You’re all a bunch of clowns
I’m hungry
I’m the star of this proverbial show
Huh? Wait… what was I sposed ta say again?
So what do you think Danielle is doing right now?
I don’t know. Probably sleeping with a married man. She’s such a whore.
She is garbage.
Or maybe she’s beating someone with a 9mm pistol. I read the court records. She likes to beat people with 9mm pistols.
You can put clown makeup and a red wig on a pig but it’s still a pig.
Or maybe she is picking up her daughters from school because they were crying so much the nurse decided to send them home.
Those kids have no light in their eyes.
Or maybe she’s making a sex tape with some random guy. She’s disgusting. Whore. Liar. Bitch.
She will never be a friend of mine.
She wished my daughter was dead. She wished she would kill herself. I kinda wish that too sometimes, but still, you’re not supposed to say things like that out loud. It’s not right. Wait – did I just say that out loud?
I feel a 5 o’clock shadow coming on. Gotta go shave before Albert comes home.
So the other day I was sucking this guys dick…
Mom, I really don’t want to hear this, please.
Don’t interrupt your mother. I raised you better than that. So anyway, I didn’t want to swallow because I had already swallowed like 3 loads that day and was feeling kinda full…
MOM! Stop!!
…he was about to blow his load so I pulled his “thing” out of my mouth and -BLAM- cum shot right in the face. Got it all over my new extensions. Can u believe that? I walked outta that public restroom looking like “Something About Mary”. Lol.
Oh…em….gee
Never have sex. It’s disgusting. Unless someone important offers to advance your career, then it’s totally worth it. I heard Gilles Bensimon likes younger women.
Mom please, I don’t want to be a model, I just want to be a normal 16 year old.
You listen to me – I created you which means I OWN you until you are 18. You are going to develop an eating disorder and a cocaine habit and become a famous model and buy me a proverbial condo on the water. Do you understand me?
Yes mom.
And you… you better find a talent fast because I don’t think the singing thing is gonna work out and there is no use in keeping you around unless you benefit me in some way. U got that?
Yes mom.
HEY TERESA!!!! I just got back from a shopping spree in ITALY! Too bad you couldn’t come! No money! So sad!
My chandelier cost 100 thousand dollars and it’s all paid for. How much did you NOT pay for your FUGAZI chandelier?
I know no one is gonna be ripping the iron railings outta my house! When is the REPO MAN gonna be here Teresa?! I got my camera ready!
Get your nasty old lady ass off my property!!
It’s not gonna be your property for much longer! Maybe I’ll buy your house at the auction and rent it out to low income families because no one with REAL MONEY would ever live in this ugly warehouse!
HEY Teresa I know a really good doctor for laser hair removal! I would recommend him to you, but unfortunately he doesn’t take CREDIT!
HEY you better not be fucking Joe on that pool table, I want it in good condition for when I move it into my pink basement!
Don’t worry, Joe isn’t fucking her on the pool table – or anywhere else for that matter.
Who the hell are you?
I’m Tara. I was just dropping Joe off because he doesn’t have a license anymore.
Hey u wanna be my friend? I’ll buy you stuff and let ya use my driver and my Bently.
Hey Joe. Joooooeee. How did ya get home?
A guy from work dropped me off.
It didn’t look like a guy from work.
Waddya talkin about? It was a guy. You’re crazy.
Jooooooe. U betta not be lying to me. If I find out u were with that blonde who-ah one more time….
Yo I told ya I wasn’t. Now shut up before I kick ya butt.
Gimme a kiss Joooe! U wanna see some cleavalage?
Come on Tree. My day was bad enough already. Leave me alone wit my drink will ya?
Gimme a kiss Joe! Joooooooeee! Ain’t I worth it? Ain’t I???
There is a thousand bucks in my jacket pocket. Just take the money and fuck off will ya?
Joe loves me so much. He can’t get enough of me. We have sex like 10 times a day. That’s way more than he has sex with anyone else. I mean… he doesn’t have sex with anyone else – obviously. But I’m just sayin if he did, he wouldn’t have sex with them as much as he has sex with me. Sometimes I forget to feed the kids cause we fuck so much I don’t have time for nothin else. And he buys me all kinds of jewelry. We fuck and then he buys me shit. Sex and diamonds everyday, that’s my life. I’m so happy.
HEY TREE!!!! Shut the fuck up! You gotta say sapphires remember! The lawyer said u gotta say sapphires in front of the cameras!
Oh right. He buys me lots of saph – sapa – HOW DO YA SAY IT JOE?!
SAPPHIRES!
Right, so like I was saying, he buys me a lotta sapphires. Because you know we’re like in a recession and the section 8 tenants don’t pay the rent. So ya know, it’s hard for untra-pan-yur slum lord pizza makers these days.
Why do you always wear that ugly fucking hat?
Nice to see you too mom.
