The Real Boring Housewives of New Jersey

I’m going to do my recap a little differently this time. Since the show was way too boring to go over scene by scene, I’m going to go over it character by character.

Let’s start with this train wreck mess Teresa.

We can add bidet to the growing list of words this dim witted doorknob is not able to pronounce correctly. She knows -sorta- what it’s called, but I’m not sure she knows what it’s used for. When her daughter said it was a little sink she didn’t correct her, instead she said “Yeah it’s a little sink.”
But it’s ok, because as Teresa explained, she has only been speaking the English language since kindergarten. So now it all makes sense.
If this woman speaks Italian then I am fluent in Taiwanese. I don’t need to understand Italian to be able to tell that she isn’t speaking that language properly either.

Someone should call Child Protective Services because the dresses she made those girls wear to dinner were child abuse. And she paraded her family in like they were Royals attending a meal with their loyal subjects in order to formally present the newest air to the throne. This woman is so fucking delusional. I just want to reach through the screen and shake some sense into her…. or the life out of her. Either one would be fine with me.

There must be a law against this, no?

Oh no! Kiki is designing hats now!

Poor Joe. Some people think he is a thief and a criminal. Maybe he is. But I feel bad for him. I think he is an insecure man who was desperate to make his wife happy with material things. He wanted to play Bobby to her Jill. Unfortunately, he ain’t no Bobby Zarin. She doesn’t play a bad Jill though.
To his credit, he isn’t sitting on his ass counting the money he stole. He is working long hours and trying to be careful with how much he spends. I don’t think Joe had any fun on that trip. I don’t think him “bitchin” on the bus was funny or amusing. I think it was sad. And also incredibly inappropriate because there were young children present. The stress had clearly gotten the best of him. He was carrying the weight of 11 million dollars on his shoulders and his wife just kept piling it on and telling him to stop complaining.

She had to say “I love you” three times in a prodding tone before he finally said it back. And even then it didn’t sound too convincing. Check out the body language:

One bill Teresa and Joe are justified in not paying is the one to the fertility clinic. Clearly they made a big mistake with one of those pregnancies.
It reminds me of this song:

Albert calls Teresa and Joe’s kids “special”. Not special, “special“. Lol.
Albert was actually likable in this scene. But I have a big problem with something here:

He has his shoes not only on the bed, but on his jacket! And not only does Caroline not say anything, she does this:

Boots! Boots on the bed and on the jacket!
I never said anything before, but I have a problem with all of these housewives wearing their shoes around the house, especially the ones who have young children crawling around on hands and knees, but this is just taking it to a whole new level.

Chris and Caroline are FINALLY in a scene together. Does anyone else notice that we never see Chris have any sort of interaction with either of his sisters? I forget that they are related sometimes. Even in this scene they stand on opposite sides of their parents and don’t speak directly to each other.

Caroline says that she would have never eaten the sausage had she known that it came from the slaughter room. That sausage she ate in Italy was probably the most humanely killed sausage she has ever eaten in her life. Where does she think the ham that her children like to throw around the kitchen comes from? It comes from a place a lot worse than that little slaughtering room. I encourage anyone reading this to please click the “Social Vibe” widget on the right side of my blog with the cow on it. The only thing it will cost you is a 2 minutes of your time.

This basically sums up Jacqueline in this episode:

Jacqueline says: “If one of Teresa’s kids didn’t have a bow on their head, she would make one out of toilet paper.” If you saw the cartoon I made of Teresa and Danielle then you know why I’m laughing my ass off right now.

After watching Jacqueline tell Joe she’d make him squeal like a pig while holding that feather duster thing, I can totally picture her all dressed up in black leather and spanking Chris with a paddle while making him kiss her boot. Maybe that’s why he’s so quiet all the time? Because he only speaks when his master allows him?

Danielle’s vocabulary word of the week: Proverbial
I don’t have much else to say about Danielle in this episode. I don’t believe she is really looking for her birth mother. She loves her “Sicilian woman from a prominent family” story and doesn’t want to admit that she is really the daughter of a Puerto Rican prostitute from Newark.

Next week Caroline who has been so good at resisting temptation, finally gives into her desires and meets with the object of her obsession: Danielle. For the first time this entire season, I am actually excited for next weeks episode.

