Housewives Holiday Jingle

I had an assignment on AC to create an original holiday song. I love you guys too much to subject you to my singing, so instead I wrote the lyrics down and you guys can sing along to this music:

Housewives Holiday Jingle:

The Real Housewives on Bravo TV
These women are so cra-zay
I’m writing blogs about them all
Laughing all the way

Ha Ha Ha!

Gum berries and satchels of gold
Al Sharpton and love and light
What fun it is to laugh and sing
This Housewife song tonight


Jingle bells
Kelly smells
Just like kitty pee

Teresa’s broke
It’s not a joke
She’ll be denied her bankruptcy


Jingle bells
Camille smells
Like insecurity

Jill’s a joke
There is no hope
At least she has Bobbeeey

Dina Manzo is a head case
Michaele’s life is a big lie
Taylor’s lips are takin over her face
Kim’s song makes babies cry

The demonic faces of Phaedra Parks
They give me such a fright
What fun it is to laugh and snark
On Housewives every night


Jingle bells
Camille smells
Like insecurity

Jill’s a joke
There is no hope
At least she has Bobbeeey


Jingle bells
Kelly smells
Just like kitty pee

Teresa’s broke
It’s not a joke
She’ll be denied her bankruptcy

Teresa’s broke
It’s not a joke
She’ll be denied her bankruptseeeeey

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36 Responses to Housewives Holiday Jingle

  1. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  2. Tracey w/ an 'e' says:

    That was hilarious!!! Lol!

  3. Daisy says:


  4. TheDesignDiva says:

    LOVED IT…of course I had to sing it LOUD AND PROUD….Hubby thinks I have lost it..told him that happened LONG before the HW’S came along !!!!!


  5. tweatcyn says:

    Very clever and funny. Happy Holidays!

  6. Pingback: Tweets that mention Housewives Holiday Jingle | --

  7. jezzibel says:

    Loves it!!!

  8. Sangfroid says:

    I appreciate that you went to the effort to find an instrumental version of Jingle Bells so that we could sing along at home. I almost lost my sangfroid when singing the chorus.
    Nice, really nice.
    Sings sotto voce ” Teresa’s broke, It’s not a joke, She’ll be denied her bankruptseeeeey”

  9. MickeyMouth says:


    Did they publish it?

  10. SillyMe says:

    OMG i love the jingle totally singing along with your lyrics! You are truly talented! Great job! 🙂

  11. Tam5115 says:

    Most excellent!

  12. iwannabeanarchy says:

    Great song!

    I just thought I’d share – the word “pernicious” was used in a case in my corporate law textbook!

  13. hehehehehehehehehe
    I was totally singing it.

    tomorrow i will print, memorize it(yes, i will have to print it to memorize it, my memory is that bad……….) and then I will sing it at all the Christmas Parties proudly……….maybe
    I’ll bring the lyrics, yeah, that’s what I’ll do , then everyone can join the fun. :0)
    thanks, RCH

  14. Raquel Papel says:

    kelly smells like cat pee…ha!

  15. oopsy says:

    Hey, RCH!!!! I’ve been gona awhile (started new job) and I come back to this!! I’m gonna be singing it all day! Missed everybody

    • Sangfroid says:

      Oopsy it has been a long time!
      Congratulations on the job, it’s a good thing right?

      • oopsy says:

        Thank you sangfroid! I’m grateful for it but am still looking for something else. I’ve been home for years with my children so it is weird going back.

        • oopsy says:

          My cats apparently aren’t taking it well…dropped a couple hundred today at the vet 😦 to rule out any bladder infections, one of the little #$@% peed a couple times on my clothes!! I don’t know which so I had to take them both in, it is cheaper to just do antibiotics then to do urine tests and then go back for meds. Both are on meds and if it doesn’t stop we are gonna have to do some behavior modification. If they are just pissed (haha) at me and not sick they are not going to like the changes around here! I will give them extra attention and try to make things ok for them but NO WAY am I walking around smelling like Kelly!!! I am somewhat of a germ aphobe and am not pleased!

          • It sounds like they are just trying to get revenge on you for leaving. I had a cat before that did stuff like that. That’s why I don’t like cats. They’re all bitches. Lol.

          • Sangfroid says:

            ” Smelling like Kelly” watch out rumors will start.
            I understand both situations, returning to work after years at home and peevish pets.
            The Real Felines of Sangfroid are having a pernicious pecking order war. I think the cold weather has made them cranky.
            Here’s hoping the meds work and you don’t end up bagging and disposing of too many household objects.

          • Tam5115 says:

            Were the clothes in a laundry basket? I had a cat that started doing that years ago. He turned out to have leukemia. I hope that yours is just being revengeful.

    • Tuzentswurth says:

      Congrats on the job and I hope the cats are okay. If it is a behavior problem vs UTI, maybe leaving some noise on in the house would help, a radio or tv? I- (yes I am this crazy)- bought a dvd for my dog that plays on a loop while I’m gone (yes, there apparently are other crazy people in the world that buy dvd’s to comfort animals so Amazon sells them). I don’t know if the dog really enjoys it but the parakeet loves it!

      • Haha! I don’t have a special tape but I always leave the tv on while I’m gone so they can hear human voices and don’t feel so alone.

        • Sangfroid says:

          We do this for the parakeet. She has her own radio so she can sing along with the tunes while we are out and about.

          • Tuzentswurth says:

            Yes, the dog video has chirping birds and outside noises, kids playing etc and the bird starts answering it back. My dog puts her head down and gives me that look that says ” I know this soothing music chirping birds shit means you are leaving me at home today.”
            My cats have had hyperthyroidism and bladder tumor problems when they started peeing in unusual places (different cats at diff times)
            And a final note OT but regarding “our Camille”:
            Despite the drama brought by Camille Grammer, declaring Mauricio Umansky would no longer represent the Grammer’s in real estate transactions. this home, owned by Kelsey Grammer, is listed with Mauricio. Perhaps this is the home Camille let her “friends’ stay in? Eviction notices must be eminent, as Kelsey just bought a new apartment in Manhattan .

  16. Thank you everyone for the compliments!!!! 🙂

  17. Damnert says:

    I want someone to record this so I can buy it as a ring tone :O)

  18. GHOST PLUMMER!!! says:


  19. Pest control lady says:

    I’ll try to talk my daughter into recording it.

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