The Real Housewives of DC – Q&A With The Salahi’s

I know you were expecting a part 2 of The Real Housewives of DC reunion, but unfortunately there wasn’t one. In it’s place was a Question & Answer segment with the Salahi’s hosted by Andy Cohen. (I use the term “answer” lightly, because, while there were responses provided to the questions, there were not any legitimate answers actually given).

Tareq joins the women on the couch despite Lynda’s protests. But she has Ebong waiting in the wings should Tareq happen to find a glass of wine to throw at her.

Tareq is allowed an opening statement before we get started. He proclaims how despicable it is for anyone to accuse another person of lying about being sick. A persons health is something that should never, ever be questioned. And if that sick person should chose to use their health as an excuse for bad behavior, that should not be questioned either. To question another persons health is just wrong, and un-American.
He says he wishes he could take Michaele’s illness into his body. Michaele fake cries. It was very touching.

Ok, so onto the Q&A:

First Question: Why didn’t you pay for Paul Wharton’s birthday party?

Answer: Michaele was one for 4 co-hosts and her part was to provide the wine.

Andy: The women claim there was no Oasis wine there that night. And an email from the venue says they never received any wine.

Tareq: The venue and the women are lying.

Next Question: Why didn’t you provide Stacie with a letter from the bank proving that you could afford to purchase a 8 million dollar home?

Answer: Stacie never sent an email asking for the letter.

Andy: And what about the fact that we just watched her ask for the letter on the clip that was just played 36 seconds ago?

Tareq: The real truth?

Andy: Yes, the real truth.

Tareq: We were working with another real estate agent and we gave the letter to them.

Next question: Where are you living now?

Answer: Mumbles… half sentences… random words….

Andy: Do you own a home?

Tareq: Yes.

Andy: Do you have your name on a deed?

Tareq: We have a residence at Oasis. We also have a secret farm house that no one knows about.

Question: What happened to the large house in your audition tape?

Michaele: It’s still there.

Andy: But is that your house?

Michaele: Not anymore.

Andy: So you sold it?

Michaele: Yes

Cat: It was never your house.

Michaele: Where are you living Cat? I heard you were living in Lynda’s basement!

Stacie: They do not have a deed recorded in their name. I checked MLS. Neither of them has ever owned a house. Ever. They’re squatters on his mom’s property. It’s true!

Tareq: We have a deed. It’s a OTR deed. You can’t find it on MLS. You have to be a White House realtor to gain access to that information.

Question: So TMZ said that you are $900,000 in debt and owe $81,000 on credit cards.

Tareq: That was Oasis Enterprises Inc vs Oasis Vineyard Inc.

Andy: Are you bankrupt?

Tareq: The companies are bankrupt.

Lynda: Why are you buying 7 carat diamond bracelets when you owe people money?

Tareq: Because under bankruptcy law you aren’t allowed to pay your bills. It’s illegal.

Stacie: But as a decent human being you should pay your bills.

Tareq: It’s not about not paying bills. It’s about being legally correct. It wouldn’t be fair to pay some bills and not others, so clearly the only option we had was to pay no one and buy jewelry instead.

Question: Do you realize there is a huge difference between your reality and the way you portray yourselves on tv?

Tareq: People think making wine is glamorous, but the truth is it’s agriculture.

Andy goes to break so that he can bang his head against the wall for a minute.

When we come back all the husbands have joined the Q&A, expect for Cat’s because her black heart drove him away. Now that Rich is present, we can talk about Lolly without breaking any man rules.

Question: Why did you think Lolly stole your car?

Tareq: Lolly posted a message on a facebook photo that said “I can’t believe you wore that hat to L2

Andy: How exactly does this comment implicate Lolly?

Tareq: Because how else would she know the hat was stolen?

Andy: But how is that comment proof that she knew the hat was stolen or that she went on a joy ride in the stolen car?

Tareq: Well, the FBI was investigating.

Andy: Um, ok… Do you think you owe Mary and Rich an apology?

Tareq: We thought it was better to tell them in person than for them to hear it from someone else.

Andy: Is that your apology?

Michaele: I’m sorry that it was brought up on camera.

Tareq: Well we would be sorry if it turns out that Lolly had nothing to do with it. But she may have been the mastermind. We don’t know yet. We are waiting to hear back from the CIA.

Andy: But the police and The Washington Post are claiming that Lolly had nothing to do with it.

Tareq: Well obviously the CIA doesn’t inform the local police of their OTR investigations. That just doesn’t happen. And you can’t believe anything the Washington Post says because they were the ones who started those crazy rumors that we crashed the White House.

Andy suggests we just move on because clearly Tareq is never going to apologize for the Lolly situation and there are still 6847302 more things he has been accused of that need to be discussed.

Next Question: Gay Jason said you snuck into the black caucus dinner and were then escorted out by secret service. Is this true?

Tareq: We were never escorted out of the party. Gay Jason was just being dramatic, you know how those gays are.

Andy: So you are saying Gay Jason is a liar?

Tareq: Absolutely, 1,000%, no question about it.

Andy: That’s interesting, because Lance Jones, the director of communications for the congressional black caucus foundation says that you were asked to leave the event by security after it was discovered that you didn’t have tickets.

Tareq: Well clearly that guy is a liar too.

Andy: How many tickets did you have that night?

Tareq: We were the guests of the Gardner Law Group.

Andy: Did you have 4 tickets?

Tareq: Paul Gardner had cleared the invitation for the other two.

Stacie: Did you have 4 tickets? Yes or no?

Michaele: I had a ticket and a seat.

Stacie: 4 tickets – Yes or no?

Michaele: Well I never saw a ticket. You’ll have to ask Paul Gardner about that. And while you’re at it, ask him if he’s seen my bra please.

Question: But don’t you think it’s just an amazing coincidence that Gay Jason and the guy from the black caucus are telling the same lie about you? Isn’t that weird?

Tareq: No not at all. It happens all the time. People love to lie about me.

