The Real Housewives of Atlanta – At Least We Didn’t Have To Hear Kim Sing In This One

I don’t know if I’m just on a high from all the insanity of the last few days or if this episode really was as boring as it seemed, but I had to drink two espresso’s just to get through this recap.

Sheree calls her oldest daughter and tells her that she has a surprise for her. Tiara or whatever her name is shows up to see Sheree sitting on the hood of a car that had already been repossessed by the time the episode aired. Let me tell you, if someone told me they had a surprise for me, and I pulled up to see a new car sitting in front of me and the surprise turned out to be that they bought the car for themselves, I would be pissssed.

Kim gives her family a tour of her newly decorated house. First stop is the shrine she built to herself complete with a solid gold altar adorned with her glamour shots. She calls it her “office” but that’s ridiculous, why would Kim need an office? And if any of you have a problem with her shrine you can “Eat shit and die”. If you didn’t watch the show – I didn’t make that up. Kim actually said that.

The younger daughter also got a room makeover. Kim decided that since she’s getting older it was time for her to upgrade to a big girl room. This is Kim’s version of a big girl room:
Kim says this cost $60k. What?! How? I think shop owners automatically double their prices when Kim walks in because they know she’s the type of person who only likes something if it’s expensive.

The older kid is mad because apparently the 2,000 square foot 3 room 1 bath apartment she lives in isn’t decorated nice enough. Anyone who was wondering how women like Kesley’s wife turn out the way they do – this is how.

NeNe and Cynthia’s sister help prepare a surprise engagement for her even though they know she’ll hate it. Maybe I’m wrong, but I would think that a public proposal should either be in front of a whole lot of people, or just family. Not like 4 random friends who don’t know each other and a Power Puff Girl. The whole thing was just weird.

When Cynthia realized what was going on she flat out tells Peter that she doesn’t want to be proposed to like this. But she doesn’t care and drags her over in front of the fire place and asks the question anyway.

Cynthia was like Yeah I guess I’ll marry you since you put me on the spot in front of television cameras. So who made the ring?

I did it my way. I knew she would hate it but I did it MY way.
$
100 says this marriage won’t last 24 months. If the guy is being this selfish about the proposal, just imagine what the rest of the marriage will be like. And NeNe is just waiting for that split to happen so she can get her hands all over Peter. Season 4 is gonna be great!

There wasn’t too much of Fakedra in this episode, but she didn’t fail to disappoint with the faces. The southern belle explains that she will be giving birth soon since the baby is ready to claw it’s way out of her vagina. Classy.

Fakedra’s packing designer underwear and lingerie for her stay in the hospital because she deserves it. Is it wrong of me to hope she gets afterbirth juice, breast milk, and baby puke all over those expensive nightgowns? Fakedra and her friend (I know, I was surprised that she has a friend too) had a whole conversation about 50 cent pieces and belly bands that made absolutely no sense to me. But I eat from cans so what do I know?

And what is going on with Fakedra’s boobs? She has cleavage showing at the top of her shirt, and then like an indent where the bottom half of the boob should be. Weird.

And just for fun:

Bravo is really trying to capitalize on the whole Dancing craze in this episode. Dear Bravo and Andy Cohen: if anyone cared about seeing Sheree dance she would being on Dancing With The Stars. You owe us extra drama next week for making us sit through this crap.

Kandi is still carrying out her plan to make Kim jealous by turning Lawrence into a “star”. Kandi never shuts the hell up about Kim. This is bordering on a Jacqueline/Danielle type of obsession right now and it’s getting old. She literally hasn’t talked about anything other than Kim this entire season except that one scene where she talked about her baby daddy.

You gotta sing better than that chain smoking Kim, ok? And you can’t play this CD for the whole world like Kim did… that bitch…. ok? And you gotta actually work, unlike lazy ass Kim, ok? And you gotta pay me too, unlike that cheap money hungry Kim, ok? Oh, btw, how do you feel about performing in a blond wig?

Everyone shows up at Sheree’s dancing thing. NeNe brought Greg because it’s easier to drag him along than to explain to everyone why he isn’t there. 

The time comes to make a donation and NeNe insists that no one donates more than $20. She’s broke and she doesn’t want to look like a cheap ass all by herself. And surprisingly, everyone went along with it. But then Kandi went and talked shit in her interview as though her $20 was somehow better than the $20 NeNe donated. Kandi said it was weird that Sheree never asked her for a donation. Apparently the fact that it was a charity event wasn’t a big enough of a hint that she was supposed to donate something.

