The Real Housewives of DC – Car Thieves and Health Care

The show picks up where we left off two weeks ago in the middle of the drunken conversation between Tareq and Mary. Watching Tareq accuse Mary’s daughter of theft is not entertaining. I remember this story from when it was in the news. If you didn’t see the article, it basically said that some of Lolly’s facebook friends had stolen the car. I already know Lolly was never charged so this story line is not dramatic or interesting.

Mary accuses Tareq of being an angry drunk. Takes one to know one I guess.

I should probably comment about how inappropriate it was of Tareq to bring up such a sensitive subject at his dinner party, but I’m taking too much pleasure in watching Mary cry to care.

Mary’s had enough of the accusations and storms out, but only after topping off her wine glass first.

The scary moon from the reunion!

Lynda, Cat, and Stacie go to the salon and talk about Michaele. Anyone else having Jersey deja vu? Remember a couple blogs ago when I called the DC women recycled? Well this is how I see it: Michaele is Danielle, the outsider that everyone decided to hate before they even met her. Lynda is Caroline; the older woman who doesn’t want to be directly involved in the drama but loves to hear all the dirt. Cat is Teresa; the loud mouth bitch. Stacie is Jacqueline; the nice one who gives everyone a chance. And Mary is Dina; the bitch who pretends to be sweet and innocent but really isn’t. Been there done that Bravo. When does Beverly Hills start?

Lynda is creepy.

Note: Mary does not seem outraged that Tareq made accusations against her daughter. Neither does Lynda in her talking head. The only thing that seems to be bothering anyone is that Tareq brought it up at a dinner party. It appears to me as though Mary is less concerned about her daughter being falsely accused of a crime and more concerned that her daughter may have actually done it.

Mary tries to tell Lolly about Tareq’s accusations, but she was totally hammered that night and all she can remember is “FBI, you, a car, and polo gear”. She admits that it was very confusing.

Mary tells the camera that she believes her daughter… but she is going to check with the police department just to make sure. Mary doesn’t trust her daughter for a second. Lolly was probably one of those rich kids who stole stuff from their friends just for the sake of stealing. I bet Mary has been finding other people’s belongings in her daughter’s room for years. She is well aware of the sticky fingers on that one. Isn’t she the reason Mary has such high security on her closet?

Mary’s husband says that how he handles Tareq will depend on how drunk he is. If Bravo is smart they will keep this family well supplied with good wine for the duration of filming.

The Amons make cheese plates with no jelly beans! I had to tell Kelly.

@Kikilet I’m watching #RHODC. The Amons make cheese plates with NO jelly beans. What do you think about this?

No response. 😦

Mary finally admits that Lolly did post something on her facebook, but that it wasn’t incriminating. She raised her daughter better than the Giudice’s. Lolly knows that after you steal you don’t go bragging about it on the internet or tv shows.

Mary’s husband says that he made calls to the FBI but couldn’t find out any information so Lolly must be innocent. First, I love how he says “he made some calls” as though he has some inside connections. You know he dialed 411 to get the number and then spoke to the receptionist at the front desk. Second, if there was an open investigation, they aren’t going to tell the suspects parents about it.

Why is Mary looking at her yearbook during this conversation?

The Kelly/Michaele comparison of this week’s episode is: although Michaele doesn’t have a job, she employs a personal assistant who doubles as her only friend.
I still don’t hate her yet, but if she starts posting twit pics and youtube videos that will be the last straw.

Lynda is moving from DC to Virginia. She says that she’s heard many great things about Stacie’s real estate background. But she doesn’t want to hire her as her real estate agent, she just wants to get some free advice from her while giving the commission on her new home to someone else.

Stacie has a real problem with Lynda moving out of DC.  She seems to be taking it personally.

Cat, not to be outdone by Caroline Manzo, decides to have her own clown dinner.

Cat really doesn’t care how uncomfortable she makes the people around her. She just hurls one sarcastic insult after the other. Edwina tires to distract Cat from her nasty comments with a cucumber sandwich, but crafty Cat will not be stopped. She wants to get under this womans skin and a cucumber sandwich is not going to stand in her way. Cat is trying so hard to get a reaction out of her but Edwina just smiles at her no matter what she says. The people in this town are too political and it’s not good for tv. I’d like to see Cat take her attitude over to Teresa’s house. Now that would be entertaining. Edwina finally gets to the point of why she invited Cat to lunch; she is having a Republican health care party and she wants Cat to come and bring the tv cameras with her. Cat agrees to go to the party, but makes it clear how terribly awful she finds republicans and how much she will despise everyone that will be there.