Don’t be sarcastic with me. I asked you a question. Why are you always dressed like a homeless person?
Mom please stop.
Look at the nose on you. You didn’t get that from my side of the family. Why don’t you fix that honker? I’m sure Chris will pay for it. You want me to ask him?
No mom, please just leave me alone.
Are you ever gonna get a job? I think you should just go work at McDonalds. You are probably too stupid to get a job anywhere else.
Mom stop, seriously.
Hey – I’m trying to have a conversation with you because I love you. All I’m saying is that you’re ugly and stupid. We can’t do anything about your stupidity, but I think a good plastic surgeon could fix your face up a bit.
MOM!!! SHUT UP!!!!
WHAT did you just say to me?! You disrespectful little shit!! Get outta my house! NOW!!!
Fine I was leaving anyway!
I just don’t know where her attitude comes from! I did everything I could possibly do as a mother. She’s an adult now. I’m not responsible for her behavior anymore. She is your problem now, Justice System. Hahaha.
realcityhousewife.wordpress.com 
Priceless! I had to put my hand over my mouth so as not to wake the family. Seeing KimG in T’s driveway put me over the edge.
You rock!
Doesn’t Jac’s ‘cleavalege’ in that last shot look like a butt crack at the top of her dress??
Wow! You are so right!
How could anyone not laugh at this? Its so perfect! I bet all the major networks are calling you to do a parody show, right? Or does SNL want you on their writing team?
Yep. That pretty much sums up the season! Well done…
Omg! I wake everyone up cackling and snortin! Holy hell. Thanks for starting my day off with a bang. Loves this!!!
You are a genius! Thank you for all this entertainment….
Loved it!!
Did Clown Lady C borrow her reunion dress from T? Look at the picture right before Jac’s house shot. Really, did I need to see Juicy without a shirt this early in the morning? Coffee, empty stomach, and shirtless Jooooeeee is not a good combination!
Kim G was HI-larious!! Actually the whole thing was hilarious but Kim G was the icing on the “proverbial” cake. Sad thing is I can totally see Danielle having that conversation with her kids.
Damn!!! Teresa’s face screaming out of the window at Kim G had me rolling I was laughing so hard!!! And Jac shoving in the poptarts was perfect!! The best recap ever!! Hey, why does Caroline shave? Hasn’t she heard of waxing? What kind of idiot would say on national tv that they have to shave? Her husband and kids must be so proud of her! Ooooh! maybe she could talk to Teresa about shaving back some of that forehead of hers!
I think she said she shaves to “exfoliate” not to remove hair…lol 🙂 I prefer a nice scrub myself…but w/e.
Not to remove hair?? She is full off it!!! Who in their right mind would exfoliate with a razor? There are too many cheap products out there that would do a better job than a razor, especially if you lather up and your razor glides like it should. If you’re scraping hard enough to exfoliate you’re gonna get razor burn! Or maybe the removal of hair is just the lovely ‘side benefit’. She must think we’re idiots!
Yes, she “exfoliates”. I also “exfoliate” my legs every morning.
And I exfoliate my underarms.
Okay…who is going to type what else they exfoliate? Me? Well, yea, figures. I exfoliate my lady area. Sometimes.
Sardonica I was too classy to say it! 🙂
WoW! Who gave me a thumbs down? haha
Caroline?… Caroline? So sorry you were offended by our comments. A loofah sponge is cheap and should work better than a razor. (And no nicks or little tissue dots stuck to your face!!) If you shave because a hormonal problem causes excess hair then you have our sympathy but to say it’s for exfoliation is like Jac explaining Ashley nose job was necessary due to a deviated septum. Especially since you didn’t HAVE to say anything about it!!
@ Sardonica – You just made my day with that one! LOL!
Seems whenever you say something Caroline doesn’t like, the thumbs downs make an appearance. hmmmm…..
Hey squirrels!
Hi Oopsy!!!!!
Good to see you here! I just know you’re thinking, “who the heck is Oopsy”; on the other blog I mostly lurked because I was always too late to chime in but your posts always made me laugh.
Of course I remember you. I enjoy laughing with you over the antics of those nitwit D Listers. Hope to see more of you.
I love RCH’s recaps! This blog has been alot of fun. I check in periodically to see what’s up and it keeps me laughing during the day
While admiring Kim G’s crone like posture as she stood in the driveway taunting Teresa, I noticed the tumbleweeds in a little enclosure in the middle of the drive. While they do match the fluff on Kim’s head remarkably well, I have to wonder as to the purpose of that bit of landscaping. Is it a pet cemetery? And…Is their mansion/warehouse really stucco.
This is good for my brain, it gets me thinking,and like National Geographic, exposes me to other cultures. Thanks for helping me keep senility at bay. You’ve made education fun.
Oops, need more coffee, put my email addy in the website box.
