The Real Housewives of DC – The Alleged Crashing Of The State Dinner

Hey guys, I know this recap is a week late, but so were the Housewives Bravo blogs, so at least we’re all on the same schedule. Honestly, I just didn’t feel like writing it this week. With Atlanta airing and Beverly Hills starting and all the never ending insanity going on in New Jersey, I just couldn’t make myself care about this episode. But since I started the recaps I might as well finish them. And since I have Beverly Hills and the DC reunion to recap tomorrow, I figured it’s now or never. So I bit the bullet and got it done because I know there are those of you who wanted it. If it’s not funny don’t blame me. I was just trying to keep my eyes open long enough to get to the end.

The show starts with Tareq and Michaele in the limo on the way to the White House. Stacie calls (totally coincidentally I’m sure) to ask if they want to come over for dinner next week, she also wants to know if they have an invitation to the White House. This is now the 3rd time that someone is asking her about the invitation. Bravo knew something was up.

After a long drawn out car ride, here it is, the moment everyone has been talking about and waiting to see for the last year; the Salahi’s getting through a White House security checkpoint:

Anticlimactic.
And what kind of security is that? One lady with a clipboard? I’m guessing the security wasn’t any better at the other checkpoints since they made it in.

This scene is supposed to be the next day. But Michaele’s hair is longer and thicker than it was the night before and those don’t look like clip-on extensions to me.
The Salahi’s are going over the pictures they took at the White House when Tareq gets a text message from someone named Rob. They talk about him as though we’re supposed to know who he is. I bet Tareq’s phone didn’t even ring. I suppose he’ll claim it was on vibrate, but I’m gonna go with: it didn’t ring and they don’t know anyone named Rob. Tareq then tells Michaele that “Rob” informed him that all those pesky gossip columnists down at that trashy tabloid known as The Washington Post are making up stories about them.

Over at the Turner’s, Stacie and Jason are reading the gossip and they are loving every minute of it.

Stacie calls Cat on the phone to share in the joy of the Salahi’s public embarrassment. Cat says the Salahi’s are plastic not fantastic. I guess she thinks this line is pretty clever because she uses it several times throughout this episode.

Bla bla bla… stuff we already know. I feel like I’m watching a re-run.

The women gather at Stacie’s to gossip. Mary says that Tareq and Michaele are like Thelma and Louis headed for the cliff. Lynda, in an attempt to one-up her in her interview says that they are like Bonnie and Clyde in overdrive. Overdrive? Does that mean that Lynda thinks crashing the White House is a more serious offence than a murder spree?

Mary hyperventilates over the thought of Michaele talking to Joe Biden. She jumps up and down on the chair and almost spills her wine. It was a random burst of energy…

…but then her Xanax kicked in and she slumped back into her zombie-like stupor. Luckily Lynda’s personal care nurse was on hand to wipe the drool from her chin. Such a nice girl.

Mary wants to know if Tareq and Michaele sat down together and plotted and planned to crash the dinner. I don’t think they did. This is how I imagine the conversation going:

Michaele: Do you think we’ll be invited to the state dinner this year?
Tareq: I think we should be invited since we are personally responsible for the relationship between India and America and all.
Michaele: Yes I agree, we should be invited.
Tareq: We do deserve to be there. Even if they don’t send us an invitation, surely we deserve to go.
Michaele: Yes love, we totally deserve to go. Where would India and Polo be today if not for us?
Tareq: So I guess we should just go, you know, since we deserve to be there and all. We’ll just show up and let them decide at the gate if they want to let us in. If they do, they do. If not, we’ll go back to the hotel and order room service.
Michaele: Yay love. Sounds like a plan. Should I wear a sari? Do you think that will be appropriate?
Tareq: I don’t know. Why don’t you call the White House and ask.
< ring ring ring >
Operator: Hello, White House front desk.
Michaele: Hello, this is Michaele Salahi, I was just wondering if it would be appropriate if I wore a red sari to the state dinner.
Operator: Yes ma’am, I think that would be ok.
Michaele: Great, thanks love, you’re the best.
-click-
Michaele: Well, she didn’t tell me that I wasn’t invited, so I’m sure it’s totally fine if we go.
Tareq: Yeah I’m sure it’s fine.
Michaele: Yay! I’m so excited! We’re going to the White House!!

