I’m a horrible blogger, but I’m finally catching up so here are two recaps in one. I’ll be honest, the Bethenny recaps are a little hard for me to write because I’m not really enjoying the show as much as I thought I would. I definitely liked Bethenny a lot better on Housewives. But don’t start celebrating yet Jill Zarin! Just because I’m not crazy about Bethenny’s show doesn’t mean I hate you any less. You’ll get your turn soon.
So let’s start with last week’s episode. Bethenny and her makeup artist get a good laugh out of her attending the Top 25 Most Stylish New Yorkers party. That made no sense. I guess that was supposed to be one of those “I’m still relatable even though I’m going to a red carpet event” moments. But she’s been wearing designer dresses, Louboutins, and had Birkin Bags in every color since season 1, so the whole “I don’t know how to dress myself” act seemed… well… like an act.
Bethenny’s jewelry gay comes over and she says how great it is to have a guy who just stops by with satchels of jewels. I think we should make “satchel of jewels” the new catch phrase just to piss off Kelly.
I’m not sure exactly why Bethenny needs to pay someone to put her hair in a pony tail. She couldn’t have done that herself? Really? The lady could have at least brushed her hair on the sides so that her scalp wasn’t showing. I can’t believe some of the things these Housewives pay people to do for them.
After rushing around the house like a mad woman and saying how late they were going to be to the party, they suddenly have time to stop and sit and grab a bite to eat. Napoleon Dynamite shows up and Bethenny remarks on what a coincidence it is that she suddenly see’s him everywhere she goes. Yes Bethenny, it’s called stalking… or trying to get on tv. One or the other.
I like this guy for some reason. I wouldn’t mind seeing him on the show. I never cared much for Max. Little punk.
Bethenny and Jason continue on their way to the party and Bethenny starts crying in the car because she feels like she’s in a tornado holding onto a tree branch trying not to get hit by a house or something like that. She got everything she wanted and she’s still unhappy so it’s a little hard to feel bad for her. No one is forcing her to do anything. And it’s not like she’s in the factory day and night bottling margaritas, so crying about all the things she has to do just seems silly. Especially because it appears as though she actually spends a whole lot of time at home sitting on the couch.
The next day Jason and Bethenny argue about how often they should be seeing the grandparents again. Jason doesn’t understand why he does all of Bethenny’s “things” without complaint, but every time he wants to do something it’s an argument. Easy Jason, that’s because Bethenny’s things are tv shows and fancy parties with famous people and you want to do that stuff. Your “things” are small towns and old people.
How about the way Bethenny said “Because I’m a difficult human being.” Scary, no? A little Mommy Dearest moment there.
Rachel Ray decided to give Bethenny’s assistant Julie a makeover. The camera crew arrives at the apartment and Bethenny began foaming at the mouth over the producer. He was a decent looking guy, but nothing to drool over. It was seriously ridiculous, but not in a funny, silly way. In an uncomfortable that’s enough already, you’re pushing it too far, please stop embarrassing yourself kinda way.
Then as though her behavior wasn’t bad enough, Gina the baby nurse sets her sights on the sound guy and joined in on the sexual harassment. The poor guy looked terrified. No one bothered the camera guy and he seemed to be getting a kick out of the whole thing.
Julie walks in and they surprise her with the news that she’s getting a makeover and she reacts as though they told her she was getting a new car or something. If the girl gets this excited over a trip to the salon maybe they should be giving her a life instead of a makeover.
During Julie’s hair appointment both her and Bethenny start crying. What is going on in the Frankel household? Everyone just seems way too emotional. I think Julie needs to sit in on some of those therapy sessions. Either that, or Bethenny is so awful to work for that even the smallest bit of kindness is something to cry over.
The next day it’s time for the big makeover reveal. They managed to find Julie a dress that added 10 pounds to her figure and a hair cut that added 10 years to her appearance. Between Bethenny’s pony tail and Julie’s new look I wonder if there is anyone in the beauty industry in New York who actually knows what the hell they’re doing.
Focusing on someone other than herself for once was hard, so Bethenny is happy to get to her weekly all about me session. They discuss the grandparent situation again. It’s nice that the doctor validates her feelings and all, but this is not some past issue that Bethenny needs to feel better about and move on from. This is a current issue that Bethenny and Jason need to work out together. Discussing it with Bethenny alone isn’t helping to resolve the situation and the doctor should have requested that Jason join them. But explaining to Bethenny that she needs to include other people in her decision making is probably futile, so I can understand why he didn’t even try.
