I don’t know if I’m just on a high from all the insanity of the last few days or if this episode really was as boring as it seemed, but I had to drink two espresso’s just to get through this recap.
Sheree calls her oldest daughter and tells her that she has a surprise for her. Tiara or whatever her name is shows up to see Sheree sitting on the hood of a car that had already been repossessed by the time the episode aired. Let me tell you, if someone told me they had a surprise for me, and I pulled up to see a new car sitting in front of me and the surprise turned out to be that they bought the car for themselves, I would be pissssed.
Kim gives her family a tour of her newly decorated house. First stop is the shrine she built to herself complete with a solid gold altar adorned with her glamour shots. She calls it her “office” but that’s ridiculous, why would Kim need an office? And if any of you have a problem with her shrine you can “Eat shit and die”. If you didn’t watch the show – I didn’t make that up. Kim actually said that.
The younger daughter also got a room makeover. Kim decided that since she’s getting older it was time for her to upgrade to a big girl room. This is Kim’s version of a big girl room:
Kim says this cost $60k. What?! How? I think shop owners automatically double their prices when Kim walks in because they know she’s the type of person who only likes something if it’s expensive.
The older kid is mad because apparently the 2,000 square foot 3 room 1 bath apartment she lives in isn’t decorated nice enough. Anyone who was wondering how women like Kesley’s wife turn out the way they do – this is how.
NeNe and Cynthia’s sister help prepare a surprise engagement for her even though they know she’ll hate it. Maybe I’m wrong, but I would think that a public proposal should either be in front of a whole lot of people, or just family. Not like 4 random friends who don’t know each other and a Power Puff Girl. The whole thing was just weird.
When Cynthia realized what was going on she flat out tells Peter that she doesn’t want to be proposed to like this. But she doesn’t care and drags her over in front of the fire place and asks the question anyway.
I did it my way. I knew she would hate it but I did it MY way.
$100 says this marriage won’t last 24 months. If the guy is being this selfish about the proposal, just imagine what the rest of the marriage will be like. And NeNe is just waiting for that split to happen so she can get her hands all over Peter. Season 4 is gonna be great!
There wasn’t too much of Fakedra in this episode, but she didn’t fail to disappoint with the faces. The southern belle explains that she will be giving birth soon since the baby is ready to claw it’s way out of her vagina. Classy.
Fakedra’s packing designer underwear and lingerie for her stay in the hospital because she deserves it. Is it wrong of me to hope she gets afterbirth juice, breast milk, and baby puke all over those expensive nightgowns? Fakedra and her friend (I know, I was surprised that she has a friend too) had a whole conversation about 50 cent pieces and belly bands that made absolutely no sense to me. But I eat from cans so what do I know?
Bravo is really trying to capitalize on the whole Dancing craze in this episode. Dear Bravo and Andy Cohen: if anyone cared about seeing Sheree dance she would being on Dancing With The Stars. You owe us extra drama next week for making us sit through this crap.
Kandi is still carrying out her plan to make Kim jealous by turning Lawrence into a “star”. Kandi never shuts the hell up about Kim. This is bordering on a Jacqueline/Danielle type of obsession right now and it’s getting old. She literally hasn’t talked about anything other than Kim this entire season except that one scene where she talked about her baby daddy.
You gotta sing better than that chain smoking Kim, ok? And you can’t play this CD for the whole world like Kim did… that bitch…. ok? And you gotta actually work, unlike lazy ass Kim, ok? And you gotta pay me too, unlike that cheap money hungry Kim, ok? Oh, btw, how do you feel about performing in a blond wig?
The time comes to make a donation and NeNe insists that no one donates more than $20. She’s broke and she doesn’t want to look like a cheap ass all by herself. And surprisingly, everyone went along with it. But then Kandi went and talked shit in her interview as though her $20 was somehow better than the $20 NeNe donated. Kandi said it was weird that Sheree never asked her for a donation. Apparently the fact that it was a charity event wasn’t a big enough of a hint that she was supposed to donate something.
Sheree is a horrible dancer, but like most of the self absorbed women on this show, she has no idea. But in Sheree’s defense, the routine itself was awful. I don’t know if anyone could have made that look good.
I don’t know which Atlanta stylist has been telling these women that it’s ok to stick huge flowers on their heads, but it’s not ok people. Unless you live in Jersey and are under the age of 10 or are on vacation in Hawaii, flowers on the head is a no-no.
Next week Sheree’s “doctor” boyfriend and Fakedra are both outted for being fake ass phoney liars. Fakedra is gonna give birth on camera and I’m already laughing thinking about the faces she’s gonna make.