concede that you might be right in that she’s inventing childhood abuse. Nonetheless, I tend to believe anyone who claims they’ve been through it precisely because it is such a horrific thing to lie about and it exposes the alleged survivor to derision.

    The evidence supporting Taylor’s assertion: A) Russell — ugh! Repetition compulsion? B) She’s mutilated her face and body and, though that seems to be normal in BH, Taylor is comparatively young. C) I myself am a survivor and I rarely speak of it, but when I do, it tends to come out awkwardly. I have told some friends and not others, I have spoken at some points but mostly I have not. I can imagine myself making an awkward speech like that (though not on national TV).

    On the other hand, Taylor might just be so narcissistic that she is making this up. I saw her website and it screams narcissistic personality disorder. And I can’t imagine making a speech like that on national television.

    3. Kyle. I cringe whenever she’s mean to her sister — which is all the time. I cringe when watch her say “Don’t be insecure” and then claim that she meant well. She’s a little viper, that one.

    Thanks for your very enjoyable blog!

  30. glued2it says:

    I think Taylor is self-centered AND a victim of childhood abuse. Not every victim grows up to be a saint. And I think Taylor married Russell because of her troubled childhood. HE represented stability for her. That was more important than romance and equality in her relationship.
    Could be royally wrong, but I also think it’s why she was the one to stand up at Camille’s party and yelled, “Enough! Enough!” it was too disruptive for her psyche. Lisa & Adrienne were not happy with what was happening at Camille’s but neither felt compelled to put an immediate STOP to it. It wasn’t disrupting them. They are both too grounded to let a cat fight throw them off.
    Maybe in time we’ll know the real story.

  31. Terry says:

    Glued2It:

    I think you are absolutely right: Taylor is obviously self-centered and she may indeed be a victim of child abuse. When I think about it, it’s difficult to imagine that anyone who had a bad childhood would grow up to be, as you put it, a saint. Our personalities are formed in childhood, so abuse would deform the personality. There is growing evidence about the importance of very early childhood attachment and the development of the neural pathways.

    Taylor said that she remembered her grandmother giving her a diamond as a child. With the rest of her life in turmoil, Taylor would have latched on to that precious memory and extrapolated: diamonds = safety and love. Hence her dream of living in Beverly Hills.

    As to being self-centered, it strikes me that a person who was neglected and abused could be more likely to center on the self. After all, what little or much there is would, by necessity, require attention. (That’s if the personality goes that way, as opposed to sadistic, avoidant, and so forth.)

    Taylor has a web site that shows her in all her fabulosity (sorry, I know it’s not a word, but it just suits this). She lies back under a crystal chandelier.

    What worries me is Russell. He is very cruel to Taylor, and I think she’s not quite sure how to — or even if she deserves to — defend herself. Russell certainly has issues of his own, but he’s just cruel, and that’s indefensible. I watch Taylor try to make nice, try to connect, and so forth, and Russell isn’t having anything that he cannot control or belittle or both. I detest him.

    Yet Taylor is likable. Even with the plastic surgeries and the small aspirations (living in Beverly Hills does not seem to me to be a large aspiration that will lead to fulfillment), even with the vulgar displays of spending, the posing for the cameras and so forth, I think Taylor is a fairly nice person. I don’t think I’d enjoy being her friend, but I have a feeling that she’s sweet to the friends she has.

    • glued2it says:

      Thank you, Terry, for posting the comment about Taylor’s grandmother giving her a diamond as a child. I missed hearing that in the show! Yeah, makes sense she’d latch onto that as a sign of what is good in life.

      I’m of two minds regarding Russell. Part of me thinks he’s a self-centered creep. But then I think….maybe he just doesn’t do well on TV. I’d HATE to think how my hubby would be on national TV, LOL! He’s a great guy but I fear that he’d come across as Russell for fear of OverActing! And that scene in Vegas where Russell wanted to leave the party to get something to eat – well, who can blame the guy?? I hear that those Bravo shoots take much longer than it appears to the audience and maybe he’d had ENOUGH. LOL – maybe that’s the mantra at the Russell-Taylor house – ENOUGH!

    • You two should write a blog that analyzes the behavior of the housewives. Lol. These were good comments.

      But I still disagree about Taylor. I don’t see her as a victim at all. She put a stop to the arguing at the dinner, but I don’t think that was because she was traumatized, I think she stopped it because she was getting called out for instigating with Camille behind the scenes. She did the same thing in NY when Kim tried to call her out, “Don’t make me go Oklahoma on your ass.”

