The Real Housewives of Atlanta – The Bitches Are Back

The bitches are back. Lisa is gone -no loss there if you ask me- and there are two new ladies (and I use that term loosely) in the line up.

The show starts with Sheree talking to an old white guy about getting a divorce. The acting was so bad I thought did she hire this guy to help her make an interesting story line? Turns out they were just “acting”. Sheree has decided to put her fashion line on hold to pursue an acting career. Because obviously she couldn’t hire someone to sew clothing for her and take a weekly acting class all at the same time, that would be ridiculous. Sheree thinks she’s going to win an Emmy. It’s good to have goals.
For some reason the acting class takes place in Sheree’s kitchen.

NeNe just “happens to show up” and had “no idea” that Sheree was in the middle of class. NeNe needs to sit in on some of those classes and take notes.

Sheree kicks the theater geeks out of her house so that her and NeNe can gossip. NeNe shows Sheree the Life&Style article about Kim being a lesbian. Sheree doesn’t believe it. Kim never hit on her once, so clearly that means that Kim is not gay. The women sing Tardy for the Party and prove to the cameras that although Kim has the song, they have the voices.

Now that Kim is a lesbian, NeNe decides she wants to be friends with her again. She invited Kim over to her house and is preparing for her arrival. She bought some expensive wine, she put on her best jewelery, and wore a sexy evening gown that shows off her cleavage….

….and her back cleavage.

She’s nervous and wants to make sure that everything is perfect for their romantic date lunch. She even hired a personal chef to make a salad.

Finally Kim arrives and NeNe immediately wants to talk about her lesbian relationship. Kim says that she wasn’t in love with Tracy, but she had a “connection” with her. NeNe says “No Kim, you had a connection with me.” NeNe wants to know why, if Kim was going to become a lesbian, she decided to be with a woman like Tracy when she could have had someone has fabulous as NeNe. Her feelings are a little hurt and she is just trying to understand. Kim keeps trying to tell NeNe that she cares about her, just “not in that way” but NeNe wouldn’t let up so Kim finally changed the subject by telling NeNe that her husband is broke and borrowing money from her friends behind her back.

Kandi is dating a new man. Her fiance has been dead a whole 10 minutes so she figured it was about time to get back out there and start dating again. She has decided that she wants to take things slow and get to know him. That means no sex, only blow jobs. He’s perfectly fine with that arrangement.

I like Kandi, but this unfortunate hair style has got to go. It looks like she’s wearing a red hat on top of her head.

Kim’s daughter Brielle is dating now. She tells Kim about a really cute French guy at school who she has a crush on and is hoping will ask her out. If she behaves in front of her friends the way she behaves in front of the cameras, I think it’s safe to say that she never got that date.

Kim is a little concerned about Brielle dating at such a young age and hopes that her daughter shares her values. That means no sex unless the guy can buy you expensive things.

Next we get to meet Pheadra Parks. She is some fancy shmancy lawyer down in Atlanta, she knows some famous people and has no problem name dropping. She is pregnant and married to a man named Apollo. Phaedra and Apollo? Seriously? I want to see birth certificates. Phaedra tells the camera that her husband is a broke criminal, but that she knows he isn’t with her for the money because he signed a pre-nup.

Phaedra goes over to Dwight’s house for some cake and shit talking. He welcomes her in, kisses her stomach, tells her she looks like a fat pig, and then offers her and her unborn baby some champagne.

Dwight tells Phaedra that he spent $30,000 of his own money on Sheree’s fashion show because that’s what friends do. I wish I had friends like him. Sheree never properly thanked him with a gift basket and now he wants to be repaid. He was hoping that Phaedra would offer to help him sue, but she tells him that it would be a waste of time because Sheree doesn’t have any money. Her professional advice is that Dwight not stoop to any hood rat type levels, and instead give her a copy of Class with the Countess so that she can learn some manners.

Over at the Leaks’ house, NeNe confronts Greg about the rumor that he borrowed $10,000 from Dwight. Greg says that he never borrowed any money, but that they did an investment together. Dwight was supposed to put in $500 dollars, and make a $200 profit. A friend of mine tweeted this:

@veronicaromm What investment is $500? Weed the only thing that is considered an “investment” in that denomination. Seriously BS story Mr. Leakes telling.

The women were all invited to a shoe preview party. As mandated by their Bravo contracts, they plan to use the party as an opportunity to cause drama.  So they get dressed up and prepare for battle with Dwight.
In Sheree’s corner is the bald guy with the nail polish.

NeNe has Kim in her corner.

Dwight seems unaware of the impending battle, but he brought Phaedra as back up just in case any hood rat type stuff goes down.
Apparently Bravo only had room in the budget for one car to bring everyone to the party so they all arrived at different times.

I thought that the women were going to a party at a shoe store, but they show up to a hotel room with a bunch of shoes sitting on plates… Old shoes according to Sheree.

The women, classy broads that they are, hang out in the bathroom sipping their wine and gossiping.

NeNe is not happy that Phaedra will at the hotel shoe party. She just can’t see the fabulosity in her. They are from the same small town and I imagine that Phaedra was probably the stuck up snobby girl with straight A’s and NeNe was the girl cutting class and getting into fist fights after school.

Dwight arrives to the party and NeNe immediately gets in his face and starts screaming at him about Greg and the $10,000.

Eventually she backs Dwight into a corner and he starts looking around the room for help but no one wants to step in. Sorry Dwight, you’re on your own on this one.
NeNe is scary.

Eventually NeNe backs off and it was unclear whether they decided to leave or were kicked out.

