The show starts where we left off with the worlds most awkward toast. I wonder how much time Bravo saves in each episode by replaying things we’ve already seen?
Camille gets her last walk down the red carpet as the wife of a celebrity. In her talking heads she can’t seem to make up her mind about whether Kesley asked her there to have a romantic weekend and try to fix their marriage, or whether the marriage was over and he had already moved on. It must be hard to keep your stories straight when you’re constantly making shit up.
Kyle, who up until this point seemed like one of the normal ones, goes to visit her psychic and brings her mother’s ashes and a lock of her hair with her. Um… ok? This psychic tells her that she is having a conflict with another woman (duh) and Kyle seems so impressed by this premonition. Oh come on Kyle! When the psychic told Kyle that she was feeling betrayed by Kim in New York, Kyle was all like “Omg how did you know?” Holy hell! Read back a couple recaps, I said the exact same thing. Where is my $50 an hour, huh Kyle?
Lisa invites Taylor to lunch to discuss her shit stirring ways. I love Lisa, but she really needs to stop saying “put it to bed” about everything. It’s getting very annoying and she even got Taylor saying it now. So Lisa confronts Taylor, and Taylor laughs and giggles like she always does and then embarks on some long rambling explanation of events. Eventually it becomes clear that what Taylor had attempted to do was get Camille angry at Kim. But her manipulation attempt went horribly wrong when Camille ended up taking her crazy out on Kyle instead.
Lisa is getting annoyed with Taylor’s excuses and finally tells her very simply to just stay out of it and to make things right with Kim. But it’s not really a suggestion. Lisa is telling her that this is what she has to do. Taylor smiles, tilts her head, and says “Lisa…” and I swear she was about to go all Oklahoma on her ass. But then she stopped herself and thought about how rich and connected Lisa is and decided that her social climbing agenda is more important than whatever she felt like saying in that moment.
Back at home, Taylor invites a girlfriend over to take her daughters dog Snowball off her hands. Another reason why I don’t believe Taylor’s childhood abuse stories is because she cries exactly the same over giving away Kennedy’s dog as she does about the “attack on her mother.” The tears just seem to come a little too easy and shut off a little too fast. I’m telling you guys, something is not right with this bitch.
Over at Lisa’s they are STILL talking about Cedric moving out. How many episodes are they going to dedicate to this? Boring… But there was one interesting piece of information that was mentioned by Ken: Cedric is 37 years old. Really? He looks good!
I’m trying so hard to feel bad for Camille, but I just can’t. There is no way that this break up was a surprise to Camille. I don’t believe it. Either that, or she is just very, very heavily medicated. Her calm, tearless reaction to everything that’s happening just doesn’t make sense. To me, she doesn’t seem like a hurt woman, she seems like someone trying to get sympathy from people. I don’t know what the real story is here, but I’m sure it’s not what they’re showing on tv. Not at all. I don’t believe anything in Camille scene’s anymore, especially not after that toast in New York. Shady bitch.
So the women (minus Camille) all head out to Taylor’s birthday party that was supposedly planned by Russel. I think it was really planned by Bravo and just given the title of “Taylor’s birthday party”. The only people there were members of the show, their relatives, personal assistants, PR reps, and managers. Come on Bravo, are we really supposed to believe that Kim’s best friend and Mauricio’s mother were invited to Taylor’s birthday? Or that Russel threw a party? Seriously.
What does that chair in the bottom of the picture look like? Lol.
Russel makes a little toast to Taylor. Either he is extremely socially awkward, or he just really doesn’t like his wife. It’s hard to tell. He tries to be nice by calling Taylor 29, and she admits that she’s 39. Thirty nine? And Cedric is 37? Do those two look even close to being the same age? Whaaaat? Bravo is blowing my mind tonight.
The party is going along nicely, so Taylor the shit stirrer decides to do what she does best and stir some shit up. So she goes over to Kim, interrupts the conversation she is having with her friend, and pulls her aside to start a fight.
