The Danielle Staub Show – Christine Gets A Sweet 16 and Ashley Gets A Court Summons

The show hasn’t even started yet and already one of the Giudice’s is saying something idiotic. Joes wants to know why there is a rip in a the monopoly board. I can’t tell if he was joking or not. I really hope that this is just his lame sense of humor and he didn’t really think the board was ripped.

Teresa gives her daughters lessons on the importance of material possessions.

Teresa says that if she doesn’t get something big for their anniversary, she isn’t gonna sleep with Joe for a month. I’m not sure if she considers that to be a punishment, or his anniversary gift. How can I get in touch with Joe? Because I would like to let him know that there are some hookers on the corner downtown who have more beauty and class in their platform heels than Teresa has in her entire body and they only cost about 50 bucks a night.

Christine is planning a sweet 16. Some people were talking shit online saying that she put up fliers around school advertising her party and that’s why there were so many people there. I, for one, fail to see what is wrong with this. Especially since it was for charity. When I was in high school a lot of people advertised their parties like that. It was a great way to make sure a lot of people show up and no one is left out.

The dog is walking on the table. Gross!

Does Caroline ever leave her kitchen? Or that corner?

Jacqueline is defending Kim G – the woman who testified in court against her daughter. And according to her twitter yesterday, she is still on good terms with her. Is Jacqueline stupid, disloyal, or does she just poses a Jesus Christ-like ability to forgive? I can’t tell. The scene would not be complete without some talk about Danielle, and the hair pull, and the same things they already talked about in the last episode, and the one before that.

Joe tells Chris that he is having financial problems. But since he already planned to file for bankruptcy, he figured he might as well throw in a helicopter ride, a hotel room, and a diamond ring before filing the papers. Hey, why not?

This broad doesn’t know what the crown jewels are! You know what would be a good way for Teresa to earn some extra cash? She should sue the New Jersey school system for completely and utterly failing  her, and use The Real Housewives tapes as evidence. I don’t think it’s cute or funny that she doesn’t know what the crown jewels are. That level of ignorance is disturbing.

I can not be bothered to take screen shots of Albie’s scenes. Why does this kid have a story line? One episode was enough, why are we still talking about him? Oh, right, because his mother is boring and has no life or identity of her own. Fast forward through this scene.

OMG I do this too! Mini marshmallows in chocolate sauce! But I like to crush up some graham cracker pie crust too. I dip the marshmallows in the chocolate sauce and then press them into the crumbs. Soooo good!

This was a sweet moment. Jillian gets insecure and doesn’t want to sing, but Danielle believes in her and pushes her to work through her fears and do it anyway. For all the faults Danielle has, and all the crazy things she does and says in front of her daughters, she really loves them, and believes in them, and supports them 100%. And I believe that is one of the most important things you can do when it comes to being a parent. And in that respect, I think Danielle is a good mom. She talks to her daughters with respect and admiration and love. And I think that makes up for a lot of the crazy they are exposed to.

Teresa wants Joe to describe in words how happy he is. I think facial expressions and body language speak louder than words.

I don’t know why tv shows always make it seem like helicopter rides are so romantic. They are fun, but they are loud and not something I would want to do in a cocktail dress.

I didn’t see that ring on the auction list.

Teresa said she was surprised that Joe got her a present like that – you know, with the money laundering, fraud and bankruptcy economy and all.
I don’t know how she could be surprised with all the begging, pleading, and threats she made about getting “something big”. I doubt Joe has that kind of taste in jewelry. I wouldn’t be surprised if she dragged him down to the jewelry store, pointed at that ring, and said “THAT is what you owe me for 10 years and 4 children! Buy it for me or you will be sorry!”

Teresa says: “Everyone has eyes – what was it? The eyes is the – love is in the eyes of the beholder.” What a fucking moron.

I thought the dog walking around on the table was the grossest things we would see this episode. I was wrong.

