Teen Mom – Episode 5

If you are looking to laugh, skip this post. Because this show is fucking depressing. I’m only doing these recaps because if I don’t write my thoughts down here I’m going to end up telling them to a therapist. That’s how fucked up this show is.

I totally changed my mind about Kailyn. Yes, it would be nice if she closed her mouth once in a while and didn’t always look as though she’s just taken a handful of xanax, but I’m not going to be judgmental anymore, this girl’s life sucks.

While Kailyn was at school trying to do something for her future, Jo decided that it would be a good idea to tell his dad what an asshole he thinks he is and get himself kicked out of the house. Ok, fair enough, he can go stay at his aunt’s house. No biggie. But surly Kailyn is still welcome to stay there because that’s her home and they’re her family, right? Wrong. Ok, but even if they don’t want Kailyn staying there without Jo, they surly they didn’t kick their grandchild out of the house too, right? Nope. Kicked the baby out too. Jo didn’t even break the news to her nicely either. He called up when she got out of school and was like, “hey I took our son with me to stay with my aunt in New Jersey, good luck finding a place to stay tonight.”

I thought Jo’s parents were doing the right thing by letting Kailyn live in their house, but seeing as how they’re so quick to throw her out at a moments notice, they aren’t looking so nice anymore. Wasn’t it just 3 episodes ago that Jo’s mom was telling Kailyn how she would never turn her back on her? Way to keep your word lady. Like Kailyn hasn’t been let down enough in her life. Kailyn stays at her girlfriend’s house for the night and the next day she meets with Jo to discuss their future. She’s obviously stressed out over this situation, but no worries, Jo has it all figured out. He’s going to get them an apartment in New Jersey and all Kailyn has to do is quit her job, change schools mid semester, leave her friends and whatever support system she has, and start her life over. See, getting kicked out of the parents house is no big deal.



This sums up my feeling about Chelsea: Ugh. She’s supposed to be studying because she’s totally not going to make the deadline to get into beauty school, but since she knows that daddy will always be there to pay for everything and working isn’t really a necessity for her, she goes to get pedicures instead of doing her school work. While she was getting her nails painted, daddy randomly (and with no interference from production) decided to head over to her house and snoop around until it becomes clear that the scum bag ex boyfriend has moved into the house he pays for. He’s not happy about this, but Chelsea reassures him that everything will be fine because her and bff Meghan drafted up a list of rules that Adam has agreed to follow, so it’s all going to be pink roses and sunshine.

Here is the list of things Adam agreed to:
1) Don’t treat your child and girlfriend like total shit
2) Don’t have sex with other women (should have been covered by #1, but Chelsea felt that it needed to be clarified)
3) Don’t treat Meghan like shit
4) Get a job instead of playing video games all day.
That’s it. That’s the list that.
Good luck with that Chelsea.



Leah got smacked in the face big time by reality and finally realized that being a stay at home mom with two kids living in a double wide trailer when you’re 18 years old isn’t tons of fun. She wants to go to school and have a career, but her twin girls are a full time job. She complains that she can’t leave the house because Corey doesn’t know how to take care of the girls, but on 16 and Pregnant he stayed alone with them all the time while she went out and partied, so I don’t know how he’s suddenly getting away with pretending that he doesn’t know what to do. I suspect that Corey just likes Leah to stay at home and not go out because there are still a lot of trust issues there. I gotta give Leah credit though, she seems to have grown a lot up since her slip up with the ex boyfriend. But time will tell.



I feel so bad for Janelle. This poor fucking girl. Yes, I know, she’s far from perfect. But this girl is a product of her environment. What her mother is doing to her is abuse, and the fact that she feels completely justified in her behavior even while cameras are rolling is concerning. Janelle wants to go to school so that she can have a shot at a decent future. But she can’t get financial aid as a single mom since her mother has custody of Jace, and she can’t get financial aid as a dependant because her mother (if you can even call her that) refuses to give her the correct paper work or sign the forms the school is asking for. Every time she takes a step forward her mother puts a road block in her way. Janelle chooses to sleep on the dirty floor at her friend’s house with a thin blanket and a seat cushion as a pillow rather than go home and sleep in her own bed. That’s saying something.

As usual, she ended up sleeping late when she was supposed to baby sit for Jace in the morning and this gives Barbara the excuse she was looking for to kick Janelle out. So once again Janelle packs her bags and walks out of the house without her son and not knowing when she will be allowed to return. I’m not a sensitive person, but watching Janelle cry about how no one loves her, no one hugs her, and all her mom ever does is yell at her and call her a slut and a whore just broke my heart.



There is a big discussion going on in the media lately about whether or not shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom cause young girls to want to get pregnant. If there is a girl out there who was inspired to become pregnant after watching this show, then behing a teen mom is the least of her worries because no teenager with a normal IQ level could watch this show and think that having a baby is a good idea. This shit looks like pure misery.