Back in the car NeNe explains to Kim how much she hates having to yell at people. She didn’t want to do it, she just had no choice. We all know that when you hear a rumor that someone lent your husband money, there is really no other way to handle the situation. She is also upset that she didn’t get any answers from Dwight. She was 2 inches from his face screaming repeatedly so clearly he must have heard her questions. 

Next week we get to meet the other new girl, I forget her name already. And the previews for the rest of the season look pretty good. Kim and NeNe will get in another fight, and this time the camera was there to capture it. Violence is wrong, but if it’s going to happen, it should be caught on camera.

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156 Responses to The Real Housewives of Atlanta – The Bitches Are Back

  1. Hey guys. I have a really busy day today. But I’ll be back on later tonight to gossip and catch up on the trolliness of last night and this morning because I missed a lot.
    If you guys want to play with the troll, go ahead. If it’s bothering you, just ignore it. I’m not crazy about it using other people’s names, but I think it’s pretty clear who is who from the avatars and writing styles.

    And dear troll: I don’t mind u hanging around here. I find you rather amusing. But I would prefer if you not use other peoples names. KISS GRANDMA WRINKLES ASS was pretty funny. Maybe you could find a funny name that goes with Atlanta? I gave u THREE of your very own blogs, so I was hoping that maybe you could just do me that one favor since I’ve been so hospitable to you. I’ve really enjoyed your insanity the last few days. It has been fun.

    See you guys later!

    • SavingGrace says:

      Hi RCH:

      A couple of us on the blog think that the troll from last night was different than the troll in the morning.

      Squirrels thinks it might be the “Troll-that-shall-not-be-named”. I didn’t think so at first but considering that it sent HOURS after it derailed posting to itself, I think she might be right.

      Still, I don’t think last night’s troll was the original troll that was here 2 nights ago posting under Candykiss, Jerseygirl, etc.

      And what was the deal with Rainbow? I am so confused….SO CONFUSED.

      It was so entertaining playing with MickeyMouth’s trademarked named fruity little nutcake troll…too bad they didn’t spill anything useful.

      I still want to know what Jumla, Jumbla soup, and Fugmata mean…

  2. Rusty says:

    Nene is the trashiest of the trashiest. The absolute antithesis of the “creme de la creme”. I just can’t stomach watching her, her jacked-up hair or listening to her foghorn, loudass piehole.

  3. FlyontheWall says:

    Haha NeNe wants to be with Kim haha! I can’t believe I didn’t pick that up while watching the episode lol. I was more focused on NeNe being like “Kim is an attention whore/ho bag” one moment and the next moment saying “Kim is in fabulous crowd of Atlanta”. And don’t even get me started on Kim and her daughter!

    • Brielle eating ice cream and talking with her mouth open was the one unwatchable scene for me. I get she’s young, but I couldn’t believe Ms. Kim let her daughter embarrass herself with such disgusting behavior filmed for TV. And it went on and on and on…. Bravo! She’s a child! Someone take a moment to train her and not humilate her for fun. Obviously her mom won’t do it.

      • Rusty says:

        I like Kim. She owes it. It was so funny though when she was talking about how strictly she had been brought up. Did I make that up or did I really see that?

      • WindyCityWondering says:

        Kim was too busy with her computer to even look at Bre to see she was talking with wads of food in her mouth. Manner were obviously not one of those morals/values Kim’s parents instilled in her!

      • Humbruh says:

        I just about puked seeing Brielle eat with her mouth open. I understand she may be trying to adjust to the new braces and all but that was just foul. The least she could have done was put her hand over her mouth. Unlike Kim, my mom would have called me on that, along with putting the shoes on the kitchen counter. HUGE NO NO!

  4. Cammie says:

    this is without a doubt the funniest re-cap I have read in a long time. And THANK YOU for the screen shot of Nene’s back fat. I was having trouble bringing up that doughnut I had for breakfast and that shot did the trick! WHY would someone wear a dress designed to showcase your back if it’s covered with rolls??
    Du-whight is looking very silly so far this year, and Phaedra is a close second. Sheree got some new hair and a new “passion”-acting. Kim is swimming in the lady pond and her daughter is swimming in saliva. Kandi is impersonating Woody Woodpecker with the hairdo she’s sporting and the hairdresser with the nailpolish has a woody for spike heels. Let the games begin!

  5. Oh, I’ve been busy and missed so much. Trolls? What would the net be without them? Love the Atlanta Housewives! Nothing to do with being geographically linked to them, either. Unh unh! Just wanted to say love your blogs! You beotch! Let me hug you! Wait, you said whut? I’ll pull your wig ‘n choke you out! But first, let’s hug….

  6. Tracy Hunley says:

    Great recap as usual. God I love your blog!

  7. AngryOldMan says:

    I think this series will really hit its stride this season. Separated/divorced Nene and failed designer Sheree need money from club appearances so they’ll keep bringing the drama. Botoxed and tranquilized Kim knows her football player boyfriend won’t fund her like Big Poppa (and she needs more Botox and tranquilizers), so she’ll work for camera time to publicize her wig and crappy dance song factory. Kandi still hasn’t “risen above” bad hair choices to the top of the charts, she needs a lift. Clearly the new 2 have no shame since they worked hard to get on the show – they will shame themselves.

    All told, they need to rename these the Real Desperate Housewives so people don’t look at me funny when I call them that.

    • Rusty says:

      That’s another thing . . . Nene is SUCH a bitch for dumping Greg now that she thinks she’s a “star”. He seems like such a nice guy but I’m sure her over-inflated ego thinks she can hang with Blair Underwood or Lenny Kravitz. AS IF! (I am having SO much fun RANTING and shooting my mouth off :)

    • Rusty says:

      Yeah . . . WHAT is with those CRAZY-ASS hairdos? If you don’t like being called ghetto and low-rent . . . then WHY do you look like that? I’m talking to you Nene and Kandi.