Caroline’s kids again – fast forward

Danielle says she wants to wear the engagement ring from her ex husband because it is just a nice piece of jewelry and this is a fancy event. But really, she just wants to show off in front of his new wife who’s ring is not as big. I think that Danielle needs a man that wants to take care of her, pamper her, and will maybe play a bit of a daddy role in her life. If she got that, I think it would really change the way she behaves in a lot of situations.

Trashley is trying to popularize the smurf look.

Or maybe she is trying to popularize the golden girls look?

Jac tries to act like a parent and teach Trashley a lesson. Let it go Jac. It’s too late. If you still have to parent, teach lessons, and explain right from wrong to your adult child, then you have already failed and need to just give up, do not pass go, game over. /Fail.

Trashley thinks being charged with a crime is exciting. She also demonstrates for us her extensive knowledge of the justice system and the way counter suits work.

Danielle states that since the birthday party was for charity, everything was donated and she didn’t have to pay for any of it. Sneaky! And smart! Now I know where Christine “came up with” the idea to make her birthday a charity event.
Danielle’s dress is amazing. I hope she actually kept this one and didn’t return it to Neiman Marcus the next day.

We finally get to see the mysterious Mr. Staub. Ok. He looks normal enough. No drama here. Not impressed. Moving on.

They all look really beautiful here. Danielle’s pride in her daughters boarders on obnoxious at times, but it must be nice for the girls to have a mother who is so proud of every little thing they do.

Court date / Trashley is an immature brat / Jac and Chris suck at parenting / Danielle, Danielle, Danielle, bla bla bla / enough said about this scene.

Jacqueline got her period and cried on camera.

The End.

We actually made it through this episode with very little drama and Teresa managed an entire episode without mentioning Danielle’s name. I guess she didn’t really need Danielle in order to make herself relevant in this episode though. I think most of us were happy enough watching Teresa beg for gifts she knew they couldn’t afford, fail at speaking English, and generally making an utter ass out of herself. Next week we get to see her throw another ridiculously expensive party that she doesn’t have the money to pay for. We also get to see Kim and Danielle’s big fight. Bad move on Kim’s part in my opinion. Bravo has enough people on Team Manzo. What they need is a wife who is willing to film with Danielle, someone who can be a bridge between the women. I think Kim most likely killed what little chance she had of becoming a housewife when she ended the friendship with Danielle. But I guess we will just have to watch what happens.

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This entry was posted in Ashley Holmes, Caroline Manzo, Danielle Staub, Dina Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, Kim G, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Recaps, Teresa Giudice, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to The Danielle Staub Show – Christine Gets A Sweet 16 and Ashley Gets A Court Summons

  1. Christine says:

    Agree 1000%.

  2. ReadingInDetroit says:

    Christine,
    Happy Birthday! You had a lovely party and your dresses were beautiful!

    Jillian did a great job on her song! She looked so sweet in her dress.

    I am glad your father and step-mother were able to attend, you must have been thrilled to see them. That was great.

    Your mother looked beautiful in her dress and I am glad it all went so well for you.

  3. ReadingInDetroit says:

    Ashley,

    You are just proving why it was so difficult for you to finish high school…through summer school. You do idiotic things on each episode and now you’ve gotten violent. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t cute and you deserve the summons you received and the judgment of guilty of simple assault.

    Maybe you can laugh at these things now, but it will follow you in college if you ever are accepted anyplace, on your jobs, throughout your life, but apparently you have no concern over any of that. Men you want to date or to marry, are not going to want someone with a record, or someone that sleeps around.

    Your parents and Aunt Caroline have all given you good advise, and since you take none of it, good luck in your life. You’re off to a bad start and nothing to be proud of.

  4. Really good sharing this.

  5. ShyAsrai says:

    Danielle’s daughters looked just completely gorgeous at the Sweet 16 party. Especially important is that they were both dressed age-appropriately.

  6. Skiniaguviali says:

    Hi,

    i’m new here, and just want to say hello!

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  7. Ok hi ashley i felt so bad for you at the beging of this season stop bringing up danielle shes not heare anymore my god ashley? when i get back on facebook im gonna say something unbeweavable about u bye oh and happy birthday and congtrats don’t u ever pull hair again u was being stupid so please respect your parents?

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