The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season Two Reunion – Part 2

WARNING: It is highly recommended that you refrain from ingesting liquid beverages while reading this blog. If you use an inhaler, please make sure you have it ready. If you are pregnant, nursing, or have a heart condition, please consult your doctor before continuing.

Well I’m 10 minutes into the reunion (that’s without commercials) and I’m not sure what’s going on. It hard to follow the conversation because no one finishes a sentence or bothers to stay on topic. Everyone is yelling and talking over one another. I think I heard “whore” and “wench”. Wench? Really? Are we back in the 1800’s?  I don’t even know what they are arguing about. The only thing I’m sure of at this point is that Teresa needs to either cross her legs or put her hands back in her lap because one wrong move and we are dangerously close to seeing some chucky.

While Caroline and Jacqueline insult Danielle, Teresa begins to mimic her words and movements. My brother used to do this to me when we were ten. TEN! Is it any wonder Teresa’s kids are so horribly behaved? In another year Gia is going to be more mature than her mother. Teresa was trying to make fun of Danielle, but the only thing she accomplished was making herself look like an utter fool. Classy:

Danielle does what I would have done at the very first insult and walks off, and then even Andy starts yelling at her! I really don’t like Andy anymore. He called Ramona and the other NY women bullies for not letting Kelly speak. And gave them heat for calling Kelly crazy which is not so much an insult as it is the truth. But Andy allows these women to hurl really disrespectful insults at Danielle and then yells at her when she wants to walk away? That’s it. I do not like Andy Cohen anymore. Officially on my shit list.

Run Danielle!

Jac gets up like she wants to fight and Andy has to put her back in her seat. Teresa yells at her to come back out, reminding her that she took boxing lessons. Teresa says she would fight Danielle for 100 thousand dollars. If they put it on pay per view, they just might be able to reach that amount.

Danielle calls Jacqueline a Vegas whore. I would make a joke about Danielle making this comment while dressed like a hooker, but I already did that in my last blog.

Danielle claims that Lori can attest to the fact that she doesn’t sleep with men.
Anymore Danielle. Anymore is the key word here.
No one accused her of sleeping with a man yesterday. But whatever. Let’s all ignore the facts and just insult each other some more.

Danielle says “Round em up”. I  have no idea what that’s supposed to mean.

Danielle reveals that her and Caroline are the same age. I didn’t know that. But I don’t belive Danielle’s accusations that Caroline is jealous of her looks. Clearly Caroline does not care about appearances. No one with a mirror and an ounce of vanity could leave the house with hair like that.

During the break Andy scolds Teresa and Jacqueline for getting off the couch again. You know what Bravo – if this is the type of shit we have to watch, why don’t you just go to a grade school play ground and film the kids picking on each other and getting lectured by the teachers?

Now Andy wants to talk about Dina leaving the show. Seriously Andy? Dina, again? All of a sudden it’s ok to bring up Dina. Even Danielle gets to talk about her this time. Way to be consistent.
Caroline starts going on about how it was supposed to be a fun family show and Danielle ruined it bla bla fucking bla… No Caroline! It’s not supposed to be a fun family show for you to create memories with. If that’s the kind of show you wanted to be on then you should have signed a contract with TLC. It’s supposed to be entertainment for us – the viewers. And your “cute” family scenes are just not entertaining enough so now you have to deal with Danielle. That’s what you get for being boring. Now I would appreciate it if you would do your job and start entertaining.

This basically sums up Caroline in this episode:

A viewer wants to know if Jacqueline takes responsibility for Ashley’s actions since she is the one who raised her. Jacqueline doesn’t know if she should be held responsible for Ashley’s behavior or not. Hmmm… I wonder? She decides to go with the “she’s an adult and I can’t control her” excuse. Totally ignoring the fact that Ashley hasn’t been a (legal) adult for very long and that clearly this behavior did not develop over night. Jacqueline just doesn’t understand why Ashley turned out bad because they’ve “tried so many different parenting techniques with her”. Well, you think that may be the problem Jac? I know you read my blog, so let me help you out: click me

Danielle still thinks “Bye” is a death threat. Omg do we really need to talk about this? Who cares anymore? As someone on twitter said yesterday; “Bye” is only a threat if the person is holding a gun to your head when they say it.