Sheree is a horrible dancer, but like most of the self absorbed women on this show, she has no idea. But in Sheree’s defense, the routine itself was awful. I don’t know if anyone could have made that look good.

Just saying…

I don’t know which Atlanta stylist has been telling these women that it’s ok to stick huge flowers on their heads, but it’s not ok people. Unless you live in Jersey and are under the age of 10 or are on vacation in Hawaii, flowers on the head is a no-no.

The other women didn’t even try to pretend to like the Sheree’s dance:

Kim found a new sugar daddy with a nice ass who doesn’t mind showing his face on camera so the night wasn’t a complete waste.

Next week Sheree’s “doctor” boyfriend and Fakedra are both outted for being fake ass phoney liars. Fakedra is gonna give birth on camera and I’m already laughing thinking about the faces she’s gonna make.

Kim, Kandi, Cynthia, and Sheree’s Bravo Blog highlights

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66 Responses to The Real Housewives of Atlanta – At Least We Didn’t Have To Hear Kim Sing In This One

  1. tweatcyn says:

    I need to make myself a new avatar pic with big-ass Lily sticking outa my Bumpit.

  2. bacasam says:

    no you’re right it is booorrring. As usual you did the best with what you had to work with. Personal LOL was the pic of TG’s prima dona next to Sheeree(sp? whatever forget how many e’s in the name). RHA not interesting in any form or fashion(comment on flowers in the hair spot on) this season. To me it’s like someone having misc. puzzle pieces laying around in a box and desperately trying to make some pic out of it, not pretty total mess. Probably will hit and miss watching it here on out, just follow my fav (your’re #1, you’re#1) hobby blogs. My apologies for your wasted time in advance … perhaps can jump from expresso to your fave adult beverage to pass the time in a more productive way.

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  4. Tam5115 says:

    -Power Puff Girl-

    LMAO

  5. Damnert says:

    ” Is it wrong of me to hope she gets afterbirth juice, breast milk, and baby puke all over those expensive nightgowns?”

    I keep laughing so hard my dawg gave me a strange look and ran in the other room.

  6. AngryOldMan says:

    I’m certainly the odd man out here – maybe the only man anyway – but I kinda liked the episode. Not so much for what actually happened as for the subtext. Like:

    1) Sheree seems to have gotten a pass on this grown ass daughter who came out of nowhere. While long rumored, Sheree never mentioned this Tiara before. [Funny story. I once knew a woman named Princess who named her daughter Tiara. I think the son was Scepter.] Anyway, it seems like a big secret to let out but this season has treated it as “oh yeah, I’ve got a daughter I had when I was 16. No biggie.”

    2) What was up with the football player? Kim asked to see his ass and he, somewhat effeminately, agrees then twirls around to show it off. I know he’s used to tight pants and does have a nice ass, but still. Gay men seem to love Kim and, well, I’m just sayin.

    3) Great catch on Nene and Peter. Nene’s lust was exhibited for a reason.

    4) Anyone else think Phaedra got an upper lip injection? It just looks as plastic as Kim from the waist up.

    5) Poor Cynthia. Poor, poor, poor Cynthia. This can’t go well.

    Great recap, as usual! After the past few days, can’t be easy to gear up again. Thanks for all your efforts you hobby blogger.

    • Thanks 😀

      1 – I did think the daughter coming out of no where was weird. But like you said – Sheree was like “no biggie” so I was like; oh ok, I guess it’s not a big deal then. Well played Sheree… well played.
      2 – Kim was so agressive I think he was afraid of what would happen if he didn’t twirl when she told him to
      3 – She was totally flirting with him at the charity dinner too!
      4 – I think Fakedra needs an entire face injection of botox
      5 – Agree

      • WindyCityWondering says:

        IIRC – first season Sheree’s long lost daughter was introduced a a “family” friend. Sheree got busted for that so I guess it is no biggie now!

        • I didn’t see that. I didn’t really watched Atlanta religiously before this season.

        • Need a Hobby says:

          Yes, I remember that. She kept her daughter on the DL for some reason. (Well Sheree was what, 15 or so when she had her?)

          Anyway, now it’s like instant adult daughter. But she (the daughter) seems to have her head on straight so good for her.

