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I am what I am
I’m gonna be the next Robin Leech.
I am no longer responsible for my daughter. Just want to be clear on that.
Is bitch better?
I’m on the show! Suck it Teresa!
So what do you think Danielle is doing?
I wish she would leave us alone. I just want her out of my life. How are we gonna get rid of her?
Well… we could stop talking about her all the time.
What did you just say to me?!
I just want her to understand that me and her will never be friends and I want nothing to do with her. Why can’t she understand that? You know what I’m gonna do? I think I’m gonna have lunch with her ex husband. I’m gonna call him right now and set up a lunch date.
I can’t believe she won’t just leave us alone. All I want is for her to be out of our lives. Maybe I’ll testify against her in the lawsuit. The lady that waxes my chucky said that her cousin’s best friend’s aunt said that Danielle said some pretty bad things about her ex. Yup, I’m gonna testify against her, that’s what I’ll do. Then maybe she’ll get the point that I want nothing to do with her.
And if that doesn’t work, I’ll call her and invite her to a meeting. I just never want to see her or hear her name again, ya know what I mean?
What will it take for her to understand that I don’t like her? Should I just go to her house? Maybe I should just show up on her door step, invite myself in, and sit down on the couch. Then maybe she’ll get the point that I want nothing to do with her.
Seriously, this woman is unbelievable.
I have integrity. And she is garbage.
I’m outta here bitches! Off to Tahiti to film my proverbial new show.
So next week when Joe gets out of prison, do you guys want to go out to dinner with me and my husband?
Sure sounds good.
Great. So how is he doing in there? Is he having a hard time?
No he love’s it! He told me he was thinking of shanking someone so he can stay in there longer. He said rapists and murderers are a pleasure to live with after spending 10 years with Teresa.
How is little Joey Jr doing?
Oh he’s great. Fortunately for him he looks like my side of the family.
Oh I almost forgot, I got you some cookies.
Oh thank you! Corrado’s is my favorite!!
I know they are. And Teresa knows too. That’s why she flipped out when I brought the same cookies to her house on Christmas. Bwuhahahaha!
Welcome everyone to the A. J. Willner Auction of the Giudice possessions. First up we have a Faux antique vase. It is a high quality duplicate made from ceramic material and was carefully designed to be an exact replica of the one in Melissa Gorga’s home. We’ll start the bidding at 50 dollars.
Do I hear 50 dollars? 50 dollars? Anyone? 50 dollars?
Ok we’ll come back to that one. Next up we have a suit of armour for midget’s. Very rare, ladies and gentlemen, to find a suit of armour this size. We’ll start the biding at 100 dollars. Do I hear 100 dollars? Anyone? Anyone?
80 dollars? Anyone? No? Ok, 50 dollars! Do I hear 50 dollars?
Hello? Anyone? Ok, fine, 10 bucks! Just give me 10 bucks and it can be yours! Anyone? No? Seriously?
I’ll fucking kill anyone who touches my stuff!! I’m from Patterson!! I’ll pin you all down!! Ya hear me?! Do NOT break up my furniture!!!!
Ok people, just try to ignore the animal in the window. She’s not dangerous, and we have men here with tranquilizer guns just in case.
Sorry for the interruption folks. Now back to the auction.
Next up we have –
HEY! HEY! Listen – how about I give ya a thousand bucks for the whole lot!!
Um… I don’t know.
Listen buddy stop wasting my time, ok? I could scratch my ass with all this crap and you know it. Just take the thousand bucks and be happy with it.
Ok. Sold! To the old lady with the itchy ass!
TOM! Load all this crap into the truck. We’ll take it down to Patterson and give it to the guys to furnish their crack houses with.
AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t belive this nasty old bitch took my stuff! I’m gonna kill her!!!
You can’t do this to me!!!!!!! I’m a DIVAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Giudice, we are with the Towaco medical examiners office, and we regret to inform you that your wife’s head exploded.
No sir, I don’t think you understand, she’s dead.
Yeah I understood ya. That’s why it’s cool. See, I took out a million dolla life insurance policy on her a month ago. Easiest mill I eva made!
HEY GUYS!!! Who wants candy from the commissary?! It’s on me!!