Teresa still hasn’t put her blog up yet. I guess she is trying to get all her lies and stories in order before she posts it.

UPDATE: Here is Teresa’s Bravo Blog for this episode

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51 Responses to The Real Boring Housewives of New Jersey

  1. Abby Someone says:

    Hilarious!! I love the make up breakdown. It really is Joan Collins circa 1982.

    I couldn’t agree more about the shoes thing. We keep house slippers by the front door. (thank you my Korean friends for that tip.) :)

  2. MomsThoughts says:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE (in fake Teresa/Fran Drescher voice) your blog! The boots and shoes on the jacket – hilarious! I would be yelling at my kids if they ever did that. lol

    The bidet. Joe declares “We don’t have them in America anymore”…as if we did have them but evolved beyond that! lol. Joe and TREE didn’t watch the episode where Danielle is showing her house to the realtor. Danielle went into this whole thing about how important a bidet is…and I am sure she is right given how dirty her dark place is….yeeesh. Hopefully she has the “turbo bidet”! yuck.

    The screaming, screetching, whining, bratty kids were giving me a headache. I would have been overboard on that cruise ship before ever setting foot on terra firma Italiano. Of course no one should be surprised the girls were constantly seen hitting each other and fighting – remember the “no lunch until you punch” scene at the karate studio – GREAT JOB JOE!

    And why are these women still friends? CLEARLY Teresa is a user. She uses everyone in her life. Her husband is to provide. (epic fail) Her friends are to babysit or go to lunch with. Her parents = babysit or bailout. We hear her say she doesn’t care if Caroline is fed up with her brats or that Caroline is sick “that’s on her”. Nice friend TREE. She tells us her loving strategy to deal with Joe when he is stressed: “I ignore Joe when he is like that”. And she just flat out doesn’t give a shit about old people – because clearly they are useless to her. She has no problem telling every one this on camera either. SO WHY ARE THEY STILL FRIENDS WITH THIS SELFISH SELF-CENTER DUM BASS? Seriously. Can any one tell me why Caroline or Dina are friends with her? I get it with Jacqueline – she would be friends with a rock if the rock wanted a friend. But the other two – I dont’ get it.

    I am not a violent person – but Teresa just pisses me off. I would love to see her get what’s coming to her. I am sure we all know ppl like her – they use and use and it never catches up with them. They never have to pay the piper. They cheat and dump all their problems on others and never give it a second thought. Just once, for all the good, honest, decent, hard working people in the world, I would love to see Teresa really suffer. I want to see her move into he apartment over the pizza shop, wear clothes from Kohls and put an apron on every morning and work 8 hrs serving pizza to ppl. THEN go home and clean the apartment and cook and shop for the family. No weekly salon visits, no nail appointments, no fancy cars or fancy lunches, no ball gowns or party dresses…..just an ordinary life of a working wife married to an ordinary joe.

    • debbie says:

      Put Your Hair Up. Great Blog!
      I’ve been wondering for awhile now if anyone ever tells TREE that shes an asshole.. I find it hard to believe that Caroline, being so ‘outspoken and honest’ has never told her how offensive she is. I find myself getting irate when Tree is on my screen.. It’s mortifying to me that I let this woman get to me.. More mortifying that I don’t turn the set off..
      I can’t wait for this season to be over and hope, like you, that next season she gets her comeuppance..Please let it Happen!!!!
      Yesterday, she tweeted she would be on George Lopez last night, then tweeted she wouldn’t..She told him to ‘go scratch himself’ because he wanted her to do a mafia skit.. She thought it was inappropriate. Yet, she doesn’t find any of her own behavior lacking in propriety. She really makes me ill. She did do the show last night, after she tweeted that he felt bad for upsetting her and changed the skit.. delusional woman.. argghhhh..Of Course he doesn’t want to upset her.’She’s NIIIIIIce’
      One more thing..if she does indeed need to move out of that masoleum into a ‘used’ apartment, I’d love it.. But I’d worry about where her parents would live.. I don’t think she’d be too concerned though. Except for losing child care and cleaning services. Maybe she’d let mom visit on cleaning days.
      And those poor kids clothes!! Yikes! Not only are they horrible but in all their horrid glory, there is no room for individuality.. She dresses them all the same form 10 years down to the baby…Maybe she can’t have more than one disastrous idea at a time..
      Enough for now… my blood pressure is rising.

