Jersey Shore Season Two – Pots Call Kettles Black And People In Glass Houses Throw Stones

Ok, so here’s the thing: I don’t really watch Jersey Shore. I saw a bit of season one, and this episode (8) is the first episode I’ve seen of season two. Most of what I know about the Jersey Shore kids comes from TMZ. But after The Real Housewives of New Jersey ended I was suffering some serious withdraw and I needed to do something to get my Jersey fix. It was either this or Jerseylicious, and Jersey Shore won in my twitter poll. The Jersey Shore girls are basically a younger, classier version of Teresa, Dina, Jacqueline and Danielle. I didn’t include Caroline because I assume she’s probably always acted like a stuffy old tight ass. So anyway here is my recap starting in the middle of the season.

The show starts out with some clips from last week. Angelina has a boyfriend who buys her amazing things like Fossil watches but she slept with Vinnie even though she apparently hates him. Why is Angelina even on this show? Didn’t she leave in the beginning of season one? And why are they in Miami? I thought this was Jersey Shore. So basically it’s a show about a bunch of kids from New York partying in Miami… but it’s called Jersey Shore? Ok. Whatever. It’s a reality show, why would I expect any of it to make any sense?

So anyway, it’s the morning after Angelina’s night with Vinnie. Her actions reinforced the guys belief that when you are nice to a girl it gets you nowhere and you have to treat them like shit if you want to get laid. Angelina is a total whore but she doesn’t care. I don’t care either. I like her because in season one she said “I’m a bartender, I like, do great things”. Lol. I would love to borrow those rose colored glasses for a day. The rest of the cast are not fans.

Snookie and J Wow go out to lunch. J Wow practices her blow job techniques while Snookie explains why hooking up with Vinnie makes Angelina a whore, but not her.  They come to the conclusion that Angelina only slept with Vinnie to hurt Snookie and it’s her own loss because she got sloppy seconds.

Vinnie’s mom and some other family members came to visit and she brought a whole suit case filled with food. Coming into this house you’d think she would have brought a suitcase filled with condoms, Valtrex and disinfectant. Didn’t she watch season one?

She even brought water bottles just in case they didn’t sell water in Miami.

Uncle Nino says that a cane is like a woman. You can borrow it, but you gotta bring it back. Words of wisdom for the younger generation to remember.

Is this a bikini or underwear?

The all go out to a night club and Vinnie meets a girl.

Situation steals the girl.

Vinnie is sad.

Situation brings the girl back to the house, get her in his bed, gets her undressed…

then re-dressed in his clothes…

Then dry humps her from behind while she is wearing mens clothing.

He is confused when she get up and walks out.

It’s only 6am and the night is still young so Pauly calls another girl to come over. There is no girl for Situation, but he doesn’t care. He’s more than happy to eat his egg sandwich and watch Pauly get it on.

Not gay at all Mike. Not gay at all…

The Situation rats out Angelina to her sugar daddy for being a whore.

She comes clean and admits that she hooked up with Vinnie. The guy thinks hooking up means kissing. Angelina thinks hooking up means having sex. She is more than happy about the misunderstanding.

The next night they all go out to another club. Vinnie spots a girl dancing on a speaker in her underwear and immediately falls in love. He says that this is the kind of girl he would bring home to his mother.

Vinnie ignores the 3 day rule and calls the girl the next day for a date. She agrees. Vinnie is happy and does some break dance moves to celebrate.

But she calls back later and cancels. Vinnie freaks out and slams the phone down on her.

Then he goes and sulks in the corner.Who wants to bet that when he’s 40 he’s still single and living with his mommy?

Pauly knows how to talk to the ladies.

Vinnie finally composes himself and calls the girl back and apologizes for hanging up on her. Then he begs her to go out with him. And begs. And begs. He won’t take no for an answer so she finally agrees just to get him to shut up.

As soon as she gets off the phone she calls her girlfriend to tell her about the weird stalker she met at the club. She whines for a bit about how she only attracts the crazy ones and then they laugh about what he’s gonna do when he realizes that she isn’t showing up for their date.
Vinnie is heart broken. She was the girl of his dreams. He already had the ring picked out and everything.

Vinnie should call Kim G. She knows what rejection feels like.

The End.

Next week the gang tries to solve the mystery of who left the dirty period pad on the bathroom floor.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Jersey Shore, Non Housewife Related Posts, Recaps, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

56 Responses to Jersey Shore Season Two – Pots Call Kettles Black And People In Glass Houses Throw Stones

  1. bohochickn says:

    Bless your heart! You recapped this Thursday’s show….LOL. Episode 7 showed on 9-10-10….I believe you when you say you don’t watch the show! ha!