This thumb’s down is an obvious red herring planted by Caroline, Sangfroid.
Lol. I noticed that too. I guess when you are fake rich you tend to overlook things like landscaping.
Good point actually. Like how you can sometimes tell fakers by their shoes. (And I learned that on ‘The Waltons’!)
I remember something about that. Wasn’t it the condition of the heels. If there was too much wear then they did not have the financial stability they were claiming? A person of means would have more than one pair or would have the heel repaired.
Reminds me of the line from Silence of the Lambs where Lector makes note of Starling’s “good bag and your cheap shoes.”
Found this in spam too. What is going on here?
Yep. That is the episode. It’s true though. If you don’t have alot a money fancy shoes aren’t top on the list.
Yes, landscaping and car insurance.
It’s always da last ting done when buildin, re-renovating or somesuch. Seems dey just got cawt right before da landscraper’s got dere. I thunk dey was fake rich way before evry body new dey was Fugazi-ing der way round town.
teehee…tumbleweeds
haha… other cultures. Lucky Sangfroid has been able to keep senility at bay. I cannot say the same about myself.
oh! Another thumbs down!!! I am feeling Daniell-ishy
This made me think. The Guidices’ have no pets. Everyone has some sort of animal / creature to care about. Even if it is a fish. There is something wrong with a family with kids, no less, who has no pet. Maybe this is why they are so cold and calculating? I would send them a dog or a cat but I am afraid they would eat it or wear it.
That is strange, now that you mention it. We didn’t see any pets for their parents either. Just about everyone I know (except an elderly couple I know but they USED to have pets) has a pet of some sort. Especially if they have children. Joe would eat it and Teresa would wear it.
It’s funny you pointed that out because I noticed that too.
It’s weird to see a family with no pets. But for the sake of the pet, I’m glad they don’t have any.
I assume it’s because they are first generation and came from a village where animals are used for work and food, not as pets.
I have some European friends who think it’s crazy to allow any kind of animal inside the house. You’d think there was a horse standing in my living room shitting on the floor from the way they react.
Teresa has pets….her “gays”
That could be one of the reasons Bravo cut T’s cooking segments out of the show…..just sayin’.
Oh snap!
I was imaging the show’s ending credits:
“RIP Fluffy.”
And for more of Teresa’s recipes go to Bravotv.com
Thus the need for the driveway Pet Cemetery.
Hilarious!
Need a hobby, I hope it is because of the pets and not the gays. Hmmmm…..
Speaking of pets…gotta take my dog to the park. TTYL
They do have pets, or claimed 2 on the bk. (i can’t imagine why you claim your pets) But I also saw on a fan page she said they had 3 German shepherds.
Honestly I can’t imagine them being able to take proper care of a goldfish.
How many parties / home tours / dinners etc has Teresa filmed in her house?
If they have dogs they must be either tied up in the back yard or locked in the basement or something.
Oh I could see them owning German Shepherds because the are good guard dogs but not so much as pets. Remember Caroline had a German Shepherd that she was training to attack.
Hi Oopsy, German Sheperds are good guard dogs because they have a proclivity to be loyal and protective. They make wonderful, loving, dedicated pets too. Training dogs to attack is a bad idea except for police dogs, imho.
tuzentswurth, they are good dogs and very dedicated to their owners. My sister has a wonderful German Shepherd. I just think the Guidices would not own one as a pet to love and be part of the family; They would probably only own one for protection. We would have seen the dogs otherwise like we saw Cookie and Ginger.
I re-read my comment and can see why it looks as if I meant they weren’t good pets. I take my Lab to the dog park every evening and he has German Sheperd buddies who are regulars like we are. They play together really well and were careful with him when he was a puppy. My sister’s dog senses when she is about to have a siezure and my sister knows to warn her husband and sit down. I just meant they would only have it for protection and not so much to as a pet to love. No offense meant to German Shepherds
You never see many toys either.
But what child needs toys or pets when they have the worlds largest collection of headbands?
Hahaha!
Gia is too busy looking at herself in the mirror & Milania is too busy beating the snot out of Gabriella to play with toys like normal children.
haha hilarious comment!!
I think its the wisest decision for her to not have pets. 4 kids running around the house and no nanny to help and with all those chores (if she is doing them like she insists she is).
Hilarious! Well Done! I don’t know which segment is funniest, they are all satchels of gold! Just when I think it can’t get better, oh yeah, it gets better. This recap is so authentic that it is amazing.
This is what REALLY happened live, but the producers dubbed in other dialogue. You are smokin’ hot for finding the real scripts!
Best episode all season! Maybe you could give us the previews for next season? I’d love to see what’s going to happen between Teresa and her SIL!
Ooooh! Steph B you’re on to something! I would LOVE previews. would they be precaps?