  8. SavingGrace says:

    I’ve missed these crazy ass bitches so much.

    Sherri is so delusional — you know, she’s already written out her Oscar Speech when she hasn’t even landed a role yet. I betcha she practices it every day in the morning. I wonder who she thanks? Let’s see, God for making her so perfect, Bravo for showing her how famous she is, Nene for instigating fights she gets pulled into and Kim, cuz you know, she is Sherri’s white twin(remember season 1?)

    Nene wouldn’t know fabulous if it bit her in the tush. No Kim, Sherri & you are not fabulous BUT…
    watching you three grown ass witless twits on Ghost Hunters is going to be awesome. Does anyone know when it airs? Soon I hope.

    Kim, did you really REALLY say that you hope your child has the same values you do??? WTF — WHAT!!! Who in the world goes around instilling the morals of the whore of Babylon on their young??? Kim is the new Kelly.

    Now I loves me some Dwight but how the hell do you rack up $30K in charges for someone else’s fashion show? Wouldn’t you have the vendors bill Sherri? Wouldn’t you use her accounts to pay for expenses? This is why you got called a stunt queen & you can’t blame anyone but yourself…

    Ok — see you all later. I gotta go spend time at the future inlaws and I am taking a fabulous pineapple upside down cake for dessert.

    Enjoy your Friday!

    • tuzentswurth says:

      Pineapple upside down cake! Way to get in tight with the family! Good call……I have two single sons, tall, dark,& handsome, smart, and no criminal background!

      • SavingGrace says:

        Well, I got the cake at Deerfield’s Bakery in Schaumburg, IL. For any Chicagoans on the board that Bakery has different locations and it has great pastries, cakes, cookie, cupcakes, etc.
        The prices are not bad at all.

        Highly recommended.

    • Rusty says:

      Sheree – regarding that Oscar . . . how about shooting for a part in the community theatre first? SO DELUSIONAL!

  9. Tammy says:

    all i can say once again you rocked it once again. and my gosh nene went to far with her face . so much better before. looks crazy now.

  10. Pingback: Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Episode 1 Recap «

  11. Amber...Real Wife says:

    Winner this episode…the viewers! This show started with quite a bang. Funny and quick, Nene and the gang are pulling no punches. The loser…DaWrong! He obviously did loan Greg money, he probably did pick up a few tabs for all of his connections he pulled into the fashion show, BUT he embelished the amounts and came off looking crazy! His nose job, his polyester suits, and bank account were all ridiculed and called in to question! The young hairfairy queen, Lawrence, even called him a “stunt queen”. The horror! LOL Can’t wait til next week!

    BTW…Brielle eating was just plain nasty. That scene was horrible and made more uncomfortable by her “Purring”. Gross. Very inappropriate as she used it in the proper context. Kim will have her hands full with that one.

    • Meg1964 says:

      I wonder if Dwight thought he was going to tap Greg’s fat ass.

      I’m guessing Kim got a lot of tweets about Brielle’s nasty eating habits. Kim tweeted that Brielle had just gotten braces that day and that’s why she had absolutely no manners and looked like a damn pig. Well, she said something like that. I had braces, and both of my kids had braces. I know for a fact we never ate like that. If my kids had done that, they wouldn’t have needed braces.. cause I would’ve smacked the teeth right out of their mouths.

      • Miss Anthrope says:

        That was her reasoning for her kid eating icecream like a baboon? Nice try, but no. The reason her mouth was open is because she was talking and laughing with her mouth full, not because she was in discomfort. *sigh* What more could we expect from Kim though?

      • WindyCityWondering says:

        Miss Kim? NeNe told you to close your legs to married men. So why not tell your daughter to close her mouth when she eats??

  12. Squirrels says:

    NeNe, NeNe, NeNe….. When will you realize the majority of folk watching the personal train wreck you call life are not waving flags or pom poms in support. That said, I do appreciate your sense of humor in your fashion choices. The dress that accentuated your curvaceous back was indeed a clever choice for national television. Viewers who struggle with weight loss got a whopping head start with that visual. In fact, I heard that Ben and Jerry’s stock plummeted the following morning. However, anti-nausea medications were on the up swing.

    Now, while I can’t scientifically prove you were entirely responsible for Ben and Jerry’s misfortune due to the assistance Kim’s daughter gave, I’m fairly certain women across America are going to rethink their wardrobes at the very least.

    To quote a line from Cathy on Showtime’s “The Big C,” “You can’t be both fat AND mean. You can be fat and happy or a skinny bitch. Decide.”

    I love that line.

  13. TT in OC says:

    I have to drop in before I get to work …. yes, that’s how addicted I am.

    RCH, I serciously think Bravo should pay you some sort of commission. Your recap make me want to watch Atlanta now (as I was indecisive before).

    P.S. I changed my avatar to one of my paintings. Hopefully, this will help others to identify the real me in case the trolls want to play the same old trick (it was used before in Lynn’s blog and everyone was to decide to turn “blue” or not). I wish the trolls have something more original, impersonation is so 1979 ….. per Kelly.

  14. Meg1964 says:

    Love your recap!!

    I don’t have time for my usual thought out post (lol).. I’ll wait until tonight when I’m medicated with Ambien and a 1/2 bottle of wine. :)

    I do have one comment.. and this is driving me crazy. Why in the hell does Kim wear wigs? FGS.. she lives in Atlanta.. where it’s hot and humid for 3/4 of the calendar year, and there is no way in hell I’d put a hot ass wig on my head. Why doesn’t she just get extensions???

    Don’t you know that bitch’s head smells just as rotten as her crotch.