I don’t buy Lynda and Ebong as a couple. There are a lot of Housewives that I can  picture being with a younger man, but Lynda is not one of them. She just acts soooo old. I cannot accept that anyone under the age of 70 could possibly find her personality attractive. I’m not saying she pays for his time, but I’m just sayin…

Stacie is truly horrified by the fact that Lynda is going to move out of the city. She hasn’t stopped talking about it the entire episode. She takes the opportunity at the dinner to try to talk Lynda out of moving. I think Stacie needs to get a hobby.

Stacie tells everyone at the table about her new found Nigerian heritage and how her white racist German Nazi bitch of a birth mother haters her and wishes she had never been born. Even though she saved baby pictures of Stacie and pictures of Stacie’s father for the last 40-something years. Lynda tries to defend Stacie’s birth mom, saying that it’s not her fault, it society’s fault for not accepting interracial couples at the time Stacie was born.

Lynda knows all about how racism can affect people because she lived through it herself. She opens up and tell everyone at the table her heart wrenching tales of the extreme reverse racism she had to endure while growing up as a white woman in the south.
I’m doubting the validity of Lynda’s story considering that slavery was still legal at the time when she was growing up. Everyone else seemed sceptical too:

Lynda says that she’s color blind, because when you close your eyes a man is a man and you can’t tell what color he is. For a moment she was almost sweet and likeable, and then she said “except for the nappy little hair on his chest”. What?! Are white people even allowed to say that? I feel uncomfortable just writing this. Moving on…

I wonder what Mary keeps in her finger print locked closet. It surely can’t be clothes.

Lynda takes Ebong and her adult children and their boyfriend’s and girlfriend’s who all seem to live with her for some reason to see the new house she bought for them:

Stacie continues to disapprove of the suburbs.

For some reason the Bravo camera man felt it necessary to get a good shot of the dog pee on the wall.

The women start getting ready for Edwinas party. Mary isn’t going because it’s laundry day and she has nothing else to wear. Lynda refuses to be in the same room with the Salahi’s, and Michaele can’t be filmed at home because Tareq’s mother might pull a shot gun on the camera man, which leave us to watch Stacie and Cat getting ready.

Stacie has a tv in her closet. I wonder how much time she spends in her closet that she needs a tv in there.

Over to Cat’s house…

Thank you Bravo!! We finally got some subtitles for these mumbly Brits.

Cat’s daughters help her decide what she is going to wear to the party. Cat, being the classy lady that she is, wants to wear something that will shock and upset people.

I don’t know how it works over in England, but Cat really should have a talk with her daughters about the dangers of sticking their fingers into electrical outlets.

Lynda explains (once again) that the DC Etiquette Act of 1902, Article 53, Page 207 states that you can say what you want about people – as long as you don’t say it to their face. She seems to take some sort of odd pride in being fake and two faced.

The women all start arriving to the Health Care party. No one seems to be pissed about the fact that they were told this would be a party, and instead it’s just a 20 people standing around a drab windowless room with no music or entertainment.

Cat is a bitch with balls. And that’s the kind of quality I like in my Housewives. I don’t know what she thought she would accomplish with the Sarah Palin outfit, but it doesn’t appear that she got the reaction she was looking for. Then she saw Michaele getting all the attention in her pink dress and was immediately pissed that she didn’t go with her original idea of wearing bright crazy colors.

The guest of honor is shown being wheeled away on a gurney. Someone who (I guess) works for her came down to the party, and instead of telling everyone the truth that she had a medical emergency, he decides it’s a better idea to tell them all that she had something more important to do than show up for her own party.

Cat corners Michaele’s assistant and wants to know if she was the one who called her bitchy at the winery. I liked this girl when she stood up to Cat, but now she’s scared and back tracking. She keeps insisting that she said Cat’s comment was bitchy, not that Cat was being bitchy. Cat is the type that can dish it but can’t take it. She is standing there in her Sarah Palin costume acting legitimately offended that someone would call her a bitch.

