Bethenny Ever After ~ Episode 4

The show starts and Bethenny is complaining. Shocker. Today she is upset because the fridge isn’t organized and Gina has too much food in there. Bethenny calls Gina a wolf like 10 times. I don’t even know if that was offensive or not because I don’t understand what that’s supposed to mean. It seemed like an odd thing to call someone.

Bryn will be crawling soon so Bethenny invites a baby proofing expert over to the house. She was probably expecting to buy some plugs for the sockets and call it a day, but the woman went around the house telling her how deadly and dangerous everything is. She tells Bethenny that she needs to get rid of the cable box, the house phone, the lamp, and the center piece on the table, and should block off her kitchen with iron bars, a padlocked entrance, and an alarm system because babies should never ever be allowed in the kitchen. I bet half of you had no idea what horrible dangerous parents you were until now. See what kind of valuable information you can learn by watching reality television?
When I was a kid I played with pots and pans and climbed on furniture so I guess it’s truly a miracle that I’m still alive today.

Bethenny decides to get rid of all her slutty lingerie because now that she has Jason locked down with a marriage certificate and a baby she see’s no need to keep things fun or interesting in the bedroom. And because she is such a good person, she donates her used underwear to Gina’s church.

Gina invites Bethenny and Jason to attend a ceremony at her church to receive a blessing for Bryn. They agree to go, but were caught off guard when the church members ambushed them with a sneak attack baptism. I suspect that Gina wanted to feel important at her church by bringing these famous people to have their child baptised there on national television, and she figured she could get away with it by insisting it was just a blessing. I guess a baptism technically is a blessing, but it’s also a baptism. I don’t know how Gina could continue to deny it even after the woman on the microphone clearly said they were “baptizing her into the church of Jesus Christ”. Gina is a sneaky little liar and I think it’s time they kick her ass to the curb.

Although… the so called Bishop was wearing a Rabbi’s robes with pictures of a Sabbath dinner on the back, so maybe they’re all just a little confused over there.

Because Bethenny likes to discuss everything to death, now we have to talk about the baptism incident for the rest of the show. She discusses it with Jason, she discusses it with Jason and Gina, she discusses it with her therapist, and we get to hear the same story over and over about how it made her feel which of course leads to a discussion about her mother never being there for her, ever. Not even when she had chicken pox. Did you know that Bethenny had a horrible mother who didn’t love her? Did you know that? Did ya? Did ya? Bad things happen in life. It sucks. But Bethenny is 40 years old now, she seriously needs to learn how to move the fuck on.

Bethenny and Jason are getting ready for Halloween. They went to the costume store and tried on a some clown outfits that were pretty funny, but in the end decided to go with the stupidest Halloween costumes ever. Pandas. For both of them. They both wore the exact same costume. So lame.
Bethenny explained that even though her and Jason wanted to be clowns, they’re a family now which means they have to be pandas. I think her Skinny Girl diet might be affecting her brain because that made no sense. Bethenny was acting like this holiday was all about Bryn and what Bryn wants, but I think it was pretty clear that the entire thing was about Bethenny and what she wanted for her tv show and her paparazzi photo op. Babies don’t care about Halloween!

I don’t know if Bethenny was drunk or high or what at the costume store, but her behavior was very odd. She was shouting in a baby voice the whole time which was annoying enough, but when she took a flying leap into the sales ladie’s arms I was done. It was nice that she was being less of a bitch in this episode, but her behavior was just so freakin odd.
Look at the faces of the guys in the background.

Bethenny decided to play a prank on Gina with a fake spider and I love that she chose the Teresa Giudice “Betrayed by her man” Life & Style issue to do it with.

Bethenny and Jason decide to go trick-or-treating in the suburbs with their friends and do the whole “family Halloween” thing. Is it weird that I still don’t see Bethenny as a mom? I still see her as the same single girl she always was, except now she has a new assistant named Jason to follow her around and she sometimes holds a baby in place of her Birkin bag.

Since Bryn was already baptized in Gina’s church, Bethenny and Jason decide to give her a Catholic baptism as well. Bethenny choses her assistant Julie as a Godmother because she has no relatives, and I guess no real friends either. Bethenny says that Julie knew about Bryn before anyone else did. But I don’t think that’s true… I think the camera man who filmed Bethenny peeing on a stick where the first one to know about the pregnancy.

So they get Bryn baptised in an empty church with a priest who can’t remember Bethenny’s name. And they literally invited 8 people. The Godparents, grandparents, and the baby nurse. That was it. Isn’t a baptism something you’re supposed to invite your friends to? I don’t get Bethenny. She didn’t want a lot of people at the wedding, she never wants anyone to come over the house (unless they work for her), she didn’t want anyone at the baptism… but employees, camera crews, sound techs, and producers are all allowed. So it makes me wonder if she really did the baptism for Jason, or if she did it so she would have something to film for her tv show.

Afterwards they go out to eat in a big empty room. This is seriously the lamest baptism I’ve ever seen. It almost makes me miss the days of Marie Antoinette serving sushi. Jason’s mother kept fussing with Bryn while she was sleeping and Bethenny Ssshhh‘d her! I can’t imagine telling my mother in law (or any older woman, really) to ssshhhh. Great party B, sit around an empty table and be quiet. Sounds like a blast.

This episode was a little better than the others, but I’m still not loving Bethenny this season. What do you guys think? Do you still love B or is her bad attitude getting on your nerves? And what about what happened at Gina’s church? Was that a baptism or just a non baptismal blessing with water?

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134 Responses to Bethenny Ever After ~ Episode 4

  1. Breadlover says:

    Yeah, I agree with you. I just read all three of your recaps and they’re right on the money. I don’t look forward to her show like last year; this year she’s so brittle and such a bitch. I don’t think she’s ever really ‘real’ except when she’s whining about her pathetic life growing up. There’s a lot of people that came from real physical and mental abuse and left that legacy behind. Bethenny doesn’t want to. She wants to wallow in it to gain sympathy and to excuse her lack of personal skills. The pity train left the station last year, this year should have been a continuum of happy family moments and living a decent life. I’m so over the angst of having it all.

    • mIl says:

      You are right on the money!!!

    • Anonymous says:

      Bethany is an elitist bitch who’s fifteen minutes of fame should be over……by the way, her marriage will last about 15 MORE minutes if she continues to treat Jason as a doormat……she needs to GO AWAY….