Once again, we go to break for some much needed xanax and scotch. We return and get to the main question everyone has been asking for the last year:

Question: Did you crash the White House?

Answer: No. It was a series of misunderstandings by the White House, not the Salahi’s.

Finally! Honesty! It is true that there was a series of misunderstandings by government officials working for the White House in which they accidentally allowed two uninvited people into the party.

Andy: Did you get to meet the president?

Michaele: We met him before in 2005.

Andy: Did you lie about having a physical invitation?

Michaele: I didn’t know what we had.

Andy: But you said you had a physical invitation.

Michaele: Well I didn’t know what he had. I just do what he says.

Andy: But you looked for the invitation in the car.

Michaele: No, I was looking for an email. The email was the invitation.

Andy: So is the invitation email is in the book written by Diane Diamond?

Tareq: She published all the emails in the book.

Andy: Ok, because I read the book like 10 times and there was no email inviting you to the White House.

Tareq: Well what happened was I called Michaele Jones’ office and asked the secretary which gate we should arrive at for the party. The secretary told me to go to Gate B at 6:30. And when Michaele called the White House to ask about the dress code they told her it would be appropriate if she wore a red sari. So if we weren’t invited, why did they Michaele what to wear and tell me what time to arrive? Huh? If they didn’t want us to come they sure have a funny way of showing it. Seriously. There is your proof right there.

Question: Ok, but the truth is you really didn’t have any confirmation that you were invited. So why still go?

Michaele: We were always invited to be a part of the receiving line. It was just the actual dinner that we were waiting on confirmation for.

Andy: But the emails don’t say anything about being invited to stand in the receiving line.

Tareq: That conversation took place over a phone call.

Andy: How can you guys seriously still claim that you thought you were invited?

Tareq: Our names were on the OTR list. It’s a secret list. Like Michaele’s secret illness, her secret work for MS awareness, and our secret farm house.

Cat: Have you ever been officially invited to the White House?

Michaele: I used to work there in the 90’s.


Michaele: No, I’ve never been officially invited. Only secretly invited.

Andy: Ok but you didn’t sit down for dinner at the White House. Is that because you weren’t invited?

Michaele: No, it’s because I don’t like lentil soup.

Andy: Ok, so you left because you didn’t like the food?

Michaele: No, I left because I wasn’t feeling well.

Andy: Do you feel guilty that people lost their jobs or that Cat was uninvited to the Christmas party as a result of your crashing?

Michaele: No one lost their job and Cat wasn’t uninvited. Obama has too much love in his heart to uninvited someone. It was Cat’s husband who uninvited her, he just used Obama as an excuse. Besides, anyone can go to the White House Christmas party. It’s not like you have to be on a list or anything.

Andy: So if you’re not guilty, then why did you plead the 5th?

Tareq: We really wanted to answer the questions. Unfortunately we were only authorized to answer certain questions and the authorized questions were never asked.

Andy: But they asked you “are you in the room right now?” and you pleaded the 5th.

Tareq: That question was not on the list of authorized questions.

Andy: Why couldn’t you just answer “yes we had an invitation?”

Michaele: Our lawyers and the White House said that they needed the whole situation to go away and they were respecting that. We pleaded the 5th as a personal favor to Obama. Congress was only asking us questions because the public wanted to know if the whole thing was a publicity stunt.

Andy: No, the public wanted to know if you crashed the White House.

Tareq: No, the public wanted to know if it was an audition. That’s why congress was questioning us. Because they work for the people, and the people wanted to know if it was an audition. It was the biggest story of the year.

Andy: I think the bigger story was whether or not you snuck into the White House.

Tareq: The biggest story of the entire decade was whether or not it was a publicity stunt.

Andy: It really wasn’t

Let’s blow this joint and go smoke one! High fives!

Andy finally realized he was never going to get anywhere with the Salahi’s and threw his note cards up in the air. He spent 5 minutes talking to the other women, but none of them had anything interesting to say. So he ended the show.

The End

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147 Responses to The Real Housewives of DC – Q&A With The Salahi’s

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention The Real Housewives of DC – Q&A With The Salahi’s #RHODC | --

  2. Squirrels says:

    Too, too funny! Best of all, I didnt’ see it and still don’t know what to believe. Oddly enough? I don’t care.

    Thumbs up

  3. ilovelynn says:

    first one. yay! been waiting for this all weekend. thank you ,thank you ,thank you, real housewife! you outdo yourself everytime! tears running down cheeks and again with the wine on the keyboard! (I either have to stop drinking, or read your posts before 5 pm…..ok, it’s only 4:30 here in nj, but it’s 5pm somewhere!)

  4. ilovelynn says:

    hi squirrels! by the time I clicked you got in there first! good to see you!

    • tuzentswurth says:

      Who the hell is the heavy thumb bandit and why would they not like this post?

      • Jeana (@LuvToLoveU) says:

        I wasn’t suppose to tell but it’s Jill Zarin. She has a google alert for anything with a Lynn that’s posted. She’s obsessed with Lynn Hudson. Ginger probably hasn’t cleaned her nose out lately and her Oxygen supply is limited. Just ignore.

    • Squirrels says:

      Hi. Timing is everything. Also, I sent you a virus to slow ya down 😀

  5. traci says:

    Holy God. I am Housewife obsessed, but I needed a xanax to get through this episode. I’d like to respectfully express my right to bang my fucking head against a wall.

  6. jezzibel says:

    I stopped watching RHODC after the second episode…but I’m always waiting for your recaps

  7. momsthoughts says:

    I loved Andy going all Perry Mason on them…he was not backing down….

  8. Waxdiva says:

    Every part of their lives is a scam. I wonder if they still have Sparkle or if Tarmac just borrowed it for McHale’s birthday scene…

    • Sanguis Frigidus says:

      You said their lives are a scam, and Andy was dealing with professionals ( as in professional grifters?) This triggered a memory. Does anyone remember Sante Kimes?
      Quote from wiki,” She delighted in introducing her husband as an ambassador – a ploy that even gained the couple access to a White House reception during the Ford administration “

      • Waxdiva says:

        OMG! I followed that case and cannot believe there is someone else who knows of her. They never did find Mrs. Silverman’s body and I don’t think the Kimes’ ever told what they did with her anyway. Sante had everything, but I think she was hardwired to go the criminal path. What she did to her own son is sickening. She was the original WH crasher.