Please, please on previews. n serious withdrawal until RHBH and your versions are so much better than the show! I can’t even begin to type what made me laugh the most because it all made me laugh and I verped some of my lunch, too!
Oh, I know! A preview (pre-cap??) of the AUCTION would be too too funny!!! Let’s see how close RCH gets to the real thing!
Yes, I second the motion! You would have an absolute heyday with the auction — more Kim G taunting Tree …. hehe
Perhaps a J.Peterman style auction catalog. With commentary by my favorite crone Kim G.
🙂
Sweet baby Jesus that was hilarious! Nearly spat coffee all over my work computer … AGAIN! Time to post the disclosure at the top of the page again =)
That pretty much sums it up. Really well.
Wow! You really are hilarious!!!! I think I love your recaps more than actual RHoNJ episodes! You managed to capture the essesence of every housewife and bring real personality, humor, and narrative to what has become (during Season 2) a train-wreck “Jerry Springer” proto-type mockery of life in the posh suburbs with the Manzo/Laurita/Giudice ladies! Thank you for doing the recap! I think it will keep me laughing all day!
Wow a little graphic on the Danielle dialogue, but sadly I could imagine her having those type of conversations with her daughters.
Funny stuff.
I know it was graphic. I thought about that.
But in the end I decided to go with what I though would be the most realistic.
If you are summing up the season in a few frames that was all very authentic for each housewife. Looking at the parts with Joe and Teresa should be required viewing for the Jersey shore guys since it’s like a visit from the ghost of Christmas future for every one of them. I watched it at work last night and Paulie had a date with one that actually looked a bit like a young Teresa and I almost choked when he said ‘this kinda girl, with those kinda morals, is what I’m lookin for’ or something like that…someone seriously needs to tell these guys (that someone being Joe Giudice), that the whole madonna/whore thing they live by really translates into gold-digger/whore, and in the long term they are going to be juggling both, drinking too much, and telling ridiculous stories about their latest DUI.
Reading this it also occurred to me I would love to hear Danielle do a cover of “There are worse things I could do” by Rizzo in the original Grease movie, it suits her perfectly.
Glad I typed ‘lady parts’ and not what I started to type in above post. Note to self: Micky Mouth is classy unlike me
My lady flower would have been appropriate too. (I kid)
haha…lady flower. Nice
Holy smokes! You nailed it…I agree, a preview would be a phenominal piece. Hell woman, you have made my day! I also agree with the poster who said you should be writing for SNL. Then again, you’re too good for SNL! Did u tweet this to any of them?
No. I don’t know who any of them are on twitter. I don’t really watch SNL. I used to like it when the two girls did the news, but they aren’t on it anymore.
You are a genius!!! This was just excellent! LOL I have to pretend I’m not laughing – not easy!!
OMG this was freaking hilarious!!! Still LMAO!!! Esp. the scenes with Kim G in the driveway and Teresa yelling out the window….and then Kim G asking who the hell is the blonde chick. tee hee!!!
I know!!! Her big ass face in the window had me ROLLING!!! That was my favorite!!!
Teresa’s big head filling up the window…hehehe. I am still snickering. GREAT JOB!
You’re so damn much fun, girl!!! Thanks for another hilarious recap, I look forward to them!
This is really quite wickedly delicious and completely apt. Scathing. And OMG LOL funny. Granted, these “woman” provide a target rich environment, but you’ve scored direct hits.
Of course the ultimate in art reflecting life is Kim G in the driveway screaming at Teresa. (Which is precisely what Kim G does on Twitter of course.) And Teresa screaming back at her…who couldn’t see Teresa saying just that? It’s perfect! If Kim G sees this she’d probably think, “Damn, why didn’t I think of that first? I could have hired my own camera crew and put it on youtube!”
(Kim G on Twitter sounds like the crazy person on the corner shouting obscenities for anyone to hear. But Kim G’s got real “class” or at least real bucks, so IRL she wouldn’t be shouting on a street corner, she’d do it via drive bys in her chauffeur driven Bentley. LOL. )
That whole “segment” was based off of Kim’s tweets. Haha. I’m gong to tweet this to her. I don’t think she knows how to read her tweets though. She never responds to anyone.
That was priceless! Keep up the great work. So much fun to read this blog.
OMG bsideblog better step it up, you’re right there with him! Good work and lotsa laughs!!
Those screencaps of Kim G taunting Teresa made me think of when Kim G crashed Danielle’s birthday party at that strip club during the summer…Danielle had to wait in her limo for an hour and Kim G ruined her red carpet moment. As ridiculous as Kim G is, she does provide good entertainment!! lol
Thank-you Realcityhousewife! I’m having withdrawal since there was no bonus episode.
I’m also getting the strange feeling that I know you from a past life, or maybe when I was younger.
You remind me of someone that I played Barbies with, except that I wasn’t allowed to play with you anymore because you re-styled all of my barbie’s clothes & hair, and drew-on anatomically correct body parts with permanent ink.