    • Tuzentswurth Vanderbilt-Carnegie says:

      Breadlover, well put and so true. B is way too self-absorbed to have been very neglected. I doubt Brynn will remember that B looked out for her at age 5 months. B has a looooong way to go before she is declared mother of the year. I don’t see B putting someone else first for the long haul, let’s say the next 20+ years. It already appears that she was over breastfeeding long ago after she gained some notoriety and sponsorships…and had important places to travel to for her career. Now if Brynn whimpers, B hands her off very quickly. B wants all her paid help that depend on her money to be her friends, be at her house all the time and they are all “family”. I don’t get why she is so against Jason’s parents….actual family and Brynn’s grandparents being at her house??? Oh, they are not the underdogs.

      • Yeah that kinda bothers me too. She doesn’t like Jason’s parents being at the house, but she has Julie and that awful nurse there 24/7 and calls them family, but she doesn’t want the real family there. Then she cries in therapy that she never had a mother around, now she has the worlds best mother in law and wants nothing to do with her except on every other holiday.
        Honestly, I think her problem with Jason’s parents are mostly Jason’s fault. I’ve dated mamma’s boys, so I kinda get it. Even if the mother is ok, when the son is up her ass constantly it’s annoying and it makes you annoyed with her even if it’s not her fault. BUT I don’t like the way Bethenny treats Jason’s mom or speaks to her. So I kinda see both sides… but idk… After all the complaining she did about being alone and not having a family, now it’s like- HELLO?! U want a family or not?? It’s starting to look like she just enjoys complaining and getting sympathy from people.

        • Tuzentswurth Vanderbilt-Carnegie says:

          Yes b/c she has said how her 1st husband’s family was like her own family & they were so close blah, blah, blah, blah….yet J’s family has been very cordial to her and she can’t get far enough away. She is boring me with her inconsistencies, I’m starting to not believe anything she says, I think she is just full of $hit.

        • Anonymous says:

          You’re right about Bethenny and her MIL. I’d trade mine forBethennys any day of the week. She wont know what she has ’till its gone!

        • Distressed says:

          I think it’s okay for Bethenny to not want them around that much. That’s her choice, but if she experienced a lonely childhood with an unstable and frenetic, at best, mother then how can she deny the kid a great relationship with the grands? Not why, would she, but how, could she.

          This is why Bethenny is always talking about how she never had a family. She never got over it.

          Sad for everyone, but the kid will be the one to pay for this if Bethenny truly does what comes natural when she alienates the Hoppy’s from Bryn’s life for good.

        • Anonymous says:

          This is the first time I’ve read your BEA blog and I’m soooo happy I’m not alone in my thinking. Betheny’s “woe is me” attitude about her childhood is overkill. I had a bad childhood, alcoholic mother whom I don’t recall EVER having even one conversation with! and not a soul knows about it. Birthdays…..nothing….Christmas….not at our house….a “good job” for straight A’s….you must be kidding?! But, you know what, she got a little better with age and spent long stretches of time with me and my family when she got older. I was always the respectful, generous, considerate, loving daughter that I felt I should be, and now that she’s gone I feel proud of the way I handled our relationship.

  2. humbruh says:

    The bitchiness is seriously pissing me off, though I am not ready to completely write her off like I did Jill. My mom has been a foster parent for 24 years so I get how abuse can screw a person up in adulthood, but at some point you have to let go of the past & live life. Be conscious of what you went through B but only to the point of making an effort not to repeat the same mistakes. I really think that she figured she’d continue with the snark to “give the people what they want” but never expected it to come across the way it has. It’s not cute when it’s aimed at sweet Carol or Nick. I would rather have an hours worth of scenes like those related to Holloween than the shhushing of the mil.

    I agree that Gina needs to go. When one utters the words “baptism” it is just that: a baptism. I can’t blame them one bit for freaking out. I’ve seen blessings done in the baptist as well as other church denominations & that was beyond a blessing. I think Gina was trying to score major points with the folks at her church & she got busted trying to pull a fast one. I think the fame is starting to go to her head, she’s taking advantage of the situation (I’m not buying the husband story), and she needs to go.

    What happened to all the friends who were there for B’s bachelorette party? Wasn’t one of them her maid of honor & longtime friend? Was she not qualified enough to be the Godmother? You may be on to something with the thought that B doesn’t think it’s as big a deal as it is & Julie got the job cause she is there every day.

    • Tuzentswurth Vanderbilt-Carnegie says:

      I get the impression that a lot of the neglect that B speaks of is her anger at being sent off to expensive boarding schools rather than having a nurturing mother that she lived at home with. I don’t see B being much of a susie-homemaker either.

      • Isn’t she a professional chef? We never see her cook. I love cooking and I’m always in the kitchen trying new things and making experiments. Lol. I think I said in my recap; for a natural foods chef she eats a lot of unhealthy non homemade food. I’m very into the natural food thing and I always prefer to eat my home cooked farmers market food than in a restaurant.
        But I did try B’s Mac & Cheese recipe and it’s sooo good.

    • Distressed says:

      I know, I know.

      Jill – yes.
      Ramona et al – yes please.
      Max – I’m still okay with this one.
      Nick – starting to really look mean and totally creeping me out.
      Carol – now you’ve gone way over the line Bethenny.

      I know it was just a shhhhh, but c’mon. Did you see the table seatings? That was cruel The godmother needs to be seated in between Bob and Carol otherwise they can never get enough of their little superstar.

      I thought that too about the maid of honor. A lot doesn’t add up with our lovely, yet gaunt skinnygirl.

  3. ImaJillHater2 says:

    I believe the ENTIRE show is completely contrived by Bethenny & Bravo. I don’t believe anything we’re seeing is real – the issues about how often to see the grandparents, Max’s firing, visiting Gina’s church & the ‘non-baptism’ baptism, the schticky scene at the costume store, etc, etc, etc…

    I think this “reality” show is about as real as “The Hills”.

    That said, I did love the dig at Teresa by using the “Betrayed by her Man” magazine cover – very clever!