Andy wants to talk about twitter! Yay I love twitter. Danielle said she never saw the Ashley/suicide tweet. Danielle claimed that she was replying to another one of his tweets that day, not the suicide one. No matter which tweet she hit “reply” on, I don’t believe that she didn’t see that tweet. We all saw it, and people were re-tweeting it and talking about it all day. I also remember there being a few tweets between them that day, not just a reply to a birthday wish. People are on twitter as I type this trying to solve the mystery, so I’m sure there will be updates to this story in the comments section.
That tweet crossed the line, I’m not disputing that, but right now I’m totally wishing I had been the one who sent it. Do you know how much I would be bragging if my tweets had been discussed on the reunion show? Good plan. Mental note: death threats before DC reunion.

Teresa is still sticking to her “I was just be’in nice” version of the country club story. Andy totally lets her get away with it. Fucking pussy. We are half way through and nothing shocking has happened yet. This reunion totally sucks. Why don’t we just burn Danielle at the stake and get it over with?

Next we have a courtroom demonstration of the hair pull. Sorry guys but I’m totally siding with Danielle on this one. I have extensions and I don’t doubt Danielle’s story for a minute. I know how incredibly painful it is just having them attached, and also having them removed in the salon. I can’t even imagine having them ripped out.

Jacqueline uses the opportunity to pull Teresa’s hair. She pretends that she was just trying to give her own demonstration, and giggles about it. But I think we all know she was just looking for an excuse to hurt Teresa without getting beat up.

Danielle insists that she heard Ashley threaten to kill her. Caroline accuses Danielle of perjury. I bet Caroline is regretting that right now considering all the new evidence that has come out against Teresa. So do you or don’t you approve of perjury Caroline? There is no way Caroline is going to be able to defend Teresa next season without looking like a huge hypocrite.

Kim G took a little detour on her way to the prom and stopped by the reunion.

Caroline says that Kim is like The Wizard of Oz, “they ask and she appears”. Has Caroline ever seen The Wizard of Oz? He did not just appear. Dorothy had to go through a whole lot of crap to find him.

Danielle tries to call out Kim for stirring up trouble at the Brownstone by repeating Chris’s comment about having a “big surprise” waiting for them – and leaving out the part that is was regarding the way they were dressed. I would like to hear Kim’s answer to this. Kim gives a total bullshit response and then deflects the question by accusing Danielle of something-or-other. And this is what moderators are for, Andy. To control the floor and make sure people stay on topic. Andy sucks at this. If he weren’t the boss he would have been fired by now.

Andy wants to know if Caroline will have lunch with Kim now that she’s not friends with Danielle anymore. Kim is really hoping Caroline says yes.

But Caroline doesn’t believe in having friends who aren’t related to you through blood, marriage, or Godmothership. Kim G is heart broken.

Teresa asks Kim how old she is. I don’t know, but she looks old enough to be Jacqueline’s mother. Kim avoids the question. We talk about how Kim G is related to Kim D and other bullshit that no one cares about while ignoring the real issues.

Kim and Teresa get into it for a minute but that argument doesn’t really go anywhere, and then that’s it. Kim G’s time is up. Wtf?! Can we have some more Kim/Teresa drama please?! Can we read some more tweets? Can we ask Jacqueline how she can not hate the woman who testified against her daughter in court? Can we call out Kim for using Danielle to get on the show, or how about the fact that she clearly stabbed her in the back on purpose hoping it would get her “in” with the Manzo’s? Andy you suck!

All the women agree on disliking Kim G except for Jac who insists that she doesn’t mind her. I’m not surprised. Jac would be friends with Jeffery Dahmer if he asked her to be.

Caroline wants to know what she ever did to Danielle. Danielle basically says (and I’m paraphrasing because it was hard to follow with all the constant interruptions) that neither her nor Caroline directly did anything wrong to each other. But if Caroline is going to insist that a transgression against Dina or Jac counts as a transgression against her, then by the same logic Danielle can claim that a transgression made by either Dina or Jac can be considered a transgression by Caroline. The answer makes sense. But Caroline was too busy listening to the sound of her own voice and plotting her next sarcastic response to hear it.

Interesting: Danielle says that in the court room she offered to drop the charges if Ashley apologized to her and Ashley laughed and said “no”. Not only does Jac not deny that this happened – she starts making excuses for it.

All Danielle wanted was an apology from Ashley and for them to agree that she didn’t deserve to have her hair ripped out. But no, the Manzo’s have “integrity” and would rather be charged in court than apologize to someone as “beneath them” as Danielle. Looks like they are still trying to win at that losing game.

Teresa tells Danielle that Jacqueline “wouldn’t never have done dat to your daughter.” Ok Teresa. Just sit there and play with your hair, none of these question have anything to do with you.