And how come your Barbie got to marry Davey Jones, and mine got stuck with Pat Paulsen? I didn’t even know who he was, but you told me that he was going to be President.
Thank-you for the extra episode. It was just what I needed this week.
…but my Barbie was married to Davy Jones. Is he a Mormon?
Now wait just a darn minute posers! MY doll was married to Davey Jones!
You are too much! I can’t stop laughing.
Reading your blog reminds me the good times I used to have with my best girl friends (who are living on the other side of the planet). We can talk frankly, make fun of people we don’t like, etc. Thanks RCH!
Thank you thank you thank you!!!!
DC is just not filling the void, I tried Jersey Shore too but that didn’t cut it either. So I felt like I had to do something. This was the result. Lol.
This is a good result. 🙂
First off let me say: long time reader, first time poster!
Second off, this was pure genius! I’m so lucky I decided to read this after hours, otherwise I’m fairly sure I’d be fired for laughing so loud.
Okay, so I have to admit I was curious about the whole shaving/exfoliating thing the first time Caroline mentioned it during the show. I’m not a fuzzy woman to begin with (trust me, I’m Middle Eastern if I was a furry woman I’d partake in the rituals the women of my upbringing view as religion), and I figure for her age Caroline has got great skin. Thus, I tried it. Every morning when I shower I do a quick once over–and honestly? My skin is a lot softer than when I just did a bi weekly exfoliating, and just has a better overall appearance. My husband even said my skin looks nicer–and for a man to notice that? Well, I’m sure you get my point. She may be onto something ladies. Anyway, just thought I’d throw that in there…let the hairy woman comments commence!
What?! Lmao.
But how do we know you’re not really Caroline just coming in here to fuck with us? Hmmm….
Anyone want to volunteer as a face shaving guinea pig and see if this really works?
Yea I figured I’d get that response. I’m not Caroline, I promise. I’ll give you my facebook to prove it if you want. Although I do live in NJ, I’m just here ’cause of my job, not because I want to be! Plus I doubt Caroline would have a “How I’m Getting Knocked Up” blog. Just saying! 🙂
If you aren’t a fuzzy, then you really have nothing to lose. It’s not like you’ll shave and wake up looking like a man or anything–that’s why I tried it. Just thought I’d share! 🙂
I have heard speak of this and a possible theory why men age more gracefully than women b/c of the daily ex-foliating. I even saw it on some daytime show, some aesthetician straight-razoring a woman’s face (like a barber) to ex-foliate it. It does remove the upper layers of dead skin. I’m not going to bother, too many things to do already in the morning and it would cut into my RCH blog time.
I cut my legs at least a couple times a week. I don’t know if I would trust myself with a razor near my face.
I’ve heard this as well, but I’ve also heard that once you start shaving the new growth comes in coarser and darker.
I’m going to leave this here (http://wp.me/pWaBw-dA) and ask why you can’t use an apricot scrub or something abrasive like that. Why shaving?
Anyway, a couple of years ago I had a laser procedure on my face to remove a scar and the lady who was doing it and I got to talking about all the different procedures they offered including hair removal and she admitted to shaving her face regularly. So I guess it’s not unheard of – just not spoken publicly. BTW, the laser place was located in NJ.
I do use a scrub. I use a scrub 2-3 times per week. I’m a fan of the Estee Lauder line myself, but that’s just me.
I was just curious so I tried it. I’m on the cusp of 30 and not looking forward to aging, so anything that can help that’s not in line with botox I’m all over. Not saying I’m sticking with it, just saying I noticed some improvements.
And that bearded lady could be my aunt if she missed a few days of hair removal. No joke.
OK, now I’m curious….what does your aunt do for hair removal? Does she shave? Use a product?
Most of the women on that side do laser hair removal, and go in for weekly waxing. I actually had a roommate in college that was Armenian and she went into have her lower back waxed. Scary shit.
Re: your former roommate: Holy cats!
e-rizzle, on the cusp of 30…….please do look forward to aging! The alternative isn’t a good option. Life gets better, or maybe I just can’t remember well anymore…….
Agreed tuzentswurth. Life gets better, e-rizzle. Stop worrying about aging and enjoy every year you are blessed with wrinkles and all. Laugh lines are fun to aquire! RCH is deepening mine and I don’t care.
e rizzle, women reach their sexual peak in their 30s. Look forward to it!
Ah, apparently I was a late bloomer, AGAIN !! Still, better late than never 😀
30s were good but my 40s are the best. You get to the point where little things don’t matter and you appreciate what you have.
Cant wait to enjoy that part of my life!!
Oops! Sorry about that, tired of waiting for the kids to get to bed . Just had to vent out a little bit.
lol. Been there!