Michaele asks Cat if she had a wig on earlier, Cat asks Michaele if she had a pink dress on. But Michaele is still wearing her dress. So that doesn’t really make sense. Watching Michaele and Cat have a conversation is like watching mellow “jelly bean” Kelly have a conversation with hyper “zip it” Kelly.

Cat seems to have a problem with everything Michaele does. First it was her dress and her inauthentic shoes, now it’s her manipulative double hand shakes.

The show ends with Cat mocking Michaele. Next week the women attend another lame social event that they try to pass off as a party and drink bottle after bottle of wine in an attempt to make their boring lives more tolerable.

This entry was posted in Catherine Ommanney, Lynda Erkiletian, Mary Amons, Michaele Salahi, Real Housewives of DC, Recaps, Stacie Turner, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

113 Responses to The Real Housewives of DC – Car Thieves and Health Care

  1. Northeastgurl says:

    Personally, I think the men in the show (except for Salahi) are much more intwresting and REAL.

  2. momsthoughts says:

    I am never watching the show again. Its a huge waste of time. It has no entertainment value. None, nada, zip! I am just going to read your blog instead. THIS is entertaining. Its brilliant how you can spin straw into gold. Thank you – again.

    Do you think Lynda has Danielle eyebrows? They frighten me.

    So, Mary has a fingerprint lock on her closet for THOSE 2 dresses?

  3. Need a Hobby says:

    That DC show’s a snoozer, huh. I like the pug.

    momsthoughts: I’ve thought that Lynda looks like she could be Danielle’s long lost mother.

    • I like the pug too. He’s cute.
      Hey – Maybe Lynda is Danielle’s birth mother?!

      • momsthoughts says:

        I smell a spin off – and it was right here in front of us all along! YES! Lynda is Danielle’s birth mother and that will be Bravo’s new series! Do you think Danielle will embrace her or decide she comes with too much baggage and wants nothing to do with her….? Remember, Danielle had some pretty strict rules about what her birth mother can and can not be: not a drug addict (is botox a drug?) not an alcoholic, not homeless (will that shoe count as a home?), etc…

        • Remember how Lynda was defending Stacie’s birth mom? Well it’s clearly because she also gave a child up for adoption and knows how that feels.
          I think Danielle will accept Lynda because Lynda has money and Danielle needs a place to live. And as long as Danielle follows the DC rules of being totally fake at all times, Lynda will be more than happy to have her join the family. She’s seen the sex tape and she knows that Danielle will fit right in with her “modeling agency”.

        • dreemz says:

          That explains the move to the suburbs! Lynda needs more room to accomadate Danielle and her girls. Also, Lynda was giving us a hint about what’s to come when she expressed her concerns about “security”, Danny and leatherface must be coming to McLean too!! Maybe the Hell’s Angels are building a club house there as well!! I guess I don’t blame Mary, I’d probably have my house up for sale too.

      • tuzentswurth says:

        Yes but what is with that cameraman and the dog pee? B roll should be a bit more entertaining than that!

        • Need a Hobby says:

          Could be the camera making some editorial commentary on the proceedings. Or maybe it’s an expression of some artistic yearning for symbolic representation of a theme. Or maybe the camera folks and editors get bored and slip stuff in for a giggle.

          Remember how RHONY was the season of poo? If there was dog shit anywhere it wound up in the final cut.

          That reminds me….Free Ginger!

    • tuzentswurth says:

      That is brilliant momsthought!

      • tuzentswurth says:

        Sorry, I should have credited you, Need a Hobby for the breaking story. I can’t look at the pic of Lynda w/o seeing that is really looks possible that she is Danielle’s mother! hahaahaa Wouldn’t that be nuts?

        • momsthoughts says:

          yes, I just noticed the similarity with the eyebrows….”needs a hobby” brilliantly connected the dots and made this brilliant discovery about Lynda being Danielle’s birth mother!

          • Need a Hobby says:

            Well to be fair, as squirrels pointed out, all they likely share is bad “dental work” (tm Kathy Griffin). But it would make the show so much more interesting to speculate, no?

  4. momsthoughts says:

    I really think Stacy’s husband is the most genuine on this show – no doubt. Why can’t the women on any of the shows ever keep it real like he does?

