The show starts and Bethenny is complaining. Shocker. Today she is upset because the fridge isn’t organized and Gina has too much food in there. Bethenny calls Gina a wolf like 10 times. I don’t even know if that was offensive or not because I don’t understand what that’s supposed to mean. It seemed like an odd thing to call someone.
Bryn will be crawling soon so Bethenny invites a baby proofing expert over to the house. She was probably expecting to buy some plugs for the sockets and call it a day, but the woman went around the house telling her how deadly and dangerous everything is. She tells Bethenny that she needs to get rid of the cable box, the house phone, the lamp, and the center piece on the table, and should block off her kitchen with iron bars, a padlocked entrance, and an alarm system because babies should never ever be allowed in the kitchen. I bet half of you had no idea what horrible dangerous parents you were until now. See what kind of valuable information you can learn by watching reality television?
When I was a kid I played with pots and pans and climbed on furniture so I guess it’s truly a miracle that I’m still alive today.
Bethenny decides to get rid of all her slutty lingerie because now that she has Jason locked down with a marriage certificate and a baby she see’s no need to keep things fun or interesting in the bedroom. And because she is such a good person, she donates her used underwear to Gina’s church.
Gina invites Bethenny and Jason to attend a ceremony at her church to receive a blessing for Bryn. They agree to go, but were caught off guard when the church members ambushed them with a sneak attack baptism. I suspect that Gina wanted to feel important at her church by bringing these famous people to have their child baptised there on national television, and she figured she could get away with it by insisting it was just a blessing. I guess a baptism technically is a blessing, but it’s also a baptism. I don’t know how Gina could continue to deny it even after the woman on the microphone clearly said they were “baptizing her into the church of Jesus Christ”. Gina is a sneaky little liar and I think it’s time they kick her ass to the curb.
Although… the so called Bishop was wearing a Rabbi’s robes with pictures of a Sabbath dinner on the back, so maybe they’re all just a little confused over there.
Because Bethenny likes to discuss everything to death, now we have to talk about the baptism incident for the rest of the show. She discusses it with Jason, she discusses it with Jason and Gina, she discusses it with her therapist, and we get to hear the same story over and over about how it made her feel which of course leads to a discussion about her mother never being there for her, ever. Not even when she had chicken pox. Did you know that Bethenny had a horrible mother who didn’t love her? Did you know that? Did ya? Did ya? Bad things happen in life. It sucks. But Bethenny is 40 years old now, she seriously needs to learn how to move the fuck on.
Bethenny and Jason are getting ready for Halloween. They went to the costume store and tried on a some clown outfits that were pretty funny, but in the end decided to go with the stupidest Halloween costumes ever. Pandas. For both of them. They both wore the exact same costume. So lame.
Bethenny explained that even though her and Jason wanted to be clowns, they’re a family now which means they have to be pandas. I think her Skinny Girl diet might be affecting her brain because that made no sense. Bethenny was acting like this holiday was all about Bryn and what Bryn wants, but I think it was pretty clear that the entire thing was about Bethenny and what she wanted for her tv show and her paparazzi photo op. Babies don’t care about Halloween!
I don’t know if Bethenny was drunk or high or what at the costume store, but her behavior was very odd. She was shouting in a baby voice the whole time which was annoying enough, but when she took a flying leap into the sales ladie’s arms I was done. It was nice that she was being less of a bitch in this episode, but her behavior was just so freakin odd.
Look at the faces of the guys in the background.
Bethenny decided to play a prank on Gina with a fake spider and I love that she chose the Teresa Giudice “Betrayed by her man” Life & Style issue to do it with.
Bethenny and Jason decide to go trick-or-treating in the suburbs with their friends and do the whole “family Halloween” thing. Is it weird that I still don’t see Bethenny as a mom? I still see her as the same single girl she always was, except now she has a new assistant named Jason to follow her around and she sometimes holds a baby in place of her Birkin bag.
Since Bryn was already baptized in Gina’s church, Bethenny and Jason decide to give her a Catholic baptism as well. Bethenny choses her assistant Julie as a Godmother because she has no relatives, and I guess no real friends either. Bethenny says that Julie knew about Bryn before anyone else did. But I don’t think that’s true… I think the camera man who filmed Bethenny peeing on a stick where the first one to know about the pregnancy.
So they get Bryn baptised in an empty church with a priest who can’t remember Bethenny’s name. And they literally invited 8 people. The Godparents, grandparents, and the baby nurse. That was it. Isn’t a baptism something you’re supposed to invite your friends to? I don’t get Bethenny. She didn’t want a lot of people at the wedding, she never wants anyone to come over the house (unless they work for her), she didn’t want anyone at the baptism… but employees, camera crews, sound techs, and producers are all allowed. So it makes me wonder if she really did the baptism for Jason, or if she did it so she would have something to film for her tv show.
Afterwards they go out to eat in a big empty room. This is seriously the lamest baptism I’ve ever seen. It almost makes me miss the days of Marie Antoinette serving sushi. Jason’s mother kept fussing with Bryn while she was sleeping and Bethenny Ssshhh‘d her! I can’t imagine telling my mother in law (or any older woman, really) to ssshhhh. Great party B, sit around an empty table and be quiet. Sounds like a blast.
This episode was a little better than the others, but I’m still not loving Bethenny this season. What do you guys think? Do you still love B or is her bad attitude getting on your nerves? And what about what happened at Gina’s church? Was that a baptism or just a non baptismal blessing with water?