    • Tracy without an E says:

      Liking “The Hills” comparison – that IS what it feels like. Yeah, this season isn’t doing it for me either and I’m beginning to not like B as much. :(

    • I think certain things on the show are contrived. Most if not all reality shows are contrived in some ways. I don’t really think that there is any “drama” with the inlaws, I think it is just for TV. I am not so sure that the Christening was real either. Some of these events are just for the show. Last year on BGM, Bethenny had a baby shower after Bryn was born. That was a made for TV baby shower. Bethenny had her real baby shower before Bryn was born and it wasn’t filmed.

      Bethenny has stated several times that she is a loner and that she doesn’t have many friends. It is not a surprise at all that she didn’t have any friends at the (made for TV?) Christening.

      • Tuzentswurth Vanderbilt-Carnegie says:

        Too bad they didn’t get a priest that called the ladies Bethenny and Julie rather than Brittany and Judy. LOL

      • Bea from NJ (@sweeetbea on Twitter) says:

        I didn’t see an issue with the Christening being just family, my family does the same. It was a lovely ceremony w/those closest and very comical priest (loved him).

        • I can understand it being just family when you have a big family. But when just family = 2 people (Grandparents) then it’s a little different. Plus B lost the right to say “just family” when she invited the baby nurse show shouldn’t even still be working for them and the camera crews. If I were B’s friend I would be offended.

  4. Sairah says:

    Not loving bethenny at all this season. (if I’m honest my love of her started to fade toward the end of last season.) I’m soooooooo over her mommy issues.

    Listen bethenny-I grew up with an abusive alcoholic/addict mother and an absent father-yes I acted out for a while but I decided to learn to forgive and let go so that I could have a life that was about me & not my mother’s mistakes. I am *gasp* happy and a present & loving mother.

    It grates on my last nerve to hear her bellyache about the injustices of her life & her shithead mom…guess what happened in spite of that childhood? Yes-she became rich & famous with a loving (very understanding & patient) husband & a healthy, beautiful daughter. Most of the people that have your childhood, Bethenny, will either end up a part of the cycle and pass the abuse to their children or overcome and learn to love themselves and others. How many do you think end up with a tv series with bank to boot. Shut the fuck up already!!!

    Sorry guys but I’m so over her. When we first met her I wanted to see her succeed and find happiness…but now that she’s found it & won’t let herself enjoy it…I’m disappointed…and pretty much done with her. I just don’t like this person I’m watching on tv. She’s no longer the underdog…she’s the big dog now (in a teeny tiny skinny body)…but she’s just pooping on everyone around her. Yuck.

    • Tracy without an E says:

      ITA, Sairah. And good for you for making the most of your present happiness, too. :)
      I don’t think any good comes from living in the past forever.

    • mIl says:

      Yes! Yes! Yes! My childhood was pretty shitty as well. My parents did what they could and made a LOT of mistakes, but guess what?! I’m an adult now and I am responsible for all my happiness or sadness. The truth is nobody really cares about anyone else’s problems (that includes you). What we like to see are people striving to be their best and move forward, not wallow in self pity because they think it makes them more “relatable.”

      I still think she’s a hoot but having her own show is just too much air time for her to be self-absorbed. Go back to RHONY and all will be forgiven.

    • Tuzentswurth Vanderbilt-Carnegie says:

      ITA too, Sairah. Some ppl never want to give up blaming their parents, grow up and accept responsibility for their own life and happiness. No one has ever gone back in time and made their parents be perfect (allegedly and that I know of). I don’t think it can be done (yet, until we can control the time/space continuum, so nobody hold your breath).

  5. TrueLifeDiva says:

    If I recall last season, wasn’t Gina this “in demand” baby nurse? Now she seems like some kind of slob.

  6. WindyCityWondering says:

    Bethenny last year was life milestones – marriage and a baby – both joyous and both what she really wanted. This year it is her life as a new wife and mother and her business empire being built – not as interesting or joyous and what she is now dealing with. IMO, the first couple of episodes she was still very hormonal from the birth and all the new feelings a baby brings out in a mother. Her communication style has not changed – she still snarks but it is not vicious snark but more poking fun at herself. Her reality tv is not the standard housewives reality and she truly is entertaining.
    They could have been a panda or a clown family and Bethenny claimed Halloween as a family holiday. She pulled the plug on the Trinian baptism and she did get Bryn baptized in Jason’s faith with a small, intimate celebration. She wants to discuss situations so they don’t turn into something they should not and she shows her mistakes without excuse.

    • Tuzentswurth Vanderbilt-Carnegie says:

      I think she can’t ever quiet the voices in her head but really needs to try. She wears me out talking everything to death (especially how it relates to B,B,B!).

  7. Debbie says:

    I haven’t had much time lately to watch any of the Bravo shows. I’ve caught a few parts of each. I have to say I am not enamored of any of them. Miami sucks and it’s a disappointment to me because it’s pretty much filmed right here in my 2nd hometown. It’s pitiful and Miami has so much more to offer and showcase. And I’m certain there are more interesting women. Bethenny needs to chill a little and stop the whining..May try to watch the reruns but will always read your recaps. As the OC, it’s all been said…I’m reading your blog but am no longer interested in watching the same plot involving jealous, self involved ,selfish and phony bitches (physically, emotionally and any other way you want to view them.) They’re all bankrupt in one way or another. I think I’ve just about had my fill of the RH’s. Except BH and I am waiting for RHoNY.
    I’m just rambling here and I apologize. Real life has me exhausted lately.. Maybe that’s what’s behind my lack of tolerance for these ladies.

    RCH? My main reason for posting is this….I was looking all over your home page to see if you have a link to Google Reader? Or maybe I just dont know how to add you. I just started using it andIt makes it a lot easier to find you newest posts. If you could let me know here, I’d really appreciate it.
    As usual I enjoyed the recaps and will be back for more.

  8. Cyndi says:

    I think you all make valid points about why she is grating on our collective nerves. While I do believe that much of what you are seeing this year is completely contrived for the benefit of the show, I think there is a deeper seeded emotion behind it. Whether we think she should get over her abandonment issues or not, they are very much present in her life. Sometimes becoming a parent forces you to deal with things on a deeper level when perhaps you only gave them lip service before.

    I think you are seeing B’s desperate need for control in her own life. She has never felt like she had true control of her life. Now that she has Bryn her need to control things and be the perfect mother has intensified. Every episode she seems to get thinner and thinner, a major indicator of a control issue. Most people with eating disorders (not saying B has one or not) control their food when they feel like everything else is out of control.