Suddenly Jacqueline realized “Oh shit. I’m totally coming off as a total bitch. Did I just defend my daughter for pulling someone’s hair and refusing to apologize for it? Oh no, people on the blogs and twitter are going to crucify me for this. All I want is for everyone to like me! Quick, think Jac, think… how do I fix this?” And then she came up with a genius plan to revive some of her “nice girl” image from season one. Apologize to Danielle!!

Caroline is piiiiiised.

Jacqueline and Danielle both try to apologize, but they keep interrupting each other and I don’t think either one really wants to hear what the other has to say – they just want their part to be heard.

And then finally, the moment we have all been waiting for. The totally shocking unexpected thing is: Lesbian love affair!
Yes, it’s true. There was a lot of whispering going on and it was hard to hear what they were saying, so I put the captions on and took screen shots so you all can see.

Well I wasn’t expecting that. I’m so glad Bravo kept their promise and delivered a surprise ending. Because if the two minute preview clip would have turned out to be more interesting than the entire two part reunion, I would have been pretty pissed.


Click here to read Caroline Manzo’s Bullshit Bravo Blog

Click here to read Teresa Giudice’s Bullshit Bravo Blog

If you think Andy Cohen sucks as reunion host click here and sign the petition.

This entry was posted in Caroline Manzo, Danielle Staub, Dina Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, Kim G, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Recaps, Teresa Giudice, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

141 Responses to The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season Two Reunion – Part 2

  1. Lauratweets says:

    Best blog on this episode yet! Amazing, the group smack down on D. Talk of Twitter but no talk of Italy trip, what was “on-topic” there. I agree with everything you said and love the pics! Andy perhaps a little beholden to Manzo/Giudice Mob because of book deal? Who knows but very obvious.

  2. Squirrels says:

    That had to be, hands down, the best recap of any episode of any HW franchise I’ve ever seen! Friggin’ GENIUS! This one’s going to go viral, and it should.

  3. karrylin says:

    you have the funniest blog ever!!!
    oh..the captions of the “secret love of DD and JL” is just too funny….snorted with laughter and that means 10 out of 10 funny scale….plus,. extra points for almost peeing myself.
    can I just say….LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog!!!!
    homage to T….and then…to C, how about “lissena me disiz da lastimeima gonnatell you…”
    you are funny, keep it up! when I feel blue, like kims dress..I’ll just get online and snort a laugh or two….but these DC girls…boring. can you blog them funny? if you can, I will watch but they are a snore.

  4. karrylin says:

    Last Year….T got her boobs done. a C cup.
    they looked normal.
    they look like….oh something that is going to spill out of the flowers and all over the floor and move across the carpet size boobs…

    • Sardonica says:

      The visual you typed about T’s boobies has made me ill. I will have nightmares. I am calling my lawyer to issue a restraining order against any further comments by you about said bubbies and dress as soon as I am off this blog site which should be in about two days… or three depending on how much coffee is left in the house

    • dreemz says:

      I’ve been thinking they look bigger too. But she has gained weight all over since the boob job hasn’t she? Her ass sure looks like it. Well, too bad Tree. Won’t be able to talk any Dr. into a liposuction now…they like to get paid. $$$$

  5. jane says:

    oh, my freeking holy blog, loved it from head to toe
    teresa head explosion is so insane lol!

  6. momsthoughts says:

    Brilliant….once again I am in stitches. This is so funny. I don’t necessarily agree with all your assessments – but it is funny as hell. THANK YOU! I needed that laugh. Now my dog is looking at me for laughing out loud when no one else is here.

    • Thanks!
      I know you don’t agree with everything, that’s because you are wrong. But it’s ok. I like you anyway. 🙂

      • Lauratweets says:

        Joe’s behavior on that Italy trip, speaks volumes. Leaving the christening party early? I can hear T’s excuses for that already. Andy did a poor job editing to say the least.

        • Shari says:

          Speaking of Joe, wasn’t it brought out that he didn’t have a drivers license? If this is true, he should have never been behind the wheel in the first place, the night he wrecked his truck.

          • Anonymous says:

            wouldn’t be surprised about the dl as it came out in court papers that joe had been contacted by irs “two or three or four months ago” in regards to his unfilled tax returns for 04-08. total scofflaw, t’s husband. and where do they get that 10k a month from, really?

          • Need a Hobby says:

            If Joe had been driving without a valid license at the time of his accident, he would have been charged with that in addition to the DWI and it would have come out in the court case and the media coverage. There was no indication that his license was not in good standing at the time of the accident. His license was suspended as a result of his conviction for the DWI.

