If The Currency In DC Is Proximity To Power, Then The Real Housewives of DC Are All Broke

The show starts with Michaele’s birthday. Her husband puts a bunch of potential presents in front of and tells her can can choose one thing as her birthday present. Bad plan. You can’t put a bunch of stuff in front of a girl and tell her to pick only one. Obviously she ended up with a pile of stuff.

She really wasn’t kidding when she said her life is like a fairy tale. What girl doesn’t always dream of getting a pony for her birthday? Michaele names her new horse Sparkle. I was curious why she doesn’t have any children. I’m beginning to think it’s because she is still is a child herself.

Lynda says that anyone who would want to be her assistant must be a mad person and that her son’s girlfriend is not that person. But she is her assistant. So… I don’t know what this woman is talking about. Moving on.

Next we see Mary who I already don’t like because of her opening line: “I don’t make money, I spend money“. Every time I hear it (which is actually only twice now) I instantly think of Ramona’s opening line “I love making my own money. I find that an aphrodisiac.” I miss New York. No other franchise can live up to them.
Mary says that she speaks to Rosa the housekeeper in Spanish because she doesn’t understand English. Judging by the look on Rosa’s face, I’d say it’s safe to assume that Rosa speaks English better than Mary speaks Spanish.

Who the hell names their daughter “Lolly”?

Cat and Mary have lunch. Cat is rude to Mary, rude to Mary’s daughter, and rude to the waiter. But I still don’t hate her yet. Although Mary might be starting to. Dagger eyes.

Stacie doesn’t have any grass in her front yard. Just just an observation.

Stacie wants to have the women over for dinner, but she doesn’t want to have to cook for them. So she is going to make her aunt do it instead. She wants to invite Cat, but her husband is not happy with the idea of the woman who dared to not like Obama and Tyra Banks being a part of their Sunday dinner. I think Stacie is trying to stay “classy” and is really hoping that Cat will pull some of her judgmental British crap and Auntie Francis will step up and give her the verbal ass whopping that Stacie wished she could have given her.

Michaele used to be a makeup artist. Mary has to add that is was at the mall. Cat and Mary think it is very funny that she used to actually work for a living. I find it funny when women who don’t work or have their own money make fun of other women for having had a job in the past. I heard that Cat used to be a hostess at a club in London that may or may not have been a strip club. So I don’t know why they are laughing at her.

Now I know why they were laughing at her.

Mary and Cat are upset that Michaele got to play dress up and they didn’t. Michaele was not in full on show clothes, she wasn’t wearing anything special, she was wearing riding pants and boots – which is what you wear when you ride a horse. I didn’t really understand what they were so upset about. Riding clothes are expensive, would they really have rather spent $1,000 on an outfit to wear just the one time?

Cat thinks it’s odd that Michaele is married to a Polo player but doesn’t ride horses. Mary thinks you shouldn’t wear proper horse back riding attire unless you know how to ride properly. I think these women are two very judgmental bitches and I dislike Mary more and more with each scene. I ride horses, and I can tell you, Mary did not “grow up riding horses”.

See Mary, I can be a nitpicky bitch too:

Tareq (who’s name I just realized I was spelling wrong in the last recap) told them all what a great job they did even though they clearly sucked. He put beer in the wine glasses as a joke. The women were not amused.

Finally Sunday dinner is here. Lynda is getting ready. She needs her assistant/son’s girlfriend to help her get dressed and go over the list of things she wants to bring with her. Is this girl a business assistant or her personal care nurse? Lynda is boring and annoying. I don’t like her.

Cat arrives at the dinner, says hello, and then says that the wine has gone bad. Lynda thinks it would have been more polite to go to the bathroom, pour it down the toilet, and pretend that you drank it.

Cat feels uncomfortable and wants to leave. But she hasn’t really caused any drama yet so Stacie really wants her to stay. Cat isn’t the most polite person in the world, but it really appears as though Stacie is looking for reasons not to like her. I like Stacie a little bit less than I did in the last episode.

Lynda’s escort agency has hit hard times because of the economy. Everyone is scaling back and luxury items are the first to go. Lynda has a picture of a pretty girl that wants to work for her, but un filed teeth are no good for BJ’s, so the girl is out.