      • Nika says:

        First time commenting. Love the blog too! Sheree’s daughter has been known about on “ethnic” blogs since the first season. In a scene th first season you can see her in the kitchen but she’s not listed as Sheree’s daughter. Sheree was also known as a booster back in Ohio as a teenager.

        It was reported the daughter was hurt when Sheree told her to kick rocks and not to refer to her as mom, once the first season started. If this is true I’m more mad at the daughter than Sheree!

        • Welcome to the blog!

          So I guess Sheree was embarrassed about having a daughter when she was young, but since 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom became so popular Sheree thinks it’s cool now. That’s probably what happened. Trying to cash in on Dancing With The Stars and Teen Mom popularity. She’s sneaky that Sheree.
          And what is a booster?

    • Need a Hobby says:

      Yeah, poor Cynthia. When your natural reaction to a marriage proposal is like you just learned your favorite aunt had died, it’s not a good sign. And in the more recent episode it’s like she’s trying to convince herself that she’s happy. And then she went & got hitched. Oy.

      Hope she was smart and had him sign a pre-nup. Seriously.

      • DarkSonnet says:

        That whole entire scene was just painful on so many levels. I am still trying to interpret the facial expression of Cynthia’s sister during all scenes relating to the marriage subject and Peter.

        She has this same expression and basically says very little during the conversations.

        Anybody have any ideas?

  7. “Bravo, you owe us extra drama next week just for sitting thru this crap!” omg
    that was so funny…………… seriously, the episode was really boring, but your re-caps never are.
    I loved the series of Phaedra faces, reminds me of Mickeys Kandi faces post.
    I wonder if Bravo editing has anything to do w/ Kandi’s Kim obsession?
    But honestly, I would be just as put out as Kandi appears to be. Kim really has a chip on her shoulder.
    I hope i live long enough to watch Kim get old and ugly

  8. WindyCityWondering says:

    Phaedra said while showing us her collection of underwear from the stars that she wanted to raise a country baby. What exactly is a country baby?

  9. Duchess of Dryer Lint says:

    Did our favorite psycho, ummm, I mean pro-blogger just make her wordpress blog private? It is saying you need an invite to view it?!

  10. Salish says:

    I love the screencaps! LOL at Fakedra’s faces. We def need a comic strip for her.

    I can’t wait for Beverly Hills tonight. Did anyone else think that when Kyle was getting hypnotized for her fear of flying that E-meter thing looked kinda Scientology like? I remember when I was in Pasadena some randoms came up to me and my girlfriends and made us hold 2 metal batons and asked us questions and watched our stress level. Then a homeless guy walked by and was throwing a dead bird up and down and the randoms were watching our stress level as he walked by. We freaked out and left, then we watched the randoms slip the homeless guy some money then pointed at another group of girls. Then some strangers told us we just got bamboozled by Scientologists.

    Sorry for the ramble, but I wonder wtf that stress thing was she had.

  11. Mama says:

    Now THIS is a recap!

    If I hadn’t already been made aware that ShhRay had had an Aston Martin seized I, too, would have thought the car was for her daughter. When my kids get older I am going to do that too: “I have a surprise for you!” “You do? What is it Mama?” “Your father and I are going to Disneyworld! See you when we get back!”. On second thought maybe I won’t. I actually love my children more than I love myself. This car is exhibit B of how ShhRay treats her children. Exhibit A is the first season of RHOA where Tierra wasn’t ShhRay’s daughter but a ‘friend’. ShhRay’s vanity trumped any maternal pride she may have had and the change in status came about only after their actual relationship was made public. What a great mom she is.

  12. Mary Jane says:

    Someone please explain to me how Kim’s daughter’s bedroom cost $60,000? On what? Bedding? Instead of throwing her money away she should be stashing it somewhere safe, the day that she stops attracting sugar daddies isn’t that far off.

    • Salish says:

      No kidding! $60,000 for that! I’d be so pissed if I paid someone 60 g’s and it turned out like that. Those ho’s look so easy to scam, they just brag about the cost.. not the looks

      • fashion42 says:

        The funny thing is- I’m sure she thinks it looks “high class” and expensive/luxurious or whatever.

        I mean look at Teresas tacky ass marble mansion. Clearly she loves showing it off because she thinks its FABULOSITY!!

        These women have the money to hire professionals to decorate their homes, why the hell don’t they? Housewives Fail.

    • WindyCityWondering says:

      At Bravo the magic number is $60,000 – Taylor’s birthday party, Kim’s daughter’s bedroom……excuse me while I go get a $60,000 Diet Coke out of the fridge.>:>:>aahhhhh!