      At her daughters birthday party I thought she was nasty to Russel. He was clearly uncomfortable in that setting, and she looked angry that he was not playing the role of perfect social husband at her perfect party.
      In Vegas Taylor tried to act like “Poor me, Russel made me leave the party” But how late was it? Didn’t they go to a concert? He was probably hungry and tired and wanted to leave. I don’t see the crime there.
      I picture Taylor like a bridezilla 24/7. It’s her life and it has to be perfect and anyone who gets in the way of her perfectness is gonna get it.

      I think Taylor LOVES playing the victim. It’s just another way for her to get attention. Russel seems like a regular guy who doesn’t like all this flashy showy social climbing stuff.
      I didn’t like him in the first episode when he called Taylor’s business “little” or whatever he said. I thought that was mean and condescending. But I’m not as bothered by it anymore. What business does she own? We’ve never seen her in an office. She wants resect for her business, but all she does all day is shop and plan parties.
      In Vegas she described how she “went after him” when she saw him. I don’t think she fell in love with him, I think he was just the first step in her plan to get to Beverley Hills. I’m sure a friend told her he was loaded and that’s why she chased him the way she did.
      I still think Taylor is a selfish gold digger.

      Of course I could be totally wrong. But this is the impression I get so far.

    • Sangfroid says:

      I don’t remember, and don’t want to open the 37 tabs it would take for me to find out (I’m determined to reorganize the cabinets).
      If anyone remembers off the top of their head, did she describe her abuse anywhere? Psychological, physical, etc.?

      • Tuzentswurth says:

        I think all she said was that she saw her mother being the victim of abuse and I don’t know if she meant a boyfriend beat her mother or just yelled at her mother ( and wouldn’t buy mom diamonds and move her to Bev-er-lee, I know, bad joke).
        I’m not sure that I buy Taylor’s whole victim of terrible abuse story. I think her idea of abuse might be different from mine.
        Russell was hard for me to figure out but I’m starting to think from what I’ve learned that he is just not a nice person, a scammer and someone that Taylor looked at and saw $$$$$.

        Click to access securities_fraud.pdf

        His sneaky looks and tactics make more sense to me now.

      • As far as I can remember she said that one of her earliest memories was of someone “waging an attack on her mother” while she was wearing blue footed pajamas. That was the most detail I ever heard. She talked about the abuse a few times and in a couple different interviews on the show without ever saying exactly what it was. That’s one of the things that makes her story sound fake to me. She reminds me of Michaele Salahi talking about the white house dinner “Well… it’s a big event, and it’s confidential… and, uh, it’s the white house state dinner.”
        And just like Michaele suddenly revealed her secret MS that no one knew about, Taylor suddenly revealed her secret abuse that no one knew about.
        The Armstrongs just give me a real Salami vibe. The ditzy “victim” blonde and the creepy weird husband.
        Oh and the biggest thing for me – I really can’t get over the fact that Taylor kept her abuse a secret from everyone in her life until she finally decided to reveal her story (without any actual details) in front of a television crew and a room full of strangers. I’m sure everyone deals with trauma differently, and I’m no psychologist (although sometimes I like to pretend) but I just don’t see that being realistic behavior of someone who was genuinely abused.

        • Tuzentswurth says:

          Spot on!
          You are more of a psychologist than some who claim to have actual credentials (won’t mention any names, ZZZZ).
          Did I just fall asleep?

        • Sangfroid says:

          Thanks, I have been resisting the urge to make a snarky comment about Taylor’s view of abuse vs what most of us would consider abuse.
          Glad to know that I am not alone in my perception of the situation. Maybe Taylor and Michaela (sp?) can hit the road and do a fund raiser together.
          Fears and Tears promoting our Careers Tour 2011.

        • Daisy says:

          I also think Taylor is the BH version of M. Salami, I like Russell a lot more than Mr. Salami.

  32. glued2it says:

    Another thing that helps Taylor’s story of abuse ring true for me besides the kind of marriage she has with Russell and the way she stood up and yelled ENOUGH! at the dinner party is that she has been helping at the shelter for 6 years. To be that involved at a shelter for 6 years obviously shows it has meaning for her. If this was ONLY about her getting personal attention, I think her speech would have been very smooth and she’d have gone on & on about how the shelter benefitted from all her time & benevolent work & it wouldn’t have survived w/out all her money & help. And she would have invited ALL the RH’s to attend.

    To me, she truly seemed unnerved about the idea of talking about the abuse publicly but was willing to do it for the shelter. (And I agree, I don’t think she herself was directly abused, but grew up in an abusive situation where her mother was the one being attacked, but that also has its repercussions.)

    Yes, Taylor is extremely SELF-CENTERED and very INSECURE. No doubt about that! But I think that’s why she latched onto the idea of Camille being insecure. It helps her feel less secure to imagine a woman like Camille not having it all together either. Taylor’s definitely a mess, but I think there’s some hope for her. (I hope!)

