The show starts with Kandi in her studio. She’s still plotting different ways to get back at Kim, and her newest scheme is to bring in Laurence and make Kim jealous by giving him a song that would have been good for Kim and market him towards Kim’s gay fan base. She even scheduled over lapping appointments to be sure that Kim saw Laurence there.
Kim arrives, see’s Laurence, and isn’t happy that he’s there. Score 1 for Kandi. Kandi then plays Kim the awful song she wrote for her which she knows no one will ever want to listen to and Kim will never be able to sing anyway. In her voice over she said she wanted to challenge Kim, but what she really means is that she wanted to embarrass her.
After everyone got a good laugh out of Kim’s sad attempts to carry a tune, Kandi and Kim sit down and Kandi tells her that she has a hearing problem and needs a voice transplant. She suggests Kim visits the voice coach from season one who told her she sucks and momentarily managed to shatter her delusional self-confidence. Kim suffers flashbacks of the trauma she endured at the hands of that woman and gets upset. Score 3 for Kandi.
Kandi is really going through a lot of trouble to do anything other than say “Kim, you didn’t pay me for the song, it wasn’t right, and it hurts my feelings because we are supposed to be friends.”
Next we meet the worlds best baby daddy. Cynthia is still bla bla blaing about whether or not she should get married. OMG. If you are living with the guy and he is helping you raise your daughter and you own a business together then either marriage should be a no brainer, or you probably shouldn’t be living with him.
Fakedra meets with the reject from Destiny’s Child to try to help her plan a one woman show. Ok, now I’m confused… I thought she was a lawyer. What the hell does this woman actually do for a living? I’m starting to think she just rents office space and holds meetings for whatever people feel like meeting about. Drug arrest? Sure, come on in. You wanna be famous like Beyonce? No problem, I can make that happen.
NeNe and Kim go out to lunch and NeNe clearly wants to talk about her marriage problems. But Kim keeps finding a way to turn everything NeNe says into a conversation about her relationship with Big Poppa. Kim is the kind of friend you call when you want to go out and have a good time. She is not the friend you call when you have a problem. NeNe should know this by now.
Guess what? Kim is a hoarder! Except unlike Dina she has the good sense to hide her dirty little secret away in a storage unit instead of displaying it all over her house and blaming it on her “decorating skills”.
Peter tells Cynthia that he doesn’t want to look like the old dude getting married. I think he most definitely wants to look like the old dude. There is no other explanation for that beard. Has he never heard of Just For Men? Or a razor?
Fakedra show up at the parking lot garage sale and actually says her first semi-intelligent statement of the season when she questions why Kim would be selling such expensive stuff in a parking lot instead of at an Estate Sale.
But then Fakedra completely loses any tiny microscopic points she may have earned with her brief moment of sanity as she quickly tries to convince the women that since the baby now weights 8 lbs at 7 months, it’s time for him to be forced out of her womb with labor inducing drugs. When she see’s that the women aren’t 100% convinced of her story she adds that Apollo was actually born 3 months early weighing 9 lbs, so clearly super human development just runs in the family.
Fakedra says in her interview that the only reason the women are so interested in her due date is because none of them have jobs and they need to do something to keep themselves occupied. Well I think it’s good that someone is paying attention to the due date of that baby, since it’s mother clearly isn’t.
Between Fakedra’s inability to tell a believable lie and her failure to support her lies under questioning, I think it’s safe to say that Fakedra’s client list will be rapidly diminishing as these shows air.
After the other women leave, Kandi shows up at the garage sale. Kim tells her that she doesn’t like the new song Kandi wrote for her. Kandi said: “Yeah well that’s what $0.00 will get you these days. Gimme half of your Tardy for The Party money and I’ll make you a decent song.”
I’m lying, she didn’t say that. Instead Kandi did her little passive aggressive eye rolls, interview shit talking, and insisted that she really didn’t purposely give Kim a song that sucked.
Eventually Greg gets up and retreats to the basement where he apparently now lives. NeNe explains to Cynthia how upset she is that Greg refuses to communicate with her. If only Greg were as good of a communicator as NeNe they wouldn’t be having these problems. *sigh*
Next week Fakedra prepares for the birth of a baby she doesn’t want to have, Cynthia plans a wedding to a man she doesn’t want to marry, and Sheree dances in front of people even though she hates dancing.
On the bright side, it looks as though Kandi’s hair has a taken a small step closer to normal.
There is a new account on Twitter if you want to follow @FakedraParks