  13. justanothermary says:

    I still really want an explanation on Fakdra’s due date. I mean WTF? No Dr. is going to pull a kid at 7mos and why is it necessary to lie. Does she really think anyone is buying this line of BS? I did do some checking though and apparently the gestation period of spider monkey is 7mos. Things that make you go hmmmmm.

  14. I'm not you says:

    I swear. 😉

  15. I swear must be a doppleganger?

  16. Not Lynn says:

    Well heck.

  17. Not Wall St Lady says:

    Things that are creepy.

    • j_dumbasshly says:

      Wall Street Lady, are you okay?

      Cuz you ARE Wall St. Lady because that quilt is unique to you –> only.

      Are you the one posting above as Lynn Hudson and RCH dogglegangers? RCH can see the IP address. It will match your quilt.

  18. LurkerAlso says:

    Oh. Brother.

    NOT interesting. NOT funny. Yawn.

  19. mamaluvshockey says:

    I love your blogs! So damn funny! I just stumbled onto this somehow, but will now have to follow you for future blog entries. And I’m sorry, but every picture of Phaedra makes her look like she’s taking a shit!! LOL

    • housewifeaddict says:

      It’s be hard to get a photo of her without her making those funny faces. I think she must practice all day to get it right.

  20. housewifeaddict says:

    Maybe this episode was the calm one before the crazy breaks out. It’s sort of unbelievable they didn’t drop Sheree along with Lisa. YAWN all season so far. Maybe she’ll go all crazy on her fake boyfriend for us next week – it’s that or an episode of Phaedra giving birth. Well Phaedra hiring someone to give birth for her. Oh wait – that’s the other show across the country. Yawn again.

  21. fashion42 says:

    I have a tipsy revelation- Anyone watch Curb Your Enthusiasm? Well, Susie (Jeff’s wife) IS EVERYTHING A BRAVO REAL HOUSEWIFE IS. The difference? Susie is a character, a made for TV character for people to laugh at and hate. ON PURPOSE. Her character was made for this purpose by skillful writers. There is even a professional in charge of all of her tacky outfits, with the goal of making sure they are tacky and silly looking for a woman of her age. (the housewives get the laughs, haters, and tacky outfits themselves!)

    Okay perhaps I misspoke…misstyped? Some housewives DO have someone picking out all their outfits- this make it more sad, because they pay someone to put them in clothes that look tacky and age-inappropriate but they think they look young and hot or whatever their goal is.

    The TV character Susie is loud mouthed, curses, says obnoxious tacky things, lives in the big house, has a hubby who makes all the money, wears the gaudy age-inappropriate clothes.
    Susie is the original housewife. I’m not going to check but I think Curb has been around longer than the Housewives franchise. So yes she is the original!

    I find it HILARIOUS that a lot of Bravo Housewives are clearly proud of themselves and think they are putting their BEST (most FABULICIOUS) foot forward on camera, when they end up looking like a joke version of what they want to be. (AKA they think they look like “a class” individual- or whatever Kim’s dad said HAH- but really they just look like a tacky, embarrassing, laughing stock!)

    Seriously watch an episode of Curb that is Susie heavy, and think about any housewife we love to snark about! You’ll see it!

    (Disclaimer: I’m a tipsy college student that got home from the bar, decided to watch a little Curb…and this is the result! Sorry if this make no sense whatsoever)

  22. LilyLynn says:

    Aw, I liked this episode. My husband happened to walk into the room just as Kim was was giving nice-ass guy her number and then is shown (in talking head) saying something like “Of course he called, wouldn’t you?” He burst out laughing and then sat and watched the rest of the show with me! He never does that, in fact I routinely get ridiculed for watching these shows, so I usually hide my stash from him and watch alone, in secret. So, yes, I liked this episode – lol. I do stick up for myself though – whenever husband catches me and makes some snide remark, I’m able to counter with the fact that he watches Myth Busters – I show that once explored whether farting in the tub can kill you! Haaahaaa – take that mister!

    • Jeana (@LuvToLoveU) says:

      YESSSSS,
      I will have to use that line now with my husband! He just shakes his head when he sees episodes of Real Housewives on our DVR.

      Thanks 🙂

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  24. missmi says:

    Someone please explain to me where Kim gets all her money? Are we truly to believe that she has all of this from Big Poppa? Also, what is a booster?

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