You could just see Bethenny’s face light up when the doctor brought up swapping holidays. I think that only applies to families that have another extended family to swap them with, but Bethenny found her Doctor Approved excuse and she’s going to make it work for her.
Jason and Bethenny have a date night, and they pretend not to know each other as he attempts to pick her up at the bar. Bethenny says that Jason claims he had game and got all the girls before he met her, but she’s never seen any evidence of that. Uh… hello?? Didn’t he pick her up at a bar, have her pregnant and engaged within like 3 months, and doesn’t he now have a rich and famous sugar mamma who he gets him invited to all the fancy parties where he gets to hang out with famous people and have his picture taken? That’s a player if I ever met one.
Jason has some pretty good lines and the evening was going very nicely until Bethenny had to cut the fun short to freak out about spending holidays with the grandparents even though it’s summer and there are no holidays coming up any time soon.
She has issues, I get it. But enough is enough already. It’s getting annoying.
Next we’re moving on to episode 3. Bethenny was less horrible this time and didn’t cry as much, so things are looking up.
Bethenny says that Gina likes to sleep in, which you think would be the opposite of a baby nurses’ job, so Bethenny goes for a walk and brings Bryn with her. When the paparazzi spot her and start snapping pictures she approaches a man on the street and asks if she can walk with him so he can hide her and her baby from the cameras…. even though she’s being followed by cameras… and her babies’ face was all over every gossip magazine days after her birth. The man didn’t know who she was and asked what her name was. Lol.
Bethenny and Jason visit a local liquor store to talk with the cashier about Skinny Girl Margaritas and how well they’re selling. Bethenny is having problems meeting the demands for her margaritas and she wants Jason to help with her business. He doesn’t look too excited about working “with” her. I totally get it. I wouldn’t want to work “with” her either.
The next day Bethenny invited over Napoleon Dynamite who’s real name is actually Nick. I wish I had a friend like him to bring me bags full of sandwiches and deserts and other goodies. Bethenny decides that she wants Nick to write a food blog for her, but I searched online and couldn’t find it so I don’t know if that ever happened or not. He does have a personal blog which you can read here if you’re interested.
It’s Gina’s birthday and Bethenny takes her to get a pedicure (either I am completely butchering this word, or it’s not in the spell check dictionary) as a birthday present. Gina knows that her time in the Frankel house is coming to an end now that baby Bryn is getting older and she cooked up a sob story about her ex husband stealing her house and all her money. Bethenny fell for it hook, line, and sinker. And cried, of course. I don’t trust this baby nurse for a second.
This show is making me hungry.
Max got fired. No loss there imo.
But I did find it interesting that when Max arrived at the apartment Julie gave him a hug and said “It’s nice to see you.” An odd greeting for two people who supposedly work together, no? It appears as though Max hasn’t been working for Bethenny recently, and she just called him in to fire him on camera. Nice.
Bethenny and Jason attended some party, I’m not really sure what it was for. Something about mommy’s and baby products. Jason was getting along with everyone and making friends and seemed to be having a great time. Bethenny was abrasive and unfriendly and dragged him out early because Paris Hilton’s book on how to be a socialite says that you should never be the last one to leave a party.
Next Bethenny and Nick go on a food crawl. For a natural food chef, Bethenny sure does seem to eat a lot of unhealthy non homemade food. I like Nick, and I wish Bethenny was nicer to him. When her snarky-ness was directed at Housewives it was funny, when it’s directed at nice guys like Nick it just makes her look like a bitch. Their afternoon seemed to be going well until Nick said that he doesn’t eat red meat and then Bethenny seemed to lose interest in him.
She managed to lose him in the crowd, and once he was out of ear shot she called Jason and asked him to come join them since Nick’s refusal to eat pork was killing her food buzz. When Jason arrives they order some gourmet slushies which they add booze to, and Bethenny asks Nick for the 685th time if he drinks alcohol. I don’t know if that’s her OCD or she really just doesn’t pay attention when people talk to her.
Next it’s Gina’s birthday party and I’m staring at this very delicious looking cake and now I’m headed to the kitchen for a snack. The show has driven me to eat. I think this is Bethenny’s plan. She’s going to make everyone hungry while watching her show so that they eat and gain weight and then we’ll have to buy her diet books and workout DVD’s to lose it.
And I’m so far behind that I just realized there is already a new episode out, so I guess I’ll go watch that now.