        • Sanguis Frigidus says:

          Did you read “Son of a Grifter” ? It was bizarre. Their story was both fascinating and repulsive.
          When you made those two statements, after I watched M&T dance around the questions, it just brought Sante and son to mind. Tareq looked at Stacie so angrily at one point. He looked as if he could do her harm. Cold eyes.

      • tuzentswurth says:

        Sante and her dear son Kenny. Bio or A&E had a show about them, how do people get like that? At least the Salahi’s aren’t murderous……..yet, that we know of.

        • Sanguis Frigidus says:

          Tuz, you remember them as well!
          Sante started out with Insurance fraud and prostitution.
          M & T Salahi need to read her story as a cautionary tale.

          Glad you noticed your block. I used several of my favorite posters, but couldn’t use them all as I needed to make the colors work. 🙂

          • Tracy (w/out an 'E') aka mscarp says:

            It’s only a matter of time before they make the transition from fraud to murder. I think Mama Salahi should watch her back lest she turns up “missing” like Mrs. Silverman. I suppose the lack of money Oasis brings in should keep her safe, but you never know with those 2.

          • tuzentswurth says:

            Ah, thanks, you made me very happy, I feel honored, Sanguis.

        • Squirrels says:

          Mary Tyler Moore played Sante in a made for TV movie. Got good reviews but I’ve never seen it, Netflix doesn’t have it.

          • Tracy (w/out an 'E') aka mscarp says:

            I’ve watched it. It comes on Lifetime, natch, a lot. I don’t remember it being that great, but their relationship was pretty creepy and bordered on inappropriate. So in that regard it was weird seeing MTM play that kind of role.

  9. Delia says:

    This was soooooooo worth the wait! Thanks for a wonderful and HILARIOUS blog!!!

  10. AngryOldman says:

    God bless you for getting through that recap – it could not have been easy. But you really did sum it up. I should have saved myself the 40 minutes and just read your recap. You are a real trooper!

    Just how hard is Lynda trying to make “goat rodeo” happen? She said it at least 3 times. Cat has her “plastic not fantastic” and now Lynda. Are they trying for tshirt deals or something?

    And someone needs to tell Mary to lay off the wine and whatever else she’s on long enough to realize that without the Salahi’s there’s no show to be hijacked.

    Finally, I love how Cohen works so hard to keep the heat off Bravo and the producers. If he or Bravo really believes the Salahi’s crashed and/or that it’s a crime of some sorts, Bravo is an accomplice – they clearly thought the Salahi’s weren’t invited. By the way, I don’t know how you crash something when the hosts open the door and let you right in, but it’s still bad PR all around.

    Well at least that’s over. Again, great job and thanks. Love all the laughing reaction shots you threw in there….perfect!

    • Yes! They are trying so hard to make those catch phrases happen, but they can never be a satchels of gold or a prostitution whore.
      I don’t know what Mary was so upset about – that we didn’t get to watch a couple more episodes about her closet security? She should be thanking them for the few ratings they did get.
      Bravo totally knew Salami’s weren’t invited. Why else did they make a big deal about the invitation, trying to make Michaele show it? Because they didn’t believe it existed! I think the footage with the producer asking to see it was the most damning.
      But I really don’t think what they did was technically crashing. I’m kinda with Salami’s on this one. If you don’t want them in, don’t let them in. You can’t allow someone in and then complain about it the next day. They didn’t sneak in the back door, they showed their passports and social security numbers and were allowed to pass. The fault was all on the White House imo.

      • SillyMe says:

        I was thinking the same thing when I saw the lady with the clipboard at the first checkpoint, it just shows how poor the White House security was if they were allowed to pass the fence AFTER their names were not shown on the list. Clearly there was never an invitation and Salamis were delusional into thinking they were actually invited and dressed up for the part anyway, but the bigger fault lies with the WH security, which is why I think they haven’t really charge Salamis, because it would reveal a bigger hole in their security. Don’t get me wrong, watching Salamis lie through their teeth about EVERYTHING makes me want to gag, they’re shameless creatures! 😀

      • yoya says:

        We have to be careful with this topic. To me was a security problem, but saying that they didn’t crash the Withe House is like saying that terrorist didn’t do anything wrong in 911 because someone let them be at the plane

        • I don’t think so. The terrorists didn’t get permission from the White House to fly the planes into buildings. The Salahi’s were checked, and re-checked, and allowed in to the party. I don’t know the technical definition of crashing, but imo crashing is sneaking in a back door or sneaking past security. If security lets you in then you didn’t crash – imo.
          I don’t think it was a HUGE mistake on the part of the White House either. They are American citizens, they showed their passports and ss numbers, they passed a background check. They almost got a real invitation too. So it’s not like the doors are wide open for terrorists. It was a mistake, but I really don’t think this is the big deal everyone is making it out to be.

          • tuzentswurth says:

            I think the Sahlami’s got in on pure chutzpah and it is a big deal if the security is so lame that if anyone who acts confidently can bullshit their way in, there is a big problem. This lack of security and lack of people doing their jobs properly is exactly how the terrorists were able to gain access to fly the planes used for the 9-11 attacks. The White House was LUCKY that the Salahi’s didn’t have worse intentions. It was a huge wake-up call and I hope they didn’t hit the snooze alarm.

            • Squirrels says:

              Chutzpah be damned. They had no right, nor any invitation to that dinner. Period.

              That said, you bet your bottom dollar WH security is now beefed to the max. Next set of fools who try this will be shot on sight. (Figuratively of course)

  11. ilovelynn says:

    ok, there is someone who just LOVES giving me the thumbs down! come out, come out where ever you are…

  12. Meg1964 says:

    LOLOL Too funny. I love all the screen caps.. Andy’s faces and the ladies laughing their asses off. Hilarious!

