Wow! What an episode. Watching this week’s show was quite the experience. I recalled many, many emotions. The most prominent were surprise and disappointment. (I think you mean joy and excitement.)
When I first started planning this dinner for the ladies, I was truly cautiously optimistic. (Optimistic that you would make Kyle look bad and come off as the victim?) A little time and distance had passed since “New York” and it seemed like a good idea to try to settle things down, a reconciliation. (Is that why you were telling your
paid yes men friends that the women were “out the door already” before the dinner even started?) I thought it would be great if I could patch things up with Kyle. (You mean it would be great if she would kiss your ass and beg for forgiveness?) If not, then maybe we could at least get to a point where we could all be together in the same room and be civil to each other. I wanted to extend an invitation, and hope for the best. (Meaning make Kyle look bad? How’d that work out for ya?)
My plan was simple, (Obviously not simple enough since you were unable to carry it out) to have a dinner party with all of the ladies and invite a couple of my friends as icebreakers. (Icebreakers? Ha!) Dedra has been so dear to me over the years and gets along with almost everyone. (Everyone you tell her to get along with) Allison was a perfect choice in my mind because not only is she a good friend but also is witty, (I think you are confusing “witty” with another word… like “insane” maybe?) entertaining, (can’t argue with that, she was entertaining) and compelling. (compelling as a train wreck) She had always gotten along well with my friends in the past. I knew she would be a welcome distraction for us. (Distraction? Yes. Welcome? HELL no!) Her career is interesting and usually leads to a variety of conversations. (Except conversations about her career – because that’s forbidden conversation, right?) This may be just what we needed to keep from rehashing our past disagreements, to forge into a whole new direction and the opportunity to have a night without negative exchanges. (Yeah, ok Miss “I saw you naked in Playboy!“) I thought once we had a friendly get-together under our belt our future interactions would precede more easily. (Well I guess your psychic should have warned you that that’s not what was going to happen, huh?)
Oh, how wrong was I!?! (How wrong you still are… In SO many ways…)
The night of the dinner party I was very nervous for obvious reasons. (Because you have Irritable Bowel Syndrome and thought you might possibly shit yourself?) As a side note, it may not come as a surprise to the viewers, but I when I get nervous I smile and laugh. (I don’t think that’s nervousness, I think that’s pure joy over the drama and chaos you create) I know that there are other people that do this as well. It isn’t something that I try to do, it just happens. (Yes, we are all aware that you don’t mean to reveal your true feeling about situations through your facial expressions, it just happens) I don’t know if there is a medical name for this, (it’s called being a bad liar) but a friend of mine who also reacts similarly, says it is just a nervous reaction, nervous energy finding an outlet. She is probably right, but it does lead to some confusion with people who don’t know me well.
I worked hard at being a good hostess to the housewives, (HAHA! Yeah, ok!!) most of who had never been to my home before. The party was going fairly well until Kyle walked in with her friend. (You mean until you decided to attack her friend for no reason?) I just felt something was off when I greeted her friend and welcomed her into my home. I’m not sure if it was because she wouldn’t look me in the eye or if it was just a change in the energy of the room. (Paaaraaanoid…) As the night progressed, it became obvious she wasn’t there for the food and sparkling dinner conversation. (No, she was there as an enemy combatant to attack and destroy you in your own home. Clearly.) It appeared that she was stalking the perimeter of the conversation, just waiting for her chance to pounce. When she found her opportunity she kept antagonizing my guests and stirring the pot. (Must be that damn editing again I guess.)
Finally Allison had justifiably had enough. (Enough of what?) She felt the need to defend me as well as herself. (You mean, defend you and herself against being called out on the truth) She is a fiercely loyal protective friend and no shrinking violet. For this I am grateful and I appreciate and love her dearly. (That’s why you put her in a position where you knew she was going to get drunk and destroy her reputation? Nice friend.) Unfortunately we had reached the point of no return. The whole night started to resemble a freight train out of control.
I was deeply hurt, (hurt that Kyle didn’t get on her knees and beg you for forgiveness) surprised (surprised that the peasants dared to call you out on your actions) and disappointed (disappointed that DD didn’t attack the other women the way Allison did). I felt so ambushed in my own home. (Funny, since the only one ambushing people was you) After the other ladies left I talked with my friends about the evening’s events. We were all shell-shocked and I said some things I wish I had not said. (You mean you said things you wish hadn’t been caught on camera)
At this time I want to apologize to Kyle and her husband Mauricio. (How many PR people did it take to convince you do to this?) We have worked with Mauricio for several years, and I think he is a lovely person. (That’s why you were ready to fire him over an argument with his wife?) I must apologize for my comments because I believe they really have a great marriage, and he does love his wife. (We know you believe this, and it’s one of the reasons for your anger and jealousy towards Kyle) It was the end of a very volatile day with emotions raging and tempers flaring. I reacted out of frustration, (you mean jealousy?) and made statements that should not have been said. I sincerely (<– bullshit) apologize to Kyle and Mauricio for my statements and truly don’t believe what was said.
Back to (the) story, I wonder how many people have actually succeeded in establishing the goodwill I had hoped for under such trying circumstances. (Huh?) That night all just went so horribly wrong. (Actually I think that night when pretty much the way you had planned. The only thing that went horribly wrong was the reaction of the public which you were not expecting) All I had to show for my good intentions (Good intentions? LOL!) and efforts were some fresh bruises for me, (always the victim, huh?) and many ruffled feathers for the housewives.
I remember thinking to myself, why did I agree to do this show? (Because you were jealous of your husbands fame and wanted some for yourself? Or because he pushed you to do the show so the world could see how awful you were and forgive him when he left you?) Is this as bad as it gets? It has to be, right?
Again, how wrong was I?!!! (Good! So that means you’ll be looking even worse in future episodes. Can’t wait!)
Until next time,
PS: I want to extend a special thank you to my good friends Allison and Dedra. I appreciate that we are still close friends even after I exposed you to such an explosive evening. I love that you stood by me and came to my defense. (Now DD came to your defence? You said on the show that Allison was the only one who had your back) I only wish the evening had turned out differently. But, as you both know, no one is more disappointed at the outcome of that evening than I am. (If they are such good friends, why are you talking to them in a blog? Is the woman who holds and dials your phone for you off today?)
A few comments from Camille’s Bravo Blog:
And I actually managed to find one comment in support of Camille. But still not one comment anywhere (Bravo, blogs, youtube, twitter) in defense of Allison. Not one.
Thanks Pamela, for finding the link to Camille’s blog.