We are finally at the conclusion of this epic reunion.
The show starts and Humpty Dumpty is walking off the stage, Bethanny is going off and making fun of Kelly and the insane things she says. Countless laughed out loud. She covered her mouth and tried to remain classy but it was just too funny and she couldn’t control herself. I don’t hate her as much as I used to anymore.
I was hoping that Kelly walked off the stage and got into the van that was waiting to take her back to her bed at Bellvue, but unfortunately that was not the case and she returned to the stage, sat back down and continued to deny reality and fail at making sense.
I like Sonja. But she tries too hard to stay neutral and it’s annoying.
The women finally confirm the rumors we’ve been hearing for some time now that Kelly was escorted off the island and back home by a producer.
Kelly says something honest and admits that Sonja wasn’t bullying her on the trip and that she was hanging out with her the whole time. Not even one minute later she accused Sonja of being drunk during the entire trip and not knowing what was going on. Then she tells Ramona that her blood type is Pinot Grigio and I know that there is no way this moron came up with that line on her own.
Kelly sticks to her “breakthrough” version of things. The women really tried to call her out and hold her accountable, but she was in Kellyland participating in another conversation with unicorns and talking gummy bears. Rarely were her answers responses to the actual question asked. Andy seemed to be defending her a bit and was definitely taking it way too easy on her. I can only assume this is because he doesn’t want the legal responsibility for what may happen if they push Kelly too far and make her snap.
The Kelly conversation is pointless and everyone realises that nothing is going to be resolved so they move onto Jill’s surprise visit to Scary Island.
Jill continues to just not “get it” and tells Ramona that she should have at least offered her or Bobby a drink of water or to use the bathroom. LOL. Jill is grasping at straws looking for a way to make herself the victim in this situation and I guess this was the best she could come up with.
Ramona really lets Jill have it. She screams. She stomps her foot. She tells her what she did wrong, and why it was wrong, and what she should have done instead. This was a perfect opportunity for Jill to learn something about herself, and maybe understand why her actions that day upset the women so much. Instead Jill demands to see the tapes. But she just saw the tapes. They literally just played them. Not only that, but they showed her reaction to them in a little corner on the side of the screen:
So not only can Jill be shown the tapes, but she can be shown her reaction to the tapes. Ramona was so right when she said Jill doesn’t get it, and after this reunion I think it’s clear that she probably never will.
Jill explains that the reason why she had to come to Scary Island to apologize to B instead of going to her apartment a block away in New York is because she was trying to show the lengths she would go to for an apology. The dramatics are really never ending with this woman.
Jill truly does not understand what she could have done to be more humble. Apparently walking in and yelling “Hiiiiiii. Surpriiiiiiise. We’re here! Ramona we came to surprise you!” is the most humble Jill Zarin is capable of being, and she doesn’t see anything wrong with that.
Then just when I think I couldn’t possibly hate Jill anymore than I already do, she defends Kelly and her “bully” story. She says that she felt the negativity on the trip and she understands what Kelly had been feeling. Not only that, but it was mostly Alex’s fault. Lol. This woman is truly unbelievable.
(Off topic: While they are talking Kelly will not stop playing with her hair and I want to slap her.)
Then after denying she did anything wrong, and saying how the women were mean to her and that she is a victim, she is now apologizing.
Then Jill says that she forgot that Ramona hates surprises, because she remembers that Ramona freaks if someone brings an extra guest to a dinner party. Huh?
Jill is trying so hard to act devastated over her exile from the island. Even though she just apologized, she decides to now go back to feeling sorry for herself and playing the innocent victim. She is trying to make it look as though its all “just too much” for her to deal with, she was traumatized once and forcing her to relive that awful moment it is like being traumatized all over again. She asks if they can move on, but she doesn’t really want to move on, she just wants it to look like she wants to move on. She really wants to keep talking about herself and was counting on the women sticking to the subject despite her protests.
But they don’t. They move on.