  3. I’m glad you guys agree with me about the shoes. I see it so often on these shows, even New York. I remember Ramona walking on the white carpet in her bedroom with boots on! It drives me nuts, but the jacket thing pushed me overboard. Lol.

    I don’t understand why Caroline is friends with Teresa either. I agree about Jac and a rock. Lol. I think Dina is friends with her because they are very similar, Dina is just better at hiding it. But Caroline… I don’t get it. She said she was closer in age to Teresa’s parents then to Teresa, she clearly gets annoyed by Teresa, and doesn’t approve of her children’s behavior or the way Teresa is raising them. They don’t seem to have anything in common. Even though Dina thinks being Adrianna’s Godmother makes them officially family, it really doesn’t. So I don’t get why Caroline not only puts up with her crap, but DEFENDS it.

    Also, I was right about Teresa’s Italian. @Phoenixsjb sent me this tweet:
    @PutYourHairUp omg2funny.ur so rite teresa does NOT speak italian. i do & its embarrassing 2 hear garbled incomplete words & 2 word sentence

  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention The Real Boring Housewives of New Jersey | -- Topsy.com

  5. Delia says:

    This was one fabulous blog, I just read it for a second time Cant get enough. hahahha, great job

      • BonBon says:

        Sweetie,
        The only reason that Caroline puts up with Teresa is because they have a common enemy. You know people like that:In order to be friends or even lovers, they need to have an enemy to hate.
        Good news is this: Danielle will not be back next year, but the 3 of them will. Bravo has already begun shooting.Hmmm. Wonder why?
        They’ve got a goldmine of MELODRAMA when Teresa’s precious possessions go up on the block and they lose their bankruptcy case and have to start paying the poor people back who they rooked. And then, the cherry on the sundae will be them moving into that apartment above the pizzeria which Joe does not own.
        Can’t wait….
        Yes, whoever said that Jacqueline would be friends with a rock is right. So, more than likely she will be friends with Teresa. Afterall, T always has a stash of junkfood for J to stuff her plasticine face. That more than makes up for the fact that T has no scruples or intelligence. Who said :Like attracts Like?
        With Danielle out of the picture, I do wonder how long it will be before Caroline tries to distance herself from this scum and scummy’s hunney?
        Of course, if another housewife enters the equation who can become an enemy, Caroline will still be behind Teresa. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see, aye?

  6. JenD says:

    I agree with you when it comes to Chris and his sisters. I have a feeling he stay away from them. Danielle said during season 1 that some of Dina and Caroline other brothers and sisters do not talk to them , due to their drama affecting their marriages. She said the sisters are trouble, Danielle had it in her blog last year.

    • That’s interesting. I don’t remember that.
      I’m gonna check and see if I can find it.
      It does seem odd that he has zero interaction with them. For as tight knit and “thick” as Caroline always insists her family is, you would never know they are even related if they didn’t say it in interviews. I even remember in season one at the last dinner Chris – when he finally opened his mouth- stood up for Danielle and told her that she was welcome at his house anytime.

      • BonBon says:

        Do you remember also Chris never saying that he loves Dina…even though Caroline kept pushing him to say so? It was a very very awkward moment after that “Last Supper”.

  7. @twilighttwitti says:

    I love your blogs, they are so funny. I didn’t get a chance to watch this weeks show so you were able to fill me in. But I am anxious to see and the ugly outfits Teresa had made for the girls. Poor kids they really think they look cute wearing them. Got to give it to Teresa to try and upstage and show off to her Italian family. Ridiculous!
    Joe doesn’t look like he even likes his wife much less love her. He’s getting some on the side and the truth will come out soon.

  8. Laura aka Just done says:

    I loved this blog…laughed the whole way through! I think my fav was the breakdown of make-up, and yes, the shoes drive me crazy too. I’ll never understand that. Great job – 5 stars!

    Oh, and I hate Teresa!