  13. We have got to get this published for you so you can start to make $$ REAL $$ for blogging absolutely hilarious.. But the ?? is: Will you still remember us?

  14. plainviewsue says:

    OMG, I laughed so hard. That was beyond fantastic. My husband heard me laughing on the other side of the house.

    Bravo to you!!!!!!

  15. Shari says:

    I only have one word to say…BOLLOCKS!

  16. Sarah310 says:

    Can I just say I find Tareq’s lips so unbelievably irritating? They are two slimy things put together to resemble lips. Here’s hoping he can afford one day to get some collagen in those things. Way to thin. So are Lolly’s. She’s only 2 years younger than me so I can “insult the children” which is always a no no….
    They answered NOTHING. It was crazy, this recap is on target completely. I found it more entertaining than the entire season. Those people are shameless. Bravo should some sponsor this blog. Way better than any of the recaps on that site!
    I thought you would have included Mary’s freak of nature noise she made at one point. What the hell was that?!

  17. Daisy says:

    I am so thankful today that I am not Michaele Salahi. What a miserable life she lives. Ugh!!!! I am sure that she believes that she and Tareq are good together. In truth, they are dangerous to their family and friend and their community in general because they are just alike. So glad there aren’t any children involved…..well, let me walk that back….they may have OTR kids in that OTR house.

    • Her life isn’t miserable. She’s happy as can be living in her make believe world where everyone is full of love and sunshine. I don’t think those two admit reality even when they’re alone.

      • bacasam says:

        this reminds me of a line from Seinfeld when George told Jerry, ‘Remember it isn’t a lie if you believe it.’

        • Sanguis Frigidus says:

          But the confirmation glances Mikaela kept directing toward Tareq convinced me that it was all “bollocks” and that they both know it.

        • Squirrels says:

          “They” also say, you’re not paranoid if everyone is truly out to get you.

          There seems to be an excuse for behavior around every corner. Can I get in on this modus operandi? Are there rules? Is there a club like the He Man Woman Haters of Little Rascals days?

      • Sarah310 says:

        I think her life is miserable. have you checked out their financials? They are dead broke living in Front Royal Va. She’s a joke all over the country (soon to be the world) and I couldn’t think of anything worse. Broke AND a joke.

        • Sarah310 says:

          I think M was a makeup counter salesperson and thought she hit the jackpot with T. He has her convinced all the financial MESS they have is normal and it will get better. She stays because she has nothing to fall back on. I don’t think she is a dumb as she tries to come across.
          It’s one thing if you are a nice person and come across that way- but she comes across as calculated and passive aggressive. That slam on CAT about her getting Charles back if she was “happy in her heart” and all that nonsense was said in an attempt to be nice and it was passive aggressive. She is cutting and callous and she knows exactly what she is doing.
          What’s more: she is so wrapped around this pathological liar’s finger that she will believe anything. But let’s not be fooled: She has nothing to fall back on, no money that’s her own, no job potential (unless Nordstrom’s wants a flipping circus). She is the position most women find themselves in because they have no career or aspirations aside from their husband.

        • Daisy says:

          That’s exactly where I was coming from Sarah, and I do see RCH’s point about MS not being miserable because she is choosing this…probably chased it, and darn it, it is going to be a great life no matter what…love and sunshine..LOL.

          To me, living scared is no life at all. Having to wake everyday knowing I have to cover my lies and my husbands lies….that gives me heart palpitations just thinking about it.

          I did a small bitchy thing this past week when the people buying our house let their loan fall through because they tried to lie to the bank about another house they owned and was therefore over the debt limit to take out the loan on our house. I had been holding their mail for about 3 weeks, and when they did that….I returned them all to sender. Well, they asked to come get said mail. I felt like I would throw up all day because I had been caught doing something that I knew had malcontent behind it. I just can’t imagine what I’d do if I had all of the mess the Sahali’s have put on themselves. Not that I feel sorry for them….they knew full well what they are doing, and no one is quicker to call someone on the mat for their behavior than Michaele.

          • Sarah says:

            I AGREE! And hello- granted I am not married but if my boyfriend was running around lying non stop and acting a fool I would dump him so fast his head would spin. No nonsense over here! Everyone woman is different though how they deal with things. People who know me are aware that nothing gets past me. SHE wants to come across dumb- mission accomplished!
            I get what you are saying re: your story. Integrity is an often overlooked virtue in this day and age. You have it! They don’t.
            These people really made my blood boil…

          • Lol. Well that’s why people like you don’t do things like the Salahi’s.
            I honestly don’t think they are scared or living in fear. I think when you’re that far gone that you are lying on national television, and you know that no one in the entire country believes you, and you STILL keep on lying…. I think at that point you’re only lying to yourself. They lie because they need to keep up the delusion for themselves.
            I could be wrong. But I think people like that probably believe their own lies. See, now if only Tariq had a brother then Danielle could finally find her soul mate. Oh wait, he does have a brother. Uh oh….

      • Daisy says:

        I do see your point too. 🙂

    • SillyMe says:

      I just read somewhere that Salamis got themselves and agent to book them for appearances. Apparently they’re asking $10k-$15k for each appearance. You must be crazy to pay to see those two and ultimately feed into their fake lifestyle. I wish they would go away, they’re an older version of Spedi! 😀

  18. bacasam says:

    Here, here to a glorious recap, I watched the 2nd reunion and can’t think of anything missed. As I side note, did anyone notice Cat and Mary are in serious need of their stylist taking them to bra shop for a new fitting….. just sayin.