Stacie decides to call Michaele and get her side of the story. When the phone goes to voice mail Lynda says “Well maybe they are only entitled to one phone call”. I guess that was supposed to be a joke about them being in jail. No one laughed.

Every time they show this black screen with the white letters it gives me a flash back to the endings of Lost and I think the show is over. But no, it’s not over. The torture continues.

Cat goes over to Mary’s to cry to her about being uninvited to the White House. For all the shit talking Cat does about the Salahi’s being “so.full.of.shit” she’s pretty full of shit herself. She constantly refers to her husband as a photographer for the White House which sounds more important than “photographer for Newsweek”, which is what he is. The party she was invited to was not an intimate gathering of the Obama’s family and friends. It was a party for members of the press and she most likely would have gotten a handshake and polite smile at best. Obama is not friends with her husband and he was not excited to meet her. If he had been, it wouldn’t have taken two years for her to get invited to a party, and an association if Michaele would not have affected her invite. And lastly, her marriage would have ended at the same time in the same way whether she had gone to that party or not.
Cat can cry me a river. I know these women think that shaking the president’s hand is a some sort of lifetime achievement (personally I’d rather go to a party at Bethenny’s house, Obama looks like he’d be boring) but not attending a party at the White House is not a tragedy and it didn’t “destroy” her life.

Paul and the women (minus Stacie because she has a job) gather at Lynda’s to watch the Salahi’s congressional hearing.

Lynda’s furniture looks like it should be on a patio, not in the house.

When a reality show has to use footage from C-SPAN as filler, you know there is a problem.

Were you invited to the dinner?

On advice of counsel I respectfully assert my right to remain silent and decline to answer your question.

Are you sitting in this room right now?

On advice of counsel I respectfully assert my right to remain silent and decline to answer your question.

Are you wearing a striped tie?

On advice of counsel I respectfully assert my right to remain silent and decline to answer your question.

Is it true that you are in fact a very butch lesbian who is taking hormones and has yet to complete the sex change process?

On advice of counsel I respectfully assert my right to remain silent and decline to answer your question.

Now I have a question for you, Mrs. Salahi: Do you find me attractive?

On advice of counsel I respectfully assert my right to remain silent and decline to answer your question.

So you’re saying I’m not attractive?  

On advice of counsel I respectfully assert my right to remain silent and decline to answer your question.

So if I were to ask you out, you would say no? Because I think I would like to take you on a date.

On advice of counsel I respectfully assert my right to remain silent and decline to answer your question.

Are you aware of the fact that I own a private jet?

Um…

On advice of counsel I respectfully assert my right to remain silent and decline to answer your question.

So are you saying you aren’t interested? 

On advice of counsel I respectfully assert my right to remain silent and decline to answer your question.

But you’re not saying no.

On advice of counsel I respectfully assert my right to remain silent and decline to answer your question.

Ok, I’m gonna take that as a maybe.

Lynda says “Go to jail” to the tv screen and that actually got a little laugh out of Mary, so Lynda said it again “Go to jail”, but she didn’t get a response the second time. Then she tried to kick it up a notch and said “make some license plates.” She even looked around the room to see if anyone was laughing. No one was. She looked disappointed. Lynda needs to stop trying to be funny.

Paul thinks that now  -in the middle of the hearing- is the perfect time for Michaele to tell Tareq and congress that she wants a divorce. But he does admit that she’s over 40 and has straw for brains, so really, what is she going to do with the rest of her life? She can’t get a job doing makeup after this scandal so she’s kinda stuck with him at this point. Lynda disagrees. She thinks Michaele should take off her makeup and start servicing people for tips. She didn’t clarify if she meant as a waitress or as a stripper in the champagne room.