  9. BonBon says:

    BTW..hilarious recap and you got EXACTLY the way Jac says Dunyelle. Exactly. Also, her preoccupation with her. Parfait. I find you very very funny.

  10. Tam5115 says:

    It’s a good observation about Chris. It appears they aren’t the tight knit, all for one, one for all, family that Caroline claims they are. But really, that’s what bothers me about Caroline… it’s like she thinks she’s Tony Soprano or something. The big boss. That’s the only reason she could have to meet with Danielle, the chance to be the godfather… again.

    You do not set up meetings with people like Danielle to tell them to get out of your life. You simply PUT them out of your life. No meeting, no confrontation, no name calling… just disengage completely. It’s really quite simple. If someone is pushing, pushing, pushing and you stop pushing back, the gas escapes the balloon, so to speak. They have nothing to push and fall flat on their face!

    Danielle cannot be reasoned with, you can’t use logic with her. She perceives an attack and goes on the offensive to be defensive. The solution is to remove yourself from the equation without discussion. Once you vocalize something to her, you become the target.

    No, the only reason Caroline has to meet with Danielle is to try and flex her muscle. The entire thing is beyond stupid! What is Danielle going to do if you refuse to engage with her? Ooooh, talk about you? Who cares? Sleep with your husband? Sorry honey, that would be on your husband and not Danielle. DROP IT! For the love of God, who is obsessed here?

    I can’t even talk about Teresa right now. She needs a good ass kicking, bitch slap and dose of reality! An apartment above the pizzeria is too damn good for her at this point.

    • But the thing is: Why would Caroline meet with her to get her out of her life – she isn’t in her life. Danielle is the one who avoids grocery stores and entire neighborhoods in an attempt to stay away from them. Danielle is the one who didn’t want to go to the fashion show, and then Kim had to talk her into it. Danielle is the one who tried to walk away from Teresa and Jac. I don’t see Danielle being in their lives at all. The only reason she is “in” their lives is because THEY bring her in by talking about her, befriending her friends, trying to get info on her, engaging her in public and basically just obsessing over her…. It’s all them. Now Caroline has to meet her to put an end to it? Tell Jac and Teresa to stop talking about her and it’s done.
      I used to like Caroline but not anymore. I don’t think she is any better than the rest of them, she just hides it better. As history has proven, sometimes it takes 3 seasons for a persons true colors to come out. Caroline is not as wise and mature and “above it all” as she claims. And her constant defense of Teresa: Puh – leeze. Her whole “thick as thieves” “defend my family to the end” “hurt one of mine and I’ll kill one of yours” attitude is getting old. Chill out Caroline. This isn’t a Mafia war here. It’s petty gossip and high school drama. Get over yourself.

  11. Tam5115 says:

    That was exactly what I was trying to get at. Who is obsessed here? It’s not Danielle.

    Teresa deliberately instigated the fight at the fashion show. I got news for her… Nobody believes she’s a nice person. She’s a bitch! Not only that, she’s a liar and a thief. She also dresses like the prostitution whore she calls Danielle. Danielle may be coo-coo, but she dresses with much more class. Six of one, half dozen of another.

    • I just watched the previews on Bravo.com.
      O-M-G
      Caroline is actually sitting at the dinner table claiming how horrible Danielle is and “why won’t she leave us alone bla bla bla” for pressing charges against Ashely.
      Ashley pulls Danielle’s hair out of her head, and they turn it around and cry “poor us, why is she going after the children!”
      Now I dislike Caroline even more than I did in my last comment.
      How dare Danielle want justice for having her hair ripped out! The nerve of that woman!
      Like I said in my last comment, Caroline is just as ridiculous as the rest of them, she just hides it better… until now.
      And please pay attention to Chris’s facial expressions when you watch the dinner scene. Something is up with him…

      • Tam5115 says:

        She sticks up for Teresa, Jacqueline, Dina and their offspring. It pissed me right off from day one when she said Ashley did the wrong thing for the right reason. NO! She did the wrong thing and there was no right reason. It’s like on the surface she appears to be this wonderful, wise and kind woman… but when you really listen to her, she should never be giving advice to anyone.

        Ashley deserves more than she will ever get out of this. That’s the only way she would learn, to see that there are consequences for your actions.