They filmed the reunion the other day and here are some pictures of the girls in LA, if anyone is interested: http://starcasm.net/archives/85738

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42 Responses to Teen Mom – Episode 5

  1. It's Hot In Texas says:

    Watching the show, I wondered if Jo’s parents actually kicked Kailyn and Isaac out of the house. It seemed like Jo got himself kicked out of his parents house (although he always refers to it as “his” house), and then told Kailyn not to go back there. She never tried to contact the parents. But since Jo and the baby were at the Aunts, they probably had updates, and knew what was going on.

    I was shocked Jo took the baby by himself. If he has to get a hotel for the night because he is too tired to drive back to Jersey, how does he think he can support his family?

    • Maybe she didn’t get kicked out. But they must have known she wasn’t with him, and when she didn’t come home do you think they even tried to call her? Jo’s mom looked really sweet in the beginning but now… I don’t know.

  2. Tuzentswurth says:

    You’re right, this show is depressing. I watched 2 episodes after your blogs and I was horrified and depressed at the abuse that Barbara (I think that is her name) doles out to Janelle. How is the name of all that is holy could a woman treat her daughter in such a vile, abusive, degrading manner……and do it on TV no less. That woman should be locked away. How can CPS allow her to have custody of a baby when she is so clearly emotionally disturbed? (Nice way of saying …a crazy fucking bitch). My heart goes out to Janelle, a lovely girl that grew up under that tyranny and has such low self esteem but probably could have had a normal life in a better environment. My heart breaks for those poor babies.

    • CPS didn’t give her custody, she tricked Janelle into signing it over. But she’s actually nice to the son, it’s only Janelle that she treats like crap. I think that hurts Janelle even more. Her son is probably the only person in this world who loves her and her mom is trying to take him away. I feel really sad for her because I think she could have turned out alright if she had had a different up bringing. I don’t know why, but I like her. She could still turn it around, but if she doesn’t do something soon, I fear she will be gone for good and end up just like her mother. Her scenes make me tired. I can understand why she feels like just giving up.
      But this show is going to make her rich. I heard the girls from the first Teen Mom make like 200k a season. Hopefully she uses that money to get her son back and move far away from that horrible mother.

      • Tuzentswurth says:

        I saw the epi were she and that sleazy lawyer tricked her out of her rights while Janelle had no representation for herself. What I mean is CPS should evaluate the abusive mother (Barbara) and remove custody from her. Telling that baby that his mother is a “bad, bad” person is and constantly screaming around him…she’s nuts! Where do they live, any idea?

        • Fairweather Viewer Ford says:

          The lawyer Janelle spoke with gave her a very poor consultation. A decent lawyer would have given Janelle so much more information, including pro bono services available in her area as well as information regarding where to go to for help with housing, job placement and other sources that help young single mothers like Janelle. Courts do not like to separate children from their parents and would have given Janelle the chance to improve her status before ever taking away her child. If Janelle had spoken to a decent lawyer, that lawyer would have guided her through the process and Janelle wouldn’t have to continue to live in the midst of her mother’s nightmare.

        • Distressed says:

          North Carolina, near the coast somewhere. I think the cape Fear area, not kidding. But Barbara is from Mass. I recognize the accent.

          The mother is a classic narcissist. She’s threatened by her child because Janelle knows what a hard bitch she is and Janelle is cute and young. Barbara is certainly not young and I don’t think she’s ever been cute.

          Taking care of the baby by enabling his mother, Janelle, to raise him the best she can is something that never occurred to this crazy bitch, Barbara. Janelle is out of control? Okay, maybe. But Barbara’s problem with janelle was supposedly that she never stayed home to take care of the kid.

          And what was Barbara’s solution to this problem? Bar Janelle from unsupervised babysitting with her own child and kicking her out so that Janelle can’t be around the house to take care of the kid.

          That doesn’t work on any level.

          I mean, what kind of a mother would call her child a whore on TV? Even if it were true. Especially if it were true.

        • North Carolina.
          Isn’t “parental alienation” a legal term that can be used in custody cases now? Janelle would have no problem proving that.

          • Distressed says:

            Don’t know how it is in Canada, but in the US everything is state by state. Marriage/divorce and family law in general can be very different depending on where you live. There are no federal laws that provide uniformity throughout the country.

            • Tuzentswurth says:

              I might go Illinois on their ass (wasn’t that where Hanna the horrible was from or would it be correct to say I’ll go all RCH on their ass?). I’d like to talk to local CPS and ask them if they are aware of this situation.

      • Meg1964 says:

        Just a few minutes ago I was reading Kailyn’s tweets. Someone asked her if it was true that Amber made $280k last year. Kailyn replied:

        @JessiBangss Amber never made that much. I asked… she fucked something up.