She stands 2 inches away from Kim’s face and tells her that she hates her guts and that the entire drama with Camille was all her fault. I don’t think that was what Lisa had in mind when she told Taylor to fix things with Kim.
I think this was also a little “fuck you” to Lisa. Like, “You told me I have to fix things? Now watch what I’m gonna do. Try telling me what to do again, bitch.”
Kim is bad at communicating, but she’s right in everything she says. She calls Taylor a shit stirrer, and reminds her that it was in fact her that started the conversation about Camille and her self esteem. When she reminds Taylor that she said Camille feels insignificant, Taylor denies it. But thankfully we have the footage to prove what a liar Taylor is. Taylor started the conversation, Taylor called her insignificant, and Taylor went and whispered in Camille’s ear in New York and that’s how this whole mess between Kyle and Camille got started. All because of Taylor and her big mouth and even bigger lips.
Eventually all the women start gathering around. Kim tells Kyle that Lisa and Taylor aren’t her friends. But then changes her mind and says actually it’s just Taylor. Then Kim and Kyle start arguing with each other and Taylor stands back to admire the mess she’s created.
Then Taylor pulls another master manipulation move and tells Kim to stop stirring up drama. Since no one else was there to see how the argument started, they all believe Taylor when she says that Kim was the one who started it, and Kyle is the first one to jump down Kim’s throat for stirring shit up. Now everyone is fighting and Kim is getting blamed for it when she really didn’t do anything wrong. See how well Taylor plays the victim when she really isn’t? I bet she was the one waging an attack on her mother in blue footed pajamas because she got her the wrong Barbie doll for Christmas.
Adrienne actually did something other than bicker with Paul this episode and was nice to Kim. Adrienne really tried to be sympathetic, but you can tell she is so uncomfortable when people get emotional. It’s clearly hard for her to find the right words and she really just wants to say “Man up and get over it already. Crying is for sissy’s!”
My cold heart is actually softening a bit, because I felt really bad for Kim when she said “I’m not lonely. I like being alone” in that soft voice. How sad was that? I wanted to hug her. Ok. I officially don’t hate Kim anymore. She still annoys me, but now I feel sad for her.
I’m really seeing a different side of Kim in this episode. Now I’m actually thinking about the fact that she really didn’t have a childhood. It was Kim’s work and Kim’s money that paid for the lifestyle her sisters grew up in. It seems like Kim doesn’t feel appreciated enough or like she gets enough credit for sacrificing her childhood so that her family could have a nice life. Now she’s old and alone and has nothing left, while her sisters are benefitting from their positions in life – positions which likely wouldn’t have been possible without Kim’s pay checks and status. This family is seriously screwed up. I hope they get some serious family therapy.
There is some deeper issue with the house situation. Kim says that Kyle stole her house, and this makes Kyle really mad. Like, really angry. If it was Kim’s money that paid for the house, then why did Kyle get so upset? Why did she call her delusional and sick? There is definitely more going on here.
When Kim refuses to “take back” her comment about the house, Kyle bum rushes her, and Kim dives behind Adrienne so fucking fast! I’m starting to think that maybe Kyle beats Kim in private or something. The way Kim dodged her, it looks like she’s used to it. Look, you can’t even see Kim in this picture! That’s how far behind Adrienne she is!
And then the truth comes out!!! We’ve all been wondering what’s wrong with Kim. She’s an alcoholic. That’s what’s wrong with her. It all makes a little more sense now. Her odd behavior, her shaky voice, the way her face gets so red, the whole Single Gary thing. Ah ha. The puzzle pieces are beginning to fit. But shame on Kyle for saying that on national tv.
I hope Kyle feels bad when she watches the show air. I’m sure her and Kim will make up. I highly doubt this was the first bad fight between those two.
Why do Bravo’s cameras always miss all the good stuff?
It hadn’t occurred to me that Adrienne might be responsible for Paul’s broken noses, but now that I think about it…