        I just think that Teresa is going to get away with all her BS too. Thank God I do not live in Jersey.

        • I’m all for loyalty. I really am. And I understand sticking up for your family. But the thing is, you are supposed to stick up for them in public, but then in private you are supposed to tell them that they are wrong and what they need to change. Caroline reinforces their bad behavior. That’s not loyalty- that’s doing a huge disservice to the morons who look to you to tell them what to do.

          • JenD says:

            Chris hates his sisters, i just have that feeling. Dina and Caroline seems close andz Caroline probably arrange
            the marriage for Dina. Danielle knows their business through Jacqueline. Dina was suppose to be the
            star of the show, but Danielle did not get the memo. But Dina is not interesting at all.

      • BonBon says:

        But, darling, Danielle’s crimes are UP here and Ashley’s are down here (ala Kellyland). Or is it the other way around? Can you understand my undying dislike of cowardly, ignoramus, immature, schlemiel, botoxed frozenface Jacqueline.
        I can’t figure out who is more of a waste of human space: Jax, Ash or “Tree”. I wish I could stop watching them. What is this with me? I think maybe I need a lobotomy and/or someone to hide the frigging clicker.
        I am hoping that Caroline caught onto “Tree” as it sounds like it from Tree’s latest lyingsackofshite blog entry. What supercalafragilistic idiots all! I cannot wait to see the auction of all of her junk and maybe we’ll be lucky: they’ll have to get rid of that horribly hard, cold mansion they call home.
        I just want to see Teresa get what’s due after all of her bragging about this and that and that and this and the running around with 10 million poor chinchillas on her ugly assed (ala O.J.) body.
        And to think: she doesn’t even make pizza dough from scratch but devotes a whole chapter in “her” book to the making of it.
        The best term I can think that describes that white trash narcissist is FUGAZI (AKA: PHONY BALONEY).
        Parfait.

  12. Meg1964 says:

    OMG… I have at least a thousand thoughts running through my head right now. There’s no way I’m going to be able to put anything into writing and have it make sense.

    First – Great Blog! I literally sat here howling with laughter as I read it. I grabbed my phone and texted Tam5115 to read it, but I see that she beat me to it. I love the comments on the pictures. AND – I love that I’m not the only one that can’t stand the way Jacq says Danielle’s name. I cringe everytime I hear it.

    Danielle – first – let me say that I didn’t like Danielle last season. And I despised her very early this season, for her general skankiness, and because I felt she had wronged the others. But – after seeing how this season started to play out, I found myself feeling a little sorry for Danielle. I’ve read every blog, by everyone of the NJHW’s this season. There is definitely a progression in Danielle’s blogs. She started out bitter and haggish, but now she is all “love and light”. Hey – at least she’s not still bad-mouthing the others. I can’t say the same for Teresa or Jacq. They continue to bash Danielle even in their blogs. It makes me want to bitch slap them. The blog that pushed me over the edge, was the one by Teresa (I don’t believe she wrote it, because she’s too damn dumb, but she submitted it as hers) that said “Fuck Haters”. You had to take the first letter from each paragraph, including the title, and that’s what it spelled. It was a deliberate message. It was a completely different style than her other blogs. And it was very obvious. Teresa lied and said she didn’t do any such thing. Of course she did. She lies about everything. The title of that blog is “Felicitations”, in case anybody wants to look it up.

    I know I’m rambling – but I’m pissed. If it is true that Danielle is off the show because the 3 bitches got together and said “It’s us or her”, then I’m really pissed at Bravo for allowing that to happen. The tides have turned this season. Everybody is not in favor of those 3 imbeciles. They’re bullies. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but dangit – I want Danielle on next season. I want Teresa on too, because I don’t see how Bravo can film around the demise of the Giudice Empire, which is all things gaudy and faux.