    B has no friends, because you can’t control your friends. Your friends will sometimes tell you that you are acting like an idiot. An assistant while sweet and caring still works for you so you can still control her. Camera crew invited? Sure they can be controlled. She is attempting to control everything and everyone in her life. As most of us can tell her, that will only bite her in the butt. Eventually someone says no more.

    This season is sad to me more than anything else. Her life is like a merry go round spinning faster and faster and she is losing herself on it. The girl we saw cry with Gloria over fruit is no longer there.

    • WindyCityWondering says:

      Bethenny has control over her show and her life and has chosen to show us slices. She is trying to keep it interesting. No way do I want to see her sitting around just working or just attending to Bryn. She is bringing other people on to the show – friends, potential business partners, etc. She isn’t trying to show us that she is perfect or fabulous but she is trying to keep it somwhat real – she is a character and she is surrounded by characters. Seeing Nick again after the interview and her genuine interest in him is cool. Seeing how much she appreciates and loves Julie is cool. She appreciates her fans and I doubt Jill would ever dedicate anything to her fans – Bethenny’s Place of Yes is that acknowledgement and thankfulness that is right there under her snark!

    • lovinthisblog says:

      Being a control freak, I recognize B’s control freakiness. :)

      Control, by the way, is at the center of all eating disorders.

    • jay says:

      “Every episode she seems to get thinner and thinner”,
      “a major indicator of a control issue. Most people with eating disorders (not saying B has one or not) control their food when they feel like everything else is out of control.”
      ^^ agree 100%, and i speak with a personal history with anorexia.
      BUT, i do think her weight loss = result of the progressive training on Skating with the Stars.

  9. MaryMac says:

    I can’t stand Bethany…she’s an elitist, narcissistic bitch. I hope Jason wises up, divorces her, gets custody and moves back to Bumfuck with the kid…..Bethany is a miserable POS….

  10. Missy says:

    Where can you watch BEA online? All I found on bravo’s site is the premier episode for this season.

    Also, I really want to watch Sister Wives online – someone here mentioned a few days ago that you can watch them online On Demand but I couldn’t find it.

  11. krone says:

    I still love Bethenny! I love her drive, her passion, her obvious love of Jason and beautiful Brynn and even her bitchiness. I envy her ability to tackle potential problems head on since I’m the type that will smile and put up with shit and then bitch because people aren’t reading my mind properly; how I wish I’d been able to discuss and resolve family visits/Holidays openly and immediately rather than postpone those discussions for fear they’d become “unpleasant”. I was a people pleaser and wound up pleasing no one, myself included. I enjoy the show,- the lack of boundaries: the wild emotions: the silliness and Jason’s endless supply of patience and B’s ultimate appreciation of him and what a great catch he is. They’re fun for me to watch,- I actually laugh out loud at times; something that never happens when I watch any of the Housewives. I guess I’m in the minority; if anything, I enjoy Bethenny and family even more than before.

    • Skeeter says:

      Yes! I still get an enormous kick out of her. I am very entertained by her peeps. love that Jake. he’s funny. I also think that the “real baptism” was intimate/family only as a show of respect. Not an indication that B has no friends. (Maybe many of them aren’t Catholic, and she & Jason decided they needed a break from adventuring into alternate religions, theirs or anyones.)

    • @tweatcyn says:

      I’m with you. Still like Bethenny. I laugh, I cry, It’s better than Cats!

  12. Adgirl says:

    I don’t know why it bugged me to see Teresa Giudice’s face on the cover of the magazine covering the joke tarantula. Took me out of the moment for sure.

  13. krone says:

    Has anyone watched Top Chef’s Marcel’s show on the Sci-Fi channel? I haven’t but am curious about it.

  14. Adgirl says:

    After watching the contrived baby expert who shockingly has a Bravo show now… (stawp!) I now know my parents were trying to kill me.

    We didn’t have baby proofing. I climbed on chairs, swung from drapes, wrestled the cat & poked my eye with my mother’s mascara wand. I ate paste and used pointy scissors.
    I also locked my brother in the closet and told him monsters were coming to eat him.

    OMG I am an abused child. I just found out. Now I have suffer retroactively.

    • Miss Anthrope says:

      You’re telling me. My mom recently told me that the day she found out she was pregnant with me she got drunk and blurted out “I’m pregnant!” at a family dinner. LOL!

      (In her defense, they didn’t know about fetal alcohol syndrome then :P)

      • Adgirl says:

        That is hysterical. In your mother’s defense when I announced my pregnancy my father, an expert in birth defects at UC Berk, poured me a huge Manhatten in congrats.

        He said FAS among general populations is wildly exaggerated and there is a specific group that usually has that issue.
        I think he meant mostly American Indians and native Alaskans.

        • At the risk of being called a horrible person, I personally don’t believe all the hype surrounding FAS. Maybe if you’re bombed at 8am and pass out in your own vomit every night, then ok… but women were smoking and drinking during pregnancy until a generation ago and nothing bad ever happened. Actually, there are more disorders and autism and things like that now than there was 50 years ago.

          • krone says:

            Goddesses can’t be “horrible people”.

            My girls are all bright successful people and I had them in the olden days when women still drank and smoked while preggers.

          • TrueLifeDiva says:

            I work with mentally challenged adults and children born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are also commonly diagnosed as mentally retarded. The FAS gets lost in the shuffle. More than half the residents of the facility I work at were born with FAS. You don’t hear about it because they are usually shipped off to board and care facilities. Out of sight, out of mind.

            • But I think those children are the result of women who drank constantly while pregnant, and maybe used drugs too. I just don’t believe that a glass of wine at dinner is going to give your child FAS. Maybe it’s possible, but I’ve never seen it happen in my life or the lives of anyone I know.
              I think the government lies about a lot of things to scare people. Personally, I believe that eating fast food and microwavable food and using wifi will damage your baby more than cigarettes or alcohol.
              Idk… I’m full of conspiracy theories, and I don’t believe 98% of what I’m told.

          • krone says:

            I get what you’re saying TLD.. and when I talk about drinking while pregnant, I’m talking about a glass of wine w/ dinner or during the evening(my doc actually recommended it so I’d sleep better!) It’s just when I look back I wonder how previous generations survived. and Brava for the work you do:-)

    • buffywood says:

      Me too Adgirl, and much more at the hands of my brother. My brother talked me into climbing out my bedroom window and jumping off the roof (only 1 story on that part of the house)… but he did give me an umbrella to slow me down so I was ok. Another time while playing hide and seek I thought it was a great idea to hide in the dryer. It was a great hiding spot until my brother found me and decided it turn it on. My mom finally heard the banging and came and got me. The list goes on and on… it is a miracle I survived.