  19. Alicia says:

    Love it! Great post as usual!
    I totally agree with you! You can not crash the White House when you are let in the front door! And photographed! This was a big mistake on the WH’s part, that is why we dont hear about it beyond Bravo. I do think the Salahi’s live in their own little world.
    However, without them on the show, there would not have been a show. The other ladies claim that they “hijacked” the show. Well they should be thanking their luck y stars. This was the worst all around cast. So boring. Total snoozefest without the Salahi’s.
    I am not on their side. I dont think that what they do or say is right. Just pointing out the WH let them in. And it the show would have been a TOTAL flop without them!

    • WindyCityWondering says:

      Wondering if the Salahis got through the first checkpoint because Bravo was filming and the person checking them in figured they were vips since them were being filmed and she didn’t want to look like a stupid jerk…..

  20. fashion42 says:

    So I watched the reunion specials (Haven’t really seen a full episode besides those) and ohhh eeeemmm geeeee. Seriously- I do NOT know what I would have done if I had to be in that room listening to those ridiculous lies spewed by Tariq and Michaealele…??? (sp?? how is that pronounced?? seriously I do not know how to pronounce either of their names)

    I did enjoy how the other ladies banded together to call them out on their lies, and they did it in an intelligent way- sure they made little jabs and swore a bit but I think they all maintained a degree of class about it. I doubt I would have handled it that well. I liked watching them laugh amongst themselves at the absurdity, I totally get that- at that point I’m sure it is funny to watch those two sitting there thinking they are getting their name cleared- but in reality they just keep looking worse and worse. ugh

    I also want to say the husbands and Ebong (again SP? sorry) were really great. All of the men came out and made intelligent comments, and asked very smart questions. I was impressed by all the men (obvs Tbag excluded) and I started thinking to myself “hmm wonder what the Jersey reunion would have been like if the husbands had been brought out?” doubt there would have been an ounce of class.

    Like I said haven’t watched it, so I don’t have any personal opinions about anyone other than the Salami’s.

    I think Andy finally did a good job at calling BS at a reunion show. It’s obvious Andy, and Bravo are pissed and fed up with the Salami’s- as they should be.

    Thanks for the recap! Keep it up! Oh also after reading that Kyles hair is natural I tweeted her and asked what products she uses- she said she used to use Pantene but they discontinued her products. Not sure if it was tongue in cheek but she mentioned also said she was starting her own line! If that’s true- I’d buy it!

    • fashion42 says:

      oops I meant I haven’t watched the season EXCEPT for the reunions**

    • Yes, I really like the men on this show. Suuuuuuch a diff between this and Jersey. Michaele is lucky she was cast with the 4 most well behaved women on Bravo.
      It’s clear after watching this that Andy likes the Salahi’s a hell of a lot better than he likes Danielle. He was almost even protective over them.
      He did a better job at this reunion than he normally does. But not nearly good enough. Still let them get away with too much.

      Kyle should totally start a hair product line. People would buy it. Her hair is amazing.

      • Sarah310 says:

        My colorist and I were talking about her hair. She doesn’t bleach the shit out of it like everyone in la and that’s why it actually grows. She probably just gets a gloss. People with that kind of hair do not have to do much at all. I am willing to bet she uses Moroccan oil and kerastase. They are the best….

        • Tracy (w/out an 'E') aka mscarp says:

          Off topic, but I’ve been hearing a lot about this Moroccan oil. Is it really that amazing? Totally want some now.

          • Sarah says:

            YES it’s amazing. Put it on your hair wet after the shower on the ends. I lightly put it all over my hair. You can put it on your ends when your hair is dry. Get the smaller bottle it lasts forever.

            • Sanguis Frigidus says:

              I was going to ask how one uses it and lo and behold, Sarah has already answered.
              Have you ever heard of using it with a wooden comb, or a comb infused with the oil?

              • Tracy (w/out an 'E') aka mscarp says:

                I love you girls, ya know. For laughs, and snark, and beauty tips. What could be a more perfect combo?!

      • fashion42 says:

        Ooh what makes you think he likes the Salahi’s more than Danielle? I thought he couldn’t stand either of them, but I’d love to hear your take!

        And also YES- Michaeaealel got SUPER lucky by being cast with the 4 most well behaved women on Bravo.

        And yeah if Kyle started a hair line- I’d buy the hell out of it. She could be really successful- at this point viewers seem to enjoy her, I might regret saying this later but- she may give Bethenny a run for her money as favorite housewife!

        • Sarah310 says:

          since when is Bethenny favorite housewife??? I missed that one

          • fashion42 says:

            Bethenny whether you like her or not has quite the army behind her- which explains her show- which none of the other housewives have been able to secure (no matter how badly they want it. You know a majority of them are vying for their own show)

            that just validates Bethenny’s popularity.

            • Sarah says:

              Sorry I had no idea about the army or anything like that- I like her, sure she is nice, I had no idea she was the most popular one.

            • Sarah says:

              It’s also very hard to keep up with why people hate some and vice versa. One minute someone is trashed, but as soon as a housewife steps up the PR machine and starts responding kindly to the people on twitter then she is OK. Would love for a housewife to just not do twitter and be self promoting 24/7.

              • fashion42 says:

                I totally understand what u mean! You are 100% right, the PR machine can make ALL the difference. I do enjoy Bethenny but I also consider her a favorite housewife because Bravo gave her an entire series, they haven’t given any other housewife that luxury (despite what the delusional Danielle said).

                I agree with you that housewives should not be on twitter self promoting 24/7 for sure…but sadly…I think that’s all that some of them have :/ (doesn’t make it right!)

            • Jersey says:

              I’m actually not a HUGE fan of Bethenney but, I do like her. You are soooo right though, she has some VERY loyal fans which secured her that show, none of the other HW have been able to get that type of following.

        • Because Andy told the women to stop when they were laughing at the Salahi’s. But he never said one word when Danielle was being called garbage, whore, pig, disgusting etc…

          • fashion42 says:

            I felt he told them to stop only because someone who was not laughing (a husband maybe) was trying to make a legitimate point against them or Andy was trying to make a question serious to get a REAL (hahahahaaa) answer. I could definitely be off on this.

