I Got An Early Copy of Kelly’s New Book: The Skinny Girl’s Guide to Staying Naturally Healthful

My friend who works at a publishing company got an early copy of Kelly’s new book and passed it along to me. Because I am so charitable, I put it here on my blog so all of you can read it for free.

The Skinny Girl’s Guide to Staying Naturally Healthful
By
KELLY BENSIMON**

Dedication:
Suck it Bethanny Frankel

Special Thanks:
To my amazing authentic beautiful daughters who spell checked this book for me.

Chapter One: Staying Healthful

I like to use the word healthful instead of healthy because I am original and authentic like that. In order to stay healthful you need to eat right and exercise. Exercise is a great way to clear your mind and keep the voices away. I like to run. But just to be clear, I am a JOGGER, not a runner. Please don’t confuse the two. In this book I will explain exactly how you can be healthful just like me. I will give you my exercise plan and lay out a healthful eating plan for you to follow. Staying healthful is cool and fun. I am really proud to have written this book. Let’s all get fit together!

Chapter Two: Excercise

Here is a really simple exercise plan that you can follow every day to keep yourself healthful:
1 – Run through traffic for 3 hours
2 – Go to private stable and ride your show horse for 1 hour
3- Go to personal gym in guest house and lift weight, do push ups, sit ups, a few squats, and some lunges.
4 – Do elliptical for 30 minutes
5 – Go for another 3 hour run
6 – Do a head stand
This simple exercise plan is perfect for busy single working moms like me. Follow this plan and your body can look just like mine in no time! Yay! Excercise is fun! Get ready for my workout video coming soon. Who likes squats and head stands?

Chapter Three: Eating Healthfully

The second part of being healthful is eating healthfully. Here I have layed out my eating plan, so that you can follow along and eat what I eat. And always remember, when choosing a restaurant for dinner, try to choose one that let’s you color with crayons at the table. That way you can be creative while you stay fit. Let’s eat together. Yay!

the kkb diet is am: two oranges, lunch: veggies, brown rice, and tofu with any sauce, dinner: 2 chicken breasts/salad. 7 day: off.

all the interns at the MET love the kkb diet. Its easy, keeps you lean, and you get one day of funnn

the trick to staying healthful and lean is eating light at dinner.

yummy club sandwich

Ate a delish pasta meal at carmines with @GiulianaRancic. Carbo loading/ eat pray love a little, too

Dinner at le cirque was off the food charts. My fav; duck and chocolate puff pastry. Beyond

Eating a KIND bar. Almond and coconut.

Eating popcorn with ted

Getting icecream from mr. Softee with teddy. Yummmmmmmmm

cofffeeeee at starbucks

Eating chicken wings, caesar salad and drinking beer. U?

I loveeeeeee iittttt. Jellybeans are sooo delicious

The bbc’s are so yummy. Eating their fried calamari.

Eating jellybeans and watching mtv cribs.u?

starbucks carries jellybeans. Woooo. Going to get one now

At FRESCOS for the best pizza ever.

i love to mix all the jellybeans together. i just wish they were healthy

dinner at my fav rest tortilla flats. love you guysss at tortilla.

for lunch a chicken sandwich from johnny rocketts

a cook is someone who enjoys cooking, a chef is defined as someone who runs a restaurant. Drop it

bobby flay fried chicken is unreal. I want to take some home

for snacks I like chips/ salsa, popcorn, olives, dried blueberries. Lunch is usually hearty and hefty

at starbucks i like iced venti soy chai lattes, or soy green tea lattes

Watching katy perry/snoop dog vid. I love it lollys and candy everywhere!!!

nichols has the best wings in the hamptons

blueberry pies with pancake mix crust

Who want starbucks

making pizza with kidlets

Turtle Crossing for the best ribs and chicken in East hampton.

i wish jellybelly made flavored gum. that would be delicious and not so fattyyyyyyyyy

I have always been incredibly fit and active all my life. I think I know a little bit about eating well.

Chapter Four: Examples of What Not To Do

A perfect example of what not to do, is do not follow Bethanny’s book. She is a writer not an author. It’s creepy, and you can’t trust anything she says. She is not authentic like me.
Because I like pictures so much, I drew a picture diagram of what not to do:

The End. Byeeeeee!!!!

** Disclaimer: Kelly Bensimon did not actually write this book. Please don’t sue me. Chapter two is based on her tweets, and chapter three is her actual tweets from her twitter page.

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19 Responses to I Got An Early Copy of Kelly’s New Book: The Skinny Girl’s Guide to Staying Naturally Healthful

  1. Squirrels says:

    Love, love, love it. I can’t wait to try the binge and purge technique I found in the appendix.

    Thanks Kelly. Now, can you advise me on how to not destroy the enamel on my teeth?

  2. TrueLifeDiva says:

    Her gnarly figure and hagard face give me nightmares. Her cartwheels on the beach have a theme song, “Dude looks like a lady” by Aerosmith.

  3. boston02127 says:

    Love it! Thanks for the LOL.

  4. Dani says:

    I love this. The woman has one ugly body. I can’t believe that she wears a bikini.

  5. Haha. The oddest part about it is that she is PROUD of her body.
    I’ve known some women who have taken steroids to stay thin. I wouldn’t be surprised if those are the “vitamins” she twitters about.

    • Tam5115 says:

      I’m sure she works hard to have that body too. How sad. It’s a creepy body.

      But then, she can eat jelly beans and gum berries even though she doesn’t eat processed foods… and for God’s sake! she will wear fur when she wants to. Cuz you know, being authentic and all, contradicting yourself is not a big deal.

      Chick is looney tunes for real.

  6. ClaraBear says:

    What an amazing and authentic book. Thanks for sharing! Lol.

  7. MidwestHousewife says:

    Hahahah. I just choked on my food! And after those photos I think I lost my appetite. Now there is a weight loss plan!

  8. @twilighttwitti says:

    Kelly just encouraged me to go out to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner and have jelly beans beans for dessert. What a healthful way to start my diet plan. I do think Kelly stands on her head a bit too much, you think?

  9. jezzibel says:

    OMG…thats hilarious

  10. OMG! I loved that last picture

  11. Pingback: Twitted by vada_marie

  12. anniieee says:

    Catching up on all your blogs. You are so funny. This stuff is amazing…and I remember all the tweets and her “healthful diet.” She is suffering from some sort of mental disorder. I used to think asperger’s or ADHD, now I think it just a very LOW IQ, coupled with drug abuse.

    • I stopped trying to figure out what is wrong with her a while ago. I give up. But I would LOVE to know if anyone ever find out! If she ever gets her own reality show, it should be a show about her locked in an observation room while a team of doctors and scientists try to figure out what is wrong with her.

  13. Monica says:

    She could pass for Iggy Pop.

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