    • glued2it says:

      Oh, and even though Taylor’s face looks like Mt Rushmore (all jammed together) and even though she has a bunch of ISSUES – I’d still rather watch Taylor on screen than Kim! Now, Kim seems like she’s probably a very nice woman but HOLY MOLEY she is sooo awkward on the show! Taylor at least seems like she should be on the show. For what it is. And what she is.

  33. glued2it says:

    One thing that makes it very hard to talk about these RH shows (and I think someone might have already pointed this out on one of the blogs) is that there are TWO competing criteria on how to judge the shows and the women.
    For me, it goes like this:
    First – I want to be ENTERTAINED! THat’s why I’m spending an hour of my day/week watching the stupid show. And that’s why I get so bothered by KKB and Kim, because I can’t be entertained by total wacky neediness, lol (though some of their scenes can be entertaining, too many are just painful to watch).

    But Second – since these shows are supposed to be about REAL housewives, I tend to judge them as if I knew them as REAL housewives. And that’s a whole different POV. I get involved in their lives and then I wonder how true is all this crap?? Some of the women I’d love to have as friends, wouldn’t mind switching lives with for a while, find things they do to be admirable, etc. And yet, how much is really real??? Hard to judge when you hear conflicting stories in the news and elsewhere.

    Next time I hear one of these RH’s bitch about their problems, I’ll be tempted to yell back at them, “Hey! At least you don’t have to watch yourself on TV like we (us??) ADDICTS do!! Now get your act together and ENTERTAIN US, okay??” Ha!

  34. Terry says:

    Hey Guys!

    Wow! It’s fascinating how Taylor and Russell elicit different opinions from us. I’m reading a book about psychopathy and the author’s salient point is that psychopaths, if intelligent and skilled, are excellent at masking their true intentions. They fool people and they con people — and, if intelligent, they’re good at it.

    So anyone here could be right; or perhaps no one is and the truth is very different from what we have gleaned from a few hours of television.

    The only assessment I feel fairly certain about is Camille’s: I see her as histrionic, with a good dose of narcissism.

    Taylor: RCH could be right; she might be playing a part. Glued2It and I disagree. Time will tell — maybe.

    I remember wondering for a long time about Kelly Bensimon’s hold on reality. Without knowing exactly what ails Kelly, after a couple of seasons, it’s clear to me that she is delusional. Some people think it’s drugs, some think it’s schizoaffective personality disorder (my favorite!), and some people think she’s just self-centered and rather mean.

    Russell: Glued2It gives him a pass; I see him as cruel and controlling. I’ve seen other opinions relating to Asperger’s. Who knows?

    About judging these women as real housewives. Glued2It, I respectfully disagree with you. The lifestyles of these groups of women are not standard, they’re aspirational (or repulsive, according to your POV).

    Most real housewives I know (and I include myself) don’t own numerous houses — or even one grand house. We don’t shop for chocolate shoes, go to Broadway openings, aspire to visit the Playboy Mansion, have our own personal trainers and our own house gays, nannies, chefs, maids, etc.

    If these were ordinary housewives, we’d all fall asleep watching them. My own days are boring when seen from the outside: I shop at the supermarket, I organize the closet, I get a coffee as a treat.

    These women rarely do anything housewifey on screen, but that’s why we love to watch. They’re unusual. Their lives are aspirational. And, because those featured are women who would allow cameras into their lives, they fall into the spectrum of either narcissism or lack of self-awareness or both.

    I really like the housewives shows and find in them insight into abnormal psychology, but clearly, I feel better about myself after I watch and notice that I’m not obsessed with money or have the plastic surgeon on speed dial or speak badly about my friends.

    • Sangfroid says:

      Terry you have made good points and I agree with many of them.
      However, I would really like to see an ordinary day in the life of a wealthy housewife.
      Someone who loves her husband and children, puts them first, does not have a product to schill, and has a real relationship with her parents and siblings.
      I’d like see the running of the household. I want to see the differences, but I don’t want to constantly watch them, “jump the shark”
      Even the life of a middle income housewife in a different region would interest me. 🙂
      I live in the south in the suburbs of a large metropolis. I go to the grocery once a week. do my laundry at home and park the car in my very own garage. Therefore the life of any Manhattanite (read this as city dweller) would be different and of interest. Maybe not as exciting as the plastic fame-tastic wives but still of interest.
      Sorry if this is disjointed, the writing has been interrupted by the running of this household. The inmates here want to eat several times a day and for some reason they are expecting me to provide meals!