            You are very right. Andy did not step in when Danielle was being called names, and he did in fact laugh at her (as I’m sure everyone who reads this blog did) when she brought out that fake head with the extensions which Andy could not for the life of him pull out (I’ve had extensions- i’ve pulled them out myself or had them accidentally pulled out- not that painful, and definitely not THAT difficult to do)

            Yes I think you are right, as pissy as Andy was with the Salami’s he did protect them a bit more than he did Danielle.

            I just can’t even imagine what it’s like to be Andy at the end of the night…he MADE those monsters…ahh…

            • You may be right. He just wanted to hear what the Salami’s had to say, while with Danielle no one really cared what she had to say at that point.
              I gotta disagree with you about the extensions. The kind Danielle has really aren’t going to come out without ripping your real hair with it. The dummy demonstration back fired on her because you can’t rip a dummies hair out as easily has you can rip a real persons hair out. The demonstration did show that you can’t rip the extensions from the real hair, but I think most people missed the point.

              • fashion42 says:

                I dunno…I had Great Length extensions and once they grow out after a week or two, I personally don’t think it hurt so badly to have them pulled out (loved loved my extensions but sometimes just had to yank the unruly ones out on my own) also sometimes when brushing them (the way I wasn’t supposed to I’m sure…) they would get yanked out and It really was not a big deal to me.

                I just think that Danielle loved taking the dramatic approach about it (lying about Ashley saying “I’LL KILL YOU”) I think she definitely overly exaggerated the pain she felt from the hair pulling. Just as she over exaggerates every aspect of her life.

                I feel so bad for her kids. SO. SO. bad.

  21. Sanguis Frigidus says:

    I know what happened to the email from the WH.
    It was written in (whispers) invisible ink!

  22. tuzentswurth says:

    Excellent, though this show was not popular you parlayed this reunion pt deux into pure RCH gold. Very funny, humorous use of the screen shots. Each pic of the salahi’s followed by a pic of others either laughing or looking dumbfounded b/c that’s exactly what I did. Those idiots actually think they were coherent? wow.
    @ilovelynn- yeah, who is the thumbs downy nut?
    @angryoldman- if you’re not careful you may become happyoldman here.
    Rch- I really loved this blog! It just had to be done. Good format for this one!

    • dreemz says:

      I especially love the shots RCH froze of Andy…they got a real big laugh from the bottom of my gut! Girl, when I need a laugh I know where to come!!

      Tuzentswurth, I think it will be interesting to follow these idiots for awhile… I’m sure they’ll provide some entertainment of some form or another.

  23. captaincarebear says:

    I’d comment but I promised I’d keep my comments OTR so I just better not say anything at all.

  24. Pingback: World Wide News Flash

  25. Jersey says:

    Absolutely Brillant as usual! I think these two might be sociopaths, ya know the kind of people that could pass a lie detector test. I think if I had been on that show with them and had to sit there I would have thrown my dog’s poo in their face, I actually thought Andy did a pretty good job this time around, he even had emails printed!
    Also, if you all are interested I would love for you to check out my website ( – I’ve read lots of comments on Kyle’s hair (my biggest tips for nice hair is don’t wash it everyday, sleep with a silk scarf on your head, don’t bleach it and don’t take a blow dryer to it until it’s about 90% dried naturally) and I am obessed with hair/skincare/beauty products so I started a reveiw website, I haven’t updated in a while for personal reasons but, I’m getting back to it and would love some readers so thank you in advance for the support 🙂

    • fashion42 says:

      Hey, I visited your blog and left a message! I’ll bookmark it and make sure to check it frequently! thanks for the tips!

    • I’ll check out your site. But I bleach the shit out of my hair. I know it’s bad, but I can’t live without my blonde hair. So I guess I’m pretty much screwed no matter what products I use. That’s why I just keep it short and glue the hair of young virgin Indian girls onto my scalp. Lol. But even then, it’s still not as thick as Kyle’s.

      And what is the silk scarf for? I never heard that before.

      • Sarah says:

        hey sister I bleach the shit out of my hair too. That’s why it doesn’t grow- ; ) have you tried collagen treatments on your hair?? I just started on those and it is making my hair so strong. Hopefully it will get longer…….

        • I’ve never tried that. I’ll look into it. Does it make your hair feel nicer? Mine feels like straw. Lol.

          • Sarah says:

            omg I’ve been there. Yes- they put some conditioner feeling stuff on your hair and then you sit under the dryer and it has to dry into your hair. Then wash it out. It was freakish how soft my hair got. Everything that is stripped off your hair when you bleach comes back on. You have to do 5 treatments (I’m on my second) and then you only have to do it once you get your color done.
            Also I swear by morrocan oil or “dermOrganic Argan oil” after you shower before you blow dry. This is best shampoo combo for bleached blondes for keeping that bright blonde- “United Eurotherapy Blonda Shampoo PLUS innersense hair bath color awake” – the Blonda shampoo is no joke you have to mix it with something else. Even when my roots come my hair is still bright and shiny- I know it’s from this stuff.
            I switched conditioner treatments around right now it’s “Derm Organic Masque Argan Oil”.
            I try…try to have healthy hair.. this disease is called blonderexia and there is no cure.

            • Sarah says:

              in case that was impossible to read those were two shampoos listed United is one brand and innersense is another

            • Jersey says:

              You can also try Jazzings clear hair gloss. Put it on your hair after washing and conditioning. Sit under a dryer for about 15-20 minutes and then rinse out (don’t wash) that will make your hair super shiny as well.

            • I never heard of those products. Maybe I’ll have to buy them online.
              I currently choose my shampoo and conditioner by which product comes in the prettiest bottle.
              I suffer from blonderexia too. I think I was born with it.

          • tuzentswurth says:

            OK RCH. Don’t laugh, I’m serious. Many moons ago, like probably in the 60’s, my aunt told me this little trick and it will soften and nourish your hair amazingly. On your DRY hair, apply a handful of real mayonnaise, work through thoroughly, cover with a plastic bag ( be sure to leave your face out) for an hour. Then rinse out and wash hair as usual. It will be amazingly soft, mayo is after all an emulsion of eggs and oil, no nasty chemicals. It is a great deep conditioner and cheap. Just don’t put it on wet hair b/c it will run down your neck and make a big mess.