    • Miss Anthrope says:

      I kind of like that she wears wigs. I once worked at a major wig distributor and wanted so badly to buy a few but was too self conscious. I think it’d be awesome to have a different color and style everyday! I just don’t get why she wears wigs that don’t offer a whole lot of variety. What’s the point in that? And tbh, her wigs don’t appear to be of very good quality.

      I do understand why she doesn’t wear extensions. Extensions on white women almost NEVER look good. I mean, look at Britney Spears. It’s a hot ass mess. They’re also painful, time consuming, and require a fair bit of maintenance.

      • Oh Great One says:

        I wear a wig and have since I was 19 yrs old. After my gastric bypass ten years ago, my hair fell out. I have hair for every occasion including sleeping. I buy a new one every week. Trust me, it’s easier than fighting with a curling iron every day and I never have a bad hair day! I just don’t happen to think Kim has good wigs.

        • Rusty says:

          You GO Girl with those wigs of yours. It’s a tough choice but given the choice between bypass and no hair . . . I’d make the choice you made. My sis had it too and her life has completely changed. GOOD . . . FOR . . . YOU!

      • WindyCityWondering says:

        Look at Missy Salahi – her extentions have lives of their own and overall it looks nasty and flat! She could use a wig.

      • Squirrels says:

        Hey, I just got my hair cut!

        Why the obsession with long hair? Oh wait, I’m a middle age’r who knows long hair looks better on younger women. Now it makes complete sense. If I want to look young, I need to get long luxurious hair extensions at $800+ a pop. Add liposuction with a chaser of Botox and all the 20 something men will come flocking to my (insert genitalia insult here). At least all the really drunk ones will. All they want is a place to crash and ride out the hangover and will do whatever to get it. Meanwhile, I’ll ride out my fantasy that I haven’t changed a bit since 1980.

        Or am I completely off base here?

        • tuzentswurth says:

          Don’t forget the really, really short, tight dress with the plunging neckline. Nothing attracts virile young men more than granny done up like a tart! I so totally look exactly like I did in 1970! (Except for when my daughter and I are standing side by side in the bathroom mirror, yikes, must just be bad lighting)

    • AngryOldMan says:

      Now this is just what I remember Kim saying, don’t blame me when it doesn’t add up. Remember when she said she was “sick”? Remember how she said she had cancer, then she said it wasn’t cancer but something else “very serious”? Well, she said that’s when her hair fell out and she started wearing wigs. See, she always had the most beautiful hair, and was highlighted in her yearbook for having beautiful hair, and just couldn’t take it when it started to fall out. So she got used to the wigs and stuck with them.

      I sure hope I’m wrong (at least partially) cause I’m ashamed I remembered that.

      • tuzentswurth says:

        Hey Angry, don’t feel bad about yourself, if we had any dignity here, we’d be doing something else :)

      • Meg1964 says:

        Actually, since you brought that up, I do remember it being discussed on the Reunion one year. IIRC, none of the other HWs had heard Kim’s story.

      • Miss Anthrope says:

        Yeah, I remember that. And you’re right- it doesn’t add up. She can’t come out and tell the public which super secret illness she had but she has no problem flaunting the fact that she sleeps with a married man for money? That makes a TON of sense to me.

        I think she might have come down with the rare Michaele Salahi form of MS.

  15. Oh Great One says:

    If someone could please explain to me, why is it that NeNe feels that she has the right to get in another person’s face – clearly within spitting distance – and think it’s OK? When do they have the opportunity to answer her shrieking questions? If the attackee (i.e., Kim) slaps NeNe’s hand out of their personal space, then that’s definitely grounds for choking. I must insert large eye rolls here… That woman is not only ghetto – but completely nuts.

    • Rusty says:

      Cause she’s ghetto-trash that’s why. I hate to say that but I feel it’s true. It’s like people who have no vocabulary and then resort to physical attacks . They get so frustrated because they can’t express themselves verbally that they attack instead. Nene is certainly verbal but in an OVER-SHOUTING “I’m going to intimidate you” low-rent way. I hope she reads this and learns something.

  16. Miss Anthrope says:

    Sheree can’t act for shit. She was holding back laughter during that “scene”. The only talent that Sheree possesses is the ability to look nice in clothes. Good looking woman, no doubt. But the buck stops there with that one.

    Kim….

    You can’t even hate that broad because it’s like hating a cartoon character. She just does wtfever she wants to garner attention. She has no shame. Bangs married men for gifts and cash, wears outfits that only an extra on “Hookers At The Point” would be caught dead in, and says shit like “I was chasing dick since the womb!”. I just don’t even have it in me to hate her because she’s made no secret of the fact that she’s a human dumpster. So….congrats to her I guess for at least being real about her phoniness. I just wish she would tone all that botox and silicone down because I think she’d be gorgeous if she looked more natural.

    I love Nene. I can’t help it. I once had a very close friend who was EXACTLY like Nene. I know she definitely has quite a few issues to work out but I think she’s hilarious.

    Kandi seems like a nice girl but Nene isn’t lying when she says the girl is ghetto. If you look up “ghetto” in the dictionary you’ll find Kandis picture. I don’t know what it is with her dating men who have 301 babies but that’s some serious hoodrat shit.

    I don’t know what to make of Phaedra. She seems like another one who has absolutely no self awareness at all. She calls herself a high powered attorney, and granted that is what she is but did you listen to her list of clients? Bobbi Brown? She may as well just say, “Not only do I represent the most ghetto fabulous crooks in America, but I married one too!”.

    It’s interesting how Bravo has tapped into these different stereotypes of women though. The OC cast is your typical botoxed/fake boob trophy wives (with a few exceptions). NY is mostly made up of successful businesswomen in one way or another. New Jersey is the the trashy trainwreck mobster show. Atlanta is totally ghetto fab. I wonder what Bev Hills is going to produce. I’m assuming it’s going to be a weird combo of OC and NY.