    Have to stop for now… short.. of.. breath… *pant*

    • Thank you. :)

      I totally agree about Danielle. I felt the same way. Watching her drive to Caroline’s like a stalker with her children in the car in ep 1 disturbed me so much, but she said that as the season progressed the reasons behind it would come out and they did. She wanted to check and see if Kim G’s car was there. Which does make sense and seems less stalker-ish than showing up at a party you weren’t invited to – which is what editing led us to believe at the time.
      Danielle is no angel, and she is def a little wacko, but I also feel sorry for her now. For all the “horrible, terrible, awful” things she has done to that family – they don’t seem to be able to name even one. Even Kim G claims Danielle wronged her. How? By sending an email telling someone to watch out for Kim after finding out how Kim stabbed her in the back? I just don’t get it. I would say it’s editing – but even in the blogs and on twitter, I still haven’t heard an explanation for what Danielle did to any of them that was SO horrible.

      I don’t belive the rumors that they 3 ladies (I use that term loosely) were asked back and Danielle wasn’t. They haven’t even finished airing this season. The story was that they got letters in the mail. Why would they get a letter? This isn’t college admission. I figure a producer would just pick up the phone and call them, then they probably meet in person to sign paper work. The only way I see it being possible that they already know Danielle isn’t coming back is if something really outrageous happened at the reunion, like she jumped across the table and attacked one of the women or something.

      • Meg1964 says:

        It bothers me that those 3 continue to say that Danielle has attacked Dina, Jacqueline, Ashley, etc., but yet can’t tell us what she did. From what we’ve actually seen, Ashley was doing her best to provoke Danielle. Then – she took it a step further, and pulled her hair. Ashley is old enough to know better. And I agree with Tam – she will not get what she deserves.

        I can’t wait to see the Reunion.

        I also can’t understand how the 3 “ladies” still have fans. I know there are a lot of idiots out there, as well as some that are uninformed – but come on – anybody that’s on Twitter or Facebook praising their love for these 3 has certainly had a chance to read about Teresa’s $11million bankruptcy, etc.

        • The thing that I just can’t comprehend is how Jersey’s rating are higher than NY.
          And Teresa actually has a lot of fans who really love her and her book is doing well.
          It makes me worried for the future of the mankind.

          • BonBon says:

            Don’t worry your pretty head. Read “The origin of Species”. Teresa and Jacqueline’s brood will be weeded out by natural selection. It’s just a matter of a little more time. Evolution takes longer than 8 weeks to prove the validitiy of some of its theories.
            We’ve seen it with the dinosaurs; we’ve seen it with Neanderthal man/woman. We will see it with the Giudices and Lauritas. Patience, my friend. Patience.

            • BonBon says:

              Oh, I forgot the Holmes’. Her new nose job will not protect her from all the bad bad Karma she has put out there. Ashley will be the first to disappear, amoeba brained and all.

            • debbie says:

              BonBon,
              I agree with you..I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….Darwin was right and Joe’s the missing link.

              • BonBon says:

                It’s kind of sad that the missing link was finally found. LOL.

                Does everyone know there is strong speculation that he has a “gumba” named Tara on the side?

  13. Tam5115 says:

    When I started watching this show, this season thanks to Meg, I didn’t really see what was so horrible about Danielle that these other women hated her so much they wanted to destroy her. What I saw was a woman who had lived a rough life at times and who was incredibly paranoid and defensive. When the episode came where she chewed out Kim D over her employee at Posche, I knew that I would never be friends with someone like Danielle, she would drain you in a very short amount of time. She needs therapy IMO

    But when I was able to see last season, I was disgusted by Caroline and her bringing in that book. Whatever happened in the past is just that, in the past. Danielle paid her debt to society (something Ashley and Teresa will never do, unfortunately) This vendetta they have against Danielle is ridiculous. If she has done so much to them, why can’t they name one significant thing she has done?

    There’s something fishy going on with all this talk of who got fired and three being called back, BEFORE the current season has even finished airing! I thought Andy said they do not make those decisions so quickly? But I haven’t heard him respond to these reports either.

    All I know is that I hope they film the Giudices going DOWN.

    • Meg1964 says:

      Well, Andy’s ass is over in Bora Bora or somewhere, sipping on fruity drinks with cute umbrellas. He probably knows what’s going on, but right now doesn’t care.