      • kmuellfa says:

        It prevents breakage while sleeping. A lot of AA women do this. The women in my family used silk pillowcases ( I don’t know if you can but them anymore)

    • I left you a comment. What did you use to create your website? I love the layout.

  26. Jersey says:

    LOL, I can’t help you much if you’re bleaching – it’s just so drying to your hair but, hey I totally understand your addiction. You probably just need to do a lot of deep conditioning to keep it in better condition. The silk scarf is great to keep away the frizzies. When you sleep you roll around on your pillow, etc which can cause frizz so if you wrap it up in a silk scarf when you go to bed it keeps away the frizzies. The most important tip I can give you though is DO NOT wash your hair everday. Your hair needs the natural oils to keep it soft and silky, if you wash it everday you strip your hair of that making it dry and damaged. Again, thanks for checking out my website – I looove yours and maybe your readers might appreciate mine as well xoxo

  27. Jersey says:

    Thanks, I used wordpress and I just googled “beauty themes” and that one came up.

  28. kmuellfa says:

    Jersey, I like the Psssst dry shampoo. The only thing is it’s hard to find. ( It is white, and you have to use a brush, not comb. But it does the job and gives my baby fine hair amazing body.

  29. crazysweet says:

    it seems as though truth is stranger than fiction and basically you recapped it nearly verbatim because you really couldn’t make that shit up or any better(worse) than it was.

    I’ve seen better security at a night club and much harder to get in if your “not on the list” wtf??? White house needs to fire secret service and get some LA club bouncers…NO one will enter without a stamp!

    why in the world would you buy kyles hair products if she uses panteen? why wouldn’t you just go buy panteen?

    the secret to good skin, hair and nails is vitamin E and olive oil….trust!

    • I know!! That’s what I’ve been saying since day one! At the club if your name is not on the list you better step aside or be moved aside. No one cares about your excuses. The list is the list and that’s it.

      People will buy Kyle’s hair products because if you tell someone “Use this and you can look like that” they’ll buy it. I’m sure Kyle’s hair is just naturally nice and no matter what I use my hair isn’t going to look like hers. That being said, if she sold hair products I would probably buy them anyway.

    • tuzentswurth says:

      You’re right crazysweet, Vit E, olive oil and add avocados and almonds or other nuts. Eating these healthy fats do help your skin, nails and hair!

      • crazysweet says:

        yeah it would seem that simply because it’s the white house they took for granted that anyone would even deign to enter w/o an invite.

        Good genes are good genes and no amount of expensive product can change that. However nutrition really does. I’m 41 with hair to my waist healthy from roots to ends. My nails are so strong the manicurists think they are acrylic at first and my skin is and always has been clear. But I don’t eat chicken in a can. tuzentswurth you are correct as well. I also suppliment w/ vit. e and other goodies. and though I go with my natural dark brown now at 1 time I did bleach the shit out of my hair and play with color a LOT like my whole teens and 20’s. However my diets basically always been the same.

        No meat in a can or any other source and lots of nuts, legumes & evoo & avocado!

        noooo…..don’t buy into Bravo sales propaganda PUH-LEEZE??!!

        look forward to ATL recap!

  30. Waxdiva says:

    The JOO-DICE’S start bashing Tree’s brother and SIL!!! Would have loved to have been there!

    • Tracy (w/out an 'E') aka mscarp says:

      I am literally counting the days until NJ starts back again. I cannot wait to see Tre go head to head with Melissa. I’m already lining up help as I know I will have no time whatsoever for the trivialities of life, such as cooking, cleaning, bathing, and laundry.
      Which reminds me, in the DC Reunion Part 2 the Salami’s used the Joo-Dice’s trick of deflecting their own financial troubles as being more business than personal. Do they think that really works? Clearly they aren’t reading the blogs. Besides when your business and personal lives are so intricately intertwined, does it really matter? The business IS your life, so either way, you are in debt, spending as though you are not, and thus a fraud. Same for the Salahi’s as it is for the Guidice’s. Fake + phony x liar = fraud

    • crazysweet says:

      yuck! there’s nothing good about watching that mess. it’d be one thing if it were at a dive bar with only adults… was a christening filled with children. I hope they all go to jail!

      • Tracy (w/out an 'E') aka mscarp says:

        OK, I didn’t read the details of the article until after you commented, and I’d like to revise my earlier post. While I don’t condone her behavior, at least at the 1st season’s last supper, she had the presense of mind to get her kids out of the room before she went ape-shit ballistic. What that article described was more than tragic. How any parent could allow themselves to get out of control in front of increasingly hysterical children is beyond my comprehension.
        I totally agree with you, crazysweet, it’s one thing at a bar or even at the Poshe fashion show, but at a family christening, it is so classless, thoughtless, and selfish. But their behavior proves my point about the Guidice’s; they are utter garbage. I sincerely hope Caroline finally admits how disgusting they are and calls her out on it. That would be something to watch. Just please, for God’s sake, keep the kids out of it. If not, then she’s a hypocritical clown. I know other commenters would say she is, but I’m holding out hope. Maybe I am just naive.

    • Need a Hobby says:

      I guess poor Juicy just blinked and next thing he knew, someone’s face collided with his fist. /sarcasm.

      Another hint that the Giudices are living in their own fabricated fantasy world: In what world does a squat thuglike overgrown hobbit like Juicy call anyone else “a midget?” (My apologies to hobbits, both real and imagined.)

      [As an aside, in a strictly unbiased opinion based on pics, I think Joey Gorga is cute. I don’t know these folks of course, but it’s hard not to naturally take their side when you already know T & Juice, for all their airs, are little better than grifters and street brawlers.)]