  5. dreemz says:

    About Edwina’s mysterious ambulance ride? My guess is that she couldn’t bear the thought of appearing in front of Bravo’s cameras again. The first time she was filmed she was wearing the stupid hat at the goat rodeo, Michaele dumped her to run off and make out with some other guests. (in the “charity” polo episode) She really looked like she was crying as she turned and introduced herself to Cat…then just as abruptly bolted off after stammering something about how many important people she knew/worked for/whatever. So now we have her little get-together about healthcare…she obviously has stage fright, she can’t even make it through 5 minutes of a casual luncheon one on one with Cat…how is she going to make it through hosting her little shindig! She had to get out of that party AND FAST! I don’t think we’ll be seeing any more of Edwina on our screen. She couldn’t play with the Big Bravo Dogs & Cat.

    • Need a Hobby says:

      Yeah, FWIW I read she (the lobbyist) was supposed to be one of the HoWives, but dropped out. Apparently second thoughts won out. (Being on the Ho’wives’ goat rodeo not exactly a genius idea for her kind of business.)

    • momsthoughts says:

      I think she was mortified at how boring her party was and decided it needed a distraction ASAP…b4 ppl started talking about just how sucky a party it was….so she faked vertigo or whatever – stirred up some drama and the night was over before it began.

      • Snarkella says:

        I was thinking the same thing. Sucky party and Cat shows up as Sarah Palin. I figured she faked chest pains just so she wouldn’t have to be seen at that fiasco.

    • Jo Jo says:

      I like your take on Edwina’s exit. Perhaps the vertigo came on when she realized how far above her own shabby get-together she would prefer to be. Or it may have been a Botox mishap. At any rate, let’s hope her health coverage will shell out for the ambulance.

  6. Shari says:

    Stacie’s husband is my favorite, too.

    I love that pug, he looks just like Pasha, a friend of mines, dog.

  7. Squirrels says:

    Lynda doesn’t have Danielle’s eyebrows. In fact, it seems she doesn’t even have her own face. Of course, it doesn’t look like Danielle does either. C’est la vie. Money can’t buy you a doctor who will talk you out of overdoing chit.

    • Kat says:

      Stopped in to read the blog and poke Squirrels. POKE

      • tuzentswurth says:

        Kat, nice to see you. BTW, the cat is called Dolly. It just worked for her 🙂

        • Kat says:

          OMG… LOL You’re incognito? 8)
          I’d never have known. I hope you are feeling better.

        • Kat says:

          tuzentswurth, my apologies, I thought you were someone else. You may not see this post but if you do may I ask, you mentioned a cat Dolly… why?

          I had just commented on a blog today about a person’s new cat avatar. Coincidences. 8)

          • tuzentswurth says:

            Yeah, I was kind of confused but figured it would all work out. Some time ago, maybe on Lynn’s blog, I responded to you that I had just taken in a stray that looked so much like your avatar.. a beautiful dark calico though she has white on her belly and feet. I was having a heck of a time tagging a name to her. I got some great suggestions and heard some of the beautiful names people had for their cats, but FINALLY, Dolly worked for this lovely baby. So she joins Tinkerbell and Miss Prissy in a life of luxury and entitlement and is very happy for it! Thanks xoxo

            • Kat says:

              I remember now! Thanks for the reminder, and glad your kitty has a suiting & cute name. 🙂

            • Tam5115 says:

              I could have commented on that post too, but I don’t know if you saw it. I did comment to someone about how the name will come, and how all my cats were named. And a bit about my 17 year old Doof who passed away on his 17 th birthday August 24, 2009.

      • Squirrels says:

        Ouch! xoxo

  8. Jersey says:

    If Lynda’s bf doesn’t dump her after that uncomfortable dinner conversation then he is definetly a paid escort, also her comment about his nappy chest hair was better than the comment I was cringing I mean waiting for,…I’ll give you three guesses 🙂
    i’m waiting for the episode where Mary takes one too many Xanax with her wine and we see her hauled away on a stretcher and when Cat’s husband gets fired for having a completely inappropraite wife and if course for Michaele to eat something or even take a sip of water!

  9. SugarSnapPea says:

    I was hoping Kim G would end up being Danielle’s birth mother. Now that would be funny.