        • humbruh says:

          Andy needs a swift kick in the meatballs this trash.

      • oopsy says:


      • Tam5115 says:

        Great big snorty laugh.

      • OneMoreinBoston says:

        girl- I think I’m falling in love


    • Sardonica says:

      My dog is used to the laughing. It is the talking to myself in a Jersey accent that makes mine roll her big brown eyes in disgust.

  7. Shari says:

    Caroline has something she’s hiding. Why else would she not want to be friends with anyone outside of her family? IMHO it’s because she is afraid that those ‘friends’ would learn something she didn’t want known and be able to use it against her or her family.

    • Sardonica says:

      She is hiding the fact Sharon Osbourne is her long lost con-joined twin who was separated at birth by the same Dr who sucked the sweat glands out of Ramona. It is indeed a small world afterall!

    • Tam5115 says:

      She wouldn’t be the boss of them? ::shrug::

    • BonBon says:

      Would you want to be friends with that unforgiving, unrelenting, know-it-all and is alwaysrightandneverwrong bullying BITCH? I swear to G-d, I wanted to punch the screen on my tv, but then whispered to myself, “She’s not worth it. She’s not worth a new flatscreen.” My “Rational” self controlled my “Teresa” self, thankyouverymuch.
      Only Kim G. would want to be friends with the likes of her, in order to gain a spot on this Masterpiece Theatre of Househog’s Heavenly “show”.
      PRAISE Jah!!! It’s officially OVER. (for now).

  8. Lisa says:

    This is THE FUNNIEST BLOG I’ve ever read!!!!! ROFLMFAO!!!!!!! BRAVO! ENCORE!

  9. TT in OC (formerly An American Alien) says:

    Love your sense of humor and computer knowledge. I laugh so hard at the last 3 “films”.

    I found your blog via LynnnChicago and have added yours to my favorites bar too.

  10. Viewer says:

    This is sooo funny. I can’t stop laughing. I love the captions. You are a riot. Great blog.

    BTW: I don’t like Andy Cohen anymore. He used to be so sweet and fair. What happened?

  11. MannysGrammy says:

    Gre8T Blog!~Laughing hysterically…it’s been yrs since I’ve needed an inhaler, but yer killin me here, wow!
    I ❤ the captions & the pics of T's flames shooting out her ears as she sees her other fave person across the room~Melissa~whom btw T~we all like & believe!! I bet that just kills you???
    You & Lynn are awesome @ what U do, & all the followers comments just add to it all! Weather we all agree on everything or not, we do agree that WE HATE TERESA, & JILL ZARIN.

    • Holy shit! I’m going to add a disclaimer up top.
      Can u imagine the headline? “Online Blog Kills Woman: Are You At Risk?”

      • oopsy says:

        you are too too funny!

      • MannysGrammy says:

        I AM serious g/f, i fricken laughed so hard i was wheezing like i used to when i was having asthma attacks & would use an inhaler! It was a few mos ago i had a good laugh about something online (i forget what) grabbed an emergency inhaler..i ended up puking after i used & my kids were like wth, than i was laughing at how stupid i was to give myself an attack at laughing at something! Geesh i don’t need a life at all??!!
        Better put up that disclaimer if you plan on keeping up this hysterical Blog!!

        • MannysGrammy says:

          OMG am I slow today..holy cats I JUST noticed your disclaimer already up as i scrolled….you should be a stand up comedian with Beth or Kathy!!!

      • BonBon says:

        U really do have naturally witty snark to you, Canada woman.

  12. MannysGrammy says:

    Oh, & I meant to add that between You, Lynn, & a few of the awesome followers should totally share time as the moderator at these reunions, cuz Andy does suck! The only way I understand what was said/happened in these shows is the great blogs that are posted after……so applause to you for doing Andys job much better than he ever did!

  13. Thank you everyone! I’m glad you all liked it because Photoshop is a real pain in the ass and it took me forever. Lol.

  14. Update: Kim G actually did not testify against Ashley in court.
    I was thinking of the episode where she went to court to press charges with Danielle when I wrote that. It wasn’t in the show, but in the end she ended up testifying against Danielle.

    • Sardonica says:

      I will have to have the attorney issue you with papers for the misleading info wherein you mixed up one show with another. This is not acceptable and I have finally figured out who the REAL clown is, missy! Funny, funny recap. I want to suggest you as the hostess of these reunions. Maybe some of us could volunteer to be bodyguards. I, personally will guard Teresa. I am good with animals.