      Tam – should I apologize for turning you on to this shitfest? How bout I just send you some home-made candy around Thanksgiving? LOL

      • Tam5115 says:

        Oh, I’ll take the candy, but there’s no need to apologize. It’s given me something to obsess over during the Survivor off season. LOL

  14. Meg1964 says:

    Oh yeah.. one more comment while I’m glued to this chair. Teresa said Caroline could’ve stayed home like Dina. Ummmm… at this point, Dina is no longer part of the cast. So, I doubt Dina’s ass got an invitation. I also saw Dina say on Twitter that she didn’t go because Lexi was still in school. Ummmm.. Lexi’s ass can’t be filmed. If Dina quit the show, and Lexi can’t be filmed, would Dina have even been invited to go by Bravo?

  15. BonBon says:

    I take every single negative thing I ever said about Jacqueline back. Her real colors shone through last night.And unfortunately, so, too, did Caroline’s.

  16. bwel says:

    Those without sin may cast the first stone, right? It’s “HEIR to the throne”. Not “air to the throne” you dimwitted bimbo. If you are going to criticize people for the way they speak and their apparent lack of basic English skills, (which is perfectly fine, by the way. I do it all the time) please make sure your own rants do not contain glaring errors because when they do you are just begging to be mocked in a similar fashion.

  17. bwel says:

    Oh and also, as I continue reading, your comments become pettier and sort of pointless.

    Your outraged comments about Caroline and her husband DARING to wear their shoes indoors: how stupid!!! Do you know that this American obsession with taking your shoes off indoors is completely pointless? People started doing it in the post-war/Baby-Boomer generation where people recovering from the Depression and coming home from WWII finally had money to buy things. The suburbs were born and people left the cities and bought poorly built suburban tract houses in these planned communities but people were legitimately proud to be home owners. But this is when the horrid trend of putting plastic protectors on the couches and lampshades was born. People were not used to having money and the money they spent on things was precious and for the first time furniture and living space in the home was seen as “for show” only. People living in apartments in big cities didn’t have a living room that nobody ever used. People lived in and used every room of their home and nobody walked around in socks or bare feet because carpets were only throw rugs strewn about the home. Nobody wanted to be barefoot or in sock feet on a cold apartment floor. But now living in these houses with all this extra space and all this new (albeit tacky) furniture, people decided that the furniture and rugs had to be preserved in pristine condition and therefore the idea of removing your shoes inside the home was born. But only recently have Americans become such a weird bunch of paranoid hypochondriacs that now people think everything is a threat to our health and most importantly, is a threat to our children. God- it makes you wonder how children survived before we had all the things that are designed and purchased today to save their little lives. Video baby monitors, breathing detectors to prevent SIDS, special plastic for their bottles so they don’t ingest harmful chemicals, special UV-protective clothing. It never stops and I think people like feeling like we have to keep our kids and ourselves in bubbles to prevent combustion if we’re exposed to the world at large. We think our microwaves are rendering us infertile, our water bottles and our charcoal barbecues are giving us cancer. Kids can’t even wear backpacks to school! You drive past a school and the kids are all pulling their bags like they are tiny little flight attendants in training. I guess the fear is that the incredible weight of their spelling workbook and their pencil case can really do significant damage to their vertebrae if the load is carried on their backs in a backpack. So now they pull little suitcase/book bags on wheels and the look like a bunch of losers. So the progression of this type of paranoid fear about everything in the world being bad for us and our children, this has morphed into the deranged idea that it’s mortal sin to wear shoes indoors! This new attitude that we’re all a bunch of soft little wimps that need protection on every level- this is what makes this world intolerable. This is why governments now tell people in certain cities that they can’t smoke cigarettes anywhere- not even outdoors! This is why certain fats are outlawed. Salt content is restricted. Gas guzzling cars are going to be outlawed. Kids are forced to carry alcohol hand sanitizer to school to prevent the spread of germs. As if they go to school in a lab at the CDC! Kids must be exposed to germs. It’s an important part of life and human evolution to build up the immune response. But big mouths, know-it-alls, people like you, with no accurate knowledge of how germs and illnesses are spread- ignoramuses like you should not preach to others about their strange theories they picked up while surfing the web or reading Cosmo. And you should not torture the rest of the world with the nonsense you think you learned after reading an article in Parents magazine or a blog on WebMD. Every time you make someone take his or shoes off in your house remember that people’s socks are no less germy than shoes. And germs don’t behave and stay where you leave them. If you happened to step in animal urine out in the street somewhere, when you come inside and take your shoes off- the germs aren’t staying put, waiting politely with your shoes for you to leave. They’ll cling to your socks, travel to your hands if you touch your shoes, they’ll end up on the floor or the doormat in the entrance way to be tracked by other people. Asking people to take their shoes off to keep your family and children in the house healthy is retarded. People carry in germs on their hands and clothing more than anywhere else so unless you are going to require guests to put on a Tyvek jumpsuit and don sterile latex gloves upon entering your home, you might as well stop the foolish complaining and find something better to do than obsess about shoes indoors.