  35. glued2it says:

    Terry: “About judging these women as real housewives. Glued2It, I respectfully disagree with you. The lifestyles of these groups of women are not standard…”

    No, I don’t mean to say they’re AVERAGE housewives. Far from it! But I’m talking about it being entertainment v. being real. It’s not completely real and it’s not completely fake – unlike regular TV programs. So, I see them from 2 different vantage points.

  36. Terry says:

    Hey Sangfroid,

    You’re in luck. I’m a housewife who lives in Manhattan and I’m fairly ordinary. Here’s a little summary of my boring life.

    I live in a small apartment, as do most people in New York who are not very, very rich. Space is an issue here, probably the biggest problem we have.

    I used to work downtown in the Deutsche Bank building — the one that they finally took down this week after ten years of figuring out the mold issue. My family and I use the subways and buses; we rent a car occasionally if we travel to the doctor’s in Westchester or go for a weekend somewhere.

    The downside of the lack of space is the proximity of things. I walk virtually most everywhere I need to for my housekeeping duties: the market, the dry cleaner, etc. Like most in Manhattan, we don’t have a washer/dryer, so I use the laundromat. Since I’m epically lazy, that occurs about once a month. That means I have a month’s worth of underwear, sheets, towels and so forth.

    I go to the market about once a week, the rest I do as needed. My stepsons are grown and in their own apartments now and I see them every couple of weeks or so. When they come over, I like to put a variety of cheeses out and they love that.

    I no longer work because I volunteered in the WTC clean-up effort and was exposed to toxins and got sick. I’m far better now. When I can’t use the subway, the city provides me with transportation for the disabled, and that’s how I get to my myriad doctors’ appointments.

    We go to the opera and the symphony a few times a season. We used to go to the movies more but it’s gotten so expensive that it’s easier to wait and enjoy them in our own home. I’m not a big shopping fan and own a few clothes only — and they’re all I need. My husband is the clotheshorse in the family but it makes him happy, so I don’t let it bother me. I’m actually less concerned with the spending and more with the accumulation of things that don’t fit in our apartment. We like to go out to dinner and we do that about once a week. A few times a year we’ll treat ourselves to an expensive restaurant.

    For my own fun: I have a coffee out almost every day, I go to the library to stock up once a week. We have a cat who is our own Jiggy: she’s a calico and she’s the queen of the house.

    We don’t go to the Hamptons and you know why if you’ve watched RHONYC. Instead, we prefer Cape Cod and the Catskills. But 25 years ago, when it was just the beach, the Hamptons was a nice place to go.

    I mentor a teenage girl who will be the first in her family to go to college and she makes me very happy. I’m in a book club. I paint bad paintings for fun. I have a “gay husband” who is my version of Cedric, but he lives upstairs, not with me.

    That’s it. It’s a very ordinary life, although I can see that putting a car and a yard into the equation would change things considerably. I like not having to worry about those things: what’s a boon to some seems like work to me, so I guess city life suits my lazy self. My husband is not into cars or sports, and he loves walking around in the streets, so I guess the city life suits him. Probably the only thing I’d change, if I could, would be that I’d have a bigger apartment. That’s it. Otherwise, life is good.

    • glued2it says:

      Thanks for a glimpse into your REAL RH life in NY, Terry! And even though I wasn’t there nor anyone I love, thank you for volunteering at the WTC site. I’m glad you’re doing better than you had been.

      My life is not the exact opposite but Im definitely a suburban RH – we live in the blue ridge mts and have a fairly drama free life, lol. We’ve got our house up for sale, so it is usually “viewer ready” everyday. I could have a TV crew come in but the viewers would die of boredom watching us, LOL!

      • Terry says:

        Wow! I love the mountains! Am I happy or sad that you are selling your house?

        I don’t envy your keeping a “viewer ready” house. I’m a neat person, but my house has to get some loving from me to be ready for company.

        I’m not sure I’d be bored watching you; actually, a little documentary about the real housewives of wherever might be interesting. How does she apportion her time? Her money? Biggest headaches? Produced, of course, by “Frontline” so that it’s got value.

        Years ago, Studs Terkel wrote “Working” out of interviewing all kinds of folk. It’s really a great book and makes you think a lot. Why not something about real housewives?

        • glued2it says:

          Terry,
          we’ll be staying in the same general area. We live in a mid-sized town (city approx 100,000, surrounding county approx 150,000) that is surrounded by the beautiful blue ridge mountains. Every window in my house has a great view, even the bathrooms, lol.
          We’re only selling our house because we want to downsize – 1 child out, 1 child nearly out! We don’t need the space (4 bdrm/2.5 bath) and we aren’t home & garden people who love digging in the yard and planting stuff. We don’t use the pool anymore – the pool and the landscaping around it is beautiful and I absolutely enjoyed it for most of the yrs we’ve lived here but the last 2 yrs have felt like more work less fun. The house just doesn’t suit us anymore! And personally, I think the house itself wants us to move and wants another family here with small children and big dogs! (Just feels that way, can’t explain).