        That’s sad… Kailyn obviously asked MTV when she heard this and MTV must have denied it. BUT – If Kailyn were a little older and wiser, she would know that if was reported in Court.. and only after her lawyer tried his hardest to keep it private. That’s a shame, because Kailyn could definitely use the money.

        Someone on twitter asked Kailyn about Financial Aid and why she couldn’t get it. Her reply:

        @ashleyyy9206 Jo’s parents became my guardians & made too much + missed deadlines anyway. Getting it next fall for sure!

        That tweet stood out for 2 reasons. Jo’s parents were her guardians.. Why did they kick her and the baby out when they were pissed at Jo? Maybe they didn’t. Maybe it was Jo being a dick.
        The other thing that stood out was that if she qualifies or even needs financial aid in the fall, then she must NOT be making the money Amber made. Again.. sad.

        • I’m sure Amber makes more because her show has been on longer and I think it get’s higher ratings. Btw, do we know if the $280k was total, or per season?
          But Kailyn must have made a good amount too. I think it’s in their contract that they have to pretend to be poor or something. Now that we know Amber had all that money and lived the way she lived… I don’t think she was allowed to spend it – or at least not on camera. Mtv is trying to keep the show “real” and if they have a bunch of teen moms spending money and never working then that defeats the purpose of the show. But they made money for sure. When they left LA after filming the reunion their tweets were all like
          “I know I should save but so tempted to spend”
          And different variations of that.
          Kailyn has enough to pay for her school, a new car, and a place to live. I’m sure.
          About Jo’s parents being the guardians, I think that doesn’t matter anymore once she turns 18, so they can still kick her out. And they kicked their own son out, so you can’t expect them to care that much about her.
          But I wonder if they really kicked him out or if he just left and then didn’t want her going back bc he was pissed at them.

          • Meg1964 says:

            Kailyn did a follow up tweet that they are no longer her guardian.

            I read somewhere that they get their money after filming is complete. I guess that’s MTVs way of ensuring they come across as poor. That might explain why they were tweeting about spending money.. maybe they got it while they were in LA taping the reunion.

            I tweeted to Kailyn about the amount that came out in court (Amber). It looks like she responds to tweets, so maybe she’ll respond to mine. I’ll let you know.

            I don’t know if the $280 was a total, or just one season. MTV is quite secretive about what they pay for any of their shows. When Amber had to go to court, she was ordered by the judge to disclose her income.. that’s the only reason we know what kind of money she was making.

            I did notice in the last season of Teen Mom, toward the last few episodes, Maci had a new car.

          • Tuzentswurth says:

            My guess would be that most, if not all these girls will blow through that money and be back where they started within a year. They are too young to exercise good judgement and don’t have any adults with common sense that they would listen to in their lives.

  3. Golden Girl says:

    I feel so bad for Janelle and Kailyn they are trying their best to make a better life for themselves and their babies but they keep getting the smack down every where they turn. Then you have that B like Chelsea getting everything handed to her including a safe place to stay at night and she can’t even finish her high school degree! She does nothing she’s always handing her baby off to her roommate so she can go “talk” with Adam. This show makes my blood pressure rise.

    • Distressed says:

      Chelsea is totally gross. And the father is a complete enabler. He’s just as guilty of raising an stupid, entitled, useless brat as Chelsea is of being a total loser. The shirtless wonder might in fact be too good for our little princess.

      I mean would you pay for your single mother high school dropout kid to get manis, pedis and hair extensions if she couldn’t even manage to get a GED while she doesn’t have to work to pay the bills? Unreal.

  4. krone says:

    OMG, this show is so depressing. In what universe is Janelle’s former caretaker considered a mother? The only consolation for me is the fact that should Janelle get her shit together, ( hardly consolation since this girl has obviously had NO maternal role-model), this very show should provide evidence to any family court judge that that c*** of a “mother” should be no where near another child. I wouldn’t even let her have visitation. I HATE this fucking bitch! Sorry for the language if it offends anyone but if ever there were a person or in Babs’ case, a semi-sentient being. who deserves it, it is this hateful thing. I can’t even make fun of her because it’s too real and the bitch has a direct impact on Janelle, and now this very innocent baby who doesn’t even seem real to her; he’s a hammer to beat her daughter with; a chess piece to be used in some psychotic, sociopathic relationship she has with her daughter. (whom I want to take in and give all the hugs and support she obviously never got in her “family”. )

    • Tuzentswurth says:

      You’ve head tapped me! You’re a psychic! Know that.

    • Distressed says:

      Agree, the mother has really shown herself to be mentally ill. Sociopath? Don’t know. Maybe narcissistic personality disorder. Whatever. There’s no mothering here at all. Being angry and frustrated is totally legit. But destroying the bond that Janelle and her son need to have in life is completely immoral.

