Over at Kesley’s wife’s house she is explaining to her lover how upset she is that he couldn’t find time to meet her in Hawaii. He wants to know if anyone in Vegas caught onto their little love affair. She thinks they got away with it. She then tells him about the made-up conversation she had with Kyle and about all the questions she asked about her Hawaii trip. Like anyone with a guilty conscience, a few friendly questions felt like an interrogation to her.
Over at another store Kim and Adrienne partake in the most awkward and uncomfortable shopping experience I’ve ever had to watch. We are finally relieved of the discomfort when Adrienne’s uncle dies and the she has to leave.
Adrienne calls Kelsey’s wife to let her know that she won’t be able to come on the New York trip because of her uncle’s death. Kelsey’s wife is so upset because this totally screws with her plans. It’s really hard when you make plans and then something like death interferes. She really hopes that nothing else goes wrong for her, her life is already hard enough as it is.
Lisa decides to hire a hypnotist to help Kyle get over her fear of flying. Unfortunately her plan to make her quack like a duck didn’t quite pan out the way she had hoped. Too bad. That would have been pretty funny.
Kelsey’s wife arrives in New York and complains about how small their apartment is. She doesn’t have room for all 18 of her nannies, her house manager, her chef, her cell phone holder, her drink pourer, her food taster, her purse carrier, and her two friends who follow her everywhere. Plus there is no guest house to hide her lover in. She explains that she can’t possibly spend an entire year in such a small place. I can’t help but imagine that that must have been part of Kesley’s plan.
In his interview, a beaten down and abused Kelsey stairs at the floor as he explains the hell and torment he has endured at the hands of that woman for the last 13 years. He almost got away from her – but like always she managed to track him down, redecorate his apartment, and then force him to listen to her complain.
The women all check in for their flight. When it’s Lisa’s turn the lady behind the counter asks her if she’s flown with them before and she explains that not only does she fly Virgin all the time, but Sir Richard and her are good friends. Fabulous. Love Lisa.
Kesley’s wife decides to bring her cancer stricken mother along to watch her get her nails done. She explains how hard it is on her to deal with the fact that her mother has cancer. You know, she has all those houses to travel between, she has to check in with her nannies once a day to make sure the kids are still alive, and of all things – she’s still on Hawaii time. So obviously her mother getting cancer is just the last thing she needs to deal with right now. Poor thing.
The women finally arrive in New York and Kyle pulls Kesley’s wife aside to discuss her paranoid delusions. I love how she closed the bedroom door before speaking as though this was going to be a private conversation.
Kelsey’s wife explains that she really believes that Kyle insulted her and that she had to talk about the situation behind Kyle’s back instead of calling her and discussing it directly because she’s really, deathly, morbidly shy. That’s also why she can’t let loose and dance like a wild woman at parties, or prance around in skimpy bikini’s in front of camera crews.
She also reveals that she feels like an outsider with the other women. Kyle then makes the fateful mistake of confusing feeling like an outsider and being shy with being insecure. Crazy how she could draw a connection between the two. Just unimaginable. But for now it’s all ok, because Kelsey’s wife needs time to process, rearrange, and reconstruct Kyle’s words before she can get upset about them.
Kelsey’s wife really lets her BSC flag fly at dinner and it’s clear that she has been dipping into KKB’s satchels of gold while in NYC as she accuses Kyle of calling her insecure. She seems to legitimately not understand why on earth Kyle would say such a thing to her. She just can’t make the connection. Kyle is obviously mad because they literally just made up over the last fake insult and now here she is accusing her of another one. Kyle tells her that she’s crazy and that she needs a therapist. And with that – Kelsey’s wife declares herself the winner of the argument. Kyle got mad and she didn’t which means she wins and Kyle loses. I wonder if it’s hard for the people interviewing her not to laugh at the shit she says?
And somewhere in the world Kelsey Grammer is laughing his ass off going: “Yes! Finally the world will see what I’ve been dealing with!” I gotta say, cheating is wrong under any circumstance, but I hate Kesley a little bit less after seeing what he’s had to endure. Well played Kelsey, well played.
Next week Kim and Taylor join the fight and Taylor threatens to get all Oklahoma on her ass. If getting Brooklyn on someone’s ass means beating them up, what do you think getting Oklahoma on their ass means? Tipping them like a cow? Singing them some country music?