  2. oopsy says:

    I haven’t watched this show at all; thanks to your recap RCH, I can avoid the show and still be in the loop. When I was that age I would have DIED if people saw me acting so stupidly. I am SO looking forward to the day when these idiots are running things.

    • I wonder if these people ever think about the future? Like, what decent guy is ever going to marry Angelina after watching this show?

      • sangfroid says:

        Maybe Danielle Staub could make a guest appearance and offer dating advice. She married well once. Well, he had money.

      • Danielle can give advice on how to marry a rich guy – not a decent guy.
        I think these girls are really going to regret this one day, especially once they have children and these shows are available online for the rest of their lives.

      • oopsy says:

        Nope. The future is an abstract idea to them, like Father Time or world peace. And I don’t think they care anyway. They are gonna look back on this when they are old and think,”look at how hot I was!! Good times. Good times! See ‘Snookette’, Gramma was rocking it!” And we don’t have water here in Florida so it’s a good thing she brought some. Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink. My husband was on a flight once and the women next to him started digging in her purse and said, “can you hold this?” She pulled out 5 packages of BallPark franks and handed them to him. He wondered if they didn’t sell hot dogs in Texas!

        • sangfroid says:

          Good Heavens that reminds me, re Gramma was rocking it. I know someone like that, she brags to her children about winning a wet t-shirt contest in a bar and being the hottest girl in town. She is in her late 50’s now.
          She calls it being honest with her kids. I call it giving them permission. Needless to say, I avoid her.

          • oopsy says:

            sangfroid, my children think I sprang from the earth fully mature. I NEVER did anything like that! 😉

            • oopsy says:

              And what’s with all this ‘being honest’ with kids? They really don’t wanna know this crap! Yes there is a Santa Clause and the tooth fairy leaves the money. We were honest with our kids without sharing stuff they don’t want to know about us. Our kids knew they could talk to us about anything (The family discussion after my 6 year old saw elephants mating is one I’ll always remember!) but they knew something can be discrete and private without being shameful.

  3. tuzentswurth says:

    I don’t watch this show but loved the recap. I WILL watch in the future…..recaps that is, not the actual show. LMAO. What a mentality, really, just think what future RHNJ will be when these “kids” grow up. Gosh their moms must be proud. Gotte go, my 30 yr old son is on vacation and I have to take him a suitcase full of water….and whore repellant.

  4. momsthoughts says:

    I saw this episode tonight! before the VMA’s. Anyway…the show is soooo much more disgusting than the recap. I agree – when I was this age – I would be mortified if ever discovered in such a situation – as would anyone I knew….THEY WOULDN”T DO IT ON TV! Good Lord. And the Mother coming with water – OMG. My parents would have disowned me by this point. And not for nothing…my kids tell me The Situation is 29 years old. (supposedly he lives in my town now – my kids see him all the time at the mall, etc…) REALLY? Living like this at 29? I thought ppl stopped living like this after college? really really gross ppl.

    • 29? Oh that makes the whole thing much worse. I thought they were all 21/22.

    • oopsy says:

      Who the hell calls themselves The Situation? Loser. 29? Really? Well now we know how they will react to this when they grow up.

      • Well Kim G is 80 and calls herself The Instigation.

        • oopsy says:

          See, I did not know that. I didn’t watch this season I spent my free time reading blogs.

          • She recently named herself that on twitter.

            @KimGranatell: Hey Situation, the Instigation wants to have a POW WOW with you. Come On!! I also do GTL, but mine is Gym, Terrorizing, & Laundry!!! Yes!!!

            • oopsy says:

              oh dear lord. Can’t someone just put her in a home somewhere? Are there home for the elderly with stripper poles?

              • Need a Hobby says:

                Kim G is maybe a year or so older than Ramona? IIRC. Around mid 50’s.

                • I’ve wondered about Kim’s age. If she is only a few years older than Ramona then I want to know what it is that makes her seem soooo old so that I can be sure not to make the same mistakes in the future.
                  If you look at just her face, she doesn’t even have that many wrinkles. I think her hair is the main problem. She has that really thin wispy grandma hair. I think if she had a full head of long thick darker colored hair she wouldn’t look so old – as long as she doesn’t attempt to jog or work a stripper pole.

