Woo Hoo Beverly Hills is finally here!
Fuck fruit. These bitches hold diamonds.
I was a child star, but now my most important roll is being a mother [because it’s the only roll I can get.]
I love how none of them have any family in their backgrounds. I guess they didn’t want to share the spotlight.
Adrienne lives across the street from Lisa. She is part owner of The Maloof Companies which is a family business that owns all kinds of cool things like basketball teams and casinos. I’m still not sure if she actually works for a living or if she “owns” these businesses the way Jill “owns” Zarin fabrics. She says that her and her husband keep all work related things separate (as though she has any choice in the matter). I’m sure her father had an iron clad pre-nup drawn up before the wedding as well.
Adrienne met president Obama and her husband Paul could have gone with her but chose not to because as a republican, he is not a fan.
In related news, Stacie had to be rushed to a DC hospital Thursday evening after going into an extreme state of shock.
Adrienne is friends with Taylor who’s face appears to be melting. Taylor says that ever since she was small she’s had a feeling that “there was something really big for her in her life”. Apparently that big thing turned out to be her lips. We need to find out who did that to her face so we can warn other women. Someone should really create a facebook page or something. I’m just waiting for her lips to leak down her chin and drop onto the floor.
Taylor says that she has to get tons of plastic surgery to keep her husband from leaving her for a 20 year old. She also makes and saves her own money just in case he isn’t impressed by the plastic surgery and leaves her for a 20 year old anyway. Taylor doesn’t need a surgeon, she needs a therapist. And I don’t like Russell.
Camille Grammer has been borrowing Mary’s happy pills. She half slurs, half mumbles, and lets her sentences trail off. But luckily all that plastic surgery keeps her eyes wide open so she never gets that dopey look that Mary always has.
When Kelsey came on the screen the woman who was recording the show started yelling to her husband to come in the room because the man from the show he used to watch is on. Lol. Shout out to Amy!
Kim clings to her “child star” days for dear life. How many times do you think her friends and family have had to listen to her talk about being a child star? She says she gracefully walked away from fame to become a mother. But judging by the fact that she is on this show and obsessing over her childhood in front of the camera, I think it’s safe to say that she has been trying to claw her way back into the spotlight ever since the moment she left it. Personally, I’ve never heard of Kim or Witch Mountain.
She says that her mom gave her amazing advice; “Don’t make your whole life about your kids”. Seems reasonable to me. But Kim chose to ignore that advice and follow in her mothers footsteps by making her life all about her kids. I guess it’s ok to do that when they’re young. But her kids are all grown up now.
Kim then tells some totally bullshit story about how she once went out to eat with her niece Paris and all the paparazzi were calling her name and calling her an icon and they told Paris that her aunt was an icon long before she was. And she had to tell Paris “that’s right, I’m the original icon“.
Um…. Aren’t paparazzi mostly young guys in their 20’s? I don’t think the average paparazzo is old enough to know who Kim is. Her scenes are uncomfortable to watch and I feel embarrassed for her.
Kyle is Kim’s younger sister, but acts more like her mother. Kim tells Kyle that she might want to have another baby. Kyle asks “Don’t you need a husband first?” I don’t know… I’m thinking you might need a time machine first.
Kyle was a child actress too, but she doesn’t seem as hung up on it as Kim is. She says she works in between having children, and every time someone pisses her off in the business she just goes and has another child. Um…. ok, that was a weird thing to say. But over all I like Kyle.
Kyle’s husband is a big time Dr. Phil fan and says that he lives by the philosophy that he’d rather be happy than be right. During dinner they make a deal that for every hour he gets to play of golf, she gets to spend a thousand dollars. So basically Kyle is always right and she gets paid if her husband plays golf. I think this may be the world’s best husband right here:
Now that all the women have had their introductions, Adrienne plans a little get together so everyone can get to know each other.
They’re just going to watch some sports, nothing fancy.
So they all hop on a private jet stocked with champagne in crystal glasses to go sit court side and watch the Kings play the Lakers in Sacramento.
After the plane ride they go for dinner. They make fun of Lisa because her dogs feet never touch the ground. Kyle does a good English accent which Lisa swears sounds nothing like her. Kyle and Lisa are pretty funny together. Camille is funny in a “laughing at you, not with you” sort of way. Adrienne is cool and seems pretty grounded despite growing up with so much freaking money. Taylor tries waaaay too hard. She seems like the type that would let the other women torture her just to be allowed to sit at the popular table. I like this group of women, they are all a lot of fun. Except for Kim.
That’s it for this week. I think this show is great, but they could really do without Kim and her constant whining. The previews for the rest of the season look really good too. Unlike the other franchises that always start slow, this one was good in the first 5 minutes. I think they can survive without a ton of drama because even when nothing is happening it’s fun to gawk at their amazing homes, private planes, and Taylors face. What did you guys think? Do you love this show? Are you as annoyed by Kim as I am?