    • Rusty says:

      The only great acting Sheree has done is that of a “designer” . . . “rich, classy woman” and “friend”. WHAT a BS artist! Ya sure . . . we all know that line of yours will be coming out “in the future” . . . NOT. Wasn’t it funny when she revealed her true thoughts about how “people” think that it’s easy to put together a new fashion line? There is a very common thread with the ATL women . . . they think that if they say it LOUD enough and PROUD enough . . . that “it” will just magically happen. I’m all for positive affirmations Girls . . . but ya gotten do some work (not magic) to make things actually happen. They blow a lot of blustering smoke. Oh . . . another thing that bugs me about them. It’s as if they all learned the word “cordial” last year . . . and now use it endlessly. I feel ATL is truly the most inauthentic bunch and that’s why I feel I like them the least. Bunch of scammers. Whew . . . am I bitchy or WHAT!

      • OneMoreInBoston says:

        Bring the bitch! luvs it- too true

      • Humbruh says:

        Glad I’m not the only one who thinks the Atl broads are the most inauthentic bunch on the block.

        Shit by Sheree failed because it was just that: SHITTY. Being able to shop & having a decent credit line to do it with does not a designer make. Now she sees herself winning an Oscar?? GTFOH! Maybe it’s just me but Sheree seems like one of those girls I went to high school with. You know, the ones that read a lot of entertainment magazines & stay up on pop culture. They see someone else doing something successfully and feel like they can jump on the bandwagon instead of coming up with their own ideas & formulating a plan to execute it. She is too dang old to be dipping & dabbling. It’s time to get it together.

        Phaedra/Fake-tra (aka Pseudophedrine cause she bores the living phux out of me) gets the side-eye. She gets a nod for being one of the few on this show who has an education & put in actual work to earn the money she has but that is as far as it goes. Everything about this woman screams insecure. If she weren’t, there would be no need to constantly defend her choice of husband, remind everyone that she is “classy”, or label/name drop all the time. Proof of this was the restaurant scene where she botched the names of items on the menu multiple times. In short, she is nothing but a bumpkin with a little bit of education & money who looks down her nose at folks like NeNe.

        Kandi needs to stop talking through her teeth & quit buying hair pieces from the same guy that supplies Eddie Long with his. That Woody Woodpecker mess is not a good look. Kim is Kim. I don’t agree with what she does but I can’t be mad at her cause she’s honest enough to put it all out there. She does need to bust her kids’ asses a couple of times before they really get out of hand.

        Can’t wait to meet Cynthia next week & see how she fits into this mess of a show.

  17. Ginny Morris says:

    OMG! I am laughing so hard! Who needs to watch the show when we have you!! Thanks so much for making my day!

  18. ilovelynn says:

    OMG! I don’t watch this show and now I don’t need to! you crack me up! fabulous recap, keep up the good work. are you doing anything on the dc finale?

  19. Sardonica says:

    I don’t watch the Atlanta people but I am enjoying the recaps here. I am sure they are better than the actual show like the DC recaps. Anxioulsy awaiting RHBH next week. I want to see the real money of the RH people. I am sick of scam artists…NJ / DC. Heck if I could wish integrity, heart and soul away I could play that game. Nah, I would be snickering during the entire taping. I think it is tape, I hope it isn’t a waste of film. Nah, none of this is a waste. So much fun!

  20. Sardonica says:

    Plus I learn about quilts and Twitter and IP addys and fugambiolcious stuff . Lots of new words. And from yesterday How To Troll 101. Ya fruity nutcakes

  21. Need a Hobby says:

    As short, irreverent and funny blog about when Nene & Kim allegedly tag teamed Dwight in a hotel lobby last April:

    http://conversations.blackvoices.com/entertainment/99435682aaea4564b24369ed6fc90973/NeNe–Kim-vs-Dwight/5a09b4ebd93d4049bb6742e371338891?sn=0

  22. Need a Hobby says:

    David Gilmore (“Pretty on the Outside” blog) comments on Dwight’s claims that he spent $30K on Sheree’s fashion show and, according to Kim, said he loaned Greg $10K:

    “Also returning is Duh-wight Eubanks. I personally have had dealings with him and when he said that he’d given SheRee 30K for her clothing line and it was alleged that he’d loaned 10K to NeNe’s husband Greg, it makes me say girl please! That’s all I’m going to say about that. Welcome back Duh-wight, you do bring a lot of fun to the party!”

    Doesn’t appear as if Gilmore gives such claims any credence. Full blog here:

    http://prettyontheoutside.typepad.com/gilmore/2010/10/the-real-housewives-of-atlanta-those-peaches-are-ripe.html#more

  23. MickeyMouth says:

    I want to buy NeNe a 360° mirror. And could we send Kim’s daughter the Countess’s manners book (she’s not using it ).

    • Sardonica says:

      I don’t know who these people are but if you want to torture them send the song along with the book. I almost want to buy the book for good laughs. It is like this you have a problem, you pick up a bible and get spiritual help, then you put it down and pick up the Countess Lulucy book and laugh your a$$ off. All about balance.

  24. WindyCityWondering says:

    Here is the reason RHOA is the best in the franchise: 1)none are housewives or professional career women in any way shape or form except for Kandi ; 2) none are truly stylish, wear appropriate size or outfits that flatter their bodies so looking like a cartoon is standard; 3) they like to fight and gossip without apology and 4) they love what they are – stars in their own minds! Now we have two new divas and sides will be taken – just can’t wait for the catty chaos. They bring the drama in a comedic form and we can’t help but laugh.