In his interview, Paul totally ratted Lynda out for getting all her money from her ex husband and not her modeling agency. Haha! Awesome! I wish he would have said it to her face.
I have two things to say about this information:
1) I’m sorry I called Lynda a DC Madam, I no longer think her modeling agency is a cover for an escort agency.
and
2) I KNEW it!
I knew there was no way she afforded that house by running a dinky modeling agency in DC. So now the truth comes out: she lives off of a divorce settlement while she plays “model agency” in the basement the same way Sheree plays “actress” in her kitchen. Thank you Paul!

It is now another day, and the women are once again back at Lynda’s to sit on her lawn furniture and gossip about the Salahi’s.

Still love this dog

Cat calls Tareq and Michaele celebrity terrorists. At least she didn’t say plastic not fantastic again. Stacie wants to know if Cat will say that to their face. Cat says of course she will. Stacie is thrilled to hear this and immediately invites Cat to dinner at her house with the Salahi’s. Mary and Lynda decline the invitation.

Cat says she’ll go to the dinner to support Stacie in her quest for the truth – not to confront the Salahi’s. Stacie is not happy to hear this and tries to get Cat fired up by reminding her that she was not only uninvited to the White House, but that you my dear got black balled because of them.

Now we are over to Stacie’s for her dinner which seemed to consist only of humus, wine and desert. I’m guessing that after the whole White House snafu none of the restaurants in DC wanted the Bravo cameras in their establishments and that’s why this entire episode was shot in the women’s homes. The Salahi’s arrive, but Cat is unusually quiet and doesn’t say anything. Anticlimactic.

Cat’s stares at the corner. The cold shoulder! That will teach those Salahi’s a lesson!

After another moment Cat gets up without saying a word, puts on her jacket, picks up her purse, and begins to leave. But first she takes a brief moment to tell the Salahi’s that they are fake and a disgrace to America.

Michaele says “You are not a lady” and promptly runs out of the room. Then Cat walks out too. She didn’t even get to say plastic not fantastic or celebrity terrorist! And that was it. That was the big showdown between the women. Boo!! Hiss!! This is so lame! Pull a weave, flip a table, do something! This show is actually making me miss Ashley. Ashley! Look what you’ve done to me DC! I hate you.

Outside we see that Cat didn’t actually leave. She is just standing in the rain on the front porch talking to Lynda on the phone while a mysterious hand holds an umbrella for her. Who was it (Ramona?) who said DC had the worst production crew?

The Turners are not satisfied with the disappointing level of drama and try to convince Michaele to stay. She seems unsure, so Jason calls Cat rude and says it’s better that she left. That was enough to convince Michaele that this was not a set up and she eventually takes off her jacket and sits down again.

Stacie tells the Salahi’s that she doesn’t want to prosecute them like everyone else has been doing. Don’t worry Stacie, I’m pretty sure you need a law degree to prosecute someone.

Jason tells them that they are wearing a scarlet letter and that they put shame on the family name. True as it may be, I can never understand why reality stars always expect their cast mates to sit quietly and take it while they call them names.

Michaele says she is done and gets up to leave. Tareq says he would love to talk about it except they “are under strict orders by… by… I can’t… I mean, they told us not to even…  it’s just…” he looks at the camera and let’s his words trail off. I bet if the camera hadn’t been there he would have said that president Obama called him personally earlier in the night and asked him not to speak about it, but that he is very, very sorry about the misunderstanding.

With Jason and Stacie on their heels trying get every last bit of drama they can out of this situation, the Salahi’s finally make it through the house and out the door. The back door! Gasp! Stacie says they are truly delusional and crazy. Maybe it was a trick of the camera, but from what was shown it looked like their car was parked outside the back door.

I don’t blame them for going out the back. Stacie’s front yard is made of dirt and it was raining.

Now that the Salahi’s are gone, Cat is invited back inside. The show ends with Cat saying “It’s never a dull moment in DC, eh?” Sorry Cat, but I disagree.
Sianara DC! Off to watch RHOBH!