    • BonBon says:

      Of course…..anything to get in good with everyone who hated Danielle..which was everyone! Just think, Kim G. could be the next Danielle. I think that excites me as much, if not more than Teresa. And I don’t know if the Trampy T is returning. Now we need new acronyms for the others. There will be no more Dirty D with whom to deal.

  15. Snappy says:

    Awesome read! I feel exactly the same as you do about these ‘woman’. To see the people drool over at the Bravo blogs with their gushy comments about ‘how great you are, Caroline’ ‘or I love, love, love, you Teresa!’ makes me want to vomit.

    • Sardonica says:

      …another visual I could have done without. Thanks Snappy. You will be hearing from my attorney after one “karrylin” does. I bet that isn’t even her real name. Is yours really Snappy? I need to know for the court orders

  16. Pingback: Twitted by StephB_Dallas

  17. redcapd says:

    Funny as all get out once again! I know I am the minority ( I like most of the cast)but, I do love a good laugh and you never let me down! Glad you posted a warning. The screen caps were the best. I still cant stop laughing! Thank you!!!

  18. I covered the Danielle/Ashley Twitter debacle on my blog, just as you predicted someone would do. Turns out that there were two tweets that same day from the same loser to Danielle, both begging her to notice his birthday. One was innocent, the other one malicious.

    The “model/actor” (ugh) who specifically wished Ashley dead is tweeting today that he’s suddenly in talks with NBC Universal, which he notes to be the parent company of Bravo. No one in their right mind would ever believe he didn’t set Danielle up, in light of that information.

    • I will never believe that Danielle didn’t see that tweet. It was re-tweeted a million times and talked about all day. You cannot expect me to believe that she is the only person on twitter who didn’t see it.
      Also, I remember (although I’m aware of how unreliable eye-witness accounts can be) that there was a conversation between them, it was more than just those two tweets that day.

      • Shari says:

        Danielle may have seen the tweet, but it wasn’t the one she replied to. click on ‘in response to priinceedwin and it will take u to the tweet she responded to.

        • I know. But just because she didn’t reply to it doesn’t mean she didn’t see it.
          Like I said, EVERYONE on twitter that day saw that tweet. No way she didn’t see it.

          • Shari says:

            I’m not trying to be a smartass, but, I didn’t say she didn’t see it, only that she didn’t reply to it.

            I don’t know, I guess it’s just that I feel so bad for Danielle. I’ve been where she is now. (I haven’t done the things she done in her past) I’ve been ganged up on and called a liar, when I was the only one telling the truth. I was even slapped in the face for telling the truth. It hurts to be called a liar when you are telling the truth but have no way of proving it.

            • I know. I’m not arguing with you. I also feel bad for Danielle always being ganged up on. But I call it like I see it and people keep posting these links like it’s some kind of concrete proof. I don’t think it’s proof of anything.
              How many people do you think re-tweeted it to her, or sent her a tweet regarding her response? She didn’t see any of those tweets either?

              Bottom line – you can’t prove one way or the other whether she saw it or not. But no one is going to be able to convince me that she didn’t see it.

              • Shari says:

                Does it really matter if she saw it or not? I’m one of the few who didn’t see it, that is, until it was posted on Lynn’s blog.

                Danielle has had to endure so much already, so I don’t blame her for denying it if she did indeed see it. I would too, just to stop all the madness.

                People are saying that Danielle’s apology wasn’t heart felt, but I think it was. In some ways, i”m just like her. (or at least I was. I no longer have friends in the real world, because I got so tired of being stabbed in the back by those who I ‘thought’ were my friends, even my best friend, that I just gave up on trying.) I’d find out that one of my friends had said something about me that wasn’t true, and I’d lash out. But I didn’t mean what I said, I only said it because I was hurt. I think that’s what happened with Danielle as well. Once Jacq apologized, Danielle did too and she dropped the charges. I’m not saying what she did was right, only that I’ve been there, so I can’t condem her for it.

                I hope that came across the way I intended it, i’m not that articulate, sorry.

                • Danielle didn’t drop the charges. Ashley was already convicted at the time the reunion aired.

                • Shari says:

                  I was wondering about that. I wonder what happened between the taping and the trial that made her change her mind and move on with it?

                • Need a Hobby says:

                  At the time of the reunion there were no criminal charges for Danielle to drop. Ashley had already been through the court system and sentenced.

                  Danielle may have been threatening something else, but any civil litigation would leave a record. Additionally, people can huff and puff about suing but doesn’t mean they have a case that would actually ever see the light of day in a court much less prevail. Any criminal charges filed by a DA also would leave a record.