Okay, sorry I can’t stop myself and this is rude, but … if Caroline knows about hair removal, and there are places in NJ that specialize in many different types of hair removal, and Teresa likes to spend money, then why hasn’t Godfather Caroline dragged Teresa to a facility that would relive her dear simian sister of that tragic hairline?
Rita Hayworth had it done.
http://www.hollywoodyesterday.com/ritas-hairline/
I would think waxing would take off as much or more dead surface cells than a razor. A good loofah and a wax job should do the trick without sharp stubble. I knew a wonderful woman who worked at the school my son attended and she shaved but it was due to excessive facial hair. Of course I would never be cruel and make fun of someone with a hormonal problem, but I just don’t believe Caroline. She can’t tell me that with all the money these women waste she wouldn’t be trying the best products for skin care. I think she had to shave because of HAIR when she was younger and that is what she is comfortable with. I just think she lies.
Ok… but WHY (WHY OH WHY OH WHY) would you bring it up on national television???
No matter what her reasons for doing it – she had know that would be a BAD thing to say on camera!
Oh I agree! But she is all knowing and of course the viewers would think, “Hmmm…yes yes. Caroline’s skin is perfectiom. I must follow her lead and do this too and if I am VERY lucky I can have the results that she does.” It wouldn’t occur to her that we would throw the bullshit flag on that.
Perfectiom???
hahaha!
I have enjoyed checking in through-out the day and look forward to the same tomorrow. It feels good to start the day laughing my ass off! Good night!
Maybe Caroline’s got a deal with Gillette for a new skin care line that features shaving gel and lady razors?
It’s a kinda peculiar thing to mention on national TV for sure.
No offense, but Caroline is not one of those people that you look at and think “Wow I wish I could look like that.”
Now if Ramona starts shaving her face, maybe I’ll try it.
I sure would like to know what kind of face cream Ramona has been using for the past 10 years before she created her TruRenewal crap.
Ramona does look good. I got a kick out of her at the reunion saying she hasn’t had ‘work’ done. Injectables,(botox and fillers) laser treatments, dermabrasion, chemical peels, etc. do not count as work!
I think I like this view better ! Gillette: hilarious.
Perhaps it does work well for her but… now she has to do this for the rest of her life or she WILL also look like Cornelius.
Anyone who would claim that regular shaving doesn’t cause it to be worse, has never shaved around their hoo ha often enough. My grandmother never shaved and never had any hair she didn’t want. Her legs were as smooth as a baby’s bottom. In my mid thirties, I finally took her advice and stopped shaving my legs. Yes, it takes a long time, but all I have left is a few sparse stragglers one could pluck with a tweezer.
I suspect that if Caroline stopped, in a couple months she could get a job in the sideshow.
Caroline already looks like Cornelius. Just sayin….
As ppl age, the hair stops growing-I really don’t think it has nothing to do with the shaving. However shaving does make it feel course because the hair is cut off at an angle.
The hair stops growing in NORMAL places. I’ve seen women start sprouting random hair in strange areas!!
You seen old men? It grows in the ears and the nose ffs.
I’m sure it will be a major topic in her new “advice” column. I’ll pass, thank you.
You totally nailed them. I’m sure my neighbor thinks I’m a lunatic. Actually howled with laughter. Way more entertaining than watching the dreck of their reality. Such great humorists on a lot of the hw blogs. You’re definately number one on my list. Really Old HW of Manatee jas some good stuff up too. Thanks for all the high quality belly laughs! After a challenging day, you’re a perfect anecdote. Kadooze to you!
You are brilliant, I was laughing so hard. I really could see this play out like this. Thanks for the laugh. OMGosh Teresa’s big head in the window. Priceless.
Yes, the Really Old Housewife of Manatee County is a hoot. Beyond the Ho’wives she writes about her neighbors and other subjects. Her battle with Danielle the prostitute whore duck, for example. And she takes some great pics too.
This was in reply to Fizzyz above.
I think you’ve got Jac’s parenting down pat, there is something really passive aggressive to her remarks to Ashley sometimes. The real story behind that is probably really, really sad.
What is the age difference between Jac and Ash? 12-13 years? Jac treats her more like an annoying younger sibling than a child of her loins!
I read somewhere that Jac was Ash’s age when she had her….19?
Yeah I heard that too. Like 18 or 19.
I also think Jac treats her like a kid sister, not a daughter.
Am I alone in thinking Jac looks like she’s 28? Sometimes she looks older than that, but over all I think her and Ramona are the two that look the best for their ages.
The age difference is no excuse for bad parenting. My mom was 19 when she had me &, while I have always had a great relationship with her, I would have no teeth in my mouth if I even thought of behaving the way Ashley has.
nathania, I think there is some deep resenment toward Ashley. Can you imagine how her life in Vegas changed after she gave birth?