    • Sardonica says:

      Almost makes me want to catch up. How many seasons do I have to endure?

      • OneMoreInBoston says:

        oh fer chrisakes- just bite the bullet and watch the re runs, that way you can sit with the cool kids in the cafeteria, and we can all play with the trollies together.

        • Sangfroid says:

          No Sardonica!
          Don’t look into the eyes of the Gorgons.
          Run, don’t walk, flee back to the grace of NJ, the sophistication of the OC , the sensitivity of DC or the comfortable down home-iness of NYC.
          Don’t rot your brain with the ATL.

          • tuzentswurth says:

            I’m thinking of doing the same thing, going back to remedial RH of Atlanta.

          • Sangfroid says:

            Ouch!
            Hey, it was sarcasm with a tie in to Greek Mythology as we now have Phaedra in the ATL.
            Medusa with her wacky hair of snakes was a Gorgon. A look at her and you turn to stone.
            I know, if you have to explain it isn’t funny.
            I will seek comfort in a large helping offoy gra.

    • Rusty says:

      Kandi is so NOT. Have you checked out that jacked-the-f-up hair of hers? I like Kandi . . . but professional? Not so much. I am assuming WindyCity, that you are basing your opinion on her success. Success is one thing . . .

      • WindyCityWondering says:

        Kandi has a career that requires Talent and some business saavy! Her hair is definately jacked up both in the cut and color – and she did manage to find an extra butt since last season but the others are without talent and rely on other people to support their silly selves. The two new ones will add to this delicious diva disaster.

    • Amber...Real Wife says:

      @ WCW

      This really is a definition for ALL the housewives franchises. They all dress inappropriately, aren’t truly stylish, with a few exceptions, love to fight without apology, and all believe they are stars!

      The working housewives are Bethenny, Ramona, Alex, Vicky, Jeanna, Stacie, Lynda and Kandi.

  25. MickeyMouth says:

    Totally off topic, but awesome:

  26. crazysweet says:

    again I giggled out loud.
    Sheree wants an oscar.
    Epheadrine doesn’t know how to play the Bravo game yet…class with the countess would have been SO much better and scored her many brownie points.
    Dwight’s a tiger, “No one puts baby in the corner!

    Please do a recap of the Salehi’s & NeNe on WWHL! lol

  27. Adgirl says:

    @RCH OMG your pix and commentary made me laugh so hard my Milwaulkee’s Best nearly came out of my nose.

    Phaedra & Apollo (am I watching a soap opera set in ancient Greece?).

    So, SHE wants to name HER baby something like Billy, Tom or Mary?

    What? Why not Zeus, Prometheus or Athena?

  28. Hi guys!
    I’m sad I had to miss out today! I didn’t even check twitter yet.
    I see that the troll is still posting on the Dina blog. I don’t think it noticed the new blog, so everybody whisper very quietly so it doesn’t find us in here.

    Thank you so much everyone for all the compliments! I’m glad you all enjoyed it :)
    But for those of you who don’t watch the show and only read my recaps, I have to warn you that I tend to embellish the truth and down right make shit up sometimes.
    Thank you all for reading!

    Tam – So happy to see you back!!

    • Tam5115 says:

      Aww, thanks, RCH. I’m glad to be back. OT: Did y’all see Google today? The image that makes the O’s in Google is a self portrait of John Lennon. Today would be his 70th birthday.

      It’s my avatar in many places on the internet and also a tattoo my daughter and I have on our forearms. I’m also known as LennonFan on Yuku, or Lenny by those with affection. LOL

      I have to catch up with these Atlanta Ho’s. my RL drug me into oblivion as to what is up on cable. I missed SO much, man, and this was the kind of drama that would have been so amusing to me in my time of distress. LOL Still distressed, but determined to see the humor and keep my chin up.

      • tuzentswurth says:

        Loved Lennon! Still get sad and frustrated. John Lennon and Freddie Mercury should still be with us, the world would be a better place.
        Where the hell is the teardrop icon?

        • Tam5115 says:

          Totally agree. I recall where I was and what I was doing when Lennon was assassinated, just like those before me recall the JFK assassination. I was 18 months old when JFK was killed, so I give myself a break for not remembering.

          December 8 is when I reserve the day for sadness. 30 friggin’ years this year, unbelievable!

          I just saw what was left of Queen performing Queen songs with members of Bad Company. SORRY… the vocalist could not measure up, although a good singer. There has to be a vocalist out there who could come closer. If Journey could find a pseudo Steve Perry, there has to be something closer to Freddy.

    • Sangfroid says:

      RCH, because of you, we don’t have to watch and your version is better.

  29. marjie 75 says:

    RCH, Loved the recap. I am so excited for the new housewives takes my mind off the old ones. Why cant Nene keep her hair long hate her hair style, makes her look ugh… and Kandi, she is most likely going through real PTSD. Upside down pineapple cake sounds interesting….. however trying to lose the fat on my belly! So I can eat sugar again when I watch my shows….::)

  30. I'malady,fatass! says:

    Damn !!!!!!! I missed the first half. That Sheree is still sooooooooooo full of herself.ugh!

    • Humbruh says:

      I have a feeling Sheree’s ego & Phaedra’s ego will be going head to head this season to see who’s is bigger. Can’t stand either one of these fake broads.

  31. WindyCityWondering says:

    I think Teresa should move to Atlanta – can you imagine the language barrier and the fights they could have? Teresa vs NeNe – clash of the titans….Not to mention a whole new community to fleece!

  32. Sangfroid says:

    Oh perish the thought!
    We already have major pollution issues here. Please don’t send her down to add to the problem.