      So what I’d say weeks (or is it now months) ago when the SIL Melissa joined the show? I figured the season would start out being what Caro wanted…..happy familia, smiling for the cameras. But only a matter of time before the cracks showed….especially when you’ve got “classy” T and the Towaco Toad.

      Teresa’s gonna be the Jill Zarin of RHONJ.

      Holy shite! Oh, to have been in the room with a flip cam! In my old age I’m getting more like Kathy Griffin. While others [not at this blog] bewail the loss of civility and genteel values [so why aren’t they watching Little House on the Prairie reruns instead of these bitches, I wanna know], when reality ho’wives start throwing down, I’m like “hot damn!”

      I want video, live play by play and an aftergame show. “Here’s Teresa doing a classic go for the hair grab, but XXX effectively counters with a feint to the chin and then a hard kick in the shins. Ouch, that’s gotta hurt. Meanwhile, Juicy’s fuming for more fight but seems to be having trouble getting out of the grip of his mother in law…he’s shouting “let me at him, don’t hold me back” while the only ones holding him are his mother in law and an unknown elderly woman with a walker. Oh 0h—-the little old lady just kneed Juicy and spit! And Juicy’s down for the count! ”

      Good times. 🙂

      • Lmao. Love it! I can’t wait to recap this!!

        • Candace says:

          Oh please, please, please.

          This one sounds like the ultimate hot mess of all time.

          Can you imagine this one…everyone fighting everyone else?

        • Need a Hobby says:

          I know, the radar online account is so vivid, you can visualize the whole thing. It’s like a movie. A little Fellini, a little Mel Brooks.

          Can you imagine though, there you are having a nice christening & reception for your new son and the next thing you know it’s the world wrestling federation gone wild? How effin nuts is that?

          So Teresa, who goes an hour late to their new nephew’s celebration (I bet she acted like it was such a favor it was to attend, since T’s a “star” now) and then with the husband starts a knock down drag out brawl with family? AT A CHRISTENING RECEPTION FOR YOUR NEPHEW! Who does that Teresa? You and Smugly Thugwort, that’s who. Shame! Shame!

          It’s shocking and sad in reality to ruin such a day. If I were Melissa & family I would be absolutely fuming. Sticking pins in little Teresa and Juicy dolls. Although maybe some day she’ll be able to show pics to her son and say with a laugh, ” Yeah, that’s when your crazy aunt Tree and uncle Joe went beserk like a couple of baboons at the reception. That was right before they went to prison on an unrelated matter.”

          So it’s sad and all and I’m sure the family’s upset and hurt as they should be . But since it already happened and it’s done, can we get it uncut on pay per view? And can we hope for a food fight in which Caroline gets hit with a meringue? Oh please, please, please….

    • bacasam says:

      After the NJ Reunion show and then Bravo’s announcement, Danielle would not return, I sent Andy an email with a simple sentence. “Be careful what you wish for.”

      On a separate note, did anyone see the mention of Jenna and Tamara going after each other, I had not heard anything of that mess. Ah, money and fame, fame and more money, the saga continues.

    • tuzentswurth says:

      That is just sad, that family is trash. What a shame for the children.

      • Sanguis Frigidus says:

        My thoughts exactly.
        Perhaps Teresa will write a book of manners to help us understand the basis for some of her behavior.

  31. Mr Danielle says:

    Sorry, but can someone confirm something for me? Isn’t Joey G is Caroline M’s brother?

  32. Amber...Real Wife says:


    Lynn got a response from Gretchen in the OC. Have you tried Jacqueline in NJ for any info? I’d love to hear her denial or confirmation of recent events. Also how they, the ManzoMob, feel about the Gorgas.

    • I’ll send Jac a DM and see what she says. But I don’t think she is going to reveal anything. I’m sure Bravo is gonna make them keep their mouths shut and save all the good stuff for when the show airs.
      But I’m pretty sure I already know – Teresa hates Melissa. Melissa is on good terms with Jac and Dina. Teresa expects everyone to take her side. We all know Jac doesn’t take sides – that causes tension. Caroline is beginning to feel stuck in the middle. I think the big question is whether Caroline is going to stick by Teresa or turn her back on her. Honestly, either way Caroline goes she’ll look like a hypocrite. I can’t wait!

    • Need a Hobby says:

      PR director of the Manor Restaurant confirms the brawl to local newspaper:

      “The siblings started arguing, prompting Teresa to bang on a table — but she did not flip it over. ‘And we can say that we’re thankful for that,’ PR director Michael Mahle tells us. A physical fight then broke out between Joe and Joey, with The Manor staffers and family members wading in to break it up. Police were not called.”

      The women on the show probably can’t say too much.

  33. Snarkella says:

    Hi Ladies
    Loved all the hair tips. That stuff never gets old for me. LOL.

    Thanks for another great recap RCH. Wish I knew someone in the publishing world so I could say, “Hey, you need to check this lady out. She’s really funny!”. But alas, I do not. Hope someone important finds you soon.

  34. Samuel Bronkowitz says:

    Follow the circular lies of Terd and Messy Salami:
    Join our Facebook page: Tell the White House Party Crashers to Go Away

    New documentary available on Youtube that shines a light on the White House Party Crashers’ attempt at 15 mintues of fame and their lies. As Brian Williams from NBC put it – State Dinner Balloon Boy and Girl. The Crash Heard Around the World – The Salahis is available for viewing now. Unfortunately YouTube only allows a max of 15 minutes so there are 6 parts.

    Part 1 of 6:
    Part 2 of 6:
    Part 3 of 6:
    Part 4 of 6:
    Part 5 of 6:
    Part 6 of 6:

  35. Vonya says:

    Did anyone else catch the new article about Mic being booted off “Celebrity Rehab” when they discovered she was LYING about being an addict!! I guess being hooked on attention and whatever Tartar’s been putting in her kool-aid to keep her oblivious to his infinite skills as a lying deadbeat just doesn’t meet even a fellow fame-whore like “Dr. Drew’s” standards!

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