Kim goes to Kandi’s house to participate in her online radio show. Once she finally finds the correct door, she sits down and immediately Kandi wants to talk about Kim’s vajayjay and whether or not she has something called “beef curtains” (gag me now). Why on earth Kandi would want to talk about these things, or know if Kim has them or not is beyond my comprehension. After we all get a nice description of Kim’s lady parts, everyone accuses her of being an accomplice to cheating. Kandi is passive aggressively paying Kim back for keeping all that Tardy For The Party money she never got.
Fakedra wants to take pregnancy pictures but is too klassy to take a picture with her belly exposed, so she decides to deep throat a pickle instead. That’s how Southern Belle’s do it, didn’t you know?
WARNING: Please have a trash can, a glass of water, and some crackers prepared before continuing.
Sheree is still dating Dr. Ty-EewwwYukGross Mohamad. He is apparently homeless so he decided to cook her dinner at his friends
house apartment. Not only does this guy not own a home, he can’t even borrow one.
Sheree must be reeeeeally lonely to be putting up with this crap.
Kandi has an inappropriate scene with her young daughter. She made her sing (poorly) in front of the camera and talk about her relationship (or lack there of) with her father. This scene, in addition to the constant two faced-ness regarding the Kim situation is really changing my opinion of Kandi. That, and her hair… oh that hair!
Kim takes Arianna to buy furniture for her bedroom. All Arianna wants is a picture of a chicken wing on the wall and a baseball chair. If she’s not gay, she is going to make some man very happy one day.
Cynthia plans a Mother’s Day lunch. Kim bails and uses Brielle being sick as an excuse – again. My guess is that Big Poppa showed up with a nice piece of jewelry and a romantic date planned and she ditched the kids with her assistant to go out with him.
The women all show up and eat their Mother’s Day lunch outside in the rain without the men or the kids… or Cynthia’s sister who was clearly there, but I guess was not invited to sit at the cool girls table. High school all over again…. sigh.
Fakedra isn’t sure how long she’s been pregnant and thinks it will be ok to force the baby out at 6 months. Apparently in her mangled mess of a brain getting pregnant before your wedding is a worse offense than intentionally giving birth to a premature baby. Like NeNe said, lawyers are supposed to be good liars. I feel bad for whoever has to go to court with her by their side.
All this time I thought you weren’t supposed to talk with your mouth full! Now I know that the classy Southern thing to do is stick your fingers up your nose and put your hand in front of your mouth. Thanks for the manners lesson Fakedra!
Fakedra, in an attempt to add “disgusting” to her “ignorant bitch” title, describes how she uses powdered sugar during oral sex so that it mixes with her… (I don’t even want to say it)… “juices” to create a sweet syrup for Apollo. As if the pickle visual wasn’t enough, I really needed to hear this too Bravo? Seriously?!!
Overall, this episode was a total barf fest. Between beef curtains, Dr. Creepy’s exposed torso, Fakedras lips sucking on pickles, moms with dildo’s, and powdered sugar being put into the scary places nightmares are made of….. I need to go take a shower. Or get some therapy. I’m not sure which. But I am traumatized.