      • Adgirl says:

        That is an awesome story. I hope you tell it to your nieces and nephews every Thanksgiving. LOL.

      • @tweatcyn says:

        Oh, yeah, lots of stories like these with me, my brother and two sisters. Honestly, parenthood has become so over controlled by society. Kids are resilient and most precautions today don’t need to be applied to the general population as they are. Too much policing and dogmatism going on.

        • buffywood says:

          When I was a kid I was called rambungious, my parents pointed me towards sports to get all of my energy out. If I was a kid now I would be labeled ADD or ADHD, medicated, and see a therapist.

      • Bea from NJ (@sweeetbea on Twitter) says:

        LMAOOOOOO!! Buffywood, these are the best stories ever! I really LOL when I read them. Thank you for sharing with us and making us laugh ;-D

    • Tuzentswurth Vanderbilt-Carnegie says:

      Really lol with these posts. My daughter recently had a baby and we were just looking at old albums last week when we came across a picture I had of her as a baby, sleeping in a port-a-crib with slats >than now recommended, lying on her tummy on a sheepskin, covered with a baby blanket, crib bumpers intact, and 2 stuffed animals in the corner. She showed it to her brother and said I was trying to kill her. I agree FAS occurs with heavy drinking, but the current trend of no drinking is safe for all ( except grandmas ).

      • Tracy without an E says:

        And don’t foget riding in the front seat without a seat belt even. We’d also all pile in the back of a pick-up truck. Or bike riding without helmets. Unsecured outlets. It IS a miracle any of us survived. ;)

        • LilyLynn says:

          When I was little, mom told me she was giving me “candy” whenever she had to give me st. joseph’s chewable children aspirin. I believed her and hey they tasted good. You can probably guess the rest — I thought I was just helping myself to some candy, not overdosing!! No child-proof caps back then. Went to ER, but because I’d gotten so sick to my stomach at the house, nothing left to pump. Thanks mom.

        • BlueSky_Forever says:

          The best was riding in the back of a pick-up. It had raised wooden sides, an old 1950′s black Ford with real holes in the floor board that you could stick your foot in, maybe that’s why we were in the back & not the front lol. Now adays my uncle would have been arrested, but my cousins & I were having the time of our lives. We swung on ropes in the hayloft, road around on a little open thing hooked up to the back of the garden tractor while my cousin drove it (she was all of 9 or 10…haha). We camped out under the stars, rode horses & sometimes stepped in real cowpies. Wouldn’t have missed a minute of it!

          • Tuzentswurth Vanderbilt-Carnegie says:

            OMG we were all abused, neglected, and/or endangered by today’s standards and we did it to our kids too. It is a miracle the human race is still here!

        • Tam5115 says:

          OMG, who ever even heard of bike helmets and knee or elbow guards back then? We tore around the neighborhood like little demons on bikes and roller skates without any cushion at all. Hell, you didn’t really learn to ride without scraping off half your knees, right? You just went home and mom got the bleeding to stop, washed it off and maybe put a bandage on it if it was really nasty. No triple antibiotic ointment either. It’s a surprise any of us survived with all limbs intact.

          With the way things are now, we’re raising a bunch of fearful children who needs to see the bogeyman around every corner. It’s a shame, really.

          • Real "TO" Housewife says:

            i took my son to a fast food restaurant last week to apply for a job (he just turned 16). the staff there said the don’t hire anyone under 18 because legally you have to be 18 to man the slicer. i manned the slicer at a restaurant i worked at when i was 15. ?? is the meat tougher now or something? or maybe the kids are just dumber nowadays?

            and i guess i was abused as a fetus too – my mom smoked and drank when she was pregnant with me. and maternity vitamins? what the heck were those?
            plus i walked to and from school all by my lonesome at 7 yrs old.

  15. Miss Anthrope says:

    The shhhhing at her mother in law made me cringe. There is NO WAY that Jasons mother actually likes her. I’d bet my life that the poor woman is just too polite to stick her foot up Bethennys ass. If I were her I’d have made the bitch cry in front of the cameras at least twice by now. Every single interaction she has with those people is torture for her and I really can’t understand why. They seem perfectly nice and all they want is to spend a little time with their first and only grandchild. This is one of the reasons why I suspect that Bethenny not having a “family” could be partly due to her. She doesn’t seem to want that sort of togetherness that “average” families have. In fact, she seems to resent it.

    100% agreed about the panda costumes being a photo op, which imo is kind of disgusting. It’s right up there with those celebrities who sell pictures of their newborn babies to the gossip magazines……oh wait, Bethenny did that too!

    I’m also glad that you picked up on that whiny baby voice she uses. Wtf is that about?

    • Monkey says:

      I agree completely about Jason’s mom. She has to play it cool and act like she loves Bethenny out of fear of never seeing Bryn again.

  16. What about the fact that the Bishop was wearing Rabbi robes? Didn’t anyone else find that really weird?

    • @tweatcyn says:

      Yeah, and that definitely was a baptism, and they did not stop it in time as he already had poured the water and said the words. She was baptised twice. Not that that’s a bad thing, since both churches were Christian. Just different sects, however, Catholics only recognize the Catholic church as Christian, so they will likely be upset about this dual baptism.

    • MichellefromNY says:

      Yes!!! but it wasn’t a rabbi’s robes RCH. It’s actually a repurposed challah (brioche for the sabbath) cover for the jewish sabbath. I thought it was very strange that the “archbishop would wear it. I honestly don’t believe he even knew what it meant. He probably saw hebrew words on a cloth and had to wear it cuz he thought it was “holy”.

      Also, this church is even wierder cuz I noticed a buddha on the steps. WTF???

      Who else thinks this church is not based in hundreds of years of trinidadian traditions and was instead created like very recently?

    • Miss Anthrope says:

      Was it a rabbi robe? I’m not even sure what one of those looks like haha. That whole scene was really odd. I’m peculiar about religion anyway. I’m baptized Catholic but won’t set foot in a Catholic church mostly due to the fact that just the ambiance freaks me the fuck out. I don’t even know what I would do if I was in that Trinidadian church. Probably cry? LOL.