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63 Responses to The Real Housewives of DC – The Alleged Crashing Of The State Dinner

  1. momsthoughts says:

    Thank you for wrapping this up….its over now right? We don’t have to see them anymore? Maybe Cat can move to NY or NJ? I wouldn’t mind seeing her again…..

  2. MickeyMouth says:

    Fun recap as always! Will anyone care if there isn’t a 2nd season to RHODC? meh

  3. Jill_BRLA says:

    Maybe not your best recap, but look what you had to work with. The recap is better than the episode. DC <—– boring!

  4. boston02127 says:

    Thank God it’s over….total snoozefest. Luv’d the recap thou!

  5. Jo Jo says:

    Nobody seems to remember that Cat was reported to be a tabloid sensation in England where she was photographed with one of the young princes and claimed to have had a “snogging” session with him. Snogging is Brit for making-out. Britains were appalled and she was labeled as a celebrity seeker or as we say in America “Media Whore”.

  6. Pingback: Tweets that mention The Real Housewives of DC – The Alleged Crashing Of The State Dinner #RHODC | -- Topsy.com

  7. RHofWhatever says:

    I tought I was the only one wondering where the hell that umbrella holder came from. Does P Diddy loan his out?

  8. Waxdiva says:

    Late schmate…loved the recap, especially the prologues.

  9. SavingGrace says:

    Michaele is the most EVIL of all housewives, there is something straight up sinister about that woman.

    I really believe that she is the mastermind behind all of Tariq’s & her misdeeds from defrauding people for money to trying to show how easy it is to get to the President.

    Great Recap RCH!

    • shaigyrl says:

      I now believe that based on the way she shut it down. Tareq appeared ready to answer Stacie’s question. He lost weight so I think he’s stressed out by this. They both buy into each other’s crazy though IMO.

    • Jennifer says:

      Before this episode I would have disagreed with you about Michaele. I’m not sure she had the brains to actually be sinister, however during the scene at Stacie’s house, she grew a set of gonads and stood right up and out the door she wanted to go and not discuss anything. Normally she would have said “Oh Stacie, I just love you, tell me I am the prettiest”. Here she clearly showed she knew what was going on and the reprecussions of speaking about it. She knows how to twist language to suit her needs and loves to “say things” without acutally “saying them”. The whole while Taraq just sits there trying to figure out how he will keep her with him when the money is totally gone and they are headed to prison or community service or whatever, or someone with REAL money comes along – she’ll flee! Loved the recap. It was great despite the material you had to work with.

  10. shaigyrl says:

    Did anyone else think: “I wonder whose wine they slapped their own label on” when they showed up at the Turner’s residence?

  11. Sangfroid says:

    RCH, I think you nailed the conversation between M & T.
    Hilarious.
    The ride to the White House was uncomfortable to watch .
    They looked like Big Bird and Ernie sitting in the back of their white limo.
    How can anyone make sitting in a limo look so awkward?
    And just a thought, Is Mick-elle-uh trying to look innocent by wearing white?
    White Limo, White suit, White blond hair, Messianic complex perhaps?

  12. Squirrels says:

    LMAO @ the marbles as well as the inheritance update. Frigging hilarious!

  13. TareksWife says:

    Was it just me or were any of you freaked out by the look on Michaeles face when she tried to force tears from her eyes? I mean, the heifer looked other-wordly….Jeez!

  14. Pingback: Bravo’s The Real Housewives of DC: Reunion Part I «

  15. Pest control lady says:

    The recap is definitely better than the show! Best part is the entire plead the fifth segment! Bravo!

  16. Z0mbiemom says:

    LMAO at the 419 Nigerian $ fraud!! Tired my ass – I mean bollocks – this was funny and creative

    • Sardonica Abu Fumbalamina says:

      Zombiemom
      I, too, live in small Nigerian village. I am commenting from a small cafe with wi fi. I have many sisters and brothers and we very hungry. May you help me please? I only want a trailer like rich Americans have. I am not even asking for doublewide. I not fancypantsy woman. My cardboard box was nice until heavy rains. Please help and thank you in advance.