  10. MickeyMouth says:

    I didn’t watch the show. They bore me. That pic of Mary’s husband ^ made me laugh. I was thinking are there always 3 bottles of open wine on Mary’s counter. Then I read they were throwing a party (without jelly beans on the cheese platter, WTF).

    I like your snark!

  11. tuzentswurth says:

    RCH, you need a disclaimer at start telling people to be sure to empty their bladder b4 starting to read the recap. LMAO. My God those people get drunk on camera, don’t they, slurred speech and all? Mary leaving the dinner abruptly, but NOT leaving her glass behind was priceless.
    Lynda? Could be Danielle’s mother except D said her mom was 15 when she gave birth. Lynda’s probably 30 yrs older than D, but of course could have been lying back then and telling people she was 15 when she was 30. No way that woman is in her 50’s. Hot flashes? She’s not had hot flashes for 20 years at least!
    Michaele acts like she is 3. She’s a sad one too.
    Stacie and her husband, holding it together for now but they’ll crack………sooner or later they all do.
    One more thing, have I been living in the country too long? I never wear cocktail dresses around the house…………….
    I really enjoyed Cat calling BS on Edwina and Ed trying to remain gracious in front of the cameras. She was prob rushed to the hospital with a panic attack at the thought of facing Cat again, this time in front of 20 people.

    • I didn’t put the disclaimer because I didn’t think this one was as funny as NJ. I’m glad you thought it needed it though!
      Look at the picture of Mary’s wine. That glass is already filled to the max for a wine glass, and with the way she downs her drinks, if the glass is that full it means she hasn’t even taken a sip yet, which leads me to believe that the got up in a huff, filled her glass, then stormed off.
      I think Lynda wouldn’t look so old if she didn’t act so old. Ramona is older than most of the RH’s but in my mind she is way younger than Jill or LuAnn or Caroline because of her personality.
      Michaele does act like she’s 3. Lol. But I think there may be some real passive aggressiveness behind her sweet smiles. I’m waiting to see what happens with her down the road.

      • tuzentswurth says:

        I laughed HARD! The recap was hilarious, you truly did spin straw to gold as momsthought said. I say Lynda is in her late 60’s AT LEAST! Her skin gives her away.

        • tuzentswurth says:

          I remember you saying in a prior blog that Mary drinks wine like she’s throwing back shots…..hilarious and true. I hadn’t really watched a whole episode at that point.

    • oopsy says:

      Tuzentswurth What?! You don’t wear your cocktail dresses around the house? Please tell me you at least wear your pearls to vacuum. You do keep your heels out for when you wash dishes, don’t you? If not I think RCH should reconsider who she allows to post here. We must maintain some standards. (I am wearing my feather boa as I type) 🙂

      • tuzentswurth says:

        ok, I do wear heels, but not real pearls, just “costume jewely” (IRS may be monitoring site ;). The costume jewelry is blingy, just white sapphires though, not diamonds, and I wear a hat adorned with feathers from my chickens. However, not with cocktail dresses, usually t-shirts and jeans. I look a-mazing and authentic! I know because all heads turn when I go out. I am a trend-setter, style maker, and taste-maker. You are just like Cat, always calling people out. Got me!

      • I like to wear long shirts with no pants and call it a dress. Sometimes I tie a belt around my waist because I’m so thrifty. And for jewelry I like to wear feathers. Feathers are the new diamonds. I also like to wear plastic beaded bracelets made by my energist. I always make sure to have my hair and makeup people fix me up before standing around my kitchen to drink tea and gossip. But I don’t vacuum or wash dishes, that’s what parents are for!

        • oopsy says:

          Aaaah! my people! NOW I feel at home! It’s like totally awsome that we’re like so original and authentic and we can just be ourselves which is like smokin’ hot and I love love love how amaaaaazing we all are. But stop bullying me! It’s not ok! Two against one is NEVER ok!

          • tuzentswurth says:

            I’m looking for a new personal assistant. I had to fire the last one b/c my tiara wasn’t polished properly. Anybody have any recommendations? I need someone who can walk a little behind me with their nose up my butt, be my best friend and listen to me go on and on ad nauseum about irrelevant tripe, and make phone calls to relay info that I just I said but I’m too lazy I mean too busy ( or is it too important?) to dial the phone myself. Oh, and they should be able to give me a pedicure while I read this blog. MUST have a working knowledge of false eyelash application!