      Bethenny snatching Bryn up and getting the fuck out of dodge was probably the smartest thing we’ve seen her do this season. If someone baptized my kid without my permission, heads would be rolling. Also, if having your kid baptized without your permission and lying about it isn’t grounds for termination for a “baby nurse” then I’m not sure what is.

      • I don’t know if it was really a Rabbi’s robe, but it was a Jewish thing with Hebrew letters and a picture of the Sabbath. I’m pretty sure Baptists don’t celebrate Shabbat or speak Hebrew.
        That secret baptism was definitely grounds to be fired. How stupid are Bethenny and Jason? The woman on the mic clearly said “baptism”, Gina is a liar. I can’t believe they accepted her “blessing” and “it only looked like a baptism but wasn’t” excuses.
        I always thought Gina was annoying, I started getting suspicious with the ex husband story, now after the baptism I really don’t like her at all.

  17. krone says:

    The Rabbi robes were something else,- must have been on sale. I remember my doc telling me to have a glass of wine at night to relax during my 1st pregnancy and we had ashtrays in our hospital rooms after delivery. My girls’ favorite toys were pots & pans and tin measuring cups & spoons. That lady would have had a heart attack; aside from normal bumps my kids were all healthy and major accident free,- miracles I guess.

  18. Terry says:

    I don’t approve of anyone who mistreats the help. Why does Gina have to bring her own food?

    Also, why do I have to see Bethenny’s underwear?

    • @tweatcyn says:

      Gina probably has to bring her own food if she doesn’t want to starve. Bethenny seems to be subsisting on vitamin water. The hand-me-down underwear is just gross. Throw that shit out if you don’t want it. And it doesn’t require a friend to help you clear it out of your closet, nor does it take up any appreciable space in that closet so the whole scene was completely pointless.

      • I agree, it was pointless. And I don’t get her comment “Do we not do naughty school girl now that we’re married?” What?? Do what you want. I don’t think there is a rule book. And that guy was giving her horrible advice. YES keep the school girl outfit! They haven’t even been married a year yet, come on.

        The more I think about it, the more annoyed I’m getting.

      • jay says:

        i adore Bethenny and the show but omg the comment about Gina bringing her own food and Bethenny subsisting on Vit water made me laugh. ;)

    • TrueLifeDiva says:

      I missed where it was said Gina has to bring her own food. I got the impression Gina lives there most of the time and preferes to eat foods from her carribean background in addition to what the Hoppy’s eat.

  19. clazzy says:

    I still like Bethenny and love Jason.. and adore Bryn… but Jason is a doormat; and as long as he allows B to treat him that way…… the marriage will eventually END because Jason subconsciously despises it. Jason has got to get a backbone and get rid of that slobby “nurse”. My god what are they thinking. She isnt even good entertainment. She is however ANNOYING AS ANYONE CAN BE! Shes a manipulative user and abuser as long as they allow it to continue. I gave her a chance but the “non baptism baptism” WAS THE LAST STRAW with this freak!

    Someone stand up to B and tell her the phony b==== has got to go. Max was not even that annoying and he was annoying!

    I’m sick of this show already!
    Sorry B…
    oh and the other fruitcake is that therapist! Really now! lol…. a joke and a half, he is!
    OMG!

  20. clazzy says:

    I was watching the dvr episode of the “church” scene… at the beginning…. Jason is such a people pleaser. He goes on and on as to how beautiful the “church” is and the headpieces… COMEON JASON! Enuff already! There was another sign as to how much he deep down despises Bethennys harshness .. when he said, to let him know when Jesus Christ enters her soul, as he was kissing up to the freak nurse Gina! Oh, and the eyes rolling got me even more so.. B surely didnt like it either!

    There WAS NOTHING OR NO ONE who was beautiful in this “church” in the middle of hoodlum city with the storefront sign out front!

    I’m losing interest real fast re watching this episode re Jason. We already know but still watch B obnoxiousness but Jasons flaws and non humorous remarks are his subconcious speaking out….. not so funny or becoming!

    When they start passing that baby around…. I cant believe how long it took either of them to grab her out of those crazy peoples witchunt way!

    Geez, I swear Gina has put an evil spell on these 2!

    • TrueLifeDiva says:

      One of the things that Bethenny liked about Jason was that he “handled” her. He needs to get back to the stronger posture he once had. I see both sides in regards to the grandparents. They are wonderfull people but I can see how they might be overpowering her. It will all work out in good time.
      Um, the church thing? Just because the church was in the hood and the congregation was mostly immigrants does NOT mean it wasn’t beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I’ve been to some poor churches where the devotion was so pure and uplifting that it made me forget the shabbyness of my surroundings. Maybe Jason was commenting on the beauty of the spirit of Gina’s church. I can snark on people and things all day. I would never downgrade someones true religious beliefs.

      • Adgirl says:

        I think Jason was doing damage control so people wouldn’t say the cultural differences scared them. I guess we could only compare if Gina had been Amish and Bryn was swept up into a ceremony.

      • krone says:

        The first time I went to church with my son-in-law was amazing! I was raised in a strict Catholic Church. ( Mass was still said in Latin with the priest’s back to the congregation) and nuns more or less patrolled the “children’s” mass making sure no one was having any fun. At my SIL’s church people were singing and swaying and greeting each other; I felt a true “communion” with the other people there. My church had gold chalices and pure silk garments, his looked more like the one on BEA; guess which one felt more “spiritual” to me? AND his church is very active in the community. just my experience.

  21. Adgirl says:

    I wish BEA didn’t have Jason & Bethenny together so much. I think it makes Jason look whipped, like he doesn’t have a life except under Bethenny’s shade.

  22. Susie says:

    Bethenny just talks too damn much and too damn fast. She acts like she’s on speed all the time. Yeah, she’s getting on my nerves.

  23. car54 says:

    I agree that the central issue is control for Bethenny– for a lot of people with eating disorders that’s what it is all about–you are looking for something in your life that you have power and control over.

    She talks about how much she loves time alone with Bryn, but I wonder how it will be when Bryn has a voice and an opinion of her own about anything. Right now she is a sweet easy baby–but how is someone like Bethenny going to take the terrible twos–when the first thing out of a baby’s mouth is NO–and everything for them is about me me me?