                  And Danielle had to “endure” so much? Because being on a cable TV show, bragging about how fabulous, rich & sexy one is, is like, oh I don’t know, being in Auschwitz, having polio, being paralyzed in a car wreck after being hit by a drunk driver?

                  Please don’t mistake any of these women participating on this show for people who have actually suffered real hardships that are not the result of their own doing. These women signed up for this show…no one forced them to be on this show with the others, they could have left, they didn’t….instead they played the game, played to the cameras….all of them.

                  I can’t believe anyone really takes any part of this “reality” show—or any of these women—seriously. You’re being played.

                • Shari says:

                  I wasn’r referring to what she has endured in her life, rather what she had to endure from the other three women. I wouldn’t treat my worst enemy the way they treated Danielle on the reunion show.

                  Also, I don’t believe ALL of what appears on the screen, some of it has to be scripted.

                • Need a Hobby says:

                  That was exactly my point, what she had to “endure” from the others was NOTHING in comparison to actual real life problems and hardships. & she willingly played along & dished her own out too.

      • momsthoughts says:

        I agree with you! She blocks anyone who posts anything that could be slightly construed as unflattering…but his death wish go unnoticed….and she converses with him daily to this day.

        That tweet was all over twitter that day – of course she knew. He probably tweeted to her twice to give her an out.

        I can hear her in that sassy, smart ass snarky voice saying it …”I am the matriarch of this family…and I hope all YOUR birthday wishes come true”

        She knew, she tweeted, she still converses with a sociopath.

        Some how a whole lot of people think this breaking “forensic investigation” clears Danielle of all wrong doing in her entire life and have been tweeting apologies to her all day. Un-freakin -believable.

        JUST MY OPINION…and I am not likely to change it – so pls don’t bother.

        Please allow me this moment to agree with @putyourhairup

        • 2nd time this week we are agreeing!!

          • KirksvilleMo says:

            Someone please explain how the sin of Danielle not unfriending this dude on twitter whether she knew, lied, responded,or whatever is so unforgivable and such proof of her moral bankruptcy YET Carolines association with Kerik and Giudices is never even mentioned much less judged?
            If we are going to condemn and slaughter Danielle over things she may or may NOT have done then I ask that all of the women on this show be held to the same standards of judgement.That is all I want.Equal treatment.
            Can someone please do that?

            • Who is condemning and slaughtering? Who is not holding the other women to the same standard?
              Are we reading the same blog?

              • KirksvilleMo says:

                Same blog,referring to comments and both seasons overall.You are fair in your judgements but you are in the minority.Mostly what I see is Danielle being judged and ridiculed over sins real and imagined while others getting a pass.Only with this latest document are more viewers beginning to see Teresa and Joe as the grifters they are.Still with all the court docs viewers still hate Danielle far more and judge her more harshly.

  19. ilovelynn says:

    OMG! coffee. nose. actually, this time of day it was seltzer with lemon. you haven’t lived until you have passed an entire lemon slice through your nose! next time I will pay attention to the disclaimer at the top of the page.

    btw, I have a client in montville and he took me pass theresa’s house today.(montville, towaco, whatever, same difference) it is worst than I thought. HUGE iron gates with lions on the concrete pillars, natch, then a long driveway up to the gaudiest house I have ever seen! it looks worst in person than it does on tv. also, I spoke to someone who has a cousin whose brother’s ex-girlfriend’s father(ok, just kidding, on a roll there)..where was I, oh yeah, this someone was at a wedding with a teacher from theresa’s kids school and she said all the teachers love her, she is so sweet, always bringing them food etc. go figure.

  20. Distressed says:

    So Caroline might be on

    If you follow the link make sure to read the comments about Tiny Manzo’s demise back in the day.

    The blind item is obviously Queen Caroline. And Danielle’s the only pathological liar, okey dokey.

    Great recap to a very boring pointless show about boring pointless issues and the lies from a bunch of boring pointless woman that they tell us for a few dollars more. Love your blog, the only point in watching the show for me is the blogging aftermath.

    I’d love to know what babydoll Jax has to say about Caroline’s amazing weight loss due to “portion control”.