  17. AngryOldMan says:

    The day after the banquet, when Tareq was sitting at the desk, did he say Rob or Rahm? It sounded like Rahm to me as in Rahm Emanuel, former White House Chief of Staff. Clearly it was a fake phone call (there was no one on the other end) but typical hoaxed name-dropping from Tareq.

    Also, are Stacie and Jason the most 2 faced ever on any Real Housewives show? When Cat left, they were firm but almost friendly to the Salahi’s. After the Salahi’s left and Cat came back, they completely misrepresented what had just happened. Plus, Stacie and Jason tried so so so so hard to make something happen and all they could come up with was the Salahi’s left through the back door?

    Again, it’s amazing how these women find the most looney Housewife to gang up on thereby making her sympathetic. It’s like the New Jersey HWs with Danielle. Kelly BS or Jill Zarin could have gotten there too but, well, they just didn’t know when to shut up and look sad.

    Thanks for the recap. I can only imagine how tough it was to slog through that. I had a tough time watching the whole thing.

    • The Turners really wanted some drama to happen, but they didn’t want to be the ones causing it. They were totally hoping that Cat and Michaele would get into a huge fight. In Stacie’s interview she was like “Cat went off!” Really? When? I didn’t see that. She was incredibly calm if you ask me. And she didn’t say half of what she could have or should have said. I don’t understand the whole scandal over the back door. Jason walked them to the door, so if he didn’t want them to leave that way, why didn’t he say something? Anyway, I’m pretty sure that’s where their car was parked and Jason was just really trying to make a scandal out of something. I haven’t really liked Stacie through out this whole show, but now I don’t like Jason either. If they wanted drama they should have just started it themselves instead of being so two faced. And they totally fail at pot stirring.

      • WindyCityWondering says:

        They are the most charming two faced couple on HW tv….and for the set up of Cat vs Missy at their home – shame on them! And why exactly was Stacie going after Cat at the reunion? Cat wasn’t comfortable (or welcomed/included) at Stacie’s aunt’s house – Stacie set that up and saw to it. If this is all because Cat doesn’t think Tyra Banks is all that then shame on her!

    • Squirrels says:

      Oh please, like Rahm Emanuel would have Salami’s phone number? (cough…sputter…puke…)

  18. TT in OC says:

    I nominate RealCityHousewife to be the funniest reality tv blog of the year (just tell me where to send the nomination). It takes talent to “cook up” a great blog with limited materials.

    • Sardonica says:

      So very true.She has the ability to make the unbearable and the unwatchable hilarious. It is like one is given a lump of clay and in turn creates a good TV show. OMG! She is like the Goddess Of Reality TV!!! I bow to my leader.
      __/\__

  19. ilovelynn says:

    I don’t care how hard it is to keep your eyes open when you are watching these ladies, your recaps are always, always hysterical! thanks for giving me my laugh 0f the day. tears were running down my cheeks while I was reading your photo captions! xxx

  20. tuzentswurth says:

    Thanks RCH! Even if your heart wasn’t in it, you delivered. You really crack me up with Mary and the wine! If you watched the reunion you know she totally has followed your recaps! She seems bland but you really pull mileage out of her and make me burst out laughing. I’ve come to like her for her innocent entertainment value. Her face is priceless.
    I hope you do a reunion recap too. Michaele was asked if she ever goes anywhere without Tareq and she made this awful fake crying face like she was a helpless prisoner, wtf?
    Also Stacie finally found her father and she has 10 siblings eager to meet their American daughter/sister….oh, after Jason pays them a dowry for her. I want to see season 2 just to find out what up with the Nigerian relatives.

    • Thanks. I actually don’t dislike Mary as much as I did in the beginning. I guess she’s ok. Stacie actually tuned out to be my least favorite, and I wasn’t expecting that. I’ve been hearing about the dowry all day. Lol. I’ll probably recap the reunion. I’m hoping to get to see it tonight.