          But it’s a buyer’s market right now. We got an offer that just wasn’t high enough for us, we countered but they walked away. Maybe our negotiations would have been interesting for RH viewers because I got pretty heated in those, lol. I’m a motivated seller but not a desperate seller (guess that means I’m NOT a desperate housewife, lol) and I’m not going to give my house away, regardless of what’s going on in the market. I don’t HAVE to move.
          Part of me wants to make a video for potential buyers that they can view when they come to the house. It’ll take all of 10 sec where I make it CRYSTAL CLEAR to them that even though it’s a buyer’s market, this is MY house until I get a decent offer, Capice?!
          We’ll see. Watch What Happens! LOL

          • glued2it says:

            Btw, we have priced the house according to the market, but I’m telling you what – those buyers out there are cutting even those prices to shreds! And I can’t say that I blame them. But I’m not going there. I’ll stay here if that’s what happens and I’ll sell another year.
            (Confession – I don’t actually do that much work on the pool, that’s mostly DH’s territory. But it takes up time & energy & extra money and I’d rather just join a pool club and not watch him deal with it.)

      • Terry says:

        PS: Thank you for thanking me. It was an honor.

    • Sangfroid says:

      Thank you for that Terry!
      I enjoyed reading your mini –day in the life– tremendously and it does not sound the least bit boring to me.
      As Sardonica said, ” I would watch it play out on TV any day.”
      I too have some questions if you don’t mind. How do you carry a weeks worth of groceries, how do you get furniture into your apartment and have you always lived in the city?
      Sorry that you were exposed to toxins in the WTC clean up, I’m sure the mold in the Deutsche Bank did not help matters but I am glad to hear that your health is improving.
      Hmm, now where in suburbia can I find a gay husband ?

      • Terry says:

        Groceries:
        The check-out guy comes with the cart and carries the groceries up 1.5 flights of stairs. He’s buff.

        Furniture:
        Doors are the same size in apartments as they are in houses: generally 30in wide for interior doors and 36in wide for the front door. Getting furniture in is no problem unless it’s huge and doesn’t fit in the stairwell or elevator. (I had to return the first couch I ever bought in NYC because it would not fit in the elevator. Lesson learned.)

        Gay Husband:
        Oh, Gurrrrrrl! You need your gay husband!

        City Life:
        I’ve lived in huge cities and then in small towns (pop. 40,000 in the middle of nowhere). I prefer town life but the big job and big bucks were here, so here we are. In the end, the city is one big town anyway. You have your routines and do your stuff and run into people and it’s all the same.

        How about a little vignette from you guys? I’d love to compare notes. I wonder whether the big difference is the vehicle. How do you guys manage having to use a car all the time? Do you find the car a burden in any way?

        • glued2it says:

          Are you kidding? I LOVE driving my car! Love getting on the road and going!! I love finding new ways to get to work or wherever I’m going. I LOVE driving through neighborhoods and checking out houses. I LOVE taking a drive out to the country to get fresh produce. The only time I don’t love driving in my car is if I’ve been doing a million errands, driving all over town in stop&go traffic and I’m tired. But that’s only once in a while.

          Yes, it does cost money to fill the tank and take the thing in to have the oil changed and repairs when necessary – like when your teenager drives the car into the back of pickup truck on her way to school or when you’re other daughter backs it into the garage doors cuz she thought when she was looking thru the garage door windows that the door was actually UP! Yeah, we had to buy 2 new garage doors for that accident (so our house wouldn’t look like the Munsters lived there). And we made sure the new doors didn’t have windows and were made of steel not wood!
          But to me, it’s all worth it. Now, if I lived in a big city like NY, I doubt I’d want a car.

        • glued2it says:

          Terry said:
          “The check-out guy comes with the cart and carries the groceries up 1.5 flights of stairs. He’s buff.”
          Oh yeah. I’ll watch this. Uh-huh. And I’ll watch him each week when you shop. I’m thinking we’ll need views from the front, side, and rear. Thank you.

  37. Sardonica says:

    Thank you for the story, Terry. It was very interesting and I would watch it play out on TV anyday.
    I am wondering… where do you keep your months worth of laundry and weeks worth of groceries since space is so limited?A
    I see you also feed people. Please check out the good advice I gave to Sangfroid in above post. Haven’t you ever read Oliver Twist? Feeding them only makes them grow bigger and rebel. Also they come back for more.