                • oopsy says:

                  I think partly it is the fact that her hair doesn’t move…like a yellow shellacked helmet, and she moves old, a little slouchy with no grace. If she was a little more loose limbed (and not just loose!) then I think she would look more graceful and even younger. Raquel (sp?) Welch once did a demonstration of someone getting out of a chair all stiff and grunting and then did it smoothly as an example of how the way you move can make you look old. It was true…when she grunted and pushed up all slouchy she seemed like she was 30 yrs older. I never forgot that.

                • Squirrels says:

                  If she were still friends w/danielle she could borrow extensions : )

                • sangfroid says:

                  Sorry to say, Kim G was listed as one of the top 15 female runners in the Wyckoff 5K on Sept 23rd 2000. If she listed her age correctly on the entry form (40 )then she is 50 now.
                  Her son John ran as well, 11 at the time, so 21 now. And he must be aware of her current notoriety. Sad.

                • There is no way Kim G is younger than Ramona. That just blows my mind.

                • oopsy says:

                  RCH, I agree!

                • oopsy says:

                  is that Wyckoff 5k a big event? ‘Cause I could be listed as the #1 runner if my competition is the old lady next door who breathes like her pugs and my neighbor who never leaves her porch.

        • Need a Hobby says:

          FWIW, some of those online people finder sites, etc, list a Kim Granatell in Franklin Lakes, NJ at 54/55 yrs old.

          A couple interviews I read said she had a daughter in high school.

          Now you youngins excuse me while I go get my walker and my teeth.

          8)

          • tuzentswurth says:

            Even for 55 Kim G must not have good genetics. That accounts for a lot.

          • sangfroid says:

            From her twitter bio

            * Name Kim Granatell
            * Location Franklin Lakes, NJ
            * Bio Mother to John, Ryan, & Gia, the loves of my life. Lover of travel, fast cars, diamonds & fashion. Life is not a dress rehearsal, so go for it!!!!

      • Need a Hobby says:

        Answer: a guy who now can make millions because of his appearance on this show, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

        http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3i0aa95b30b2cefc020fe37ded26061f7c

        Now he may just be having his 15 minutes & may, like others before him, eventually wind up in “celeb” rehab and/or bankruptcy court. If he (or his people) are at all smart he builds it into something more lasting and is set.

    • nathania says:

      If anyone ever wondered what kind of behavior Caroline Manzo DOES approve of…this would be it.

  5. bravofanfromday1 says:

    Love it! I was so disgusted with myself for forgetting to Tivo Jersey Shore last night. For a new viewer you did fantastic capturing the feel of the show.

    It would appear you lucked out in a MAJOR way by missing all the Sami/Ronnie drama. She is like nails on a chalkboard only worse. The Situation eating the egg sandwich photocap is about the funniest thing I have seen all morning.

  6. sangfroid says:

    I have heard of, but never watched this show. Thank goodness for your recap, as now I never will watch this catastrophe. Talk about taking one for the team Real City Housewife. I feel sullied just by reading this, I can’t imagine what you went through watching it. Are there really people like this or are these actors from the Jerry Springer School of Emoting?

    • It wasn’t that bad actually. Kinda entertaining. But it’s easier to recap fake pretentious bitches who are trying to be something they’re not. It’s hard to make fun of people who make fun of themselves. The kid’s interviews throughout the episode is like a funny recap in itself.

      • sangfroid says:

        Oh now you are tempting me.
        I suppose I could give it a shot peeking through my fingers with a pillow close by to cover my ears if need be.

        • tuzentswurth says:

          I’m almost tempted. When I look at those steroid pumped young men though I can’t help but think how they must have really shriveled little testicles. Yuck, not attractive.

    • Sardonica says:

      haha…one for the team.

  7. oopsy says:

    sangfroid, I know what you mean. I think I just got sucked in too. Now I gotta know what is going on.

  8. Need a Hobby says:

    Is this show accompanied by public service announcements from the Center for Disease Control? If not, it should be.

    • sangfroid says:

      Yes, Oopsy and I are filling our prescriptions for whore repellent in preparation for the next episode.

      • oopsy says:

        I got 6 refills

        • tuzentswurth says:

          I hear that you can get it OTC in Canada???

          • oopsy says:

            Yes, tuzentswurth, but it is hard to find in stock there due to Canada’s proximity to Jersey. Appearently in the north Whore-Repellant has a street value comparable to Oxycontin and Ritalin. The market is women but I think they are secretly providing it to their sons. It is CHEAPER in Canada, like most meds but your best bet is to purchase it in the south. (Not that the south doesn’t have whores…repellant isn’t in such high demand because of the abundance of shotguns!)