  33. Waxdiva says:

    Didn’t anyone else notice Fade-ra’s mispronounciation of ‘fois gras?’ That Fade-ra is one klassee HW. Just like Terry Joo-dice (bet she don’t like bein’ called Terry!)…. I’m classy, ain’t I Joe? Joe, ain’t I classy, huh, Joe… Joe! Ain’t I classy!?

  34. oopsy says:

    Thanks, RCH. I don’t even watch the shows any more, I like your recaps better. I am tempted, however, to see firsthand what is going on with with this Hotlanta train wreck!

  35. Need a Hobby says:

    I actually find the Atlanta RH’s mostly entertaining….and perhaps the most entertaining of the franchise. Because they are funny. Intentionally & unintentionally. It’s cartoony like WindyCity said….and the women really don’t care, they “get” the gig. It’s an alternate universe in which a Michael Lohan can pop out at any moment (and did during last year’s restaurant brawl with Kim and Sheree, much to NeNe’s bewilderment: “Lindsay Lohan’s daddy??? How random is that???”). It’s the Mad Magazine version of the Real Housewives.

    NJ HW in contrast, ya got the Manzo nee Lauritas who pretend like they’ve been in a convent all their lives and are simply horrified at the mere whiff of impropriety. Oh please….it’s just hypocrisy. (I saw Caroline on TV defend her good friend serial adulterer, alleged stalker, convicted liar, and misappropriator of public funds and resources, Bernie Kerik….I saw it, right there on my TV. There was Caroline on her moral high horse sticking up for this sleazeball crook.) Toss Teresa on the hypocrisy pile too. Here are these folks behaving badly themselves, while trying to sell folks on how proper and righteous they are. And on the other side you got the disturbed Danielle and Kim G. At least Danielle when she was trying to sell the idea of her own “reality” show made some reference to “the character she developed and portrayed” on RHONJ. Which is what it was: a character, a performance. Just like the others. At least Danielle admits it. Kim G? That chick probably scares Danielle.

    As for Jac, I suspect she may be the “everyperson” of the NJ bunch. She also has the perspective of both the outsider and insider in the group. If she could freely speak her mind without Caroline ostracizing her from the fambly, she could have been the Greek chorus of the show. But she’s got a real life and the show’s not worth messing that up, of course. I think she signed on for fun, not because she wants to be a “star.”

    For laugh out loud funny, and outrageous in a drag queen performance sort of way, in my book Atlanta wins in the RH sweepstakes.

  36. Candace says:

    The new “teams” on RHONJ should very interesting. The balance of power will be completely different. The show cannot exist without the one ostracized or maligned character, and I am willing to make a prediction.

    I believe that Teresa is being groomed for the position of the rejected one this time around.

    I believe that she was allowed enough leeway to make herself look as bad as she wanted to and next season is when Bravo will have the editing department make mincemeat out of her. Between alienated relatives and looming financial disaster, I think JJ and Tree are looking at treatment only dished out to Danielle in the past.

    What does anyone else think about who will be the rejected outcast next time around?

    • OneMoreInBoston says:

      I hope against all hope that it’s the puppet master-Caroline Corleone

    • Humbruh says:

      I soooo wanna see Tree get served! I think the powers that be over at Bravo were, in their own way, trying to set her up to be the next bad guy all last season. They made it a point of showing Tree saying one thing & doing another (ie. talking about scaling back due to the economy then dragging her parents all over Venice to look for “Chanel’s” & that overpriced Christening). They also made it a point of showing Caroline’s frustration with Tree’s quirks.

      If it all turns out the way we are thinking it will, we are in for some great tv!

    • TT in OC says:

      I never have any urge to watch NJ before. All three predictions give me enough reason to watch next season.

      Again, RCH should get commission from Bravo.

  37. Candace says:

    Humbruh, I think you’re right and that Bravo was quietly setting the stage for T’s eventual downfall.

    Teresa has another liabilty. Her particular hijinks are very ill timed, in that the general public has no patience with people who are trying to game the system. Too many people are working too hard, doing without and squeezing each dime to feel anything but angry towards grifters and financial cheaters.

    She and Joe are living, breathing examples of how the financial system came to the sorry state it’s in….too many people willing to gamble on a financial house of cards and hurting others in the process.

    I think Bravo will ride that wave of public sentiment and T will feel the sting of unfriendly editing this season.

  38. Squirrels says:

    Between JZ and Kelly I lean toward getting rid of the loony toon. JZ finally figured out how to shut her yap (although she has yet to admit or apologize for the Susan Saunders scandal). BSC just keeps on living her delusion and tonight when by coincidence ended up at the same restaurant as Silex, she diss’d Alex when Alex approached BSC’s table to say hello.

    “At Blue Parrot & @Kikilet just walked in & waved Hiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!! to @McCordAlex & me. Do we have to go & say hello?

    @bravoblog: @SimonvanKempen @Kikilet @McCordAlex wow, a little rude Simon. especially since @’d her. way to be a gentleman!

    Well Alex went over to her table & wasn’t welcomed. So who was rude? RT ”

    So, it appears dear sweet Bat Shit Crazy only wears love when there is something in it for her. For that alone, I say let the powers that be stick it to her.

  39. Jennifer says:

    Can I just ask WTF was Kim wearing to the shoes on plates hotel party? Did she think that veil that started at her waist would really hide that fat ass? Maybe she can loan it to Woody to cover up that ‘do’

    • Tralena says:

      Wasn’t that outfit ridiculous. It may be okay to wear to Walmart to get groceries but not a party like that. She is a strange one and that HAIR – YUK!

      • Jennifer says:

        Seriously.. she wore her wig to go for a jog. Then pilfered a beer from a shopping center and drank it on the parking lot bench. Hello Trailer Park – one of your finest has escaped, and I completely understand why you wouldn’t want it, I mean her, back.