I almost forgot, the main story line of the episode was the gay guys birthday. Some scenes are just so boring that I zone out. Anyway, it’s the night of the birthday party and Michaele and Tareq arrive to in a white limo with a police escort. The women have a problem with the fact that the limo is white. I didn’t understand that. Cat thinks white limos should stay in the 70’s along with Kelly’s feelings. Lynda not only has a problem with the color of the limo, but also the fact that there were only two people in it. I guess Lynda is under the impression that limo’s are a practical vehicle used to carry multiple people, not a luxury vehicle used for… well, luxury and showing off. She also makes a dig about them riding in limos when they owe people money. I would like to point out that they own the limo service. So arriving in a limo costs them nothing. I’m sure Lynda knows that.

Lynda explains that people in DC do not respond well to showy and flashy. …. Says the women who walks around with 7 foot tall and half her age black man on her arm and shows him off to the other women as if he were a new pair of shoes.

Micheale confronts Lynda about her comments that she has an eating disorder. Michaele was nice about it and smiled the whole time. I don’t think she likes drama or confrontation.  Lynda refuses to listen to her, talks over her, asserts her rights to freedom of speech and shit talking, then says “I’m leaving, bye bye”. In a voice over she insists that she really was legitimately concerned for Michaele’s health. I officially hate Lynda.

And with that scene the second episode of DC ends and all I can think is “When is RHONY coming back?

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10 Responses to If The Currency In DC Is Proximity To Power, Then The Real Housewives of DC Are All Broke

  1. b.l.r. says:

    I love your commentary. I get such a kick out of it and yes, mostly agree with you on points taken. Only issue where I disagree is with Cat. Clearly, this narcicisst has no manners, no grace and no diplomacy. Other than that, she’s totally entertaining and bitchy enough to make this franchise interesting enough to continue watching.
    LOL at “the escort business” and the reason for filing the teeth off of the model. Strangely enough, I have a soft spot in my heart for Michaele. Don’t know why, but she really has not offended me yet. She actually seems rather soft compared to most of the others.

  2. I think Cat doesn’t bother me because I tend to appreciate people who say whats on their mind and don’t hold back. I’m not easily offended, and good or bad, at least you always know where you stand with people like that. The wine situation really didn’t bother me because sometimes wine goes bad. It happens. It’s a fact. I have actually been in this situation before at my own dinner party. The wine had indeed gone bad. I poured it down the drain and opened another bottle. No big deal. Cat is definitely lacking in tact, but you can’t expect your guests to drink wine that’s gone bad. But on the other hand, if the wine hadn’t gone bad an was just not an expensive bottle then Cat was being a bitch.

    I also like Michaele. She’s just always so happy and overly excited about everything. She’s sort of like a kid. I haven’t found a reason to dislike her yet either. And showy/flashy doesn’t bother me. If you have it, why not take advantage of it and enjoy it? Believe me, if I had the money and the means, I’d take a police escort to the grocery store. No red lights!

  3. Northeastgurl says:

    As always you’re dead on with your observations, however, if Mary likes to pump money into the economy, isn’t that a good thing?Yeah, the comment is off putting but maybe not a bad thing. Just a thought 🙂 anyway, as always love you reading your thoughts!!

    • I don’t have a problem with her spending money at all.
      It’s just the line that I don’t like. She might as well have said “I’m too pretty to work”.
      Michaele and her husband drive around in limos. It doesn’t bother me. But if her opening line was “I don’t drive, I get driven” then it would annoy me.
      You know what I mean?

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  5. flights rhodes says:

    ahhhhhh very good, bookmarked 🙂 keep it up, JusyKassy.

  6. Snarkella says:

    Real City Housewife I love you! Please keep writing. Your observations are right on the money and hilarious.

  7. NotAHousewife says:

    Had to say as a fellow equestrian your comments about Mary’s equitation or complete lack there of, were hilarious.

    • Lol. It annoys the crap out me when people claim to be riders. I have friends who do it and it’s so annoying. They take go on hour long trail rides in western saddles for fun every couple of months and then and claim they “ride”.

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