      Like I said above. Barbara’s stated problem with Janelle was that she never stayed home to take care of the kid. Now barbara has engineered the solution to be that Janelle can’t be at home to take care of the kid. Brilliant.

      Through the looking glass, here.

    • I totally agree. I want to give Janelle a huge hug and let her come live in my guest room. She messes up a lot, but how on earth is anyone supposed to grow into a mature responsible adult in an environment like that? Her mother won’t even let her take Jace out of the house to see fireworks. There is a quote I love: “Children will become what you expect them to be.” Basically, if you treat your child like a fuck up who can’t do anything right – that’s exactly what they’re going to become.

      Here is an interesting article on the subject: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0816/is_7_19/ai_78785136/

  5. WindyCityWondering says:

    Just can’t feel sorry for any of them! Their bad choices continue, their attitudes suck and worst of all – they are getting paid for this! And sadly, I bet there are teens out there who think that if they get pregnant they will be on this show.

  6. Distressed says:

    Excellent, excellent recap. This one needed some compassion and understanding, you pulled it off wonderfully.

    Just to be snarkey – Chelsea, please add 5.) Put a fucking shirt on, you tool.
    What is wrong with this guy with no shirt on in front of the cameras every second. Gross.

    As far as your last comment about girls getting pregnant to get on the show. I’ve read stories that go both ways. There are quite a few girls out there starved for affection to the point they think having a baby will provide them with the unconditional love they feel is missing in their lives.

    And I think just about every one of them believe that having the baby and then raising the baby will cement their relationship with their piece of shit baby daddy, not you Corey.

    On the other side I read this recently:

    And it says that more than 80% of kids that watched the show had a better understanding of how screwed up they will be financially and socially (far more important than any other factor for a kid this age) by a pregnancy and parenthood this early in life.

    Who knows. Again, nice recap. You struck the right tone here.

    • I agree, I think most teen girls get pregnant because they want someone to love them and they think having a baby will make the baby daddy love them more/not leave/be a family. I get that. But I don’t see how watching the show can inspire them to want to get pregnant. The show proves that all those idealized ideas they have about motherhood are not realistic. Corey and Leah are the exception, but even though she got what she wanted (the family and a man to take care of them) she’s still unhappy. Be careful what you wish for!

      And yes, Adam needs to agree to #5. And what the hell is with those shirts with the cut off sides? Either wear a shirt or don’t. Make up your mind!

    • Meg1964 says:

      I’m thinking Adam showed up shirtless this season just to get some airtime. Teen Mom is pulling in the viewers. My money says that as soon as the cameras are gone, Adam will put on his shirt and leave.

      I despise Adam and Chelsea.. especially for how they both behaved tonight.

  7. Well…. the roommate who seemed to have such a good head on her shoulders is now also pregnant:


    *shakes head*

  8. krone says:

    Seeing some of these girls makes me really appreciate what an exceptional couple Tyler and his girlfriend sre (can’t think of her name). They both came from unstable homes, entered into an open adoption with a loving couple, keep up with their baby’s development, continue to care for each other and are planning for their future. They seemed to honestly put their baby’s needs first. I was so impressed with them last year and am even more so now, after seeing the current crew.

    • krone says:

      Tyler & girlfriend from season 1

    • Distressed says:

      I think her name was Katelynn. And I loved that MTV put them in the mix of Teen Mom and not just 16 & pregnant because they did the right thing for the kid.

      I found it appalling that the girl’s mother did nothing but shame her daughter about giving the child up to a wonderful couple. She was gross. The girl’s mother was actually married to Tyler’s father. Who was in prison for most of the show. Great environment for a child.

    • Yes I think they are the smartest kids on this show, and they did the right thing for their daughter even though they clearly didn’t want to give her up. That was a sad episode. But I think their constant obsession over the child they gave away is not healthy. They need to move on. I hope they take their Mtv money and do something good with their lives.

      • captaincarebear says:

        From personal experience I know you can not move on. Just not possible. Long story but I did write a book about it. Just don’t have a clue about publishing. Maybe I’ll have to ask a “professional” writer on how to get a book published.

        • So in your opinion do you think an open adoption is a good idea, or does it just add to the pain?

          You can self publish your book. I spoke to Cat from DC yesterday (going to post that conversation tomorrow) and she self published her book. Maybe you should try it.

          • captaincarebear says:

            Open adoption can help the pain of not knowing how your kid turned out. Cat can self publish cause she’s Cat. She’s got connections and moolah. The average joe usually goes broke self publishing. I know all about being broke. I’ve tried it a lot. Not my thing. But if you ever want to read the book, I’ll email you a bit and you can see if it’s even worth publishing. Who knows, it may suck but I doubt it. I would never admit suckiness, just brokiness.

  9. Maya says:

    We need someone with qualifications

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