  40. TT in OC says:

    RCH, haven’t read much from you for a couple days. Hope everything is okay.

  41. Squirrels says:

    For those who want the lowdown via documentary re: Salahis, gate crashers extraordinaire?

  42. Sardonica says:

    OMG!
    It almost looks as if RCH has a life. Shame on you! What ABOUT US, the RH crackheads? Now listen up, RCH. Get your sorry a** back in that doublewide of yours. Tap into that box ‘o wine and heat up that spoon of pure RH, add some water? light a flame under it, girl, and produce some product that will relieve us, the addicts YOU created from our heebie jeebies ( An aside: I actually googled ‘how to make crack for this” yes, I am lame and I don’t care. I didn’t have the time to really read it but I hope you get the point, kinda a long process. Much like writing this blog, I guess… back to the comment ) I am in some kinda fumbulagata nutcakeplace in my head and I need my daily fix in order to make the people in my world happy. HEY, I need a life and I am a BAD wife and mother and person in general and if I don’t have that ‘fix’ I tend to hang out in the basement of my trailer ( which is not easy to do, btw… requires tons of digging ) Also, My welfare check for all the kids I popped out is stuck down at the P.O and I can’t get my fat a** to the P.O. because I am busy bedazzling pumpkins ’cause that damn Dina Queen Of The Crazyjungle keeps yapping about it on twitter sayin’ I have to decorate my trailerpark for the spooky holidays and all, and my RCH deal’ah isn’t around to feed me. Please help. Thank you very much. Your friend in RH, Sardonica xxx ( feed me )
    P.S. Hope all is well. Enjoy your real…real life! We will somehow survive. Maybe start a peer support group. No prob.

    • I know! I’m sorry!!! I’ve just been so busy. But I’ve been checking in every now and then! I’m a bad crack dealer… I know. I got you hooked and then abandoned you. But I’ll be back soon! I seriously tried to write a DC recap for like 3 days but it’s just sooo boring I never finished it. Does anyone still care about DC?

      The quilt goes with the email address. I don’t like the green one, the other one was better.

      • Need a Hobby says:

        Don’t apologize, you got to do your stuff.

        We’ve just been rampaging and looting our local neighborhoods. Kind of like the Vikings, only tidier and we recycle. Also hanging out at other boards and resisting the urge to drop some bad JUMLA! on their asses. Now we gotta a whole new language to play wid. Yo.
        :D

      • tuzentswurth says:

        If you can finish DC, I’d love it and it would keep us off your back for a while, you know how mindless we become after new crack!

      • Sardonica says:

        Now that I have my turquoise back I am more comfortable typoing and reading posts. I understand the RHAT is boring stuff. Make up your own storyline and I am sure it will be more interesting than the real show. I know I will watch-read it. It is way past my bedtime for during the week. Last night I actually had a dream about setting up twitter page. I blame you my little fruity nutcake fumwhatever blog twit dealer. Me? I am counting the hours until RHBH. Now that will be some primo crack.

    • tuzentswurth says:

      Shaking, cold, gray ashen color, wandering around other boards, twitter, need fix.
      Hoping for an Atl recap soon, then I can watch the show after I have a standard to measure it by!
      Have fun RCH, we’ll amuse each other till you get back, but you are missed!

  43. Sardonica says:

    Hey, my quilt changed? is it the fact I changed my E-addy? this is not only my crackden, it is also Internet Crack University ( ICU ) …blog / twitter 101. The nic Sardonica was already taken when I started the twit thing a few wks ago. ( another RCH thing, ya bad influence you! ) I still don’t “get it’ and I don’t have that much time to figure it out. ( I will survive, somehow, I think, well maybe. Also, KKB has me blocked and what did I do?I have only been on 3 weeks and clueless on the twit, just typoing out my own kinda crazy that cracks me up.

    • tuzentswurth says:

      sounds like me, what is your twit name?

      • Sardonica says:

        I am ‘catsamewsed’ and have been attempting to twit you. I am clueless on twit, as I am also clueless in most things I do online.

        • tuzentswurth says:

          OH Yipeee, we were just twitting! By jove, I think we’ve got it. Love the little kitty, and the name, didn’t know it was you. I’m going to have to have a memo board to connect people, I’m twitless too. :)
          And good to see you’re feeling like your old turquoise self!

  44. Sardonica says:

    If possible can I have that turquoise quilt back? I am too old to retrain back into the blogworkforce and when the trolls steal my nic I scan for turquoise.

  45. Sangfroid says:

    Thank you for those kind words.
    Actually I was inspired by your painting and Mickey’s jack-o-lantern, so I stitched up a little quilt.
    It’s easy.
    If you hover over a quilt block, you have the option of copying the image. You can then paste the quilt block into Word.
    I used 9 blocks. My old pink block is in the center. If you look closely you might recognize several of the others.
    Next, copy the 9 block and paste it into paint. Save it as a jpeg, crop with your photo editor of choice and then you can upload it as your gravatar.

  46. Sardonica says:

    Wot?

  47. Sardonica says:

    That is like err work. I don’t do that on internet. Tsk tsk.
    However, if anyone cares to make me a pretty quilt you can consider me a cause and stitch me one up. I suffer from internet deficit disorder IDD (iot). I may be tax deductible. One never knows

  48. Sardonica says:

    Turquoise back. Happy

  49. TT in OC says:

    Dear all, I am usually very bashful in showing my work. However, your kind words give me encouragement and so I uploaded a bunch of my paintings. You can see them by clicking on my avatar. Some of them are original and some are duplications of old masters (Monet, Manet, Homer etc). Hope you like them.

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