  21. @twilighttwitti says:

    When I want a good laugh I read your blogs. I loved the captions and especially Teresa’s head blowing up with fury. I can’t wait until Melissa Gorga comes on and put T in her place. Lol

  22. Perjury, Fraud & Lies says:

    Fucking great blog! Tears in my eyes, my side hurts from laughing.
    That was damn funny! Your awesome RCH 8)

  23. Okay, haven’t even finished reading, but I have to respond to your smackdown of poor little Andy Cohen. I know he’s drawing a lot of fire, and I have been known to disparage him–calling him a demon and referring to horns comes to mind–but let’s give him some credit after seeing him swatted off by Teresa like he was a gnat. The fact that the man doesn’t go into these reunions with a whip and chair makes him damn brave. I know I couldn’t sit there and ask these manic shrews insulting questions, no matter how true the insinuations and accusations are. Bravo, Andy! Well…you know what I mean. ;-D Okay, on to read more.

    • That’s why Andy is not the right man for the job. They really need to get someone else to handle the reunions. I think the moderators should be rotated.
      First we should have Kathy Griffin come in to make fun of them.
      Then we should have Nancy Grace grill them with the tough questions.
      The we should finish off with Dana White having them fight it out in a UFC cage match.

      • humbruh says:

        That would make my ENTIRE year if Nancy Grace were a guest moderator. She would have all of them in tears by the end of the night!

    • BonBon says:

      How about a “Hardball” question every now and then….pitched at someone other than Dunyelle? Which, in essence, doesn’t make them hardball questions at all, because everyone WANTS him to zing them at her which, in essence, makes them easy breezy softballs.

  24. Raquel Papel says:

    great blog as always. My favorite part were all the pictures of Caroline. You hit that nail on the head, that is all she did the entire time. Very classy. That is what I think of when I think of class, eye roll and horrible makeup. I know people really like her look on the reunion show, but she looked awful. Lauren did a terrible job (it was Lauren right?) maybe her Mom made her mad, maybe she was going for the clown look. and why is she growing that hair out. It’s just awful all the way around.

    I cannot get myself to dislike Danielle. In a way, I think she is brilliant. She plays those ladies like a violin. You can just see her sitting there saying….okay, now I will hit this button, now this one…boom – explosion. he he he. I don’t feel bad for the ladies at all because they go there with her. You do not taunt the bear at the zoo or the unstable person on the couch. You just don’t! Danielle has seen a lot in life and it shows. You just let her be, there is no use in trying to prove anything to her. She will not get it, but if she feels attacked, she will push your buttons and leave you looking like a fool.

    • I don’t think Lauren meant to make her mom look bad. I think she was just trying to showcase her skills. This was her first (and probably last) real job. And the makeup would have looked good on a 20 year old in a night club.
      But yeah…. that heavy makeup in addition to the Ronald McDonald hair only one episode after the clown dinner…. bad move.

      • debbie says:

        I recall Ashley tweeting after the reunion taping that she was “pissed’ at Jacqueline. Do you think it’s because Jaq apologized to Danielle. wanting to let it all go? I can’t think of anything else that was said, other than her parenting methods that could have upset her.

        • Yes exactly. A lot of people predicted that they would make up after she sent that tweet. What else could have happened that would make her mad?
          Even I said that the only thing that could possibly happen that would shock me would be if they all kissed and made up.
          But then it wasn’t that shocking after everyone had already predicted it.

    • dreemz says:

      In the pictures Caroline’s lips were all puffed up like she was attempting the pouty look.

  25. Amanda says:

    Andy Cohen is a weak excuse for a man.

    Struggles to pull out extensions, unable to moderate in any meaningful sense of the word and physically weak enough that T was able to flick him aside like a nasty fly shitting on her pasta.

    Moderating or thinking skills…Andy has none.

  26. Laura aka Just done says:

    Damn Woman…whenever I need a really good laugh I know I can come here! That was by far THE BEST recap written, although the Lesbian Love Scene between D&J made me throw up in my mouth a little!

    Keep going with these…LOVE IT! 🙂

  27. Tam5115 says:

    The best blog of yours I’ve read! 🙂

  28. Colibrimoon says:

    Funny and insightful as usual. I loved your comment about Caroline’s hair. What’s up with that? Didn’t this whole group originate from a hair salon? Maybe Caroline needs to go back to the beginning. Her hair was just awful this season.

    Thank you for a great laugh.

  29. Gin says:

    I don’t have a problem with Caroline’s hair. Her makeup might have been a little overdone but not completely awful. I think someone needs to advise her on her penchant for one-shoulder, Tarzan-type garments. But she needs to get over the idea that she’s the authority on everyone and everything.

    • To tell you the truth, I think her hair has improved from last year. But she just killed it with the clown comment. You can’t call someone a clown with hair like that. Now that’s all I can see when I look at her.