  12. Raquel Papel says:

    okay, I am going to say something quite, well, bitchy. I am having a hard time looking at Michaela’s teeth! I know this sounds a bit shallow, but I keep thinking, you can fly to Paris on a moment’s notice, but you can’t go to the dentist to have your teeth fixed. posers. But, I guess that is the point. Okay, going back to lurking now

  13. I just proof read the blog and realized that I spelled “Michaele” wrong 4 times. Thanks for telling me guys! I don’t know why, but her name is the hardest word for me to type. It’s just so unnatural. I think I might give up and just start calling her Michelle. Everyone on the show seems to call her something different so I’ll just make up my own name too. Why not?

    • tuzentswurth says:

      I thought you did that on purpose… shouldn’t have said anything. I thought it was very clever satire b/c it is such a difficult name to spell. You’re right, everybody says it differently, who knows that name, what was her mother thinking!

    • tuzentswurth says:

      Let’s call her Mike. I only saw the different spellings b/c I had to refer to the blog to find the damn spelling! lol

    • momsthoughts says:

      I actually read today that her real original name is Michelle! So that works! 🙂

      I have a thing about teeth too – very annoying…fix them! AND I am getting plenty sick of these people whose world is crashing around them and they throw on a party dress and just go out and have fun. Michaela, Michelle, whatever and Teresa – could we at least see you cry once! puh-lease!

  14. TT in OC says:

    Some interesting info. about Tareq. I wonder who put him on wikipedia?

    • oopsy says:

      TT in OC, wow. Just wow. The wikipedia entry on the Salahis is unbelievable. I don’t know who is worse, the Guidices or the Salahis. How could someone steal from charity? They will never make restitution to those they owe yet they will continue their fab lifestyle. They should be completely shunned by society. How do they even look people in the eye or hold their heads up?

      • tuzentswurth says:

        The Salami’s are narcissistic to the extreme. It is a personality disorder that allows them to never think how others may view them, they just think they are so fabulous that everyone else thinks that too, no matter what. They will never have shame, much like our NJ “ladies”, esp. Teresa.

  15. Nauseous says:

    Michaele’s assistant Kelly….wonder how long she’ll last? Like many Salahi employees before her, will she quit when she doesn’t get paid. Have any of you googled the Salahis. Here is the real story. OMG, what a documentary program they would make. They are hauled into Virginia courts so often, Salahis should have their very own bench. What a joke for Tareq to suggest Mary’s daughter part of an FBI investigation. Salahi’s are the ones under investigation for their phoney charity activities via Americas Polo Cup. They have dozens of judgements against them for not paying their bills. Pond scum smells better than these two.

  16. Anitabee says:

    Im done with the DC housewives. I just couldn’t get into it. They are all so boring. What the heck? None of them are power players in DC. The salamis are truly beyond disgusting.

    I just can’t understand the love Bravo has for losers, whores, and theives on these shows. What’s next a serial killer? (I mean, come one, how close is little Kiki Bensimon to that title? You know her first victim will be Jill. Since she scared of the other women because they bully her.)

    • Distressed says:

      I’m not watching DC either, not for all the wine in Virginia.

      This blog is enough for me. It really is more than adequate.

  17. Tracy Hunley says:

    Ok, come clean. This is a professional comedian masquerading as someone obsessed with the Housewives franchise, right? There is NO WAY you are coming up with this kind of witty clever narrative unless you’re a professional. My guess is that you were once awriter for SNL and got sacked and now you’ve created this kick-ass blog replete with screen prints. This shit is too fucking good to be true! I laughed so hard my stomach hurt and my son was looking at me like I was crazy!

    More please…MORE.

    • Wow. THANK YOU. I think this is the best complement I’ve ever received.
      I swear, I’m just a bored housewife with nothing better to do. Lol. I’ve never worked as a comedian, I actually never even knew I was funny until people on the blogs started telling me I was.

      • Tam5115 says:

        Oh, you’re funny. You actually made this shit fest DC entertaining, and that’s saying something.

        Best idea EVER to put Cat in T’s house (Caroline must be there too). I’ve never seen a snarkier bitch in my life! Caroline would have to clue Teresa in though, she wouldn’t know she was being ripped apart just using her own brain.