I don’t know much about Jac and Vegas…I did note that Jac had the sudden change of heart toward Danielle on the reunion right after Danielle called her a ‘Vegas whore’. That could very well be true on some levels, the whole ‘you ruined my life’ thing. And there have been curious things that happened on there, like Jac comparing Ashley to the grandmother who is apparently overweight, and Ashley has body image problems already that caused the ‘get out of my house’ segment. It seems like it might be the well-disguised mom who pretends to mean well but really competes with her daughter and undercuts her at every turn. What is amazing to me is that I haven’t seen much evidence of that with Danielle/Christine, which is where I would expect to find it. Hey, I just realized that the Christine modeling thing explains the whole Kelly and Danielle propping each other up in the press thing, because it was Gilles Bensimon (sp?) who photographed Christine in that segment when she first starts modeling…I guess Danielle knows which side her bread is buttered on.
I couldn’t bring myself to try the shaving thing…I would be fearful that I would end up with stubble and have to shave everyday and end up hating myself for the rest of my life for being curious and being a moron and doing it “just once”
Yeah, sort of like heroin?
This is the funniest blog on RHONJ I’ve read!!!! BWAHAHAHA love the Danielle spooge recap.
Pingback: The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 2 Is Over – And I Did A … | Daily Reality Dose
Pingback: The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 2 Is Over – And I Did A … | Daily Reality Dose
Back to Jill Zarin and her recent college lecture @ ULS…
“Because the event was paid for in advanced by student-paid Activity and Service fees, ULS swiped university ID cards to permit students into the lecture for free. ULS program director Nicole Kummer said satisfaction surveys that provide ULS with feedback about the lectures were unavailable for Zarin’s appearance. However, they would be available for students at future lectures.”
Gee golly wiz, I wonder who made that demand? Or was it a mere oversight? (cough, sputter).
http://www.usforacle.com/news/zarin-offers-students-advice-during-lecture-1.2329860
She pulled in 100 people, about 400 less than expected…….wow. Then she talks BS about her behavior, yeah, it was all an act for the show Jill. Liar, liar, pants on fire!
And while we are at it, this interview of Danielle from Radaronline re: who will be welcomed on her new show –
“And Jill Zarin and Kelly Bensimon, they’ve reached out to me on several occasions with very, very, very kind hearts when I’ve been under fire and befriended me and they’ve also vindicated me in situations knowing that [there] were lies going on because the other women on my cast had gone to them… they were my favorites because they just kept it real and a lot of people aren’t real and don’t tell the truth.”
Let’s recap. This summer Zarin spent a good amount of time with Caroline and Teresa. This may not play well, but to be the fly on that wall when those two discuss it. lol.
Meanwhile, Kelly would fit right in considering they’re both wackadoos.
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/09/exclusive-interview-danielle-staub-bars-former-nj-castmates-her-spinoff-show
How delusional can one woman get? Danielle, there is no WealthTV network and you don’t have a show. Move on, get a job, go away. (Take Teresa, Caroline, Jill, and Kelly with you)
Haha. When I first read the interview I figured I had just never heard of WealthTV or we didn’t get it in my area.
This cover of In-Touch has Teresa and her daughters. http://www.intouchweekly.com/content/cover/img_cover_large.jpg
It talks about moving out – but the on-line article doesn’t say anything about it – http://www.intouchweekly.com/content/cover/img_cover_large.jpg
Dammit – I linked that picture twice.
Here’s the article – http://www.intouchweekly.com/2010/09/teresas_marriage_crisis_my_kid.php
That’s it? A full cover and that’s all? Bummer. I may have to go get my hair cut just so I can read the complete article, lol.
nah I’ll wait for someone to tell me about it online
Maybe Rob will post it on his blog soon.
http://coverawards.com/2010/09/15/teresa-giudice-would-rather-be-alone-then-with-a-cheater/
This ones synopsis state this: http://coverawards.com/2010/09/15/teresa-giudice-would-rather-be-alone-then-with-a-cheater/
“Teresa Giuduce opens up to InTouch about how her husband Joe’s infidelity has caused her to move out. Strapped with four daughters, Teresa says she’d rather be alone then living with a cheater.”
Found another one. I don’t know what up with the spam filter. I can’t control it.
There is a setting for how many links you can have. I thought the default was three?
How can I find this setting? Because I checked settings > discussion and I didn’t see anything there in regards to links being posted.
It’s the last thing under discussion –
Hold a comment in the queue if it contains “3” or more links.
Omg was I blind? Lol. I fixed it. It was at 2, I made it unlimited. So you should be able to post links now.
Okay…I said it before and I’ll say it again. Based on Teresa’s reaction to Danielle’s comment about the ‘nephew’, there has to be more to it than her brother’s son. Danielle made the comment and then looked at the other women like ‘you know…’ And Teresa’s earlier talking head about Joe not needing a son. I bet he does have a son out there. When the truth comes out I’m gonna be all “I told you soooo!!!”