    • Terry says:

      Hilarious! I’ll remember to stop feeding the natives!

      In answer to your questions:
      The laundry for a month fits into two big laundry bags. The food goes into the cupboards and the fridge. So now I got to thinking how it’s possible for our stuff to fit into the small space when my friends in the burbs need huge pantries and do the laundry a lot.

      The difference for our family is this: 1) We eat out a lot. I’m not saying dinner out as much as that my husband gets lunch at the Halal food cart near his office, which is pretty much what I did when I worked. We have small meals in the house, so I guess that’s how the food fits. For example, if I get a roast chicken it lasts a few days. 2) We don’t have that much laundry. My own clothes consist of wash-and-wear leggings and tops, or dresses in the summer. So I guess I do laundry in my house, but in the bathroom, overnight, so I hadn’t thought about it that way. My husband has the dry cleaner for the shirts and suits. The rest of the time, he wears jeans and such, and those, with the sheets, comprise the majority of the laundry.

      When I first moved here, a friend taught me to do an errand before going home. For example: get the milk and then go home. Now that I’m breaking it down, I don’t go to the grocery store much, but I do go to the corner store at least once a day and pick up something.

      I guess doing little bits has stopped being noticeable to me by now.

      How do you apportion your time for housekeeping and laundry and grocery shopping? Do you have a routine?

  38. Sardonica says:

    My routine:
    Get up feed cat/dog/crack habit. Oops, I meant make coffee-huzz / tea-me. Kick his a** out the door *kiss kiss* bye bye… drive safely. Eat oatmeal and read book while eating
    Check RCH blog…then check local papers online. Obits 1st in case I died and don’t know it. If I am listed I plan on not doing any chores that day or thereafter
    Shower and dress.
    Monday…clean the house. I am a neat freak. 3-4 hours. Afternoon… read or get out of house all the while checking RCH blog. Essentially I goof off. No gym because of housework. Do not want to overexercise. Dinner out on Monday night because I slaved away cleaning the house for 3-4 hrs *boo hoo* My back hurts dear huzz. Me want food out. If he is nice I may allow him to touch my knee or elbow in bed that night.
    Tuesday…same AM eat /blog /obit check and grocery shopping. Bring groceries home, put them away, etc. Phone time! and of course recheck RCH blog for something to read while I eat lunch. Afternoon…goof off. Gym, etc. and plan dinner. I enjoy cooking so a lot of time goes into the shopping, planning, prep. We have been vegetarians for 2 yrs and I love to find or try new recipes to keep it interesting and tasty. Ponder meaning of life. Drink as much as I can get away with without being perceived as an alcoholic. Huzz gets to 3rd base if he is looking good enough through wine goggles.
    Wednesday. Start one of many loads of laundry which is odd because I am only washing for 2 ppl but the river does freeze over in the winter and my laundry rock is getting worn out, ya know? Afternoon, check RCH blog and go out to goof off. Ponder meaning of social interaction. Start plans for ‘White Party’ in Feb. Gravitate towards jug ‘o wine late afternoon. Cook dinner. Huzz may get to 2nd base if I am feeling magnaminous. Look up meaning of word magnaminous , rehydrate and go to sleep
    Thursday. More laundry and check RCH blog. Ponder meaning of RH and why I enjoy the franchise. Afternoon… goof off. Option within house or outside of house. Depends on the weather and who is home from work to goof off with. Start plans for ‘Red Party’ in March. Sometime huzz can get to 3rd base on Thursday night if he buys me something fancy for no reason.
    Friday. Hairdresser and errands and of course checking RCH blog. Afternoon. Goof off. Ponder my hair and styling products and the meaning behind enchantment with them.Watch and do in depth study of RH on DVR. Ponder drinking during the afternoon so as to better enjoy beloved ‘RH and me’ time. Dinner out due to overworked hands and fingers using pause / playback buttons on remote. Maybe a homerun for huzz if the restaurant and/or RH was good.
    Weekends vary to some degree especially if people decide to visit and interfere with my pondering and goofing off which becomes ‘our’ pondering and goofing offtime. Ugh, go figure. We try to discourage such behavior. Sat. 1st of month we spin the color wheel for monthly party theme.
    Saturday. Depends on weather and what is going on. Right now I tried on clothes for an event Tues but what I want to wear is too large because of this veghead thing and presently I am pouting by typoing in RCH blog. Later (which means about 1/2 hr ago ) I have errands to run ( now I am putting of tailor or shopping for an outfit for Tues. I especially am whiney and tired today as opposed to the usual whiney and tired.) Tonight dinner out with some friends. Presently thinking I may cancel. Usually we go away for the day because I have pondered about it all week and am bored with goofing off at home. I like a new goof off location on weekends
    Sunday. Church… I am so holy of course and dinner huzz and I make together. Sunday afternoon… now get this… a… a … nap! I love quality Sunday afternoon nap after dinnertime. Then we wake up and watch TV for about an hour. Right now I have him hooked on Dr Drew Rehab. We even have discussion group. I love how I have managed to ‘gay’ him up to at least one of my shows. Still working on him watching RH and discussion group.Ponder drinking and what Dr Drew would have to say about my pondering of it. Sunday night we ( huzz and me, not Dr Drew and me… Oh! must ponder that someday next week!…’ hey, Shelley, toss me a capo’ )… work up a new guitar and/or piano’ thing’ . Also he makes me sing and if it is some ‘hillbilly / blues’ type song he makes me sing with a drawwlll . Whats up with that? We really suck, well I do, he is kinda good, but it is fun. We discuss plans for ‘Blue Party’ in April. Sometimes I let him ‘feel me up’ on Sunday night too, just cuz I enjoy it and love him
    P.S. I tried to clean up the typos as best I could but the husband is yapping at me to get going. He has been waiting for me while I typo this out and I have been telling him I will be there in a moment …I am commenting on RCH blog. Ain’t he the enabler, now ain’t he?