Kelly starts going off on some rant about who knows what. They are talking about Kelly’s breakdown again. They are all focusing on Kelly and trying to understand what she is saying and Jill starts panicking because the spot light isn’t on her anymore so she reaches her arm in front of Kelly to grab LuAnn’s hand. And then interrupts the conversation that had nothing to do with her to say how devastated she is and that she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. But she was the only one talking about it at that point.
LuAnn was uncharacteristically honest for a moment while discussing her marriage. It was nice to see, but short lived as she quickly returned to her land of pretension and denial while explaining why she still uses her “title”.
She explains that she gets to keep her title as a courtesy until she gets remarried. But I looked into it, and here is how it works: she is no longer a countess. As a courtesy she gets to use the title in her name, but instead of being Countess LuAnn DeLesseps, her title will now be changed to LuAnn Countess DeLesseps. It is only a courtesy title, not a real title. (As though “Countess” was ever a real title to anyone except her in the first place.)
Now we are back to Kelly and calling her out on her contradictions. She is a walking contradiction and doesn’t see a problem with that. Kelly defends her ability to wear fur and support PETA by explaining that in her mind they are two totally different things, so she is therefor capable of both supporting PETA and wearing fur. So glad she finally cleared that up for us.
But through all her gibberish, she did say something interesting: She said that she doesn’t pay attention to the conversation when people are talking. She turns the volume down, then turns it back up and jumps into the conversation – which may explain why Kelly rarely seems to know whats going on around her. I think Kelly should be examined by scientists, because she is claiming to have some super human ability to close her ears the way the rest of us close our eyes. But I imagine that what’s going on with Kelly is probably more along the lines of this:
Kelly then says that the women are unpredictable, and that means that they are dangerous. But then says that she doesn’t think they are dangerous, she just thinks they are unpredictable and unpredictability leads to danger. Bethanny is laughing.
Kelly says that she did playboy so that she can give a healthy image to her girls. Yes, that is just what all young girls need in order to have a healthy body image – a naked picture of their mother wearing bunny ears. The conversation then naturally turns to the season one controversy over Alex’s naked pictures and Jill takes the opportunity to jump all over her and try to make her look as bad as possible. The hatred Jill has for Alex is written all over her face. She really can’t stand her. And the fact that she is friends with Bethanny on top of it all is just killing her inside. Jill is attacking Alex, but unlike last time she is alone in her attacks, Ramona is sitting next to Alex and she isn’t running away and no one seems to care about being naked in front of a camera anymore. Jill so so furious. It’s funny.
The conversation moves back to Kelly because talking to her is like interacting with a newly discovered tribe of pygmy natives deep in the rainforest; although we can’t understand her, we are interested and curious. She is asked a question about dating, and answers it as though there is a man in the world who would want to date her after this season aired. Although I did hear that the man that sits on the bench in Central Park and yells at invisible people is single so there may be hope for her yet.
The reunion is finally coming to a close and Andy want to go around the room and ask the women if they want to come back for another season.
Bethanny isn’t sure if she is coming back. I think she probably wants to see how well her new show does, and possibly use her influence at Bravo to get rid of Kelly – and I hope she does.
Ramona, Alex, and Sonja want to come back. LuAnn, annoying as always, can’t just admit that she wants more than anything in the world to come back and says “We’ll see”.
Kelly starts going off about how this show changed her for the better and I can’t listen to this nonsense so I turn her volume down to a 1.
I turn the volume back up in time to hear Jill’s answer. But she can’t give a definite answer yet because she wants to see how her summer of publicity stunts, attempts at gaining public sympathy, and mission to destroy Alex’s life plays out first.
The show ends with Jill hugging Bethanny. Jill’s only goal during this reunion was to make up with Bethanny. She failed. But at least she got a hug out of it to hopefully make viewers think there is a chance they will reconcile. And I might have actually believed there was a chance if not for the nasty things Jill has been saying on the internet.
I can’t wait for next week to see the lost footage episode. I’m crossing my fingers and hoping they show more of Kelly’s breakdown breakthrough.