        • anniieee says:

          I love love love reading your blogs. They are hysterical..and you pull stuff out of the most inane and boring scenes and make me almost pee myself..(I’m getting old.) I have blown coffee outta my nose… wonder I can’t get a date. Anyway–I now subscribe to your blog as I am always playing catch-up.

      • tuzentswurth says:

        Totally agree, and see, you need those disclaimers. Ain’t I smart, ain’t I. RCH, I am hooked on this blog, you truly have a gift!

  18. Need a Hobby says:

    I just realized Michael/Michelle’s dress looks like something designed and sewn by someone who was “auf’d” early in the competition on Project Runway. Seriously.

    • anniieee says:

      It didn’t fit at all..and the material seems cheap and really shiney–like the butt on the velvet christmas dress…we had to wear.

  19. lady k says:

    i think that DC started slow but is getting better. i prefer barbs to be verbal and not physical and the emotional and mental issues are interesting and funny. after all, they have nothing to do with my life.

    initially, i thought she was being bullied/dominated by tareq, but as dc unfolds, it is clear to me that the salahi’s are very well suited.

    i like the turners, cat is an obnoxious mess – i feel bad for her ex, and am pretty much indifferent to the others…

  20. Need a Hobby says:

    Yes, the Turners seem like fairly normal humans, especially by Ho’wives stds. They’re a cute couple too.

    But I can’t forget that hubby has his little hobbies. Remember, he holds a patent on a “penile volumetric measuring device.” No doubt intended to definitively settle the age old “mine’s bigger than yours” question. (This must make for interesting parties after everyone’s had a few: “Hold on, we’ll settle this once and for all.”)

    Something I cannot possibly regard with a straight face. Will we insomniacs soon be seeing infomercials for the amazing “Weenie Wizard” on late night TV?

    Specs and info from the patent office on this device can be found here:

    • tuzentswurth says:

      I didn’t see that segment, will have to catch it on reruns. Sounded stupid to me at first, but on second thought, I think it is a great idea! I think men should be subject to feeling inadequate and needing implants and enlargements to just feel that they are attractive, much the same as the RH “woman” and so many others have to get fake boobs. Guys, if you don’t measure your goods and make sure they are competitive, you won’t get the best ladies…Hahahaha
      (I secretly think this is a dumb idea)

    • TT in OC says:

      Hi ladies, I just come back from work and can’t wait to get on this blog!

      @Need a Hobby, I remember that segment too and that’s why I reserve my judgement for the Turners. Perhaps it’s just a man thing to discuss such a subject among them but that discussion initiated by Jason (I think) bothers me a little.

  21. Snarkella says:

    I’m typing on my phone so please bear with me. (how pathetic am I? Lol).

    Another fantastic blog RCH. You are a natural at this.

    Unlike most of the people leaving comments I do enjoy the DC Wives. That Cat is such a bitch!! She’s a rude, inconsiderate, pushy, overbearing shit stirrer. I love her! Unlike the other wives (possibly excluding Stacy) she’s being herself instead of trying to play to the camera. Hate Lynda, especially when she flashes that phony little-girl smile. I think she things it makes her look younger. Nope!

    I hate Mary. She’s a sad drunk. No life in her. I find her really pathetic.

    I hate Mike and her I’m-the-life-of-the-party-in-my-neon-pink-dress personality. Also pathetic.

    Damn, I don’t like much. But I like how Cat keeps throwing them all for a loop. Stir Cat, stir.

    And I like reading the blogs the next day!!! Okay I’m tired of typing on my phone now so if this message doesn’t make sense, so be it.

    • Yes yes yes! I agree with everything. Except Mike. She really doesn’t bother me. And I love how all she has to do is wear a pink dress to get the other women to freak out.
      I’m honestly on the fence about Stacie. She seems really nice and down to earth – seems thats way. But if you listen to the shit she says, she’s really judgmental. But I’m still holding off my final opinion on her until I see more.

    • tuzentswurth says:

      DC is growing on me. This past episode was the first one I watched the whole way through. I have come to love Cat too, she is a bitch, but calls people out on their pretentiousness…….and wow there is a lot of that on these shows. You nailed my feelings on these ladies, and I hope RCH gets into these “woman” cause she does recap the shows superbly!