  9. Amber...Real Wife says:

    It’s great that you’ve decided to get down with the Joisey crowd! Having withdrawals from the ladies of New Jersey, (what lady? where?!), has dragged you into the fun, airy and sleazy side of the Jersey Shore! It sounds as if you’ve been watching longer, BUTTTT, I’ll let that slide. 🙂

    When MTV put this crew together, it was instant gold. I haven’t laughed as hard at a “reality” show, as i’ve laughed with these Guidos and Guidettes! My favorites are Snooki and Mike, with Pauly and JWOWW bringing up the rear. The others are dispensable, but it seems that Vinny is making a splash by being the DonJuanaseeyou, this season. Sammi & Vinni are the Joe & Tree of the crowd with their car wreck romance, and Angelina is just a whore-ribble skank that needs to be voted off the island.

    For any of the posters that know they are smarter for NOT watching this show, I say “F Uggedaboutit”. Television isn’t supposed to make me smarter, it is supposed to entertain me. As my brain cells fry with each episode, LOL, I relish one thought… I know there will be no baby boomers dissertations of Jersey Shore on the blogs tonight! THANK GOD! Those who want to give it a try can check out full episodes on MTV. If you feel you dumpster dived enough at BRAVO, then DON’T do it! Your retinas will be scarred and your ear drums will be shattered. Save yourself! Me…I’ll take Sitch, Pauly, JWOWW and Snooki over Kat, Mary, Lynda and Ebong any day!

    I’ll watch Jersey Shore first, and RHODC on the rerun.

    • Amber...Real Wife says:

      OOPS.

      I meant Sammi and RONNIE are the Joe and Tree of the crowd. As if anyone cares!

    • I really haven’t seen any of this season. I just see the previews and TMZ is always talking about them. Last I saw in season one Sammi and Ronnie were a happy couple. They weren’t really in this episode. I hope they fight in the next episode. That’s a horrible thing to say, I know. But it will be good for the recap. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m selfish. Lol

  10. Sardonica says:

    I tried to watch 1st episode of RHDC but it took me over a week of to watch it. I thought I could build up some sort of immunity and proceed with the rest of the season but my experiment didn’t work. I gave up. I tried to watch Jersey Shore but after 1st week I had only made it 1/2 way through. I am depending on this blog to keep me informed and entertained so I can be in the loop of all things worthless…I mean vital to my very being. I love my vapid, insipid electronic brain candy!!!. You make it very funny. Also my twin, Sarcastica asked me to send this letter to you. The home won’t allow her to use stamps since she keeps sticking them to her lower back and telling everyone they are tattoos…
    Dear RCH,
    Much like Kim G I am an elderly lady, strike that, much like Kim G I am elderly. Mid 50s. May I be so bold as to ask you young ‘uns wtf…umm I mean what the heck…is this tweep thing? Here at the ‘home for the incredibly aged and clueless’ when they don’t allow us to play naked Bingo ( I tell you, crumbs can get in the strangest places ) or watch RH I have started to play with this new fangled Twit thing. I blame you and this blog. In fact I have a lawsuit in the works for this claiming injury to my delicate psycho…strike that…psyche due to your blog and the laughter that ensues when there is a new post. Sardonica told me to tell you she is sorry she wasn’t here over the weekend but the husband made her spend time with him and seemed to not care that she was in RH blog withdrawal. She is thinking either divorce or signing him up for some online dating /sex site to get him out of her hair more often allowing us time to keep up with the latest on this site. Pray tell…what think ye?…signed, Really Old Sarcastica in need of a stripper pole( geeee…whats with dat Kim G even my panties don’t sag and I don’t have fat sucked out and skin nipped and tucked and stapled and glued and origamied and stuff )
    P.S. Sardonica told me to tell you she is much younger than me. Seeing that we were con-joined twins it was a really tough delivery for Mom.

    • sangfroid says:

      Poor mom, it must have been a long delivery what with the age difference and all and unless there has been some surgery, tough on poor dear Sardonica’s hubby. Dare I ask, do you eat egg sandwiches?

    • oopsy says:

      NOW I know why tattoos on the lower back are called Tramp Stamps!! See, you really CAN learn something new every day!!

  11. ImaJillHater2 says:

    LOVED the re-cap & all the comments. You ladies are all so entertaining!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s