      • tuzentswurth says:

        Exactly, the initial reactions I had to these ladies turned around so much that I surprised myself! Mary,Cat and even Lynda grew on me (though Lynda-still a whack job) and Stacie….opinion went down, she’s so uptight.

  21. Sardonica says:

    Didn’t watch the show. Recaps made in almost worthy to look at. Loved the dog pic. Cute guy, or gal woofer. I dont know. Didn’t watch after 1st episode induced the coma. In ICU for week while they tried to revive me. I think I saw a bright light and heard the words “realhousewivesbeverlyhills” Not sure. Nurse or angel? was calling me and saying, “don’t follow the bravolight, come back” All hazy right now. May need to sue Andy???
    Moving on …I mainlined, er, I mean watched RHBH 2 hrs ago and whoa. What a trainwreck. I think this will make life easier for you. Nothing compares to this group of women in HD ona big a** screen. Halloween came early to my house and the candy looks really, really good!

  22. OneMoreInBoston says:

    You.Are.Fucking.Hilarious

  23. Distressed says:

    Excellent recap. I don’t watch this crew, but I always appreciate your recaps.

    Just one hmmmm on the Salamis.

    How can a person who has done absolutely nothing wrong, has consulted attorneys who have determined that this person has done nothing wrong then invoke the 5th? The fifth amendment gives everyone the right to stand mute in order not to incriminate themselves. If there is no crime then there can be no opportunity to incriminate yourself. You dig?

    Andy Cohen, codename Beelzebub, wrote on one of his BS blogs that Bravo decided to go ahead with the show because their legal staff determined that the salamis did nothing wrong. So which is it?

    Does anyone know what the ratings are like for this franchise? I would be overjoyed to find out they’re the lowest rated show on the network.

  24. iwannabeanarchy says:

    LOL – on Stacie and “prosecute.” And that bitch “supposobly” has an MBA from Harvard?!? I guess it’s kind of like how Kelly Bensimon “went” to Columbia.

  25. crazysweet says:

    Stacey’s birth father found an even BETTER way to con the money from them, at the reunion she says the whole family is flying there so she and Jason can have a proper marriage since it’s not recognized in Nigeria because Jason didn’t PAY her DOWRY!! That little brilliant plan slip past ALL our jaded minds as we thought he’d just go for the obvious mail/banking scam. What a winner.

  26. crazysweet says:

    p.s.I said it from the start I didn’t like stacey or jason, I did call them out on here early on for being fake. I saw right through that act. I know a set up when I see one.

    • OneMoreInBoston says:

      @crazysweet-
      I’m not following you?
      Not trying to pick a fight- but interested to hear what you mean.
      If you mean two faced=fake, yes I saw some of that but
      Set up in what way?

      • crazysweet says:

        the set up of drama i.e. putting cat and erica in the same room when they clearly didnt hit it off and erica’s not a housewife why was she at the ice cream function? because stacey knew something would go down and in fact did nothing when it did! if your friend verbally attacked another person in your home wouldn’t you calm the shit down since they are all guests? or the set up cat and the salehi’s at the end and various little stuff in between. just never got a good vibe of them from the start. they are the people who pretend to be the peace makers when they are really the shit disturbers. kinda like the countess.

  27. Jens model agency says:

    This why so many of our enemies are able to get in so deep and damage our countries. If blond bimbos have no difficulty, it must be a breeze for a financed terror campaign!

  28. micphilly says:

    OMG! Thank you so much for the laugh! I really thought that this was one of the (insert yawn here) show.

  29. The Real Housewives of DC – The Alleged Crashing Of The State Dinner…..good post very interesting too……I always appreciate your recaps.I don’t mind how tough it is to keep your eyes open when you are inspection these ladies, your recaps are always, always frantic! thanks for giving me my laugh 0f the day. tears were running down my cheeks while I was reading your photo captions……
    Thanks for sharing……

  30. Pingback: The Real Housewives of DC – Q&A With The Salahi’s |

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