    • Terry says:

      Wow! You are incredibly witty. I wonder whether you missed a career in comedy writing.

      Your routine seems pretty nice to me and your DH seems great. I love that he’s so interested in all the bases; my friends and I compared notes one day and most husbands had lost interest in such a way that the hws were the ones asking for it. Alas, that includes me.

      I’m wondering about the amount of laundry you do and am assuming that you guys wear things that have to be put in the washer, which is different at our house. Else, I assume we’d have a lot of laundry as well.

      Actually, I’m remembering the first couple years I was here in NYC and I DID have more laundry then, but I guess it was because I had work clothes that required the washer/dryer. Also, I used to spend quite a bit on dry cleaning. Over the years, I must have learned to think about how difficult things are to wash and dry, because that is certainly a big part of the decision whenever I buy a new piece of clothing. Actually, I have a uniform of sorts: its thermal running pants and shirt (good for all weathers) and they drip-dry in the bathroom. The paints are the same as leggings. I have about pairs and they’re excellent because they take up little room, are easy to pack, and easy to keep clean. My other uniform is summer dresses, and they are also easy to wash and so forth.

      Right now I’m wondering whether Taylor will ditch Russell. It’s none of my business, but I think she should put him out on the curb.

    • CAgirl says:

      Sardonica–you are hilarious!!! I would rather move in with you than Lisa–can I be your Cedric??

      • Sardonica says:

        CAgirl
        More than that you can be my Giggy and I will buy you really cute clothes and carry you around all day. How do you feel about a ponytail atop your head and matching outfits for both of us? Your preferred color and kibble?

  39. Sardonica says:

    Dear RCH
    Would you like me to start paying rent on space here?

    • Terry says:

      Yeah, we’ve taken over her blog with our exchange. RCH: do we need to pay rent?

      • Sardonica says:

        Terry. Lease or buy space here? We need to nogatiate
        re: clothing
        Oddly enough I also call my clothing ‘uniforms’ At home both of us wear jeans and comfy warm/cool tops. A clean pair everyday. Told you I was freaky about clean neat and I am also into nice smelly stuff. I change the sheets on bed once a week, most times twice. Odd? Most likely but I love to crawl in a sweet smelly bed at night. I love to sleep! Also a fresh towel every shower, not to mention something I should NOT use…dish towels. Sorry, I know they are germ carriers, whatever… but it is how I cook. I keep grabbing clean ones. I would think I was ocd about ‘clean’ except I only clean things that matter to me, a small indulgence such as a clean sheets at night, or a soft fresh pair of jeans every morning. Socks…my oh my! I also liked leggings but have gone back to the jean thing after many years of leggings and big shirts. I am presently working on my 3rd mid life crisis, I think possibly 4th? with jeans, tees and denim shirts 100% cotton. Dress up clothes go to cleaners but I have been trying to cut back on things such as ‘dress up clothes as much as possible lately and I dont like dry cleaning smells or more importantly bills. To be honest here I love doing laundry. I confess *sobbing* I love to sort the colors and I also like to iron wtf? you say? Hi, my name is Sardonica and I am a laundraholic A very sensual experience for me. The look, the feel, the smell of fresh laundy. The towels all neatly piled up in the linen closet. The folded corners in a row..mmmmm. I should have been in the military but it would’t have worked out what with me and my pacifist attitude and all”. Why as I type the kitchen curtains are crying out to me, ‘please, wash us!’ The towels however are at peace. It is the little things in life such as these that get me through life or drive me to the big jug ‘o wine.