  22. Nauseous says:

    I’m leaving it up to you RCH to watch this program. Hope you keep a barf bag within reach. Can’t trust myself to watch…I’d get so pissed I’d probably throw something heavy at the TV screen. Congratulations to Tareq and his big mouth. Now half the audience will be searching the internet, looking for news of the phoney FBI investigation and instead, will discover what slugs (sorry slugs!) the Salahis actually are. Like the FBI gives a rat’s ass about some stollen pollo mallets…PLEEESSE!!! Tareq gets all “drama queen” (sorry drama queens!) about some equipment, while in lawsuits, his parents claim he misappropriated millions from the winery. The FBI story is just more of the phoney PR crap the Salahis make up to peddle off on the gullible. Wonder whats coming down the pike. As the shit rises to the surface of this cesspool, how long before Bravo throws a few bodies under the bus to cover their own stinky behinds.

  23. Snarkella says:

    Before I actually go and do something productive, I just wanted to review my favorite line from this installment:

    “Mary’s had enough of the accusations and storms out, but only after topping off her wine glass first.”


  24. nathania says:

    I really hope you will keep blogging DC…I know people aren’t crazy about it but I am so bored now that NJ is over and your b.s. blogs are the best thing on the internet regarding the housewives. The Defamer guy is funny but even in jest he depresses the h*ll out of me…I know he’s joking but he’s extremely dark and it’s a bit much. From what I’ve seen in the trailers for BH it practically makes fun of itself so I don’t know how much material there will be in that one. I think you have Mary pinned down, you closed some gaps for me on that one.

  25. Tracy Hunley says:

    @ Real City Housewife and the rest of the posters. Thank you. I am going through a break-up that while a long time coming and for the best is nevertheless painful. Coming here, reading your comments and the laughter that has ensued has been good medicine. When I want to start feeling sorry for myself I log on and even if I read a recap that I’ve read before the laughter still does me good. That’s what I’m doing now, posting at 3:51 a.m. I don’t mean to bring the mood down but people need to be aware of when they effect someone positively.

    I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

    • tuzentswurth says:

      Tracy, Keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep finding humor wherever you can and know that this difficult time will pass. Come back and laugh often, it will save you, you’re not alone. I hope you get over your difficulties soon and find laughter and sunshine every day soon!

    • I’m sorry Tracy, break ups are never easy. We’ve all been there. I’m glad I could make you laugh during this difficult time. ♥

  26. tuzentswurth says:

    OMG I just heard on Headline News that Michelle Sahlahi says she has MS for the past 17 years. I’m so jaded on these people that I don’t even know whether to believe this???
    I’d hate to call BS if it is true, but after so many lies and so much deceit is it any wonder I’m skeptical?

  27. jamminjimmy says:

    i was sorry Cats friend died, but i was glad to see her in pain because she likes to deliver pain to others.She is a mean intolerant witch.

  28. Nauseous says:

    Looks like Bravo is starting to throw the Salahis under the bus…not without the help of the Salahi’s themselves. Said I wouldn’t watch (bad me) but saw episode 6 promo of the Salahi’s house hunting and had to see it. Shows how crazy Tareq is thinking by his faux persona that he and Micheale can weasel their way into an 8 million dollar property. Glad it didn’t work. Had a stressful experience a few years ago trying to sell my house. A couple came in from Texas and tried to buy our house along with some other properties in my area (Oregon). First they made an offer to lease our for one year ending with a full purchase payment/sale. The offer was made if we agreed to move out in two weeks time. We turned it down, the time frame was impossible and we weren’t desperate. They came back again with a second offer to purchase with 30 day closing. We agreed but they defaulted on the contract because they never came up with the good faith money they promised ($1,000) with the offer. Fortunately, another buyer came through immediately, after. Our real estate agent found out the couple from Texas had unpaid debts…probably on the lam. Had we accepted the lease/purchase offer from them, we could have ended with some big financial problems and deadbeat tennents we’d have to evict. Meantime, they could have gutted the house, sold the appliances and cut down all the trees (they expressed interest in selling some of the lumber) and we wouldn’t have found out until it was too late. Wonder if the “royal suite” is really the Salahi’s DC-in city, home sweet home or had they been there a few days to fool Stacy?

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