  18. bea says:

    what season and episode is this? caroline is my fave!

  19. Get a Life! says:

    Real City Housewife: Your blog is so funny. Not funny haha, funny pathetic. You are a creeper! Why are you so obsessed over these women? Bravo did it’s job by luring and realing you in on this show. HOORAY for capitalism – this show is an advertiser’s dream! Hope you’re not an insecure, jealous housewife wishing you had a show, living vicariously through a blog – PAH-THETIC! Haha, yes, I’m picking on you. I know this is a hobby for you, but PAH-LEASE girl, use your time and energy for something other than knocking the horrible make-up jobs on these girls! Speaking of time, mine is important so C-YA. God, I wish Google wouldn’t have links to $HITE like this! Oh yeah, those sunglasses look stupid! Gobble Gobble, Gossip Gossip..Turkey!

    Peace out!

    • RCH says:

      Yet you’re the one spending your time commenting on a blog that is more than a year old. Let me know when you catch up to the rest of us in 2011 where no one even remembers this episode anymore.

  20. ladyinredny@hotmail.com says:

    I dislike teresea and the whole cast but your comments about people’s makeup is ridiculous and wrong! Makeup is personal preference! when will these ugly trolls realize that u cant tell folks how to wear their blush,foudnation,bronzer,eyeshadow,mascara,etc! do your ugly face how you want to, let otehrs do their own makeup HOW THEY WANT TO!

    How her foundation too light? if anything ive seen it go lighter and its actually not light enough! take her pic all over the globe and u will see ppl will tell u she looks fine! there is no such thing as “too” anything! I understand this is a western culture of “bronzing” and anything pale is taboo nowadays in the media! Makeup is personal preference! u cant tell folks how to wear their blush,foudnation,bronzer,eyeshadow,mascara,etc! do your ugly face how you want to, let others do their own makeup HOW THEY WANT TO! some women love that porcelain/light flawless dita vonteese skin,others love that sexy sunkissed daker bronzey skin. Alot of people have faces lighter than their necks NATURALLY! and they dont want to choose a dark shade because they dont want to look oxidized and muddy!
    In general,I disagree with telling anyone how to wear their foundation,blush/powder/eyelin­eretc. Everyone has their own style. Many light people tend to go light/lighter or mix it with a luminzer to make themselves brighter/radiant/porcelin like. An example would be dita von teese, who stays out the sun to maintain her light skintone and wears light foundation. Others prefer to be dark/darker andsunbathe or use bronzer all over their skintone. Different people have different preferences. I hate bronzer. But maybe there is someone who loves that deep bronzed look. I cant go to them and say “dont go soo deep in the bronzer” and say its “constructive”. There are soo many different styles.who is anyone to tell someone theyre wearing a too light or too dark foundation, because there is no such thing. Nicole and Sam from pixiwoo(huge makeupartists in Britain) sometimes wear paler or darker foundation and it looks gorgeous! as long as people blend it to the neck its fine….some people prefer to look bright/light/white/porcelain/bronzed/darker/suunkissed and radiant. Live and let live! also, many people’s necks or faces are lighter
    if thats your photo than you need to touch up your roots, youre no beauty!
    you have alot of makeup on that I can call you out on but Im not like you!
    ONCE AGAIN, I DISLIKE TERESEA AND THE WHOLE CAST! her attitude and her kid’s attitudes are disgusting! but talking about folk’s makeup or physical features is wrong,especially when youre not good looking! nobody has the right to tell folks how to wear their damn makeup!

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