The Real Housewives of DC – Car Thieves and Health Care

The show picks up where we left off two weeks ago in the middle of the drunken conversation between Tareq and Mary. Watching Tareq accuse Mary’s daughter of theft is not entertaining. I remember this story from when it was in the news. If you didn’t see the article, it basically said that some of Lolly’s facebook friends had stolen the car. I already know Lolly was never charged so this story line is not dramatic or interesting.

Mary accuses Tareq of being an angry drunk. Takes one to know one I guess.

I should probably comment about how inappropriate it was of Tareq to bring up such a sensitive subject at his dinner party, but I’m taking too much pleasure in watching Mary cry to care.

Mary’s had enough of the accusations and storms out, but only after topping off her wine glass first.

The scary moon from the reunion!

Lynda, Cat, and Stacie go to the salon and talk about Michaele. Anyone else having Jersey deja vu? Remember a couple blogs ago when I called the DC women recycled? Well this is how I see it: Michaele is Danielle, the outsider that everyone decided to hate before they even met her. Lynda is Caroline; the older woman who doesn’t want to be directly involved in the drama but loves to hear all the dirt. Cat is Teresa; the loud mouth bitch. Stacie is Jacqueline; the nice one who gives everyone a chance. And Mary is Dina; the bitch who pretends to be sweet and innocent but really isn’t. Been there done that Bravo. When does Beverly Hills start?

Lynda is creepy.

Note: Mary does not seem outraged that Tareq made accusations against her daughter. Neither does Lynda in her talking head. The only thing that seems to be bothering anyone is that Tareq brought it up at a dinner party. It appears to me as though Mary is less concerned about her daughter being falsely accused of a crime and more concerned that her daughter may have actually done it.

Mary tries to tell Lolly about Tareq’s accusations, but she was totally hammered that night and all she can remember is “FBI, you, a car, and polo gear”. She admits that it was very confusing.

Mary tells the camera that she believes her daughter… but she is going to check with the police department just to make sure. Mary doesn’t trust her daughter for a second. Lolly was probably one of those rich kids who stole stuff from their friends just for the sake of stealing. I bet Mary has been finding other people’s belongings in her daughter’s room for years. She is well aware of the sticky fingers on that one. Isn’t she the reason Mary has such high security on her closet?

Mary’s husband says that how he handles Tareq will depend on how drunk he is. If Bravo is smart they will keep this family well supplied with good wine for the duration of filming.

The Amons make cheese plates with no jelly beans! I had to tell Kelly.

@Kikilet I’m watching #RHODC. The Amons make cheese plates with NO jelly beans. What do you think about this?

No response. 😦

Mary finally admits that Lolly did post something on her facebook, but that it wasn’t incriminating. She raised her daughter better than the Giudice’s. Lolly knows that after you steal you don’t go bragging about it on the internet or tv shows.

Mary’s husband says that he made calls to the FBI but couldn’t find out any information so Lolly must be innocent. First, I love how he says “he made some calls” as though he has some inside connections. You know he dialed 411 to get the number and then spoke to the receptionist at the front desk. Second, if there was an open investigation, they aren’t going to tell the suspects parents about it.

Why is Mary looking at her yearbook during this conversation?

The Kelly/Michaele comparison of this week’s episode is: although Michaele doesn’t have a job, she employs a personal assistant who doubles as her only friend.
I still don’t hate her yet, but if she starts posting twit pics and youtube videos that will be the last straw.

Lynda is moving from DC to Virginia. She says that she’s heard many great things about Stacie’s real estate background. But she doesn’t want to hire her as her real estate agent, she just wants to get some free advice from her while giving the commission on her new home to someone else.

Stacie has a real problem with Lynda moving out of DC.  She seems to be taking it personally.

Cat, not to be outdone by Caroline Manzo, decides to have her own clown dinner.

Cat really doesn’t care how uncomfortable she makes the people around her. She just hurls one sarcastic insult after the other. Edwina tires to distract Cat from her nasty comments with a cucumber sandwich, but crafty Cat will not be stopped. She wants to get under this womans skin and a cucumber sandwich is not going to stand in her way. Cat is trying so hard to get a reaction out of her but Edwina just smiles at her no matter what she says. The people in this town are too political and it’s not good for tv. I’d like to see Cat take her attitude over to Teresa’s house. Now that would be entertaining. Edwina finally gets to the point of why she invited Cat to lunch; she is having a Republican health care party and she wants Cat to come and bring the tv cameras with her. Cat agrees to go to the party, but makes it clear how terribly awful she finds republicans and how much she will despise everyone that will be there.