    Bethenny needs to work through some of this stuff OFF camera –if she wants to keep her shiny funny girl image cause right now she isn’t so funny.

  24. auntie mimi says:

    I think bravo/andy took sides with the whole bethenny/jill fiasco as b was already in production for her own show. In order to have viewers for said show, they had to turn us off from jill- and that worked.
    Now, bethenny is fair game in bravo drama clog and andy can show her true colors and make us watch not because we’re rooting her on, necessarily, but because someone we thought we’d see into the fab life us- we get to see ugly, mean, better-than- common people now.
    I cant even stomach this show anymore, so thank you for the recaps, because i do still want to hear about her real personality catching up to what she/bravo originally tried to sell us.
    I dont think its ok to compare anyone to an animal (wolf) unless you hate them. I dont think its okay to act like small town folk are alien, semi-creepy, unbelievable to be in existance to your perfect world- as if theyre soooo different from your high-falutin’ ways. I dont think dwelling in your haunted past can anyway be a good thing for your marriage or family- you end up making them suffer the consequences and pain of things that happened a million years ago, things they cant fix, and sometimes it looks like an excuse for poor behavior, lack of real feelings, or an inability to love/parent.
    So, no.. no longer a bethenny fan;)

    • I think Bravo took Behtenny’s side in the fight because Jill tried to make Bethenny’s show fail/make Bravo lose money. I think Bethenny’s edit this season was a huge miscalculation on their part. Unlike Housewives, the success of Bethenny’s show depends on us liking her. So to give her a bad edit wouldn’t make any sense. If it weren’t for the fact that so many people ask me for the recaps, I wouldn’t even be watching the show. Her recaps take me forever to finish because it’s really hard for me to write when I’m not interested.
      I don’t hate B, but I like her a whole lot less now. Did you ever have a really good friend that you loved but then you went on vacation with them or became roommates and fought constantly? That’s how I feel about B. It’s just too damn much of her. But I would still like her to be on Housewives.

      • Adgirl says:

        OMG sooo true.
        Everyone. Do not live with your best friend. And leave the country when they get married.
        It will ruin your friendship and your life. And your reality TV show.

        • Tracy without an E says:

          I’m pretty much getting over her, too. I’m also officially letting you off the hook on the recap requests for BEA. So at least that’s one less person wanting them. Now, RHOOC is another story.

      • auntie mimi says:

        Oh, well you know what? Bravo may not have had much a choice in the edit department… a bitch is a bitch is a bitch…. so, please… feel free to stop recapping! I would love for her show to be canceled, her to not have any orders for those dumb drinks and her whole big JAW brand to hit the skids. Her snark was funny when used against someone bullying her, but some poor guy eating a hot dog, minding his business- happen to be living in a smallish town? That makes me make you want to lose everything youve gained from having fans.

  25. Debbie says:

    RCH., TrueLifeDiva and Tuz,
    thanks for the Google reader hint. I went back and added RCH. Makes it so much easier to find the blog now as I dont have a lot of free time.
    Other than posting the thanks I’m also going to check for e-notifications of comment updates. I haven’t been getting them for a while..I tried again yesterday and still I didn’t get any,
    RCH? Are you trying to deliver a not so subtle hint? Should I begin to feel insecure, tossed to the side like a bag old week old jelly beans? *wringing hands* *tears trickling*
    Hopefully later today, the sun will shine again,my ponies will again frolic as my email notifications pour in.

  26. Adgirl says:

    What a buzz kill.
    After reading these comments I have to agree that Bethenny is bag of crazy and Jason is bag of crazy with nuts.
    Crazy/Control Freak + Nice/Control Freak w nuts will not = healthy child.

  27. RCH, I have to say that I did not notice the magazine that Bethenny used to cover the
    spider, Props for picking up on that!!
    I think that on Bethennys part that was pure genius! What a great way to throw
    a dig at Teresa, who’s been nothing but a dirt bag to Bethenny- I love it.

    I have been pleasantly surprised by BEA so far….. I enjoy the show, much
    more than last year. And to be honest, after the skating , I was on Bethenny overload.
    It could be her cast of characters that make it “cute” – I am also surprised
    at how much Jason adds to the mix.

    On another note, I saw re-runs of RHONY last night. I forgot how much Jill
    raised my blood pressure. I got so annoyed I changed the channel and watched
    a repeat of “House Hunters”

    • Bea from NJ (@sweeetbea on Twitter) says:

      Watching the RHONY marathon yesterday completely reminded me why Jill, KKB & LuAnn drive me crazy and why I luv Bethenny.

      The snarkiness & bitchiness that Bethenny expresses at those idiots on housewives is right on but I don’t care for it on BEA. Bethenny is much better appreciated on Housewives. Would love for her to go back.

  28. ~Luvz A Formidable Canvas~ says:

    Sugarboogers!

    Word for today——-> nemesis
    ~Bethenny needs a formidable foe…….
    someone to absorb her nasty snark deservedly……ala JZarin’ness.
    Zing’n the innocents in her life is make’n her look bsn……batshitnasty.

    Petty plausible scenario scenes:
    * Andy moves-in next door and asks toooo many questions.
    *A nosey networker caught on nanny-cam doing nefarious activities in the kitchen.
    *An evil neighbor who steals their yogurt and yoga mats …..yadah, yadah.
    *A Jason stalker.
    *A boiling bunny in the kettle.

    You get the picture!~ ……someone we would luv to watch Bethenny snotty
    snark-down to within an inch of their reality show life’s whorey Warhol minutes.~
    Paint that catty canvas!~ :-D
    P.S.
    NAIL that picture to the wall ~Bethenny……and get the luvz back. ;-)

    • clazzy says:

      Luvz A Formidable Canvas…
      Try to make some sense, in your comments, before you post!

      • ~Luvz A Formidable Canvas~ says:

        **circles slowly**

      • ~Luvz A Formidable Canvas~ says:

        Dear clazzy…….(I almost like the name ;-) )

        Before you post, try to make some sense re: comma usage.
        ……and
        IF……just IF….. I take your advice re: posting an intelligent comprehending literary text, how in the eff’n hell would you
        have the capacity to comprehend?

