The show starts with Lisa and Kyle having lunch. I love Lisa. Not only is she funny, but she’s smart and she see’s right through Taylor and her shit stirring ways. Lisa tells Kyle that she thinks Taylor said something to Camille to get her all fired up in New York. Yes! Thank you Lisa! Finally someone else see’s what I see.
Apparently Hell has frozen over last night because my husband actually sat and watched 15 minutes of the show with me. His verdict? Taylor must be at least 50, because no one younger than that would have so much work done. And he officially volunteers to be Lisa’s next house guest. He said he would have no problem pretending to be gay if Lisa will be his sugar momma. Look how quickly I get sold out!
Am I the only one who can’t stand Camille’s house? There is too much stuff everywhere. And it just looks very “Ashley’s Furniture” to me. (That may or may not make sense depending on where you live). I think Camille might be a few nick nacks away from being a hoarder herself.
In her interview Camille said [paraphrasing] “I don’t want to go to the Tony’s. But Kelsey said it’s something we really need to do together. He said come and lets spend a romantic weekend together and see how it works out.”
Here is what Camille meant to say: “When Kelsey told me that I had to stay in a hotel because his new girlfriend had already moved in, I told him that if he wants to live with that whore, that’s fine, I really don’t care because I’m taking half of everything and the house in Hawaii, but there is no way in hell I’m gonna miss a red carpet – especially not when I already bought the dress. I told him either I can walk down the red carpet with him, or I can walk down the red carpet with a photo of him… wearing my panties and heels. His choice. So obviously he flew me down and put me up in a ten thousand dollar a night hotel.”
Kim does a phone interview with Radio Disney. Judging by the way the furniture is set up, I think she thought this interview was going to be in person. Kim is sad. She says that she wants to be a star again like what she was when she was younger. I hope someone will take pity on her and give her a role somewhere. I think she could play the perfect down on her luck truck stop waitress who lives in a trailer with her unemployed alcoholic husband who beats her. She has the perfect look for that role. I’m sure Lifetime will be making that movie sooner or later.
I have nothing against Adrienne, but I find her boring. And why is Paul bitching about how much money she’s spending? She could buy that whole store, and the employees too. It’s cute that he went shopping with her though.
Lisa says that wearing flats is like a disease. I agree. And no one suffers worse from this ailment than KKB. Ken wants Cedric to move out of the house. Lisa thinks he should, but isn’t sure she really wants him to. With a house that size, who cares? You could probably live there for months without ever seeing another person.
Lisa and Cedric have a sad scene together. Poor Cedric. He just wants a mommy and daddy to take care of him. I know some people think he’s scamming, but I think he’s just a sad lonely boy looking for acceptance. Awww. 😦
Kyle’s daughter is graduating college. I don’t think we’ve seen 30 seconds of this daughter so far, so I don’t know why we have to watch so much of the graduation. I really could care less about all this.
Camille actually appears in a scene with her daughter. She didn’t want to, but DD suggested that it would look better in divorce court if she is actually able to pick her children’s faces out of a line up.
In her talking head Camille says that Kelsey has it easy because he doesn’t have to explain anything to the children. She said she wants her daughter to know that no matter what, mommy’s there. And daddy’s not. And never will be. Because a 29 year old British whore is more important to him than his children are.
At Farrah’s graduation party Adrienne and Paul ask Mauricio’s mother for relationship advice. She talks to them for a bit and give them some tips, in return Paul tells her how old she looks and suggests she do a mini face lift and some fat injections so that her deep wrinkles don’t distract her patients when she’s speaking.
Kathy Hilton and the rest of that family decided to ditch the graduation party and go to Cannes instead, so to make up for their absence they sent Farrah an incredibly large plant… and a check with a bunch of zero’s at the end of it.
In her interview Adrienne says that she can imagine that when her boys graduate from college her heart will be beating outside of her body. Um… what? Did anyone else think this was an odd thing to say?
Adrienne brought her kids to visit Paul at work so they can watch him play with his stethoscope and fiddle with thing-a-ma-jigs in his office, because apparently that’s what Adrienne thinks he does all day. Poor Paul, Adrienne is so emasculating. Any other woman would consider it a bragging point to be married to a plastic surgeon.
Over in New York Camille is getting her makeup done. Her makeup artist says that he can tell she’s unhappy. I wonder what tipped him off. Maybe the fact that she refused to smile? I’m pretty sure Camille knows about the new girlfriend at this point, so I find it really odd that she’s joking that maybe Kelsey “traded her in for a newer model”.
In her interview Camille lists all the amazing things she’s done for Kelsey and demands to know why he doesn’t find being with her fulfilling. Hmm… I could think of a few reasons. You kiss your male friends on the mouth, your are a uber bitch, you take credit for everything he does, you hang out with people like Allison DuBois…. that’s just off the top of my head. I’m sure I could think of a few more if I tried.
Finally Kelsey shows up at the hotel. Camille asks him which dress she should wear and he could clearly care less. Camille says that if she didn’t show up to the Tony’s people would have been questioning where she was. As far as I know, people barely care about Kelsey Grammer. I can’t imagine them caring about his wife. When is the last time a red carpet picture of either of them was even published before RHOBH and the whole cheating thing?
In her interview Camille talks about how she thought that when she went to New York her and Kelsey would be able to work things out. Immediately after that, they show her asking Nick for a kiss… on the lips… in front of his wife. Gotta love editing.
Then there was a very weird scene with the toast. I’m not sure if everyone caught it, I had to replay it a couple times to hear everything correctly. I know sometimes I make things up, but this isn’t one of those times. This is exactly what happened:
Kelsey pops the bottle of champagne
Camille: Look at all the love that’s around
Kelsey: Here’s to love
Camille: To the women and the love
Kelsey: That’s very nice
DD: To the love and to… (cut off)
Kelsey: Particularly to all the love I’ve gotten from the British people
DD: I’m sure you’ve been getting a lot of love — (cut off again)
Camille: And to 13 years of marriage
Kelsey: There you go babe
Camille: There you go
Something was going on here. But what? Why are they playing nice? Why is she still going with him to the Tony’s? Why is everyone being so sarcastic? What’s with all the looks? Did Camille really blackmail Kelsey with cross dressing pictures? And why the hell doesn’t Nick’s wife kick her ass?
The scenes from next week look really good. Camille cries, Kim yells at Lisa and Taylor, Taylor yells at Kim, and Kyle wrestles with Kim in the back of a limo. I love it.