      • BonBon says:

        chuckling to one’s self…red hair…bozo nose (thanks MickeyMouth)…one clown calling the other one same.
        We need a new phrase for the “pot calling the kettle black”. Let’s see…”The clown calling the clown a clown?”. Nope. Doesn’t work. Let’s think on this…..

    • Sardonica says:

      The Tarzan dress works for the group. There is Caroline as Tarzan, Jac as Jane and of course, Teresa as Cheetah. Sorry, someone had to type it

    • BonBon says:

      GIN..if I could give you 10 thumbs up, I would.

  30. marjie says:

    Loved your blog-laughed a lot needed that!

  31. aquamarinecandy-o says:

    OMG this was hilarious!! Been lurking for a few days, found your blog from Lynn’s site. You have me cracking up constantly with your comments! hehe

  32. tuzentswurth says:

    Thanks RCH, loved it, my favorite was T with steam coming out of her ears b4 her head implodes. Brilliant, effing brilliant and so much more entertaining than the show itself.

  33. Katie says:

    Bravo producers should contact you because that was exponentially more entertaining than their version.

    I am disappointed you didn’t get a shot of Teresa’s face while she was trying to hear what Danielle and jac were saying. She was really concentrating hard, poor thing she must have been exhausted afterwards.

  34. Snarkella says:

    Hey RCH!
    It’s good to see you getting all the love and praise you deserve. Brilliant once again.

    I loved the captions you used for the Danielle & Jac hug-fest-pics. That scene was so awkward it was painful to watch, but as usual, your blog took a steaming pile of crap and turned it into a laugh-worthy thing of beauty.

    Thanks for making the world a better place! LOL

  35. kats2 says:

    So funny! This was the best recap and we got our lesbian love theory in there!

  36. Z0mbiemom says:

    I think I peed myself a little.

  37. Need a Hobby says:

    I only gave your blog 5 stars because I couldn’t give it any more than that. 😀

  38. Joy says:

    The BEST recap I’ve read. Thank you-thank you-thank you! I can’t decide if my favorite part was the Caroline screen-caps or the “hug heard round the world” or the sister-in-law photoshop. Perfect.

    And thank you for the screencap of the head from the duffel bag or whatever–I thought people were joking! (I didn’t get to watch–RHOC is showing here in Afghanistan…next episode is “marriage woes impact Tamra, Simon and their children. Alexa hosts a cooking party”…yeah, sad.)

  39. Squirrels says:

    I have to mention, the “click me” had me rolling!!!!!! Doesn’t get better than that.

    • Anonymous says:

      I loved that too. But my absolute favorite, snort Diet Coke out the nose, is the hug conversation! Especially the whole, when T caught us with our pants off… bwahahahahahaha

    • Tam5115 says:

      I loved that too. My favorite though was the hug conversation, especially the whole, when T caught us with our pants off… bwahahaha

      I tried posting this before but I’m on a new lappy and forgot to enter my name in first. If that ends up somewhere odd, cuz I don’t know what happened to it… it was me.

      • Tam5115 says:

        Well, there it is. Right above this one. My god, either the new wireless here at my mom’s or my lappy, is a sandwich short of a picnic. LMAO

  40. Jeana says:

    Lawzy!! Lawzy!! Awesome recap!! Your recap was worth the wait! I’m doing cartwheels while having a lollipop!

    Did anyone else notice when Dirty D walked off the set to talk with her Lady Pool friend they kept Dirty D’s, Jack-o-lantern’s, and Boss Lady’s C’s microphone on but not Turret T’s and Pansy Andy’s …theirs were off?? They were in a conversation but we could barely here it…what was that all about??

  41. BonBon says:

    Sorry, haven’t read anything here today…don;t know if anyone is aware of this.
    I am in Quasimodo mode after intense tooth and mouth surgery. No. I did not say hoof and mouth!!!!

  42. BonBon says:

    YOU ARE BRILLIANT. The Google Search sealed your fate as Housewife Blogger Laureate!

  43. humbruh says:

    Ho-ly Shit Balls (in my best Bethenny voice)! I just read this at work & I scared the crap out of my co worker when I busted out laughing! Thank you so much! After dealing with a car accident & a tornado yesterday I needed to smile =)

  44. I am in awe of what you did with that hug! If anyone ever tries to tell me that it happened any other way, I will not believe it.
    Its just that perfect, exploding Teresa & all. Thank-you for giving us the ending that we all deserved!-Instead-of the crappy mess that those poor women, (and Andy), are stuck with.

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