        • Terry says:

          Hey Missy!

          I feel you. I like doing laundry if I’m at a friend’s house. Not so much at the laundromat but I know how you feel. I’m planning on putting a washer/dryer (it’s an all-in-one thing that fits under the counter, like in Europe) in my kitchen as soon as I renovate.

          Also, I like doing dishes. I like things that have to do with water EXCEPT mopping.

          I now see why you do so much laundry: jeans and sweaters are very bulky. Comfy as hell though and an excellent uniform. My husband will wear his jeans twice, sometimes three times before putting them in the wash, but I do have clean leggings every day. I change sheets once a week only, but I’d do it daily if someone else did the work. I LOVE clean sheet day. I do feel your love for laundry. I do.

          I’m not sure I’d be able to cope with a big house the way you ladies do. It seems like a lot to do and a lot that I don’t know how to do, since I’ve lived in apartments my entire adult life. Gutters? What? Then salt for the driveway and such? On the other hand, the luxury of all that room seems fantastic.

          Also, I never had to do car pools but many of my friends did and I can see that it’s brutal. That is a definite advantage in the city, since kids take buses and subways here with no problem. When they’re little, we can’t just let them loose in the yard the way you guys can, so there is the expense of the indoor playgrounds, which are a must in the cold or in the middle of muggy summers.

          Also a problem here in NYC are schools. I’ve had friends move solely because they couldn’t afford tuition. But most people I know have their kids at least in parochial school if not in private schools and then sleep-away preps.

          Most of my friends arrange things like this: private school, gym membership, indoor playground membership, public transportation for all except for out of town. Some people keep a car, but it’s a lot of money, so it varies. We do not; we rent when we need or want to. I like driving, but don’t love it as you ladies do. And since I’m epically lazy, I like that the bus and subway drivers do the work while I read.

    • First, yes, you all owe me rent. I didn’t tell you I’ve been keeping a running tab on all of you? I expect my checks to be in the mail asap.

      Second, should I turn these comment into a blog post? Maybe I can take your stories and then add contributions from a country wife, a southern wife, a mid western wife etc… and everyone can post about a week in their life. Friends, family, chores, responsibilities, leisure time or whatever and then we can talk about our similarities and differences in the comments.

      What do you think? Might be interesting. I already took my xanax and should really be sleeping, so if this is a stupid idea, please disregard.

      • Terry says:

        Hey RCH!

        I was just thinking last night about how something like that ought to be organized, but you already came up with the perfect thing. Good on you, particularly if you did it in your sleep.

        I would LOVE to read about the different housewives. We had exchanges about laundry, for crying out loud, and I found them mesmerizing.

        I think you could do “a week in the life” and then you could do
        “Friends, family, chores, responsibilities, leisure time or whatever and then we can talk about our similarities and differences in the comments.”

        I would add biggest worries, biggest expenditures, kids’ activities, and other items that would be of greatest concern. Also, biggest time expenditure. I’m already thinking that suburban wives drive the kids all over and that’s the biggest; the city wife (me) would put kids’ activities not in driving but in expenditures, since the kids take the bus but the activities are more costly here.

        I’m hoping you will do this. If you don’t want to, I’d like to set up a separate blog for it, but I defer to you, as it’s your idea and your blog that started this.

        • Ok cool. So I’ll think about how to set this up and I’ll put a casting call at the end of my next post. We can call it Real Housewives of the Internet or something like that. Lol.

          • Tuzentswurth says:

            Uh, yeah, my check is in the mail too. I can check in from the country, but I really try to stay drama free. It usually works, but not always.

  40. Sardonica says:

    Ermmm…my check is in the mail
    Many good ideas spring from the magical place called Xannieland. I have been enjoying reading The Bedazzling Real Lives Of Real Wives. Also we can know what to expect once we hunt down, stalk and move in with our fellow commenters. A visit to NYC…a house to put a really low offer on in the mountains just to watch the reaction of the owner! I know how to find my funtimes. If anyone is interested in washing my kitchen curtains they are welcome here. I would be pleased to share my box ‘o happy juice with any of you. Straw not included

    • glued2it says:

      Sardonica!! You are CRACKING ME UP, LOL!

      I tell you what tho – my hubby is a sweetheart and ya’ll would melt at how good he treats me. But when he’s not sweet, he’s sleeping in his recliner with the remote on his chest and the TV blaring. Not much in entertainment value!

    • Sangfroid says:

      I just washed a comforter, the kitchen curtains should be easy and I have my own straw.

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