        Best,
        ~L

        P.S.
        What needs an explanation point?
        Have your people call my people.
        ;-D

        • ~Luvz A Formidable Canvas~ says:

          ok……ok…..

          is this bettah:

          We would luv to watch Bethenny
          snotty snark-down to someone………
          to within an inch of their
          reality-show-life’s whorey-Warhol-minutes.~

          P.S.
          Do you remember Andy Warhol’s
          ‘fifteen minutes of fame for everyone’ … simplicity mention?
          That’s not an exact quote, of course, as I’m counting commas, and trying to make some sense, for you, to annihilate.
          P.S.S.
          Andy threw paint onto…..ummmm…..canvas. (Pictures…..get it?)
          ……and painted other misdeeds, suitable for any reality show’s 15-minutes.
          Ahhhh……explanations…….explanations ahhh ha! :-D

          • ~Luvz A Formidable Canvas~ says:

            Someone THAT we would luv to watch Bethenny snotty snark-down ON…..(uh ohhh)
            to within an inch of their reality-show-life’s whorey Warhol minutes.~

            Bye for now,
            Audi here
            ~L :-)

    • BlueSky_Forever says:

      not so hard to decipher Luvz…I got it. Like your style.

      • ~Luvz A Formidable Canvas~ says:

        …….and your style takes courage.
        Thanx :-)

        English is a difficult language,
        I try to have fun with it and write how I think, somewhat closely.
        Fun is a fun word :-)

  29. crazysweet says:

    they are desperately trying to create a lucy & ricky out of bethanny & jason. all this shit seems so “scripted” julie got the job because she’s already on the show and they don’t have to cast one of her “friends” to become godmother nor do they have to pay more fees. even the whole priest thing calling them the wrong names like “oh this is how crazy our life is” teee heee heee aren’t we the funny one and the straight man and this nutty situations can only happen to us.
    ugh! she makes me vomit overtime she complains about her life and her childhood and if ANYONE talked me to death like that I think I’d shoot myself…or them?
    Holy cow what contrived bullshit.
    and why was everyone trick or treating in broad daylight?

    • BlueSky_Forever says:

      On the east coast (here in Jerseyland) trick or treating starts early & is over before dark. The little kids start the earliest, by 4 pm….it’s dark around 8 pm. There’s a curfew so teens are arrested if out after dark. Guess that cuts down the mischief, egg-tossin’ drama? On BEA, they were trick or treating in Jersey.

      • Wait… WHAT? Kids are arrested for being out after 8pm???? That’s insane!!
        Daylight trick-or-treating sounds lame.

        • BlueSky_Forever says:

          LOL, yeah it is lame but it’s safer for the kids. I don’t get that many trick or treaters (too far between houses for the kids to walk, they like the neighborhood down the street where it’s easier!) plus the barking dogs (locked up tight of course) might be a tad intimidating. There’s lots of nice teens but then there are those teens that just want to cause mischief….so several towns banded together years ago with the curfew. It works, don’t hear about cars getting egged etc. The high school allows the kids to dress up for Halloween. The best costume I saw was my son’s friend (a guy) dressed as a pregnant nun lol. My son had on an itsy bitsy pink hulu skirt, coco nut bra, & lei. Okay don’t ask. He has a girlfriend & would beat up anyone that got too cute with him (he’s on the football team). Another big studly hunkie football player dressed in a skimpy (it was really too small!) sexy nurse’s outfit. Then they went to a party (since they can’t be outside lol) where the costumes were really something. For this party my son had on a pink tutu, cute bunny ears….and he looked really good with his six pack. Some of the girls wore stuff you would expect to see at a strip club. So maybe they would be better off trick or treating right? At least they would dress warmer! RCH just wait until you have teens. They need more supervision than 2 year olds.

      • crazysweet says:

        well that a crock of shit! I grew up in Philly and it was the BEST night ever!! even though I often had to wear a parka over my costume and boot’s over Ballerina slippers. we knew everyone in our neighborhood…an it’s some of my best memories. times have changed.

    • I also wondered why they were trick-or-treating during the day. I think it was because daylight makes the paparazzi photos turn out better.

      • BlueSky_Forever says:

        I swear RCH, all the kids trick or treat during daylight in NJ! It’s true, the pictures do turn out better. Another factoid about NJ is all the kids have a regular 11 pm curfew, so if a kid is out sans parents after 11 pm, uh-oh. Now here’s the kicker. All teens that are driving at 16 get a restricted license, must drive with mom or dad, then hello at 17 they get a license where they can have 1 person not related to them in the car. This is to curb the teen driving with 3 buddies & getting into the killer accident. It’s tragic, over the years just in the towns I’ve lived in here in NJ, I remember 5 teens dying in accidents. That’s in the last 5 years. Another law now in force is the teens driving must have a sticker on their license, so the cops know it’s a teen under the age of 18 driving. NJ is a tiny state with a huge population (compared to other states) with lots of deadly car accidents. I don’t know what goes on in the big cities – Newark, Trenton, etc. Suburban NJ is what I know.

        • That just seems insane to me. Like a police state. I had no clue New Jersey was like that. I’m really surprised.

          • crazysweet says:

            yeah…gambling is legal but teen driving is not! when I grew up in northeast philly just over the bridge from trenton you could move out at 16! my brothers all did. and mischief night was the night before holloween. though you still can only buy alcohol in the state stores. at least in LA you can grab it from the market and in OC…well honey they sell that shit everywhere! in the pharmacy there’s more aisles of alcohol than there are cold medicine. you can even buy a bottle of Opus at longs drug store!! also the smallest county with the highest DUI convictions in the state.

            • ~Luvz Opus Cappuccino~ says:

              ~crazysweet……
              At the age of 16, dint I write’me some Opus for the opera? (must check my diary).
              Also, I sent the Opus fragrance to m’father a few years ago…..for awhile, his fave after-splash. (…was it really his secret code drink ? must check my diary). ;-)
              P.S.
              Luvz drugstore spy’s!~

  30. Distressed says:

    I don’t know anything about Gina’s church but I noticed the sign outside said “Youruba-Orisha” and I’m pretty certain that means a Santaria type of religion. In that context, the rabbi gowns are pretty tame.

    As far as the godmother, Adrienne Maloof was not available so why not ask an employee to protect and nurture the soul of your only child?

    At least Bryn’s soul has been saved TWICE. I still pray for Kennedy everyday.

  31. Anonymous says:

    My comment is about but I want to receive emails.

  32. hereswhat says:

    blah blah blah

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