I just realized the title “My Kids Saved Me,” is just a tad close to Betheny’s People cover, “My Baby Saved My Life?”
T just can’t help it the copycat routine it seems, or the editor has a great sense of humor. Either way, it was not lost on me. 😀
good catch Squirrels!! Tree has always been jealous of Bethenny and her success.
Yep. It also reminds of the DWTS story – made up crap to get publicity. I love the added touch of the haters should get a life (not a quote). She’s consistent in BS.
I haven’t seen the story of course. But FWIW Jenn Sale tweeted this:
“Much ado about nothing with Teresa, people…she needs sympathy, and they need to sell magazines…the headline is deceiving. Carry on.”
Seems Rob from popeater feels the same way. He didn’t learn anything new.
Found your comment in the spam folder. Sometimes when you put links in your posts they go to spam.
Glad you found me in the spam folder. It was dark in there and no one offered me water 😉
I can’t get over how dumb she looks in all her photos. It’s like she practiced in a mirror how to look as dumb as possible while fake smiling.
This is simply classic. I WILL CLAP! In fact, I am clapping right now! Beautiful, Well done, You are now my hero!
Is anyone elese here old enough to remember the Popeye cartoon on tv?
If you are, then you probably remember the character Alice the Goon. She wore a flower pot attached to her head and every time I see a picture of one of those little girls from NJ, it reminds me of her. The verbalizations that Alice made sounds like them, as well.
Yup, exactly. That’s what I was thinking….T’s puts everything but the flower pots on their heads.
And in this recent mag pic, again there’s that little baby with a honkin’ huge flower on her forehead. Even the baby’s laughing at it. 😉
Moving on the Salamis
http://bit.ly/9qszga
This one’s a stinger!
http://www.radaronline.com/photos/image/61791/2010/05/kelly-bensimon-celebrates-her-42nd-birthday-pool
I don’t know when this is from, but is this the most ill-fitting suit you’ve ever seen? It is WAY too short in the torso, and that body, omg I can’t believe she was a model. What an idiot. And again, alone, posing for pics, what a great b-day celebration!
Oh that is not flattering on her at all! Ew!!
She’s built like a mack truck. No shape whatsoever.
EWW MY EYES!!!!!!!!
I got an attack on my computer when I clicked on this link. 😦 Must have been one ugly suit if my computer doesn’t even want to look at it.
It was a bathing suit. I don’t blame your computer for rejecting it.
That must be it! Seriously though, my Norton is going apeshit everytime I click on that link.
Have you guys seen this?
http://www.popeater.com/2010/09/15/michaele-salahi-multiple-sclerosis/
For some reason I just don’t believe this at all.
The fact that Diane Diamond is involved with this “book” makes everything in it even more suspect.
Didn’t Dimond break the Michael Jackson molestation story?
I am skeptical too. I read an article on aol earlier today and think she tried to use this illness to explain her behavor including clashing the dinner at the White House.
I heard this on the news this AM, and I was skeptical b/c of the history of deceit these people have. Then I saw it on Reality Tea and people are calling BS all over the place. My first thought too was that if someone has MS, would they be prancing around in spike heels, hmmmm………………….
If this isn’t true, this is a very deplorable thing to do.
I am skeptical ONLY because of who is saying it, and illness is a great grift, and these two are clearly grifters. I had an ex claim to have stage 4 ovarian cancer and 14 years later she is alive and well and has had ‘cancer’ at least two or three more times. Since that experience I am probably overly cynical about things like this.
HuffPo has pic from the mag article of Juicy and T from 1984: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/15/teresa-joe-giudice-in-198_n_718327.html
That was disturbing
That is a hot a$$ mess!
If he were wearing red overalls, I would have mistaken him for Mario. Where is luigi?
Joe looks like a porn star from the 70s.
Reality Tea claims teresa is 12 yrs old in that pic.
Real House
I enjoyed my visit !
I need to change my under ware I laughed so much.
U could write a comic book.
I have an Archie collection from the 60s’ that I would consider trading if u did !
Go Girl !
See u back on Lynn’s place.
Thanks for stopping by.
Glad you like it! 🙂
See you over at Lynn’s.
Okay RCH, when is the next recap? I need my fix. Now that I have tasted the good stuff, the crap produced by Bravo will not suffice.
I figured I’ll do one a week on Mondays. Sorta like a morphine drip… slow and steady. Wouldn’t want anyone to over dose.
Salahis claim Obama’s personally invited them to the White House state dinner.
Yeah, right….
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/09/exclusive-salahis-said-president-obama-personally-invited-them-white-house-says
OMG!!! Too funny!! I hope all the HWs from NJ have creeped by here to read this one. I lmao!
That was hilarious cuz it’s basically is how they all act and shit!!!!!