I don’t buy Lynda and Ebong as a couple. There are a lot of Housewives that I can  picture being with a younger man, but Lynda is not one of them. She just acts soooo old. I cannot accept that anyone under the age of 70 could possibly find her personality attractive. I’m not saying she pays for his time, but I’m just sayin…

Stacie is truly horrified by the fact that Lynda is going to move out of the city. She hasn’t stopped talking about it the entire episode. She takes the opportunity at the dinner to try to talk Lynda out of moving. I think Stacie needs to get a hobby.

Stacie tells everyone at the table about her new found Nigerian heritage and how her white racist German Nazi bitch of a birth mother haters her and wishes she had never been born. Even though she saved baby pictures of Stacie and pictures of Stacie’s father for the last 40-something years. Lynda tries to defend Stacie’s birth mom, saying that it’s not her fault, it society’s fault for not accepting interracial couples at the time Stacie was born.

Lynda knows all about how racism can affect people because she lived through it herself. She opens up and tell everyone at the table her heart wrenching tales of the extreme reverse racism she had to endure while growing up as a white woman in the south.
I’m doubting the validity of Lynda’s story considering that slavery was still legal at the time when she was growing up. Everyone else seemed sceptical too:

Lynda says that she’s color blind, because when you close your eyes a man is a man and you can’t tell what color he is. For a moment she was almost sweet and likeable, and then she said “except for the nappy little hair on his chest”. What?! Are white people even allowed to say that? I feel uncomfortable just writing this. Moving on…

I wonder what Mary keeps in her finger print locked closet. It surely can’t be clothes.

Lynda takes Ebong and her adult children and their boyfriend’s and girlfriend’s who all seem to live with her for some reason to see the new house she bought for them:

Stacie continues to disapprove of the suburbs.

For some reason the Bravo camera man felt it necessary to get a good shot of the dog pee on the wall.

The women start getting ready for Edwinas party. Mary isn’t going because it’s laundry day and she has nothing else to wear. Lynda refuses to be in the same room with the Salahi’s, and Michaele can’t be filmed at home because Tareq’s mother might pull a shot gun on the camera man, which leave us to watch Stacie and Cat getting ready.

Stacie has a tv in her closet. I wonder how much time she spends in her closet that she needs a tv in there.

Over to Cat’s house…

Thank you Bravo!! We finally got some subtitles for these mumbly Brits.

Cat’s daughters help her decide what she is going to wear to the party. Cat, being the classy lady that she is, wants to wear something that will shock and upset people.

I don’t know how it works over in England, but Cat really should have a talk with her daughters about the dangers of sticking their fingers into electrical outlets.

Lynda explains (once again) that the DC Etiquette Act of 1902, Article 53, Page 207 states that you can say what you want about people – as long as you don’t say it to their face. She seems to take some sort of odd pride in being fake and two faced.

The women all start arriving to the Health Care party. No one seems to be pissed about the fact that they were told this would be a party, and instead it’s just a 20 people standing around a drab windowless room with no music or entertainment.

Cat is a bitch with balls. And that’s the kind of quality I like in my Housewives. I don’t know what she thought she would accomplish with the Sarah Palin outfit, but it doesn’t appear that she got the reaction she was looking for. Then she saw Michaele getting all the attention in her pink dress and was immediately pissed that she didn’t go with her original idea of wearing bright crazy colors.

The guest of honor is shown being wheeled away on a gurney. Someone who (I guess) works for her came down to the party, and instead of telling everyone the truth that she had a medical emergency, he decides it’s a better idea to tell them all that she had something more important to do than show up for her own party.

Cat corners Michaele’s assistant and wants to know if she was the one who called her bitchy at the winery. I liked this girl when she stood up to Cat, but now she’s scared and back tracking. She keeps insisting that she said Cat’s comment was bitchy, not that Cat was being bitchy. Cat is the type that can dish it but can’t take it. She is standing there in her Sarah Palin costume acting legitimately offended that someone would call her a bitch.

Michaele asks Cat if she had a wig on earlier, Cat asks Michaele if she had a pink dress on. But Michaele is still wearing her dress. So that doesn’t really make sense. Watching Michaele and Cat have a conversation is like watching mellow “jelly bean” Kelly have a conversation with hyper “zip it” Kelly.

Cat seems to have a problem with everything Michaele does. First it was her dress and her inauthentic shoes, now it’s her manipulative double hand shakes.

The show ends with Cat mocking Michaele. Next week the women attend another lame social event that they try to pass off as a party and drink bottle after bottle of wine in an attempt to make their boring lives more tolerable.